Reading comprehension: I read the case of rational emotional therapy: in rational emotional therapy, the counselor is a mentor, persuader, analyst, authoritative information provider and debater who faces the irrational thoughts of the seekers, and he plays an active role. For visitors, the unreasonable emotions that have plagued her at present may have been with her for a long time, and this concept will not be improved instantly because of a temporary epiphany. Of course, epiphany itself is a very difficult thing. Therefore, counselors should take active guidance to achieve better curative effect. Counselors should give full play to and mobilize the cognitive functions of themselves and the help seekers, point out the unreasonable cognitive styles of the help seekers through logical analysis, and guide them to learn to replace them with new and reasonable cognitive styles. In the treatment, the psychological counselor did not give too much affection and encouragement to the help seekers, nor did he let the help seekers vent their emotions. Psychological counselors have always been in a very realistic and objective position, and guiding the seekers to think from this angle is the key to rational emotional therapy.
? Consultant: People have their own views on things, some are reasonable and some are unreasonable. Different thoughts may lead to different emotions. If you can realize that your current emotional state is caused by some unreasonable ideas in your mind, then you may be able to control your emotions.
Helper: Will this happen?
……
Counselor: Do you mean that your husband must love you as much as you love him?
Visitor: Yes, he must and should.
Helper: Because he is my husband, I should be rewarded.
Consultant: Why? Because he is your husband, he must love you.
Helper: You seem to be defending him. Did he do this to me?
Counselor: This is not a question of who to defend, nor is it reasonable or unreasonable. You can hope that he loves you. In fact, many people have such hopes, but you can't ask him to love you, because it is too difficult to do so. Facts have proved this. See, this is the problem. Because you have such a necessary requirement and it is difficult for him to achieve it, so you will be like this.
Helper: Yes, if I hadn't asked for it on my own initiative, it might not have happened, but I still can't give up.
……
Counselor: Let's assume that a man is in love with you and is good to you, but you don't love him. This is very likely to happen, right?
Assistant: Yes, I do.
Consultant: How did you do it? Like he did to you?
Helper: No, I finally left him.
Consultant: Why?
Helper: because there is no reason to ask, I must love him, I can't.
……
Counselor: There is a "golden rule" about interpersonal communication, that is, "treat others as you want them to treat you". With unreasonable beliefs, this rule is used backwards. We call this idea "anti-golden rule", that is, how I treat others, others should treat me. This is an unreasonable belief in people and an absolute requirement, because we can't ask others to do something for us. If you keep thinking like this, you will get more and more annoyed.
Helper: That's true. It seems that I really shouldn't have such an idea ...
Counselor: Look at your unreasonable idea again. That was for others just now, and this is for myself. Who says you shouldn't have such an idea? We all have similar ideas, but we should learn to turn what we "must" and "should" do to ourselves or others into "hope" or "want". In this way, when something we don't want or don't want happens, our emotions are just disappointment, not too strong resentment against ourselves or others.