How to Educate Children: Pay Attention to the Cultivation of Mind —— Professor Yu Dan from Beijing Normal University

As an experiencer and disseminator of China culture, Yu Dan, a cultural scholar, is a guest in A Journey to Civilization and tells his growth story. How did her father's persuasion affect her when she was a child? Now, as the mother of her six-year-old daughter, how does Yu Dan educate her daughter? What's Yu Dan's opinion about the Olympic math classes, English classes, summer study abroad classes and various interest classes that parents enroll in today's society to make their children successful? In the future, middle school students must have standardized training, rigor and logic. Because the mental development of middle school students basically tends to adults, they begin to have a lot of judgment ability. However, it is very important for a person to have a certainty about his dignity and freedom from kindergarten to primary school. These are the first educations completed at home. First, because the school cannot complete the education of a child's complete personality and quality. Second, schools cannot fully develop a child's mind and attitude. Schools can give children a good knowledge system. However, the school has no obligation or commitment to say: what an excellent person I have trained this child. How about I develop his mind? This is not the whole obligation of school education. If your parents' expectations are too high, you may end up disappointed. We have too many children who have realized their hopes and wishes for their parents. In fact, we should do a good job in family education. It is a process to determine a child's character from kindergarten to primary school. First, they should be happy and trust, and you should make him feel that he has self-esteem, dignity and freedom. These are not begging. The cultivation of educational mentality and attitude is not something that schools can do, nor can they complete. Only the education system has been completed. Mind is a matter of will, ambition, mind, mind and temperament. Mind cultivation: in the final analysis, whatever you do is successful or not. Mainly depends on what kind of heart. Sometimes an idea can decide everything about you. Everyone will have this experience: if you are determined to do something, you will go all out in the process of doing it, do your best, not afraid of difficulties, stick to it to the end, and most of the results will be successful; If you waver from the beginning, can't do it, or think that you can't do it, you will lack energy in the process of doing it, and you will easily be out of breath and give up halfway, and most things will not be done. So Tolstoy said, "Determination is strength, and confidence is success." This is why Austin said, "There is no failure in this world except psychological failure." Doing one thing is like this, and so is life. Only those who think they can win, and only those who think they can be great can get what they want. Spiritual energy determines all aspects. For example, the mind determines academic success. "If you don't learn, you can't be versatile. If you don't want to learn, you can't learn." (Zhuge Liang) As long as we solve the problem of kindness-enthusiasm, interest and will for learning, we can learn automatically and actively from "I want to learn" to "I want to learn", which will be particularly prominent in learning. Generally speaking, successful family education, school education and self-education have done a particularly good job in developing spiritual energy. Those great masters, whose parents' education is not high, spend less energy on tutoring, have no "accompanying students" and no tutors, why can they be very successful? The reason is that they have developed children's mental energy and cultivated their ambition, interest, self-confidence and will. Romain rolland said: "The biggest reason why adults are slowly eliminated by the times is not the increase of age, but the decline of learning enthusiasm." Enthusiasm and upward spirit are the most important motivation for learning. Without this enthusiasm and spirit, without the heart to learn, it is impossible to continue learning and lifelong learning. The reason why young people are regarded as the most energetic people is the hope of the whole society, which lies in their hearts and spirits. When many people are young, they are full of longing, hope and positive enthusiasm. But after some setbacks, their hopes, expectations and motivation to learn are gone. Especially after marriage, I lost hope for myself and pinned all my hopes on my children. This is why parents are particularly willing to invest in their children's education, but they are unwilling to invest in themselves. It's all because I lost my mind. As the saying goes, "bereavement is greater than heart death, and human death is second." When the heart dies, people are finished. Many adults are dead to themselves. No wonder Qian said angrily that anyone over forty should be shot. Although the words are extreme, they are quite reasonable. How can an adult with a dead heart continue to study and study for life? Mentality not only determines the success of study, but also determines the success of career. We should cultivate children's spirit of caring for each other. It is a better environment for children to grow up in the crowd. Cultivate their compatibility. Because this can cultivate children's creative happiness-just play and be happy. There is also the happiness of dependence, but you may be much happier if you buy the luxury you like. However, all your happiness is dependent; You will know that one day you will be deprived of these pleasures. So how can we make ourselves happy to the highest level? Then only the happiness you create. Teacher Yu Dan told another story here: When Lin Yutang wrote Su Dongpo's Biography, he gave Su Dongpo an evaluation. He called him a "hopeless optimist". Because this man was happy when he lived a good life in Suzhou and Hangzhou, but he was still happy when he was exiled to the ends of the earth. He said, "I hate spending the rest of my life in the wilderness." He said that this place has a good scenery and I can go to play. Then he said, "300 lychees a day are too lazy to grow into Lingnan people." He said I don't want Dongpo elbow if I have lychee to eat. He said: "It's a fine day and the moon is bright, that is, when the mid-autumn chrysanthemum blooms, it's the Double Ninth Festival." There is a moon to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival, and chrysanthemums to celebrate the Double Ninth Festival. I celebrate this festival every day. Actually, it depends on whether he is heartless or not. But people can be so optimistic. This man is where he was transferred. He said: "This peace of mind is my hometown." My heart can settle here. This is my hometown. Lin Yutang said that this person is really necessary! We believe that this state is optimistic, and poverty, disease, torture and even death cannot be deprived. How delightful it is.