Last year my wife and I watched a cartoon called "Coco". There were many touching scenes in it, and I burst into tears when I saw the depth of love. Whether in the East or in the West, we miss the deceased with the same deep feelings and the same deep meaning. It's just a different way.
There is a year-round custom in my hometown, called sitting on paper. The specific operation details are slightly different, but they are similar.
On the afternoon of New Year’s Eve every New Year’s Eve when a relative has passed away less than three years ago, the filial son wears linen and mourns, prepares incense wax paper and temporary plaques on a square plate, with one person holding an oil lamp in front, and usually the eldest son holds the plate and follows the lamp. Afterwards, the other filial sons and helpers followed, went to the grave to kneel down, burned paper and made libations, then lit lamps and fired cannons, and finally went home in the same formation.
After entering the house, a letter of honor was posted in the main hall (transliteration: it was posted in the mourning hall when he died, about 2 meters high and 30 centimeters wide, with the words "The memorial tablet of the deceased xxxxxx" written on it, and it was kept for three years). The oil lamp is placed on the table behind the lamp wall and the tribute is offered. The whole process is commonly known as receiving paper.
Starting from New Year's Eve until the afternoon of the third day of the Lunar New Year, people come and go during the day and night, accepting the kneeling ceremony of villagers, relatives and friends, one is to remember the deceased, and the other is to kneel and worship the ancestors. After kneeling down and worshiping, they drank tea, ate vegetables, drank wine, exchanged greetings, played cards and colors, it was no longer restrained and it was very lively. Staying up late on New Year's Eve has become the exclusive preserve of the elderly, and women and children all go to watch the Spring Festival Gala. In my hometown, I haven’t watched a complete Spring Festival Gala in many years, including this time.
The afternoon of the third grade of junior high school is similar to the process of receiving paper, which is called paper delivery. There is pick-up and drop-off, perfect.
If you have a son or a daughter, someone cares about you. This happened every year for the three years before your death, and you would be welcomed and given away to show your filial piety.
In "Coco", there are people in the family of the deceased who care about him, and photos are posted there. He lives a dignified, happy and immortal life there. There are great differences between Eastern and Western cultures, but the yearning for the deceased is equally strong, but the way of expression is different.
The torch is passed down from generation to generation in the West, and burning oil lamps on paper in the hometown is also a way of commemoration. There is no distinction between elegance and vulgarity, noble and lowly, what is inherited is a kind of spirit.