0 1
To say which country's parents have the greatest influence on their children's marriage, if China ranks second, no one dares to rank first.
Why? Because there are too many giant babies in China.
Many children rely on their parents to find jobs and buy houses when they grow up, and some even rely on their parents to arrange partners. As for parents taking care of their children after marriage, there are not a few.
Therefore, when young men and women in China get married, they usually can't just look at the person they are married to, but also look at their parents and family environment.
We often say that marriage is the union of two families, which is true.
Now there is a kind of marriage that is more difficult, that is, both husband and wife are giant babies, and the combination of two giant babies will inevitably form a giant baby-style marriage.
The biggest problem of giant baby is that he has no opinion and will not have the ability to solve problems, so giant baby often turns to the most trusted and capable party, that is, his parents.
If both husband and wife are like this, then their parents will come to power in person and tear each other apart.
02
My friend Lingling has been depressed recently, although to outsiders Lingling is a very lucky girl. As the saying goes, her life is very good.
Lingling is twenty-four years old. She is the only child in the family. Her parents both have jobs and businesses, so the economic conditions at home are not bad.
Lingling didn't study very well since she was a child, but her parents are very open-minded, especially Lingling's father, who is more open-minded and thinks that as long as the children don't study badly, they can do any work in the future.
Lingling was admitted to a junior college that year, and her parents tried to transfer her to a major with good employment. Lingling herself is quite competitive and has done well in her new major.
Lingling was only twenty-one years old when she graduated. Her parents used all available resources and contacts to arrange a job for Lingling.
Lingling has successfully found a job when her peers are humming resumes to find a job.
After work, Lingling's parents began to look for friends and relatives and arranged blind dates for Lingling. Many things happen. Less than three months after work, Lingling met her future husband, Xiaotian.
Then Lingling and Xiaotian dated for less than a year, and they got married.
Because of Lingling's parents' decision, Xiaotian was soon decided.
Lingling's parents analyzed Xiaotian, who is also the only child in the family. Her parents also have job and old-age insurance after retirement. Xiaotian's parents are part-time and have a relatively good family.
Isn't it popular to say that marriage means marrying a family with the same views? Lingling herself feels that her family environment is similar to that of Xiaotian, her growth experience is similar, and now her work income is similar, so she is also very satisfied with Xiaotian.
03
After they decided to get married, they began to buy a wedding room.
Xiaotian is not too old. She is four years older than Lingling. She was only 26 when she got married. After graduation, Xiaotian's salary was either bought from the East or given to his parents, so he didn't save any money after working for several years.
Besides, buying a house now depends on Xiaotian's income, so it will take more than ten years to pay the down payment. So naturally, Xiaotian's parents paid the down payment.
Xiaotian's parents are also very good. They paid a down payment and added Lingling's name. The down payment for a suite in a second-tier city is quite generous.
Xiaotian's parents feel bad about their son, so Lingling's parents will naturally feel bad about their daughter, so before getting the license, Lingling's parents also bought a house for her daughter, only writing her daughter's name and using her daughter's provident fund to borrow money.
Lingling's parents said to her son-in-law, "As long as you two live well, our real estate and property will be yours in the future. We just want this daughter, I hope you live well and treat her well. "
Xiaotian is naive and thinks it is difficult to live.
The good times didn't last long. When they got married and started a single life, all their previous shortcomings broke out.
Lingling doesn't like Xiaotian's incompetence and lack of opinions. What she can't stand most is that Xiaotian is actually a real mambo, especially listening to her mother-in-law.
Xiaotian also doesn't like Lingling's inability to do housework. She is very delicate. She only knows how to buy things all day. Lingling is also a real mother-in-law and likes to report their private affairs to her parents-in-law.
04
Arguably, it is normal for young couples to quarrel. After all, it was the running-in period, but two adults unconsciously got involved in the quarrel.
Once the parents of both sides went to war, their nature was different. The more they went to the back, the more fierce they quarreled, which gradually hurt the harmony between the two families.
However, the quarrel ended in a quarrel. Parents, including Lingling and Xiaotian, don't want a divorce. After all, it is not easy to find the other half of each other's conditions.
The current stalemate is that both parents want to fight for the right to speak for the young couple, and everyone wants the other parents to listen to themselves.
Lingling and Xiaotian quarrel all day and attack each other's parents if they don't agree.
In fact, the main contradiction between Lingling and Xiaotian is that they are eager to get married from their parents, but both of them can't cope with the life of being masters of their own house and having a separate family after marriage, so they often go on blind dates and then quarrel.
I'd say it's normal for two people to quarrel. Let's have a good fight behind closed doors, and then try to be independent first. Don't think of your parents every time you have something, let them fight for it themselves.
What if Ma Baonan and Ma Baonv don't grow up and have children in the future?
05
Giant babies always leave the comfortable life in exchange for mature thoughts and independent opinions.
So what should we do now? First buy food, cook, wash dishes and wash clothes, and then clean the house by yourself. Finally, no matter what problems you encounter in your work and life, don't think about going to your parents. Think about how to solve them first.
Parents' contacts and resources did not fall from the sky, but came out step by step. Aborting the giant baby and maturing at an early date is a powerful guarantee for a normal marriage.
As a person, we must learn to grow. Even if parents love themselves again, they will eventually grow old. Only when they are independent is the best explanation for their parents.
If the parents of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't let go, everything is involved in the children's affairs. In the final analysis, it is because the children are not mature enough, have not grown up, are used to relying on their parents, and their parents are not at ease, so they intervene in everything.
When parents are old, as children, they should understand their difficulties, take care of and support them, instead of an adult who has entered the society, taken part in work and got married, relying on their parents' protection and waiting for their parents to help solve their troubles.