Teenagers will always encounter problems of one kind or another on the road of growth. Let's look at five psychological problems that teenagers may face.
Most adults think that "teenagers don't know what it's like to worry." Teenagers grow up carefree. How can they be troubled and confused?
However, it is precisely because of the neglect of children's psychological problems that when the pressure of study becomes heavier and heavier, the problem of children's "heart" becomes more and more serious.
"Heart" Problem 1: Tired of learning
Xiaoxi (a pseudonym) is a junior high school student. In primary school, she got excellent grades and served as a study committee member. However, after entering junior high school, she found that she had a hard time studying and her grades always failed to keep up. Every exam, she always uses her stomachache as an excuse to escape. Parents and teachers decided to take their children to psychological counseling after repeated communication failed.
Teacher Li, a psychological counselor, analyzed after communicating with Xiaoxi that Xiaoxi got good grades in primary school, but after entering junior high school, his grades declined due to improper learning methods and other reasons, and he gradually lost his confidence and motivation in learning. Every time he fails in the exam, Xiaoxi feels too stressed and breathless. She even wants to give up her studies. As a result, she was tired of studying.
Teacher Li believes that for teenagers, the quality of academic performance directly affects their future study and brings them great psychological pressure. Therefore, if some children can't keep up with their studies temporarily, parents should relax and don't give their children too high a position.
The second problem of "mind": interpersonal communication obstacles
Tong Tong's parents run a building materials shopping mall. Busy business and all kinds of entertainment make them too busy to care about their son's joys and sorrows. The children left them to their grandparents. Tong Tong said he could only see his parents for a month or two. Every time we meet, parents are most concerned about his grades and whether his pocket money is enough. In the eyes of parents, it is their duty to feed and clothe their son every day, provide him with the best environment and meet the various needs of their children. As Tong Tong grew up day by day, his parents found that his son became silent, as if he always had something on his mind. But every time he asked, Tong Tong always avoided talking about it. Suddenly one day, Tong Tong's mother found her son locked the drawer. After consulting with her husband, they pried open the drawer and peeked at his diary while his son was at school. Finally, one day, Tong Tong discovered his parents' behavior and had a fierce quarrel with them. "You never cared about me. You only care about making money! " Tong Tong ran away from home a few days after saying this. Tong Tong's parents searched everywhere in Internet cafes and other places, and finally found their son. Since then, Tong Tong has become more and more silent. She comes home from school later and later every day, and doesn't even say a word to her parents when she gets home. Parents tried to communicate with Tong Tong, but every time it turned into scolding, complaining and even quarreling. Tong Tong's parents realized that there was something wrong with their relationship with their children.
The psychological teacher said: "As parents, we should not only care about the children's food and clothing, but also care about their mood. Parents should spend more time with their children, communicate with them more, and resolve their confusion. Peeking at the child's diary will make Tong Tong feel that his privacy has been violated and his parents don't respect him, so he will distrust his parents even more and close himself up. " Teachers hope that parents can talk to their children rationally and friendly, and communicate with their children attentively.
Ms. Wang's daughter 13 years old. She has small eyes, short and fat. All her classmates laughed at her and gave her a nickname, "Bucket Girl, Big Face Cat". Students often use these nicknames to make fun of her. Because she was often teased by her classmates with nicknames, she became very inferior and didn't want to participate in the group activities in the class or play with her classmates. She thought about how to lose weight all day, and even refused to go to school, and her grades plummeted. In March this year, Xiang Xiang quit the team because of her poor performance in the physical education class relay race. Classmate Xiao Jia accused Xiao Jia in front of the whole class, laughing at her poor academic performance and the worst physical education performance in the class. Xiao Jia, whose self-esteem was hurt, rushed up and gave Xiao Jia a push and hurt her.
The counselor said, "Young primary and secondary school students with poor psychological endurance are mentally underdeveloped and have a nickname that ridicules and even insults nature, which may become a trauma that they can't let go of when they grow up. Especially for children who have defects and weaknesses in appearance, figure, dress, behavior and family status. Laughter is the earliest injury to children's spiritual development, and even affects the healthy formation of personality. Nicknames seem to be just jokes, but in fact they are disrespectful to others. This not only affects the feelings between classmates, but also leads to serious campus violence. "
"Heart" Question 3: Puppy love
/kloc-Mu Zi, a 0/4-year-old girl, is a junior three student. Because his parents were busy with work, Mu Zi lived with his grandparents since childhood. When Mu Zi was in the fourth grade, she lived with her parents. After returning to her parents, Mu Zi found that her parents were still busy with their careers and had no time to take care of her. Besides, Mu Zi feels that she and her parents are strangers, and there is almost no communication between them. Mu Zi's deskmate is a tall and handsome boy. He often takes care of Mu Zi, buys her breakfast and helps her review her lessons. Mu Zi fell in love with the boy. Because of puppy love, Mu Zi's energy was gradually dispersed, and her study was not as good as before. Mu Zi's mother communicated with her daughter for a long time, hoping that she would break up with the boy and concentrate on her studies. Mu Zi agreed, but never broke up.
Mu Zi's mother found a counselor. In the communication with Mu Zi, the counselor learned that Mu Zi always felt that his existence was redundant, and he felt insecure, lonely and abandoned. Due to the long-term lack of parents' care and communication, Mu Zi wants to find a support for her heart, hoping that someone can take care of herself.
The psychology teacher told Mu Zi's mother that in psychology, this is called emotional loss and compensation. Children who lack normal emotional experience with their parents can easily turn to external emotional compensation. Because Mu Zi lacks communication with her parents, her feelings are not satisfied. When she reaches puberty, her desire for emotional compensation will become stronger. If she is a little unhappy in her study and life, she will naturally turn to some friends of the opposite sex who are easy to accept her, thus causing puppy love.
"Heart" Question 4: Internet addiction
"In the virtual online world, I can find confidence, and other gamers are willing to bow down and admire me." When Binbin and Peng Xia talked about online games, he was very happy and full of energy.
Binbin is a sophomore this year and has been online for five years. In many online games, Binbin is a red man. Bin's parents divorced in their early years, and they often blame each other in front of their children. Binbin's mother has remarried and has a new family. She seldom cares about Binbin's study and life. Binbin's father is eager for his son's success and always asks Binbin to rank in the top three in the class. If he doesn't do well in the exam, he is often beaten. His father's unrealistic requirements for grades made Binbin breathless. In order to escape his father's nagging and demands, Binbin fell in love with Internet cafes, and found more and more sense of accomplishment and satisfaction through chatting, watching movies and playing games. In order to escape family conflicts and realistic pressure, he is addicted to the internet.
It is understood that there are more and more children with internet addiction. Peng Xia believes that children's addiction to the Internet is mostly related to their families. Many parents usually only care about their own affairs, regardless of their children's feelings. Children can only find themselves on the internet and find confidence in the game. Some parents have bad relations, even divorce, and never care about their children's feelings. In the end, children can only relieve their depression through the internet, which eventually leads to their internet addiction.
"Heart" problem 5: poor ability to resist setbacks
Xiao Xin, a senior girl, has several obvious scars on her left wrist. I have cut my wrist several times, and I can't stand the teacher's criticism. She tried to cut her wrist, hit her head against the wall and take sleeping pills. When a child has a problem, parents will always find the school and angrily accuse the teacher of not criticizing the child. Parents' lack of education and excessive doting on their children have reduced Xiaoxin's ability to resist setbacks.
The reporter learned in the interview that in recent years, the number of adolescent suicides is on the rise, which has become the primary cause of adolescent death. The teacher told reporters that many children are now only children, spoiled from childhood, lacking the necessary frustration education, poor psychological quality and lack the ability to cope with setbacks. It is impossible for a person not to encounter setbacks in his life. If a child does not experience the "baptism" of setbacks at home and is not psychologically prepared to deal with setbacks, it is like a flower in a greenhouse. Once hit by wind and rain, it is easy to wither and wither, unable to adapt to social life. Once there are some factors, such as quarreling with others, teacher's criticism, heavy study pressure, unsatisfactory exam results and even lovelorn, it may lead to the idea of escaping from reality and giving up life.
In the current educational environment, students are under great pressure. Parents and teachers should be good at observing children's performance, communicate in time when problems are found, and prevent accidents.
Prevention and countermeasures of common psychological problems of teenagers
Learn to guide children correctly, cultivate a healthy and optimistic new generation, and keep injuries away from children. Prevention is always more important than compensation.
First, the causes of adolescent psychological problems
One is the influence of family.
Many parents yearn for their children and pay attention to intellectual development. Educate children to learn foreign languages, play the piano, learn to draw and recite Tang poems as early as preschool. They put too many demands, too much pressure and too much study on their children for their high scores in various science exams, regardless of their psychological development level and endurance, almost squeezing out all opportunities for children to be naive and humbly accept natural and social influences. However, not many parents can pay enough attention to their children's mental health. Many parents don't know that their children's mental health is as important as their physical health and intellectual development. Due to parents' neglect and ignorance of psychological education, children's psychological development and intellectual development are seriously unbalanced, and their intellectual development is ahead and their psychological development is lagging behind, which forms a strong contrast among teenagers. Family education, which values intelligence over psychology, has caused serious congenital deficiency of children's psychological quality. Families that are easy to cause children's psychological abnormalities: discordant families, out-of-order families, families with no self-esteem, dishonest families, uneducated families and unsound families.
The second is the influence of society.
Today's society is in a period of change, with increasingly fierce competition and more complicated interpersonal relationships. There are more and more factors affecting people's mental health, and some unhealthy ideas coexist with the main theme of reform and opening up. Faced with the complicated social situation, young people with immature ability to distinguish right from wrong, driven by curiosity, sometimes take the essence and discard the dross. For example, with the popularity of computers and the proliferation of unhealthy video products such as obscenity and murder, and pornographic books and periodicals, the opportunities for teenagers to contact bad information in social media have greatly increased, and they are often subtly influenced.
At present, many schools have not implemented the transformation from exam-oriented education to quality education, ignoring the cultivation of teenagers' psychological quality. Examination results and entrance examination results have become the only criteria to measure whether teenagers have a future. Teenagers also regard the frustration of entrance examination as the frustration and failure of life, but the school ignores the cultivation of teenagers' psychological quality. The teacher didn't tell them how to face setbacks and failures in advance. When young people are faced with setbacks in exams and further studies, they will naturally feel scared and have a bleak future at the thought of being reprimanded by their parents or teachers. Some people choose to escape and give up on themselves completely. Some even run away from home, causing undue defects to their families, schools, society and themselves. In addition, the heavy academic burden leads to psychological fatigue and emotional anxiety of teenagers. The academic burden of many schools is reflected in three excesses: study overload, study difficulty and study time.
Fourth, it is the youth's own reasons.
Teenagers are at the peak of their growth and development, and their psychological development is complicated. They pursue a sense of adulthood and have independent intentions. But these psychology conflicts with their dependence in real life. They only demand rights but are unwilling to fulfill their obligations. They just want to be loved, but they don't know how to love others, because their self-evaluation ability is low. They have a bad tendency, knowing others, not knowing themselves, being strict with themselves and tolerating others. Some teenagers are too confident and conceited. Driven by a strong desire for self-expression and vanity, they deliberately behave irrationally and even deliberately confront educators! Behavior often runs counter to the wishes of educators. Besides, teenagers are in infancy! Full of curiosity and mystery about the opposite sex, it is easy to have puppy love problems, during which you need to experience various puzzles, contradictions and challenges of psychological development.
Second, the countermeasures to eliminate the psychological problems of teenagers.
The first is to improve the quality of teachers' psychological counseling ability.
Teachers' quality is very important in teenagers' psychological consultation, and the professional skills of teenagers' psychological quality education should be an important condition for teachers' essential quality and teachers' ability evaluation.
The second is to carry out various forms of mental health education.
The first is to set up psychological counseling courses to popularize psychological knowledge and let teenagers know psychological knowledge. In particular, we should master some mental health standards and learn how to get rid of psychological barriers. The second is to set up psychological consultation, consultation mailbox and hotline to carry out one-on-one psychological consultation activities. Third, widely carry out activities to open the window of the soul and whisper to each other among teenagers. Because peers talk to each other, communicate with each other and share their worries, it is easy to achieve the purpose of psychological counseling. Four families and schools should join hands to carry out psychological counseling. Schools should take parents' meeting as the channel to do some publicity to let parents know more about psychological counseling and help schools to carry out their work. Families and schools can work together to form a joint force, so that mental health education can achieve better results. The fifth is to cultivate teenagers' interpersonal skills and promote the harmony and harmony of class collective relations.
The third is to continuously improve the quality of parents.
Parents need to realize that being a qualified parent requires continuous learning.
Fourth, the growing teenagers improve themselves.
Interpersonal communication is very attractive. However, the current school education aims at further study and overemphasizes the competition among teenagers, which leads to the tension and monotony of school life. In addition, the unitization of modern family housing and the increasing number of only children have objectively bound the interpersonal communication of teenagers. Such class groups cannot meet the emotional needs of teenagers, so they cannot develop healthily. Schools should take courses, lectures, counseling, discussion, study groups, experiments and other ways. It will guide teenagers to get in touch with society and make friends extensively, so that teenagers can establish interpersonal relationships of mutual understanding, trust and care, and make progress and overcome in communication.