Among the 20-character moral standards put forward in the Implementation Outline of Citizen Moral Construction promulgated by the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, "sincerity" is a very important criterion, which means seeking truth and justice. The ancients said that "true self" was sincere. Not refined and sincere, not moving.
As General Secretary Hu Jintao said in his speech: "The socialist harmonious society we want to build should be a society with democracy and the rule of law, fairness and justice, honesty and friendship, vitality, stability and order, and harmony between man and nature."
From the above analysis, we believe that no matter whether a lie is for a good purpose or not, being a lie will inevitably hinder honesty.
First: white lies are out of goodwill, with the purpose and starting point of safeguarding the interests of others. As we all know, contradictions can be divided into universality and particularity, and particularity is contained in particularity and different from universality. The essence of a white lie determines that it is not a bad benefit, but is based on sincerity and kindness in the heart, while a malicious lie is an act of seeking benefits for the liar, which only regards others as a means and does not hesitate to hurt others, with a strong desire for profit and weak rationality. The lies that people who are kind in themselves are "forced" to tell in a certain state are well-intentioned and a kind of friendliness and concern for the subject. However, unscrupulous people, no matter how to disguise, how to rhetoric, how to rack their brains to crown their malicious lies with malicious purposes. Obviously, a white lie does not hinder honesty.
Second: White lies are a way of life and a reflection of considerate quality.
Relatives and friends of terminally ill patients always tell their illness lightly with white lies and encourage him to cooperate with doctors. I'm sure none of you here will accuse them of dishonesty, will you? ! On the contrary, it is malicious and true. A prisoner was lured by the enemy to tell about his troop deployment. Does anyone think he is honest? Sincerity to the enemy is betrayal to the country!
The director of the judicial expertise department of Guangzhou Brain Hospital said: "Lying is a human instinct. As for honesty, the key is what kind of lies to use. "
A lie that rejects love without directly hurting the suitor; An expressive lie that is unwilling to disappoint the inviter under the attentions of men is indispensable in interpersonal communication. It makes us more handy when dealing with the world, instead of cutting off other people's heads and scratching ourselves like a hard stone with many edges.
It can be seen that people need a layer of protective color and lubrication. Since being expelled from the Garden of Eden, people are not naked but surrounded by bark and grass leaves, aren't they?
Third: white lies are a kind of lies, but not telling lies will definitely hinder honesty. It is necessary to analyze specific problems.
Honesty is respected by everyone because it is kind and does not cheat. On the surface, white lies seem to hinder the principle of honesty, but in essence, they exist because telling the truth hinders the principle of good faith.
White lies and honesty are actually the relationship of unity of opposites, and the so-called violation only provides a useful supplement to honesty, not an obstacle. For example, it is stipulated that pedestrians in the same direction can only occupy half of the road, which does not hinder everyone's passage!
Fourth: A world without lies is like a dust-free earth. We agree that white lies do not hinder honesty, but this does not mean that we advocate honesty. The key is the degree.
Statement:
What is lying? If it is indiscriminate, it is defined as: not seeking truth from facts, telling lies, exaggerating, covering up and distorting the truth. Then our life is full of lies, big and small, from inflammatory advertisements to sweet words between lovers, full of exaggerated words, and even Lian Wenxue's works have become lies. Everyone has a standard of lying in his heart. How to grasp this degree is our first consideration. Compared with lies with bad motives, white lies will make people's feelings more harmonious and harmonious, and life more interesting. It can skillfully avoid conflicts, realize emotional communication and communicate smoothly. How can it interfere with honesty?
So learn to distinguish malicious lies and protect yourself from harm; At the same time, improve your self-cultivation and think about the best way to solve the problem. "The way of a university lies in virtue, being close to the people and stopping at perfection". As for those that are warm and make life full of interest; As for those lies full of kindness and compassion, let them bloom!
I believe that under the sky of goodwill, our world will be better! !
Thousands of loves, love is far away, mountains and moons do not know the heart, water and wind fall in front of us. White lies argue that there is no cloud in Wan Li, snow in Wan Li, drifting away, duckweed enchanting. The slanting building swaying jasper, peony flowers floating all over the city, drinking at night, who will help if you are drunk? -Inscription I am not as flamboyant as I used to be; Now I don't have my old ambitions. At this time, I am like an abandoned grass, growing alone on barren land, exposed to the sun and baptized by thunderstorms. Endure maddening loneliness and emptiness in people's hearts. I no longer want so-called money and power; No longer expect academic achievements that teachers and parents regard as treasures; No longer expect to establish good interpersonal relationships with savage high school students. I just want to. . . . . . I just want someone to accompany me, someone to comfort me and someone to take care of me. It can make me complain bitterly and have feelings to follow; Can let me pour out my heart and show my heart; Help me heal the wounds in my heart, it is difficult to heal under my own efforts. But who will notice my withered grass? Who will sacrifice their time to protect me-who has nothing to do with their luxury? I have to freeze my heart, make it as hard as steel to resist external interference, control my heart, make it like stagnant water, even if the storm comes, even if it is exposed to the hot sun. I will silently wait for the arrival of spring in the beautiful grassland of white lie debate.
I believe everyone has heard of opportunity cost! In other words, when you do one thing, you lose the opportunity to do other things at the same time. If you want to achieve the effect of white lies, you must sacrifice honesty, which is the opportunity cost of white lies!
In addition, modern psychological research points out that white lies can be divided into two categories: one is the white lies of the object, and the other is the white lies of the subject.
The so-called white lie of the object is a white lie whose starting point is completely for the benefit of the other party. It states the object of white lies more, such as praising a mentally retarded child and saying that he is smart and giving him confidence. This kind of object lies in goodwill and undermines honesty, which is a chronic poisoning.
The so-called white lie of the subject is a white lie whose starting point contains the elements of safeguarding or seeking self-interest. It states more about the subject who lies in good faith. For example, a child does not listen carefully in class. When he got home, his mother asked him if he had listened carefully. He didn't want his mother to blame him or feel sad, so he lied and said that he had listened carefully. This subject's well-intentioned lie obviously undermines honesty and is an acute poisoning.
Another debater's misunderstanding that white lies do not hinder honesty is nothing more than the hidden influence of white lies on the integrity of the object. You don't see the essence through the phenomenon, and you don't realize that this is a chronic poisoning.
Why is the object of white lies chronic poisoning? Psychological research explains that because the white lies of the object destroy the integrity, they will not be directly perceived by people, but will gradually corrode people's integrity system over time. The concept of dishonesty is hidden in their subconscious, and there is "for others!" This sentence will become his inner excuse for undermining integrity in the future.
For the above reasons, we believe that white lies hinder honesty!
There is no doubt that a white lie is itself a lie. Lies, lying is cheating, cheating is immoral, immoral things are unpopular. These are all instilled by teachers since childhood. But we ask ourselves, who hasn't lied? For our relatives, friends or strangers, there are many purposes, but when we add "goodwill" to a lie, it seems that everyone can accept it, which is the concentrated expression of human weakness.
Mark. Twain once said, "When you can't make up your mind, tell the truth. It will embarrass your opponent and make your friends feel relieved. " So the psychologist's point of view is: don't lie easily, even if it is a white lie.
We think we should distinguish things from the definition and synthesize the interpretation of Kangxi Dictionary. A white lie is not seeking truth from facts, telling lies and empty words, exaggerating, covering up and distorting the truth. From the structural analysis of white lie phrases, it is a partial phrase and the head word is a lie, so white lie is a lie in essence. It is an indisputable fact that white lies are often used by some "professional liars" because of their uncertainty. A "lie" itself is dark, and the likes and dislikes of things are not measured by the purpose of things. A white lie itself is a lie. Although he has shed his beggar's clothes and put on his cheongsam, he still can't get rid of the essence of lies, which means cheating and hinders honesty. White lies have a good starting point, but once they are exposed, they will do more harm to each other. As a lie itself, it is already a violation of good faith.
Among the 20-character moral standards put forward in the Implementation Outline of Citizen Moral Construction promulgated by the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, "sincerity" is a very important criterion, which means seeking truth and justice. The ancients said that "true self" was sincere. Not refined and sincere, not moving.
As General Secretary Hu Jintao said in his speech: "The socialist harmonious society we want to build should be a society with democracy and the rule of law, fairness and justice, honesty and friendship, vitality, stability and order, and harmony between man and nature."
From the above analysis, we believe that no matter whether a lie is for a good purpose or not, being a lie will inevitably hinder honesty.
Counterparty: Honesty is a means, not an end. The fundamental principle of communication with people is seeking truth from facts and being kind to others. A white lie is also a means, which has the same effect as honesty. Considering the patient's endurance, in order not to increase the mental burden of the patient, it is in line with the purpose of honesty to temporarily conceal the illness and fabricate white lies. Malicious lies are to achieve ulterior motives, fabricate facts, reverse right and wrong, confuse black and white, and create rumors. It is fundamentally different from a white lie.
Here I give two small examples:
I watched a TV report that an old mother had kidney disease, and her life would be in danger if she didn't change her kidney. At this time, the eldest son stood up and asked for kidney donation, which hurt the old mother, who strongly opposed it. She said that if so, she might as well die. No way, we can only wait for a kidney source that matches the conditions, but it is really not easy to wait for such a kidney source. My son was afraid of delaying his mother's illness. After discussing with his family, I cheated my mother. I donated a kidney from my youth to my mother. After the operation was successful, the family kept it from their old mother. The most touching thing is that my mother and son live in the next ward. My mother doesn't know. When my mother wanted to see her eldest son, my family just lied to her that her son was on a business trip. After reading this report, I was moved to tears. Friends, does such a lie hinder honesty?
A little girl with leukemia, at the end of her life, when the doctor asked her what her greatest wish was, she said that she wanted to go to Tiananmen Square to watch the flag-raising ceremony. How can doctors and parents not satisfy a dying girl's last wish? However, because her family lives in a distant Xinjiang, if her requirements are met, the doctor is afraid that the girl can't stand the fatigue of the journey, so a collective fabrication activity organized by more than 2,000 volunteers, doctors and the girl's family began. From boarding the train to taking the tour bus, along the way, from reporting to the waiter serving tea, and even to the conversation of passengers, everyone deliberately arranged. Finally, they came to a school, accompanied by the national anthem of a military band. The blind girl thought she really came to the long-awaited Tiananmen Square. When she was unable to raise her little hand to salute the national flag, all the people present shed tears. This collective lying action organized by more than 2,000 people, can you say that their white lies hinder honesty?
Also, many elderly people are uncomfortable and refuse to let their children know at the first time, for fear of affecting their normal work and study! Many children say that falling doesn't hurt, just to let their parents say they are brave! There are many women who silently contribute behind the successful personnel, tired but not complaining, so that their husbands can do their work better with peace of mind and care less about their families ... There are countless examples in our country with a long history of civilization, and facts speak louder than words. To sum up, they are all lying, but their lies are well-intentioned and do not hinder honesty. ...
A white lie will not hinder honesty.
Lies are called "lies" because they are false, untrue and deceptive words. If a person often lies in his mouth to deceive others, he will lose people's trust over time. Just like the children in "Lying Children", they cry "Wolf" every day, seeking excitement and happiness. When the wolf does come, he has to face it alone and bear it alone. No matter how much he shouts, it won't help, and no one will come to help him again. Because people who might come to help him are used to his yelling and think that he is "teasing you" again. It can be seen that lies hinder honesty.
But today we say "lies", and there is another attribute-goodwill. After adding this qualifier, the nature of lies has changed fundamentally. "White lies" are people's good wishes for things, a dialogue between people's kind hearts, the warmth of people comforting each other, and the tenderness revealed in people's hearts ... No one will investigate its credibility. People who hear a white lie will try to believe it even if they know it is a lie, and will not feel the hypocrisy of the liar, and sometimes they will be grateful from the heart.
When a terminally ill patient is sentenced to death by a doctor, his parents, lover, children and all relatives will not directly tell him, "Life is hopeless" and "How long can I live in this world at most". Although all this is true, who will tell the truth to their already miserable relatives as cruelly as a judge sentenced a prisoner to death? At this time, everyone will form a United front, keep silent about the truth, and use white lies to make patients full of hope for treatment and let patients spend the rest of their lives with peace of mind. Does this hinder honesty?
When a dead child suddenly encounters misfortune and loses his loved ones, how can he explain to him where his loved ones have gone? We think the best way is: don't tell him the real situation for the time being, just say to go on a business trip in a distant place or study abroad. When the child is sensible and has a certain tolerance, he will tell the truth, and the child will understand the practices of his loved ones and will not be angry because he did not know the truth earlier. Don't such words also hinder the integrity!
How I wish I could see my son for the last time when his mother was terminally ill and dying. However, my son can't come back, and he can't do a little filial piety for his old mother and take care of the mother who once broke his heart for his son. He regrets and misses it. The old mother understands her son very well and tells her relatives around her not to tell her distant son after she leaves and not to distract him. She should say that her condition is stable, reassure him and do her best for the country. Don't interfere with honesty with such white lies!
Therefore, I insist that white lies not only do not hinder honesty, but also greatly enhance the friendship and feelings between people and have an indelible effect on social stability. I suggest that you use white lies when you should, and there is not much serious conflict with honesty.
White lies do not hinder the four arguments of honesty.
Next, I will make a concluding statement on our position.
First: white lies are out of goodwill, with the purpose and starting point of safeguarding the interests of others. As we all know, contradictions can be divided into universality and particularity, and particularity is contained in particularity and different from universality. The essence of a white lie determines that it is not a bad benefit, but is based on sincerity and kindness in the heart, while a malicious lie is an act of seeking benefits for the liar, which only regards others as a means and does not hesitate to hurt others, with a strong desire for profit and weak rationality. The lies that people who are kind in themselves are "forced" to tell in a certain state are well-intentioned and a kind of friendliness and concern for the subject. However, unscrupulous people, no matter how to disguise, how to rhetoric, how to rack their brains to crown their malicious lies with malicious purposes. Obviously, a white lie does not hinder honesty.
Second: White lies are a way of life and a reflection of considerate quality.
Relatives and friends of terminally ill patients always tell their illness lightly with white lies and encourage him to cooperate with doctors. I'm sure none of you here will accuse them of dishonesty, will you? ! On the contrary, it is malicious and true. A prisoner was lured by the enemy to tell about his troop deployment. Does anyone think he is honest? Sincerity to the enemy is betrayal to the country!
The director of the judicial expertise department of Guangzhou Brain Hospital said: "Lying is a human instinct. As for honesty, the key is what kind of lies to use. "
A lie that rejects love without directly hurting the suitor; An expressive lie that is unwilling to disappoint the inviter under the attentions of men is indispensable in interpersonal communication. It makes us more handy when dealing with the world, instead of cutting off other people's heads and scratching ourselves like a hard stone with many edges.
It can be seen that people need a layer of protective color and lubrication. Since being expelled from the Garden of Eden, people are not naked but surrounded by bark and grass leaves, aren't they?
Third: white lies are a kind of lies, but not telling lies will definitely hinder honesty. It is necessary to analyze specific problems.
Honesty is respected by everyone because it is kind and does not cheat. On the surface, white lies seem to hinder the principle of honesty, but in essence, they exist because telling the truth hinders the principle of good faith.
White lies and honesty are actually the relationship of unity of opposites, and the so-called violation only provides a useful supplement to honesty, not an obstacle. For example, it is stipulated that pedestrians in the same direction can only occupy half of the road, which does not hinder everyone's passage!
Fourth: A world without lies is like a dust-free earth. We agree that white lies do not hinder honesty, but this does not mean that we advocate honesty. The key is the degree.
What is lying? If it is indiscriminate, it is defined as: not seeking truth from facts, telling lies, exaggerating, covering up and distorting the truth. Then our life is full of lies, big and small, from inflammatory advertisements to sweet words between lovers, full of exaggerated words, and even Lian Wenxue's works have become lies. Everyone has a standard of lying in his heart. How to grasp this degree is our first consideration. Compared with lies with bad motives, white lies will make people's feelings more harmonious and harmonious, and life more interesting. It can skillfully avoid conflicts, realize emotional communication and communicate smoothly. How can it interfere with honesty?
So learn to distinguish malicious lies and protect yourself from harm; At the same time, improve your self-cultivation and think about the best way to solve the problem. "The way of a university lies in virtue, being close to the people and stopping at perfection". As for those that are warm and make life full of interest; As for those lies full of kindness and compassion, let them bloom!
There is no saying that white lies are beautiful. When we tell some little lies for the happiness and hope of others, lies become understanding, respect and tolerance, which has magical power.
Let's give an example. One student was not very good at long-distance running, but in an exam, the teacher told him that the speed of long-distance running was faster than other students, and that he had the opportunity to participate in the competition on behalf of the school and told him to work hard. The student was very excited after listening to the teacher's words, because he always thought that he had no talent for long-distance running and could actually participate in the competition on behalf of the school. From that day on, he really liked long-distance running and kept running every day. After a while, he was really chosen because he couldn't represent the school at all.
Once a teacher told a lie that he could predict the future for his students: you may become a mathematician in the future, he may become a writer, and which one has artistic talent ... In the guidance, edification, encouragement and shaping of the teacher, the children become diligent, sensible and studious. A few years later, a large number of students entered the university with excellent results, and the village became famous. People think that the old teacher can pinch and calculate and can perceive the future. In fact, the teacher's good intention is to plant a beautiful lie in the child's heart, just like planting a seed in the soil, which will eventually grow sturdily and blossom.
When I read the American short story The Last Leaf, my eyes are always moist. When the sick old man looked at the dead leaves and was desolate and desperate, the loving painter decorated the withered tree of life with a carefully sketched green leaf, thus maintaining a dying light of life. Isn't this the acme of lies?
Lies out of good wishes are the nourishment of life and the source of faith. It makes people ignite the fire of hope from the heart and firmly believe that there is love, trust and emotion in the world, thus finding more reasons to laugh at life. White lies endow humanity with spirituality, reflect the delicacy of emotions and the maturity of thoughts, and urge people to be strong and persistent, to fight for it involuntarily, and finally to overcome their fragility and survive.
A lie from parents makes a child's face bloom like a flower; The teacher's lies make the wandering students no longer confused and grow better; The doctor's lies make the fearful patient move from destruction to rebirth. ...
Dear friends, wake up. In fact, white lies don't hinder honesty at all. Don't think that white lies will hinder honesty, because as long as you think of others, white lies are precious. It will neither cause a crisis of trust, nor defile civilization, nor distort human nature.
White lies have magical power, encouraging you to make progress again and again, and never giving up for your dreams. Because the future road is completely illuminated by happy mood, life becomes better.
If confession is a mistake, I choose lies.
If telling the truth, being frank and being reckless is a kind of harm, I choose lies.
If it's for yourself or others to stop suffering and sadness, what's the harm of a little more lies?
Example example 1:
There are more examples of lifesaving lies. On August 2, last year, the Wenlian Coal Mine in Louxia Town, Pu 'an County was flooded, and Xiao Hongyang Tongshun and others were working underground. Ten minutes later, the flood flooded the roadway and ceiling, and the way out was blocked. After that, they were forced to a platform one meter high and three meters wide above the roadway, and the water level was still rising, which was extremely critical.
The four of them took turns digging coal ash above the platform in two groups, and dug two steps more than one meter high in two days. In the case of running out of ammunition and food, they didn't eat for three or four days, and hunger, cold, fear and despair came together. In order to encourage everyone to fight against imminent death in despair, Hong Xiao lied again and again that the water level was falling, and whoever could hold on would get out alive.
On the fourth day, someone had collapsed in the tunnel in thin air, but at this moment, the water level really dropped. The four of them felt an opportunity to escape and climbed to the wellhead step by step. At this time, the nine pumps at the wellhead are draining around the clock. Inoue people thought that the four of them had no hope of survival, but they didn't expect to win the final victory in the struggle with death.
Example 2:
Another example is that an American transport plane was forced to land in the desert in the last century, but the plane was seriously damaged and could not resume taking off. Communication equipment was also destroyed and communication with the outside world was interrupted. Nine passengers and a driver fell into despair; Their instinct for survival makes them fight for limited dry food and water.
At a critical moment, a passenger on an airplane stepped forward temporarily and said, "Don't panic, I'm an airplane designer. As long as everyone Qi Xin works together to listen to my command, the plane can be repaired. " It's like a shot in the arm, which has stabilized everyone's mood. They consciously save water and dry food. Everything is in good order, and everyone is United in fighting against the sandstorm.
Ten days have passed and the plane has not been repaired; However, a caravan passing through the desert saved them. A few days later, it was discovered that the temporary passenger was not an airplane designer at all. He is a primary school teacher and knows nothing about airplanes. Someone called him a liar after knowing the truth and asked him angrily: everyone's life is almost gone. How dare you cheat us? The teacher said: If I hadn't lied, would everyone still be alive now?
The above story tells us that white lies are the hope of life, an oasis in the desert, and sometimes they really change the trajectory of our lives.
In Beijing, there is a Beijing Anti-cancer Association, which is often active in yuyuantan park. It is full of cancer patients, and many people are optimistic and cheerful.
When people are in a good mood, their illness is much lighter, but some of them are very serious, and cancer cells have spread. So everyone encouraged them to face it hard and try to avoid some serious consequences, saying that some people were more serious than you, but they persisted in the end, giving those desperate people the last hope and courage, so that they could go through their last days optimistically and lie in good faith.
Next, I will make a concluding statement on our position.
First: White lies are out of goodwill, with the purpose and starting point of safeguarding the interests of others. As we all know, contradictions can be divided into universality and particularity, and particularity is contained in particularity and different from universality. The essence of a white lie determines that it is not a bad benefit, but is based on sincerity and kindness in the heart, while a malicious lie is an act of seeking benefits for the liar, which only regards others as a means and does not hesitate to hurt others, with a strong desire for profit and weak rationality. The lies that people who are kind in themselves are "forced" to tell in a certain state are well-intentioned and a kind of friendliness and concern for the subject. However, unscrupulous people, no matter how to disguise, how to rhetoric, how to rack their brains to crown their malicious lies with malicious purposes. Obviously, a white lie does not hinder honesty.