competence
Ability includes all kinds of knowledge and skills training and all kinds of interactions with practice as the core. Self-awareness involves a correct assessment of self-strength and limitations. Besides, we should know the importance of self-attitude. People who have a negative attitude towards themselves often "let themselves down" or choose to avoid some interpersonal situations that may prove their negative self-image, which has a serious impact on psychological counselors. If we feel incompetent and worthless, we may convey this attitude to those who ask for help. If we have no confidence in our consulting ability, we will inadvertently guide the consulting process to meet our self-image or ideological needs, or to confirm our negative self-image.
Corey and others have pointed out that if you have a "fragile self", it is difficult to become a consultant with critical thinking and effective treatment ability. This is not to say that we can't feel self-doubt at some time, especially at the beginning of starting a new career. Self-doubt is normal. However, it must be emphasized that competence also includes when to seek supervision, consultation or peer support. Instead of being an invulnerable consultant, I need to be a consultant with broad and solid self-esteem, the ability to deal with complexity and discomfort, the flexibility and openness of thinking, the willingness to seek help from others when necessary, and continuous lifelong learning.
Critical thinking is a subtle and critical ability. Nixon pointed out that self-awareness is one of the three core understandings in critical thinking (the other two are the understanding of specific fields and the understanding of critical thinking itself). Self-cognition includes cognition of human reasoning process and conscious attention to self-reasoning process-for example, asking yourself "What do I believe and why do I believe this?" What prejudices or assumptions do I have in my work? Can you reasonably defend your position while taking into account other people's views? "
force
In the consultation process, power may be abused in the following different ways. First of all, a counselor may wish he could do anything. For him, only when he can control himself can he consult. Such a counselor may adopt different strategies to implement control, including persuading the helper to do what he asks (when the helper resists or hesitates, he feels sad or excuses) and leading the content and direction of the conversation. When a controlling consultant consults, it is more like a fierce power struggle with the helper.
On the contrary, some counselors may be afraid of power or want to deny the influential elements in helping others. These consultants inadvertently try to avoid the responsibility and participation of consulting as much as possible. They will avoid frank discussions about the roles or expectations of both parties and avoid expressing their views. There are many forms of power inequality (such as authority, resources and weakness) in the professional relationship between help-seeking psychological counselors and help-seekers. Denying or avoiding the recognition of power differences will limit the ability of consultants to deal with such differences honestly and beneficially.
Another power demand that may affect counseling but cannot be solved can be seen in "lifestyle changers" counselors. This kind of people have a very strong feeling about a particular way of life, and they will use their professional convenience to make helpers change their life or way of thinking in the direction they love. In this case, counseling has become a place for psychological counselors to express their opinions and vent their anger. Finally, as Woodman pointed out, it is easy for a consultant to indulge in the power to help others.
In fact, power is an inherent part of the relationship and process of helping others. Emphasize its influence because self-awareness should include understanding the subtleties of power and choosing to use it. For example, power can be distinguished by what has been achieved or acquired (for example, degrees obtained through education and displayed skills, etc.). ), or designated by something or "inherited" in a sense. The so-called designated power may come from a person's social structure characteristics or ancestry, such as gender, ethnic economic status, ability, sexual orientation or religion, which will affect consulting practice in various ways. The power in consultation exists not only at the personal level (that is, the problem between the therapist and the helper), but also at other levels, such as the organizational power of the consultant's institution, the management power related to the management institution, and the economic power related to insurance protection and medical management.
Interpersonal awareness and intimacy
As we all know, interpersonal habits, tendencies and consciousness constitute an important part of proper and effective consultation. It is natural that everyone's communication mode will have ups and downs. Counselors don't live in an isolated vacuum, but in their own interpersonal relationships, their own experiences, and the ups and downs of life! Our concern for interpersonal relationships, sensitivity to others' identification, emotional expression and comfort to authority are at different levels at different times. What is important is not to define what is absolutely right in a narrow sense, but to constantly conduct self-evaluation so as to adjust "surplus" or "deficiency" when necessary.
We illustrate the value of interpersonal consciousness by discussing an interpersonal model-intimacy. The intimate needs that counselors are unaware of will change the direction and process of counseling. Like power, it is inevitable to develop a certain degree and form of intimacy, and it is also an important part of negotiation. For example, imagine how much emotion a counselor needs to put into helping the seeker deal with painful experiences, loss, self-doubt and worry. Of course, there should also be room for personality differences. As we all know, some people are full of passion, such as "Mother Earth" or "Father Earth", while others are quite conservative when expressing their enthusiasm. It is very important to know the style of the counselor and the helper for accurately feeling and conveying feelings.
In clinical practice, there will be more extreme intimacy struggle. Some consultants who are rejected or very sensitive to criticism may take action to make customers accept and like them. For example, the counselor may avoid challenging or arguing with the helper for fear that he will not come again. In order to ensure that they are respected and loved, psychological counselors may secretly seek positive feedback from their clients. Because they don't want to hear the dissatisfaction of the help seekers, psychological counselors may also ignore all kinds of negative feedback information shown by the help seekers. Some psychological counselors have high personal needs for intimate relationships, and they may bring these needs into counseling and go beyond the boundaries that the helper feels appropriate or comfortable.
Another kind of psychological counselors are afraid of intimacy and emotional expression, or feel uncomfortable about it, so they will keep the relationship between the client and the patient too far away. Ignoring the positive emotional expression of the client, adopting rude, distant or indifferent behavior and treating the client in a rigid "professional role" will make the consultant avoid emotional intimacy in the relationship with the client. These reactions may interrupt the emotional expression of the helper, causing the helper to feel neglected or not understood.
Many of the above problems exist in human nature and interpersonal communication. In order to gain insight into our personal strengths and weaknesses in these areas, we must make constant efforts.