Mingming's parents and grandparents are very strange. Mingming is also very serious in class. Every time you do your homework right, ask immediately if you don't understand it. He should love studying very much. Why not study as hard as those children who don't like to ask questions?
Mingming's father listened to our freshman orientation lecture and felt that Mingming's situation was not quite right. He took out his test paper and read it carefully. Mingming's father found that Mingming made a lot of mistakes in Chinese and math, and the words he usually wrote were either more here or less there during the exam. For example, "day" should be written as "mouth" or "eye". In the math exam, the addition of single digits and homework are correct every time, but the exam is a lot wrong.
Dad wants to know why this happened. Dad went to the teacher again to find out the situation. The teacher's answer surprised him.
The teacher said that Ming Ming also likes to ask questions at school. As soon as the teacher finished the class, he continued to ask questions. But the problem is often irrelevant to the content of the class. For example, in math class, teachers use apples to represent numbers and teach children to calculate. Obviously, you will ask, is the apple delicious and where did you buy it? Then I began to say that my family also bought apples. When the obvious question is mentioned, other children say apple, which makes the teacher laugh and cry. In addition, when doing homework at school, it is obviously very slow, and I like to ask "how to write this word" while watching my deskmate's homework. The teacher reminded grandpa several times that he was easily distracted in class and didn't like to think independently. But grandpa doesn't care. He thinks it's a good thing that children like to ask questions.
Dad listened to the teacher and paid special attention to the questioning process between Mingming and Grandpa when he came home from work.
Mingming's father found that Mingming's questions were basically the answers to homework. Every time I do my homework, I will ask my grandfather immediately when I meet a problem that I can't solve, and grandpa will tell me the answer immediately. Over time, I obviously rely on my grandfather and don't want to think independently.
In class, Ming Ming's attention is not on what the teacher says. Because of these contents, he needs to think, understand and accept himself. He doesn't want to work hard. Just go home and ask grandpa. So I will ask a lot of questions in class that have nothing to do with the content of the class. When doing class homework, no grandpa asks, just ask the children at the same table.
Dad understands the reason why Mingming is behind in his academic performance, but he doesn't know how to solve it. He came to our studio with questions.
The problem of "asking questions" exists in children and many adults.
For example, there are clear instructions on how to fill in the personal information form. But some people will keep asking colleagues how to fill in this and that, and it is best to let others help him fill it out. There are many things, such as how to upload pictures, you can search online yourself, but someone will ask you again and again. If you show a little impatience, he will be angry and say that you are narrow-minded.
This, like Mingming, is a sign of special dependence and unwillingness to use one's own brains.
If the habit of "asking questions" is allowed to develop, not only will the study become worse and worse, but also the personality characteristics of strong dependence and inability to think independently will be developed. For Mingming, we must first distinguish the psychological needs behind Mingming's "love to ask questions".
Mingming's parents are very busy at work and spend little time with Mingming. Although grandpa is a teacher, his grandparents are old and only care about Mingming's food, clothing, housing and transportation, and have little time to talk to Mingming. Mingming is alone at home, no one talks, and he is very lonely. When he found out that he only asked questions, grandpa would be happy to talk to himself, so he obviously began to find all kinds of questions to ask. Homework questions are the easiest to find and grandpa is the most willing to answer them. Therefore, I especially like to ask homework questions, and slowly, I rely on my grandfather to answer them.
Behind the obvious "love to ask questions" is not only the lack of learning ability, but also the expression of willingness.
Mingming's parents should spend more time communicating with Mingming. If they are busy at work during the day, they should use their time at night. Spend half an hour before going to bed every day, chat with Mingming, let Mingming talk about his things at school, and mom and dad also talk about their things at work. In the process of chatting, you can let Mingming talk about his views on mom and dad's work and cultivate Mingming's ability to listen and think.
In addition, we should communicate with grandpa and let him make an agreement with Mingming.
Finally, if grandpa really wants to answer Mingming's homework questions, don't answer Mingming's questions directly as he used to teach students, but give Mingming some hints from the side: What plants do you think grass and flowers are? Seven plus five is the sum of more than ten. How does the teacher teach in class? Let's make ten first, shall we? ……
As long as the whole family changes their parenting style, pays attention to Mingming's emotional needs and guides Mingming to think independently, Mingming will soon change from "asking questions" to "asking questions".