Depressed visitor
This afternoon, a beautiful visitor in our sleep psychology center said gloomily: I am a newly graduated college student, and I have just worked for a few months. A male colleague always joked with me, and suddenly gave me a hug that day and smiled and said that you are not heavy. In addition, I often stay in my office when no one is around recently, and sometimes I hold my hand jokingly. I am disgusted, distressed and depressed. What should I do, Dr. Ding?
I said, this is sexual harassment.
She asked: Excuse me, Dr. Ding, how is sexual harassment defined?
sexual harassment refers to harassment based on sexual desire, verbal actions with sexual implications, or religious ceremonies aimed at the harassed object, usually the victim's body touches the victim's sexual features, which hinders the victim's freedom of behavior and causes the victim to resist.
It refers to the sexual and unwelcome actions, gestures, language and graphic display that lead to serious consequences, except for crimes of sexual violence such as rape.
Forms of expression
1. Oral way: tease each other with the following language and tell them about their personal sexual experiences, pornographic jokes or pornographic literary content;
2. Action mode: intentionally touching, bumping and kissing the other person's face, breasts, legs, buttocks, genitals and other sexually sensitive parts;
3. Setting the environment: arranging obscene pictures and advertisements around the workplace to embarrass the other party.
Main types
1. Compensatory sexual harassment: Most sexual molesters belong to this kind of men, and the impulse caused by long-term lack or sexual hunger is bound to make him make indecent and offensive moves towards women. The harassment behavior of such people is mostly due to different degrees of loss psychology, and the purpose of harassment is not so much to possess women as to take advantage.
2. Game sexual harassment: Most of them are men who have had sexual experience, understand women's weaknesses, regard women as playthings, and are indecent and disrespectful to women out of their intentional game mentality. Such men are generally "prey experts" or playboys. Half of the purpose of harassment is to seek novelty, but also to prove one's male "potential energy" and "skill".
3. Power-based sexual harassment: it mostly occurs in boss to employee or boss to subordinate, especially female secretary. Harassers are mostly well-educated, and although they are mostly out of the game mentality, they are more advanced and polite than ordinary players. Most of these harassers regard women as "consumer goods", and because of the obvious interest relationship, he even thinks that women like this harassment and regards this harassment as his "patent".
4. Aggressive sexual harassment: Most of these men have had an unpleasant relationship with women in their early years, and they have great ill feelings and hatred for women, and regard women as inferior animals or enemies. His harassment is intentionally harmful or offensive. The harasser sometimes doesn't want to possess the woman, but only satisfies and balances his contempt and hatred for the woman.
5. Pathological sexual harassment: This is sexual harassment with obvious pathological manifestations, such as voyeurism and exhibitionism. Most of these male molesters are real sexual dysfunction. Harassment itself can bring him strong sexual impulses and fantasies, but it can't "cure" him, but it will deepen his illness.
misunderstanding
1. Only women will be sexually harassed
According to general figures, most of the victims are women, but in fact men will also be sexually harassed, but the figures are generally low, which may be based on the fact that men have a narrower scope of sexual harassment than women. That is to say, most men have a greater tolerance when defining whether they are sexually harassed, or they are mostly indifferent. For example, women are more sensitive to being patted on the back than men; If women are sexually harassed, most men are reluctant to tell the outside world. They are worried that no one may believe it. Men's self-esteem makes them reluctant to tell others. Their sexual harassment by women may be interpreted as cowardice, which also shows their vulnerability and incompetence.
2. Only young people with good looks will be sexually harassed
No matter who they are, regardless of their gender, age, appearance, characteristics or background, they may be sexually harassed. And women's sexy clothes can't be used as an excuse for sexual harassment.
3. Sexual harassment in language is more common than sexual harassment in body
In fact, sexual harassment in language is more common, such as pornographic jokes. Many people think that some remarks or jokes with sexual awareness are a compliment to the other party, but the question is whether the other party's feelings are praise or insult.
psychological analysis
1. analysis of the psychological generation of sexual harassment
the psychological generation of sexual harassment has a great relationship with the abnormality of people's sexual desire.
Sexual desire, or sexual desire, is the most important sexual psychological factor in people's sexual consciousness activities, which constitutes the internal driving force of people's sexual behavior.
Sexual desire does not necessarily lead to sexual harassment or sexual crimes. Only when sexual desire is satisfied through normal channels will it not lead to violation of social moral norms and social norms and go astray.
people's sexual needs are driven by sexual awareness, and the intermediary of sexual awareness into sexual behavior is the motivation of sexual activities. Sexual motivation stimulates the parties to act and makes people choose sexual orientation and sexual objects in order to satisfy their sexual desire. The stronger and more urgent the sexual need, the more stable and powerful the sexual motivation caused by it.
people's sexual consciousness determines the direction of their sexual impulses. A person with unhealthy sexual consciousness will inevitably determine the direction of his sexual impulse to develop on the evil road, and he cannot restrain his sexual impulse with his own sexual concept and morality.
If people don't have this self-restraint, and there are no normal ways to satisfy their sexual impulses, they will turn their sexual impulses into sexual harassment, sexual deviance or sexual crimes under the impetus of other factors.
People's sexual repression can also make people form sexual harassment psychology. People who have accumulated desires for a long time without reasonable and normal venting will vent their accumulated desires in a distorted form.
2. Who are more likely to be harassed by the opposite sex
People who are beautiful and full of gender charm.
people who are weak, submissive, have poor independence and like to roll with the punches.
people who are dominated and manipulated by the opposite sex.
I often deal with the opposite sex, especially those who are not decent.
married people who are unhappy after marriage.
Unmarried people who fail to choose a spouse or are frustrated in love are easily harassed by the opposite sex when their personal privacy is leaked and becomes an open secret.
3. Who are more likely to harass the opposite sex?
Aggressive, aggressive, dominant and possessive people.
a person who holds certain social resources such as power, wealth and status.
people who are unhappy after marriage and have repeatedly failed in choosing a spouse, resulting in their long-term unsatisfied love and sexual desire.
people with promiscuous thoughts and moral corruption.
some people with sexual and psychological disorders.
Main influence
1. Sense of shame
Sexual harassment will affect and restrict the life of the harassed person and damage her image, self-esteem and self-confidence.
Personal dignity is the guardian of self-worth, and self-confidence is the embodiment of self-worth. If a woman suffers from sexual harassment repeatedly, she will easily doubt her own value.
People always have the heart to defend noble and good things. If you don't think you are noble, how can you defend yourself? However, the humiliation caused by sexual harassment often confuses a woman's own values. Made her feel ashamed of herself.
2. Fear
Due to physiological differences and cultural influences, many women have an inexplicable fear of men. The occurrence of sexual harassment will increase her disgust and fear, making her live in fear, doubt and depression. In addition, people have the gift of imagination, and unhappy imagination is likely to make her suffer from "androphobia", which will seriously affect her view of men as a whole.
3. Autism
Some girls have fallen into the habitual fear of "once bitten, twice shy" because of the painful memory of sexual harassment, and since then, they have consciously closed themselves up, refused to associate with men, refused to fall in love and get married, and became pessimistic and world-weary and became victims of sexual harassment.
4. Blind dependence
Due to timidity and fear, women who are sexually harassed are likely to feel blind dependence and subconsciously want to be protected by a man. This unsafe psychology of excessively expecting safety makes her prone to make marriage mistakes of "rushing for success" or "making a quick decision". Once married, I find that the man I wholeheartedly entrust is not much better than the sexual molester, and even that man will stab her again with her former pain after getting her.
Preventive measures
It is advisable to be conservative in daily clothes and behavior habits, and should not be too exposed or sexually provocative. Avoid being alone at night or in unsafe places, not eating drinks and food from strangers, and not drinking outside (if necessary, you can drink at home) ..............................................................................................
1. At work
1. Dress normally at work without revealing clothes, avoid sleeveless shirts and short skirts in summer, and wear insurance underwear if necessary.
2. If there is a pervert leader in the unit, you should stay away from him or choose to leave.
3. When colleagues at work deliberately tell dirty jokes to themselves, they should scoff at them and stay away from them.
4. If you are tired during working hours, you can go to the bathroom or take a walk, and you should avoid falling asleep alone at your desk. If you fall asleep alone, you will be hit by a pervert colleague or boss, which will inevitably lead to an incident. Avoid working overtime alone at night. If you really need to work overtime, you can take it home to work, or ask your friends and boyfriends to accompany you.
5. When entering the office of the male boss alone, you should keep the door open and behave generously and naturally. If the boss signals you to close the door, you should leave the door unlocked and try not to lock it.
6. If you are attacked by a pervert's colleague or boss, such as suddenly cuddling, you should keep your body stiff, struggle hard, resist from beginning to end, kick around with your hands and feet, such as ashtrays, desk lamps, tables and chairs, make a loud noise, and at the same time loudly warn and threaten. Once you relax, the other party will be more presumptuous; If the other person forcibly kisses you, you can't dodge it. You can bow your head at the moment when his mouth leans in, and you would rather be touched by that smelly mouth than your cheeks and lips. Generally speaking, when a pervert encounters such a situation, he will have no interest in sex and give up; If the situation is urgent, it is necessary to master one or two tricks of self-defense.
2. In life
1. Avoid going into and out of specific places such as bar boxes, KTV boxes and cinemas alone with multiple or single men. The mobility of people in these places and the complexity of their identities make them have a high risk of sexual harassment, and it is even more necessary to avoid spending too long with a large group of men alone; You should take a taxi when you go home too late at night, instead of passing through alleys or deserted streets alone. It is best not to let men take you home alone. Even if you are sent home, please say goodbye downstairs and don't invite wolves into the house.
2. If you need to have dinner or other activities with men, you should choose a separate seat facing each other, avoid a double seat, and trap yourself in it. During the period of getting along, if the other person's words or actions are disrespectful, you can pretend to make a phone call or send a text message to ruin the other person's interest, or even call for help under the pretext of going to the bathroom. Once you feel that the situation is wrong, you can sneak away from the bathroom under an excuse, and then call later to say that you are looking for help.
3. Always remember, don't trust anyone easily. Most "good people" are "good" to you with a purpose. Don't be deceived by each other's appearance. No senior liar or pervert will write a label on his face. The only people who are truly selfless and good to you are probably their relatives.
4. Beware of food, drinks, cigarettes, etc. of strangers or unfamiliar people, which are likely to be mixed with drugs. Once drugged, the consequences will be unimaginable; At the same time, we should also pay attention to the fact that in public places, such as bars, KTV and other places, if you leave halfway and come back, please don't eat any food or drinks on the table again, or you will be drugged.
5. Many women have been sexually harassed by perverts on buses and subways. In such cases, they should be reprimanded loudly and never tolerate. Call the police in time in case of danger.
Ding Jungui
April 19, 218