What can inspire a person's initiative? That is, he can get a sense of accomplishment from what he does, and that is, you can make him feel that he has done a good job.
How can I make him feel that he is excellent? You can ask yourself this question: When I do something and my partner reacts, do I feel good?
If my partner is happy, I will feel good; I feel good when my partner expresses his appreciation for me; What I do arouses my partner's curiosity, and I will feel that I am doing well. And these are all positive feedbacks. When a person can get positive feedback from others, he will gain more motivation to take the right path.
In a word, intimate relationship is a kind of cooperation in essence, and the best situation in cooperative relationship is not a game where you lose and I win, but a win-win situation.
If you want to win, you need to make the other person feel comfortable, make him profit and see hope. So that he will be willing to invest more in this relationship. Emotional games can't make a good relationship, but mutual success will become the nourishment in the relationship.