In high school, I sat behind L.

I wonder how the teacher arranges the seats.

L is a head taller than me, and straightens his back as soon as he attends class, occupying my sight.

I used to secretly stick it with a ruler in class, which is really the kind of direct stick.

He became angry from embarrassment: "Zhang, what are you doing? ! "

I reluctantly took back my hand holding the ruler: "Don't turn your head, listen carefully, the teacher is watching."

He snorted: "Are you all bored?"

Me: "You mean this class? Very boring. "

He laughed at the profoundness of China culture.

The eyebrows are curved, which is very nice.

He said, "Zhang, you have a thick skin."

Oh, not to make the profoundness of China culture laugh.

It made me laugh impudently.

002.

I am very serious in class.

I heard that boys are the most handsome when they are serious.

Unfortunately, I sit behind him and have never seen him in class. But I often see the girls in the front row look back at his infatuation, and my heart is extremely uncomfortable.

I told the class teacher that I wanted to change seats with L, and I made up an excuse: "L is too high, blocking my view of the blackboard."

Our head teacher is very kind. She didn't explore the curiosity and courage of a student who plays tricks in class every day and returns to the bottom of the exam, so she immediately helped me change my seat.

So the next day, I sat on the Feng Shui throne near the podium.

From then on, I began a long-distance relationship with L.

Um ... Long-distance relationship.

I cried and asked the class teacher to change back to my original seat.

The head teacher smiled calmly: "What? Don't think I will stop you this time.

I sincerely said, "A nest of gold and silver is not as good as one's own kennel. I found that the original seat was still good. "

The head teacher just laughed: "Zhang, don't think that I can't see your thoughts. Tell you what, if you get 20 points in the midterm, I'll transfer you back. "

I'll tell l about it.

He said, "The head teacher wants you to sit on the podium all the time."

I was so angry that I blew my beard and stared: "Do you think that even if I do well in the exam, the old class will not change seats?"

He couldn't bear to look at me, slowly packed his schoolbag and carried it on his shoulder. "I don't believe you will do well in the exam."

Stop. This man ...

Why are you so handsome!

003.

Winter in the north is particularly cold, which is the kind of cold that can spit out ice foam when sneezing.

When I was still sitting behind the L, I often felt threatened by nature.

The wind at the back door filled my neck with snow residue like a leak.

I kicked the chair L: "You go and close the door."

He squinted at me with the end of his eyes: "Go by yourself."

Actually, it's very cold, with its neck narrowed like a quail.

At that time, I used to play games and pretend to be affectionate: "OK, I'll go. Sweetheart, I will do anything for you. "

He trembled with nausea and his expression was thunderous.

"I'll go."

Later, I found this routine very accurate.

When I say "little LL".

His face was black: "Zhang, talk to people."

"I'm thirsty. Get me a glass of water."

He glared at me viciously. Under my smiling gaze, he picked up the kettle on my desk and said to himself, "Just this once."

He always says that. It's a bit like breaking glass.

L looks good and studies well, but he doesn't like to talk much.

I am addicted to bullying him.

But then I accidentally fell in love with him.

004.

In fact, there is really nothing good about going back to the original seat.

L is the team leader. Every time I collect my homework, I am the first to turn around and collect mine.

I wailed: "Team leader L, don't force me, force me to exert myself, but I can do anything!" " "For example, slap him.

L gave me a faint look: "Can I do my homework?"

I was choked by this sudden cold humor. I shouted, "Don't be so stubborn ... give in and be a man so that we can meet again."

He smiled and said, "Then don't leave that deadly line."

Hate, or you are cruel.

No matter how bad that seat is, I've been thinking that L is around.

005.

I really like l.

Dead skin likes it shamelessly

My best friend commented that I have three products: no head, no skin, no face and no heart.

I praised her for her incisive summary, and she deserves to be a good friend.

The word dog licking was not popular at that time.

Later, when I learned that this group was widely spurned by the public, my first reaction was to sit in the right place. I don't know if I regret it. I'm happy to lick it.

My friend said I was hopeless, and she suggested, "Just lick a few more, and you will get double happiness."

I am unhappy: "But there is only one L in this world ..."

There is only one, and he doesn't love me yet.

006.

Once it rained, I didn't bring my umbrella.

He stood in front of the rain curtain with a rare sadness in his brow.

I jumped in front of him and said, "It's raining. Let me lend you my umbrella."

He gave me a look and probably wanted to say no. But hesitated: "What about you?"

L Watch me have a good rest and use an umbrella to block the words I didn't say and go home.

I cocked my head and smiled. "I can wave back."

L froze, paused, smiled, and drowned his dark eyes like a rainstorm. It's beautiful.

"No need." He said, "I can wave, too."

His figure was quickly erased by the rain.

007.

For a time, I had a dream over and over again.

The dream is a day in the middle of winter in high school, and I am sitting alone in the classroom.

The scene in the dream is very vague, and the only clear thing is the moment when L opens the door and enters the classroom.

-The fluttering snowflake was obvious at the door, but it was trampled by the teenager who entered the door.

As I have said Qian Qian a thousand times, I am very happy: "You are back."

He drilled a well. A thin layer of snow melts on the beautiful facial features.

The sadness of the painful literature of youth and the warmth of returning home at night are snowing in my chest.

When I woke up, my tears came down.

007.

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this in the middle of the night.

The young man's slight smile, deliberate indifference and helpless eyes are more and more clear in his mind.

After the separation, I actually hated that grinning self. I always feel that some words are not clear and some things are not finished. Why did you just say I love you?

My face is too big. I don't think I'll meet anyone who likes him as much as I do, so I think he lost.

However, I lost him, and so did I.

Both lose.

008.

On the day of the college entrance examination, I confessed to L.

I said, "You must make a decision between Zhang and me!"

He grinned awkwardly.

I was just about to change the subject and make a joke. He said, "Can't you choose both?"

I reacted for two seconds, and the surprised bear hugged him: "You are greedy, but I forgive you."

He was staggered by me, and his eyebrows soon wrinkled. At that moment, his expression instinctively showed resistance and boredom.

Unfortunately, I was carried away by joy and turned a deaf ear to all his bad things.

009.

I was very happy in those years when I was with L.

He was admitted to a good school, which is far from my university.

Even so, we are still in a sticky relationship.

The real contradiction broke out after he worked.

I studied medicine. He studied in the university for six years before he graduated. At that time, I had worked in a small company for two years.

I just got an internship with a low salary. I work from nine to five.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you can say anything disgusting. Although I often call a spade a spade to doubt my gender, he will chuckle after I speak shamelessly.

The sound is very vague through the mobile phone.

But once I live together, I can't say these messy words.

More problems are exposed.

As a doctor, L doesn't like his endless staying up late and irregular diet. Every time I eat instant noodles and order takeout, I frown and give me a well-meaning education.

He is a neat freak. He doesn't like my habit of packing. He doesn't like me washing clothes the next day. He doesn't like me hoarding garbage for a few days and then throwing it away. He doesn't like me touching his things, even if I'm not careful.

At first, I will smile and nod: "OK, OK. Everything the doctor said is right. "

But then, I was tired, too.

We will argue endlessly.

I am particularly wronged. I left home for L and rented a house near his hospital.

His salary is low and he can't make ends meet. I slipped the money to the landlord and asked him to help him act, pretending that the house price was very low.

In order not to let him eat takeout full of bacteria, I learned to cook.

At that time, youth literature was particularly popular, and girls secretly loved boys for practicing eighteen martial arts for each other. I suffer greatly from it, and think that loving someone means giving wholeheartedly, regardless of the return.

So everything revolves around him.

Contradictions are piling up. My loneliness has also been crushed to the ground.

One day, I suddenly realized that I am not a nanny. Fuck you, I quit.

0 10.

a little spark can cause a conflagration; a single spark can start a prairie fire

My weak protest against l is getting bigger and bigger every day.

Many articles write the breakup with regret and nostalgia. Either by accident, yin and yang are separated. Either you accidentally missed it, Tianya Haijiao.

In fact, the real breakup is just an ordinary moment when you suddenly find it unworthy. You still have your own life, there is no need to stick to a tree, commonly known as a change of heart.

I brought it up first.

He argued with me for half an hour about whether the dishes were washed tonight. Finally, as usual, he said, "Zhang, if you do this again, let's break up."

He used to say. At that time, I still liked him and kept giving up.

But that day, I said with a straight face, "OK."

He was surprised, but didn't panic, as if he had expected this day long ago.

0 1 1.

I have been depressed since I broke up with L.

To be melodramatic, l is half of my youth.

With the help of my friends, I chose another life.

I'm very busy, company, gym, foreign language class 3: 1. Then I traveled around and met people from all walks of life.

I was tanned by the sun in the northwest, and my teeth sparkled when I smiled. In order to cut my hair short, my friend dialed my broken hair with satisfaction: "Short hair suits you very well."

I heard from a friend that L has been promoted since he became a frequent visitor. Now he is a famous doctor, because he never exaggerates his illness, and he is serious and rigorous, which is very popular with patients. The most important thing is that people are good-looking, have high wages, have been single, and have been matched by various aunts and grandmothers.

My friend paused meaningfully when he said that he had been single, as if waiting for my response.

I am calmly sorting out what I need for my trip without blinking.

The friend smiled: "Zhang, you have changed a lot."

I said, "When I was in Tibet, I met a father who had just lost his daughter. His daughter was in a car accident. In the morning, she was angry because her father didn't give her money to buy a doll, and at night she became a dumb corpse. My father told me that he especially regrets it now. Why didn't he buy her a doll with tens of dollars? So he came to Tibet and heard that the gods here can make the dead hear the words of the living. Do you know what I am thinking? "

"I think I've been melodramatic long enough, and it's time to live for myself. Otherwise, who knows when something will happen to me, and I will not regret it. "

My friend looked at me for a long time and sighed, "Do you know why I asked you to go out for a walk?"

0 12.

When I got home, I was disinfecting our new home.

He saw me: "Help me put on my gloves."

I gave him a light yellow latex glove and put an iron ring on his sleeve.

We got the certificate last year. When he heard that I had returned from my trip, he sent me a message asking me how I was doing.

I said, keep pretending. Little e told me everything.

Little e is my friend who used to listen to my stories about Tibet. She is a spy sent by l.

E said: I thought something was wrong between you for a long time. You have never given anything, but you have closed yourself up day by day. I'm afraid that one day you will abandon him sooner or later.

Me: So he broke up first?

E: He wants to be apart for a while so that you can find yourself again. So he kept contacting me, asking me to watch you and give you travel advice, and he asked me to give it.

Me: What do you mean by looking for yourself? What is wrong with me?

E chuckle: I told me that you used to be arrogant in front of him, but then you became cautious. And didn't you notice that you didn't contact us during that time, I was afraid you would be autistic.

At the end of the memory, l turns on the sprayer and the gear rotates in a low voice.

His expression was calm, just like when I went to see him, as if I knew I would always come back after a walk.

I always thought that he didn't love me, but reluctantly agreed to stay with me, so he was impatient, critical, indifferent and even broke up without a wave. Now I know that he loves me as his own.

I hope I can become better, not just an accessory of him, let myself grow up and be myself again.

I'm glad I didn't think about cherishing it when I lost it.