It is the creed of many men to change the husband's concept of "men are in charge of the outside and women are in charge of the inside", which is also in line with people's traditional concept. They feel that they are the pillar of the family, as long as they earn money to support their families. In the eyes of some fathers, it is natural for a wife to undertake housework and childcare such as washing and cooking, picking up and dropping off children.
Because of this misunderstanding, many dads simply don't think they have the heavy responsibility of educating their children. They like to be "shopkeepers" and can throw their children to their grandparents. Throw it to mom if you can.
Fortunately, the society is becoming more and more open now, and many mothers have their own careers and jobs. Many fathers began to take the initiative to participate in family affairs, and washing and cooking is no longer a woman's patent. They are also willing to bear the heavy responsibility of raising children, and it has gradually become their duty to pick up and drop them off.
I have a classmate and two little boys at home. One is more than three years old, mainly responsible for taking care of. The other is over one year old, and his wife is mainly taking care of him. Although the family also invited a nanny to help, the task of accompanying and picking up children is mainly borne by parents.
Every time I go out, I see my father playing with his eldest son, and I can see that the eldest son is closest to my father. If dad is out of his sight for a while, he will cry for dad. What is even more surprising is that once we made an appointment to attend a lecture, that classmate came alone with his children. He listened carefully in the conference room, and the children were playing outside with the uncles and aunts of the conference group. After two hours of class, I saw him occasionally go out to see the children and then continue to come back to class.
Seeing this scene, I was also amazed at my father who thought he was very competent. In fact, there are more and more such good fathers around me. Therefore, mothers who are hard to change their husband's concept can completely let their husbands make more such good friends. By listening and listening, many changes in ideas will be gradually completed in a long-term subtle way.
2. Let her husband experience the fun of parenting.
Many times, husbands don't want to participate in the process of parenting. One of the most important reasons is that they seldom feel the joy of parenting, and they really think that educating children is a chore. They will never take the initiative to play unless they have to.
Before I had children, I was not a person who particularly liked children, and I was not particularly close to my nephews. At that time, I always felt that children were very troublesome. They have to eat and drink for a while, and then they have to change diapers. If they are not careful, they will make their children cry and make a scene. Many men should feel the same way before they become fathers.
But since Yi Yi was born, I seem to be a different person overnight, and I have become particularly fond of children. In the first few days of my life, I always liked to hold my children in my arms. I changed Yi Yi's first diaper, and I asked for it for the first time when she was drinking milk powder.
In the six years of growing up with Yiyi, I have gained too much joy. I have long regarded raising children as a very enjoyable thing. I will relax when I walk with my children almost every day, cheer when I play games with my children, and be very happy when I tell my children picture books.
The fun of parenting lies between gestures and life. Only when you devote yourself wholeheartedly can you feel it, and only when you feel it with your heart can you find it. As mothers, we should always share the joy of raising children with our father, influence him through our own words and deeds, and let the other half be infected gradually. At the same time, we should also take the initiative to help our husbands find happiness with their children, because men sometimes feel it when they know it.
3. Encourage her husband to learn and grow.
No one is born a parent. Both men and women need to gradually explore ways and means of educating children in the process of raising children. At the same time, we need to constantly learn scientific parenting knowledge to master children's psychology, be good at learning from other people's parenting cases to enrich parenting experience, and be brave in learning from other people's parenting lessons to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Fortunately, in the internet age, a large number of parenting information and learning materials can be said to be everything. There are educational communities or forums devoted to how to cultivate children, convenient and rich Weibo or blogs, and Baidu or Google that can catch the world.
At present, there are more and more public welfare lectures on parenting education, and free or paid courses are also being introduced. Of course, books related to parenting education are constantly being introduced, including a large number of books imported from abroad and many monographs by local professionals.
While studying, mothers should try to guide and encourage fathers to read more parenting books, listen to parenting lectures or courses, enter communities, forums or Weibo to discuss and interact, and collect parenting information online.
Of course, if the husband makes progress in attitude and behavior, the wife needs to give praise and affirmation frequently, and it is best to praise the husband's advantages through concrete examples in front of children or relatives and friends. No one will unreasonably refuse other people's praise and appreciation, and men are no exception.
After all, the husband is not a child. Even if some of his behaviors are not as happy as children's, don't yell at him, let alone swear for a while. This will not only keep him away from his children, but may even bring the relationship between husband and wife to a deadlock.
Everyone has dignity, let alone a man who loves face more. In particular, wives should not scold or beat their husbands in front of relatives and friends casually, which is the most taboo for many men. No matter how many mistakes your husband made outside, you should save him face and try to communicate calmly when you get home.
This year's Spring Festival, several old friends got together. In the hustle and bustle of everyone, a friend who likes drinking got drunk inadvertently, and after a long time, she began to talk nonsense at the dinner table. My wife couldn't help it, so she threw chopsticks at him, hoping to arouse his vigilance. I never imagined that this move made the whole table temporarily embarrassed, so I advised them one after another. Although I don't know how that friend feels, I have always felt that this practice is not very good. It is easy for men to be embarrassed in front of friends, and a little carelessness will lead to family conflicts and even domestic violence.
At the same time, mothers should pay more attention to maintaining dad's image and WeChat in children's minds. Generally speaking, in the eyes of children, dad is more authoritative. Moreover, this kind of WeChat is also essential in the process of educating children and can be used at critical times.
If the father feels that he has a certain position in the children's minds, keeps a WeChat and feels that he has a certain dignity and confidence in his wife's mind, they will be more willing to participate in the process of raising children and take the initiative to take care of the family.