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Marriage is a major event in life, especially for women, which means entering a new stage of life. But even today, when thinking keeps pace with the times, most of the roles played by women are forbearance, dedication, even submission and sacrifice.
There is often a saying about women, "It is better to marry well than to do well."
Many people think that as long as a woman has a good marriage, she will be guaranteed for life.
No matter from the social environment, family division of labor, or women's natural motherhood, or because they love men around them, many women always spend more than half of their energy and effort on their families, whether passively or actively. What's more, their husbands and children have occupied all of her.
Perhaps since girlhood, women have been fantasizing about the appearance of such a person, "avoid my surprise, avoid my pain, avoid my wandering around, and avoid my nowhere to live." Carefully collect and care like a treasure.
However, does such a perfect man's perfect marriage really exist? Is there a risk component in this? To gamble on luck, the environment is not good, and if something happens, who should rely on it? At that moment, where is your way out?
02
Ten years ago, Sister He was very attractive. In her early twenties, she is as beautiful as a hibiscus flower. Although she came to work in the city from the countryside, she had nothing but beauty, but she was chased by her divorced boss who was ten years older than her.
That kind of plot only exists in novels and TV series, and the overbearing president falls in love with me properly. Asking for money is romantic and omnipotent. She is very generous and considerate to her. She drives her back to her remote hometown from time to time and swears to her mother that she will be good to her all her life.
Even her neighbors got the gift he bought, and everyone praised her, saying that Sister He really fell into the honey pot, which was a blessing for eight generations.
He Jie was really moved by a man with such good conditions. Ten years older is nothing, and second marriage is nothing. Soon, I was with him.
Sister He doesn't have to go to work anymore, because he gives her enough pocket money every month, much more than she can earn. She lived to be a full-time wife, playing mahjong, shopping, doing beauty, dressing herself up more beautifully, enviable, and carefree to the point of boredom.
Only after she got married did she know that her husband was actually very bad-tempered, masculine and uncompromising. Although he is rich, he started from scratch and his family is reluctant to hire a nanny. He Jie does all the housework. Sister He didn't feel tired either, thinking that if she hadn't married him, she wouldn't know where to work.
Although Sister He has time and money, she doesn't intend to enrich herself, learn something, or do business in her husband's company.
She is used to being extravagant, and she doesn't know how to save some money or do investment and financial management. Anyway, besides shopping, her life is shopping. Before the money was used up, her husband hit her card again.
When the child was one year old, her husband cheated on her and was still with her best friend. She soon found out that she was like a bolt from the blue, her heart kept sinking and the whole world collapsed.
She was bloody, made a scene and wanted to run away from home, but her husband was afraid that she would run away and took her bank card and even some valuable jewelry directly.
But where can she go? She doesn't even know many people in such a big city. She wants to find a job, but what can she do? What can she do?
I thought her husband gave her the brightest shortcut, but suddenly I found that he could take it away at any time. She couldn't move when the road was cut off.
Sister He is still married. In her words, she has no future. She has no career, not even a job. If divorced, she will lose her excellent material conditions, lovely children, and face to return to her parents' home, which is really a step-by-step despair.
She can't think of a better way.
But since then, she has been disheartened and always has reservations about her husband. Let others hurt themselves, make noise, and have no choice. This is a bad state for a married woman.
A woman without a back road, with confidence and support by her own strength, will bear more grievances and compromises in reality.
03
God forbid, women are not strong, even in marriage, even if the years are stable, we must strive to make ourselves better. We can't lose our hobbies, have friends to talk to, have places to go, and have our own material and spiritual independence.
Of course, none of these can replace a happy marriage.
In normal times, it may seem less important, just icing on the cake. But when you are in trouble, emotional confusion or even crisis, it is enough to give you the courage to smile and support you through the most difficult days. Looking back when you are injured, you may not have no road under your feet, nor may you be less desperate.
My cousin likes painting since she was a child. She went out to work early because of family reasons. In the factory, she is the most agile worker and gets the most salary and bonus. But she never gave up her hobby. As long as she has time, she will continue to paint and enjoy it.
When you are alone, even the most difficult dreams are easy to stick to, but after you have a marriage and family, you will be troubled by the triviality of daily necessities and family chores.
Cousin's marriage life is not smooth, and her brother-in-law treats her well, but she gave birth to three daughters in just a few years, and her in-laws are unwilling to help with the children.
Cousin had to resign, take care of her daughter while setting up a stall, and do a lot of housework when she went back, so tired that she didn't even have the strength to quarrel with her husband.
Life is tight, the couple's feelings are dull, and the children are noisy, but the cousin still draws at random. Sometimes my brother-in-law will blame her for doing those useless things!
Later, my cousin got a uterine tumor, and the relationship between husband and wife became even colder, even to the point of divorce.
During that time, it was the most difficult day for my cousin. She went back to her hometown to recuperate. As soon as I heard that, I knew she was under great pressure, so I went to see her at once.
Unlike what I expected, my cousin is not pessimistic at all. She is not troubled by her emotional difficulties or illness. She is as talkative and laughing as before, and brought back a lot of painting materials. She draws two pictures whenever she has time, or learns skills from friends who draw pictures online.
Two years ago, my cousin, who had not been to work for a long time, found her first job after giving birth to a child, which was in a studio. The salary is ok, much better than when she worked. Most importantly, this is what she loves, and the road will be wider and wider in the future.
When the painters from the ivory tower around knew her experience, they all sighed and were deeply impressed.
Cousin and brother-in-law later got back together. My cousin's income has become the pillar of the family. After the ups and downs, her temperament is more refined and clear, because she has the brightest sunshine in her heart and her feet have been going their own way. And none of this can be given by others.
04
Happy marriage and filial piety are the wishes of all women.
Some people pin all their hopes on men, thinking that as long as they find a good partner, they can rely on it all their lives, as long as they keep up with his footsteps and coquetry. Some people do their best for their families, thinking that as long as they sacrifice enough, they will be moved by everyone.
When you love, you devote yourself wholeheartedly. Who hasn't said vows of eternal love?
If you are in full bloom, the breeze will come, but the beauty of a woman is really short-lived Will those hands that pick small flowers be full of affection and tenderness forever?
Human nature is complex and life is trivial. If you don't have your own luster, it will fade faster.
Maybe a man can give you sincere love and food, clothing, housing and transportation, but how much luck does it take?
There is either a lot of money or a lot of love. Yi Shu's words are also willful. In reality, ordinary women get neither much money nor much love.
Even if it is dull, it can't be a legend, but we can do our best to make ourselves better, grow constantly, have our own life track, and have different gains every day. No one can give you this.
When a woman enters a marriage, don't forget the road she has taken. Whether you find a good home or a love life, it is a long story. Remember, every step, the most practical footprint, is always on yourself.
When you are truly independent and have strength, you don't have to be afraid of prosperity and adversity. They are all landscapes of life.