1. One morning, my colleagues and I were smoking while waiting for the bus. There was a beautiful MM waiting for the bus while drinking soybean milk. Colleagues joked, Brother, where's your car? I said: I sent it to be repaired; The beautiful MM next to me gave me a serious look, and my colleague continued: What's the matter? I went on to edit and said, Isn't this the day? Please come out after dinner to catch up with a big rush. MM continue to listen carefully. Colleagues continue to pretend: Oh, how much is it? Otherwise, I will find someone for you in the 4S shop. I know some friends. I said: Oh, no, a pedal can be worth several dollars! ! MM soybean milk sprayed all over the floor. ...
2. The day after the earthquake, I had a voice chat with a netizen in Chengdu, and the chat was very high. Excited, I use QQ's window jitter function to express my feelings. There was a crash across the street, and then nothing happened. I "fed" for a long time, and the other party gasped and said, don't shake, brother. I thought there was another earthquake and I ran away in vain. My family lives on the ninth floor. ...
3. The taxi went to the radio and said, "Hello, I'm Christine, Christine!" . Driver master: "MD, you can stutter on the radio now!" " "
The boys will move to the apartment outside next semester. Let's put our things in the dormitory first, and then take them with us when school starts. I left some valuables with my girlfriend and packed two bags. My girlfriend lives on the fourth floor. When she took the first bag, I walked around bored. The housekeeper said kindly, "Go up and let others take it." I said, "That's not good." Menstruation said, "Just don't stay there too long." So I went up obediently. On the fourth floor, my girlfriend was coming out of the dormitory. She saw me nervously dragging me into the dormitory and said, "Why did you come in?"? Many people wash in the water room without wearing clothes. " I said, "No way ... look at the corridor and see if there is anyone. If not, I will rush out ... ". As soon as I opened the door, two fruit girls came in and screamed when they saw me. At the same time, their girlfriends said, "Turn around and let them get dressed …". Just after that, a group of fruit girls clamored to come in. "What's your name? Something! " The result was another shrill cry ... Then I covered my eyes and ran out. When passing by the boarding room, my aunt smiled kindly. "Don't wear clothes every day, give them some color to see see, huh!" "
A brother chases his girlfriend, and every morning he has a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted.
One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. His girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. "
He proudly said, "Of course I can't find it. I chewed it up ... "
6. On Valentine's Day today, a girl who has a crush on me for a long time called me: "Come to my house, no one!" I ran away with excitement! ! ! ! ! ! ! I knocked on the door for more than an hour and found that there was really no one. ...
7. Black, white, black, white, white, white, white, white and white
Someone is doing something.
A: Penguins roll down from the snow-capped mountains.
8. A senior climbed Huangshan Mountain this summer, and it rained. All valuables were wrapped in plastic bags and put in her backpack, except a bag of snacks.
I didn't expect to suddenly kill a monkey halfway. I looked at my elder sister for two seconds and decisively snatched the snacks. The teacher elder sister's face suddenly turned pale. . .
All comfort, nothing, nothing, just snacks.
Senior crazy shook her head and shouted: I just bought a ticket student ID card is still in the bag! ! ! ! !
It is said that ... the educational administration saw that the "reason for replacement" column on the application form was filled with "robbed by monkeys" and choked with internal injuries.
9. I went to elementary school and lied for the first time.
Once the school asked for money, my mother gave it to 100, but it was confiscated in the class that day. After school, I saw that there were snacks on the roadside, so I couldn't help but buy three yuan to eat.
After returning home, my mother asked, "Did you pay the money?"
"Confiscated today."
Mom: "Oh, what about the money?"
Take out the money: "Here you are!"
Mom: "How come there are 97 left?"
Bow your head: "Oh, I accidentally lost three dollars when I came back."
Mom smiled: ... the voice of ............. touched his face with his palm. ...........
10. Patients in the intensive care unit of a hospital always die around 11 o'clock on Sunday, which makes doctors very confused and even thinks that this is a supernatural phenomenon, so an expert group was set up to investigate the reasons. On Sunday, the clock just struck 1 1 point. Through the monitor, it was found that the cleaner who cleaned on Sunday walked into the intensive care unit, unplugged the wire plug of the life support system of seriously ill patients, then plugged in the vacuum cleaner and began to clean. . .
1 1. Patients in the intensive care unit of a hospital always die around 11 o'clock on Sunday, which makes doctors very confused and even thinks that this is a supernatural phenomenon, so an expert group was set up to investigate the reasons. On Sunday, the clock just struck 1 1 point. Through the monitor, it was found that the cleaner who cleaned on Sunday walked into the intensive care unit, unplugged the wire plug of the life support system of seriously ill patients, then plugged in the vacuum cleaner and began to clean. . .
It's good to read jokes when you are bored, have fun and enhance your sense of seclusion.