Anyway, the problems encountered in Qian Qian are absolutely impossible, and I don't care about this one. Stumbling forward with confusion. Not to the point of "having to face", try not to think about it.
This way looks, as if it is very negative. But in fact, many of us are using it unconsciously. It will not be the enemy until the problem "suddenly comes".
According to the previous knowledge and experience, think and deal with this problem by yourself. Sometimes, problems can be solved because knowledge and experience are enough to deal with them. But for most people, I still can't figure it out after thinking about it.
Looking for relevant information through the internet and books, but the information is often very complicated and uneven in quality. You may be attracted by other "fresh" things before you find the answer to the question and forget what information you are looking for.
Asking classmates, colleagues, friends, seniors and colleagues can often get the most direct, fastest and most pertinent answers, which has become the first choice for many people to ask questions.
So, here's the problem. Why ask a senior, a cow and a big coffee, and the other person's answer is always cold? Are they too busy? Are they cold? Maybe the real problem is that you ask questions in the wrong way.
Why use the word "bureau"?
"Bureau" stands for "situation". Many times, we can't do a thing well because we don't understand the situation clearly. Not knowing your environment, role, orientation, tasks and goals leads to a vague sense of space, boundaries and goals, and it is easy to screw up one thing.
When we ask questions to others, we should remember the following points, think carefully and always remind ourselves.
A thorough understanding of these key points will make us always aware of our situation and firmly remember our role orientation and mission objectives, so as to get twice the result with half the effort.
What kind of questions make people unwilling to answer?
What kind of questions are people willing to answer?
There are four standards for reference.
As I said before, the relationship between the two sides in asking questions and consulting is not equal. The questioner's posture should be low, modest and respectful.
Some questioners have a vague sense of interpersonal boundaries, ask questions directly, and use words like questioning, almost in an imperative tone. This way of asking questions is definitely uncomfortable.
The process of dealing with people is the aftermath of our ancestors. Unpleasant people can't push things forward.
The questions raised are closely related to the other party, and they are areas that the other party is good at and capable of answering.
Two days ago, I read an article about the summary of frequently asked questions about social security, which was published by the official account of human resources WeChat. I guess I combed it out from the internet, too
Then I saw many people asking in the comment area: I changed my job in a city, can I renew my social security? How to continue? What information do you want? What effect will it have if it is interrupted? Wait a minute.
When they asked questions, did it ever occur to them that I might be a text organizer, neither an expert in social security nor a policy maker of relevant institutions? Can he answer this question? Can you answer accurately?
If you have time to leave a comment, it is better to call the national unified consultation telephone number of social security, or go to the local social security bureau for consultation yourself, and the probability of getting an effective and accurate reply is higher.
The questions raised are vague and not specific, which is a major mistake that 90% questioners will make.
For example, someone asked me if I could recommend some books related to study.
If I was busy at that time, I might just throw away one or two titles that popped up in my mind.
But if I take a responsible attitude, I will ask:
What does learning-related specifically mean? Why do you suddenly want to see this content? What's the problem? Is there no motivation to learn? Or are you not paying attention to your studies? Or did you forget it soon after you finished learning it? Or is there no movement transformation after learning? What problem do you want to solve?
The more specific the question, the more targeted the books I recommend, and the more practical help I can give you.
But if we don't know each other, I really don't have much time and energy to help you "redefine the problem", help you "classify the problem" and help you "find the root cause problem". I'm so tired.
That's why when you ask a simple question, you usually get a simple answer.
Why do you expect others to seriously think about a problem that you haven't seriously thought about yourself?
What is a good question? In the book "Learn to Ask Questions", it is said that questions that can make interviewees willing to answer without thinking and bring them new discoveries are quality questions.
The so-called value is your problem, which can inspire each other. Maybe the other party hasn't thought about this question before. This is a good angle of thinking.
People who can ask such questions are usually people who have done a lot of preparatory work, and the final answer will not be too bad.
To sum up:
Who is this man? How rude. What does this question have to do with me? Why do you ask me? This question is so broad. What question does he want to ask? Didn't I say this in XX books/articles?
In that 80%, the reply you get is just a few simple words, or even no reply.
This man is very modest and polite. I know this question very well. It's really great and has a unique thinking angle. I want to think about how to answer.
Well, congratulations. The other party will be happy to share their experiences and ideas with you.
1. Search for relevant information online first. Without a certain amount of information, it is absolutely impossible to ask good questions. If you are asked a question on the topic of "blockchain" now, you will definitely be forced to ask: What is blockchain?
2. Find the core problem through thinking. According to the collected information, list the questions you want to ask and ask yourself, why do you want to ask this question? Can you be more specific? What is the core question?
3. Find the right person who can help you solve your doubts. If you are a public figure, you can search his published articles online. Look at the relevant questions and see if he is good at it and interested.
4. Try to think or practice first. Think and summarize yourself first, or practice some methods before asking questions. The other party will be more willing to answer when they see your seriousness and dedication, and the answers they get will make you more impressed.
Specific contents may include:
1. Polite language. At the beginning, your salutation and self-introduction are aimed at interrupting and apologizing for "taking up the other party's time to answer your questions"; Tell the other party to "reply at your convenience" to reduce the psychological burden of the other party; I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to "If the other party is willing to reply to your question".
2. Go straight to the point and say the question. Explain the background, what specific obstacles and puzzles have you encountered? What do you hope to achieve by asking questions? What specific problem do you want to solve?
Don't throw out all the puzzles and problems at once, which may turn into complaints and venting. The other party doesn't know whether you want to vent your emotions and get comfort, or just answer your question on one point. So the last sentence must be summarized. What questions do you want to ask?
3. What did you do for it? What efforts have you made on this issue? What information have you searched? What are your own thoughts and ideas? What methods have you practiced?
Usually, the more you work hard on this question, the more you pay attention to it, and the other person will answer you more responsibly and seriously. On the contrary, if you do nothing, you are just the one holding hands, and the other person will naturally ignore it.
Give a simple example.
Dear Mr. X (you can be called a teacher when asking for advice), hello, I'm XX (needless to say the name, just the relationship between you, for example, I'm a fan of your readers). Recently, I want to know something about knowledge management systematically (directly explain my purpose and goal). I paid attention to and analyzed the 12 books on knowledge management that you listed on Douban. They are: ... (explain what you have done for this and explain the background information of your question, that is, the book list). I want you to recommend a classic book or an introductory book from this 12 book, so that I can have a general understanding of knowledge management, ok? (I ask a very specific question, and the other party can choose one directly from 15, which is easy to answer. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to reply to my question. I look forward to your reply very much.
No one likes to have too much contact with an ungrateful person. There is an emotional account between people.
There are two kinds of sincere feedback:
1. Immediate feedback. Thank you immediately after receiving the other party's reply, because the other party has spent time and energy on you at the moment, and he has no obligation to do it.
2. Action feedback. According to the other party's reply, you took action, and the result of the action was not bad. Give it back to the other party, and he will be very happy. For example, the other party recommended a good book, and after you placed an order to buy and read the book, you benefited a lot. Share your harvest and joy with each other, and he will be happy to answer your questions in the future. After all, people are happy to share with people who can listen to their own suggestions.
A good question can not only help you get a good answer, but also help you do better in these three aspects:
A good way to ask questions can leave a good impression on people: polite, studious, enterprising, thoughtful and clear in logic. The better impression others have on you, the more willing they are to give you help and opportunities in the future.
If you master a good way of asking questions, you won't become a promotion party. You will actively search for information according to your own goals, actively think about problems, and even actively practice some methods. This independent consciousness and attitude will gradually shape your independent ability.
In the era of information explosion, the competitive advantage is no longer the ability to remember and recite knowledge, but the ability to search and mine information, and asking questions is the best information excavator. Good questions can help us get all kinds of ideas and wisdom from different people and make our study and thinking more efficient. In this era, only by learning and integrating the wisdom of others can we go faster and further.
"Learning to Ask Questions" said: "Asking questions is just an opportunity, and what is accomplished is to discover yourself. It is because of what you have thought that you can have a deep understanding of discovery; It is precisely because you think that action can become what you really want to do. "
We must realize that:
By asking questions, help us find our blind spots and realize the real key problems. The process of finding this key essential problem is more important than the problem itself.
Asking questions makes our goals clearer and our minds clearer. Only by polishing the key questions sharply enough can we hit the nail on the head and find the answers we want in life.