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There is a strange phenomenon in China, that is, whether many people have a good relationship after marriage depends on the attitude of the families behind them.
I often hear women say that the bad relationship with her husband is because her mother-in-law is making trouble; Sometimes I hear from men that it is her mother-in-law who hates poverty and loves wealth and destroys her relationship with her wife.
Some girls even said that they married a great man, because this man has a great sister. ...
In short, talking about the relationship between a woman and her husband's family is really endless for three days and three nights.
Feifei is my best friend. When I was 26, I met my husband and fell in love with him. After a year of love, they decided to meet their parents.
Feifei is the only daughter in the family, and her parents have only one daughter. As long as the daughter likes it and the man has a good personality, parents think it is ok.
Feifei's husband also has a sister who is ten years older than her husband. It is said that her husband followed his sister more since childhood, so he listened to her more.
After they met their parents separately, both sides felt very satisfied.
Feifei's parents have jobs, only one child at home, and the family conditions are ok. After her parents retired, they had pension and social security, so the family burden was not heavy.
Although the husband's family is not good, it is also a filial family. He has a stable job and is honest, and Feifei's family agreed.
02
When they got married, they had already started buying a house. In order to reduce the pressure of mortgage after marriage, Feifei consciously asked the wedding not to be extravagant and wasteful, just a simple ceremony.
The two bought a house with a down payment, and both men and women paid a down payment. To calculate carefully, the woman is 20 thousand yuan more than the man's family.
When getting married, the woman didn't ask for any bride price, change her mouth fee and so on. Because the man's family condition is not good, Feifei's wedding expenses, catering and car rental are all paid by Feifei and her husband.
In Feifei's words, "I don't want to see my husband embarrassed, as long as they love each other, these can be ignored."
Although Feifei is an only child, she has been spoiled since childhood, but she is not sissy at all. The two rented a one-bedroom house after marriage, just to save rent and decorate the house.
Besides, Feifei is also frugal in her daily life, because she doesn't want to ask her parents for money after marriage, which is too slow.
So I got married for a year, finally closed the house and began to decorate it carefully.
Always shop around when decorating to save money. In the process of decoration, Feifei's parents really couldn't bear to see their daughter so wronged. In order to save some money, they suffered a lot and secretly gave her 50 thousand yuan.
Feifei doesn't want her parents' money. If she wants it, she can't just want her parents' money If she doesn't want it, neither her parents want it.
Because my husband had a big fight with Feifei for "Do you want my parents' money", the core idea is: "My parents have no money, and I can't ask my parents for it anyway. Your parents have money, they will give it if they want, and they will not take it if they don't give it to us. "
03
Finally Feifei asked a friend to borrow money to decorate, and no one's parents asked for money.
Later, the house was finally decorated, and Feifei finally breathed a sigh of relief. The next step is to prepare for pregnancy.
In the process of pregnancy, Feifei is still cautious, because she knows that the cost of raising a child in the future is huge.
So in the next two years, Feifei scrimped and saved 65,438+10,000 yuan.
Because of her husband's fertility problem, the doctor reminded Feifei and his wife that they might have to resort to medical means to get pregnant, so Feifei planned to use this 65,438+10,000 yuan to have a baby.
At this juncture, Feifei's sister, that is, Feifei's husband's sister, appeared frequently.
At first Feifei wanted to know why her husband faltered as soon as he got a call from his sister.
Later, I learned that my husband's sister, after learning that her brother and sister-in-law had 6,543,800 yuan, encouraged her brother to borrow some money from her parents-in-law. With her brother's current savings, she wanted to buy a house for her parents-in-law and asked to write her name.
In other words, the husband and family are calculating Feifei and her parents, and want Feifei's parents to pay a down payment to buy a house for her in-laws, and scrape off the money that Feifei is going to do IVF to buy a house for her in-laws.
When her husband stammered out her sister-in-law's plan, Feifei immediately replied, "Why? Your sister asked you to buy a house. Why do you want my family to make a down payment? My parents' money was blown away by the wind? "
Feifei added, "How about this? You love your parents and sister very much. Why not live like a family? " . While we haven't had children, we just got divorced. I paid 20 thousand to 30 thousand more for the down payment on this house, and I don't care. When the house is sold, the house is divided equally. "
Feifei became more and more angry and felt that she really had no vision before marriage. How did she meet such a baiwenhang? When I got married, I wanted nothing. On the contrary, I hope my parents suffer, and my sister is counting on her parents.
04
Later, Feifei's husband looked at Feifei's resolute divorce and panicked. Because he knew that if he met Feifei like this, he wouldn't need any material conditions to get married. Buy a house together with a down payment and live carefully after marriage. It's really hard to find a woman who knows she has fertility problems but doesn't say anything or even like him.
What's more, Feifei is young, has no children and has a good family condition. It's not hard to find another good man.
So Feifei's husband was rarely car-scrapping, refuting his sister several times.
On one occasion, my sister-in-law was so angry that she called Feifei and said a bunch of ugly things.
Feifei recorded all the recordings for her husband, who immediately called his sister and had a quarrel.
Feifei said that now she and her in-laws have no feelings at all, and her husband also said that there is no need to contact her in-laws.
There will always be some people in life who stand on the so-called height and point fingers at other people's lives.
Like Feifei's elder sister-in-law, her own small family is not necessarily satisfactory, but she pays attention to the family of her younger brother and sister-in-law, says nothing about the young couple's life plan, and shifts her mind to her parents.
Some people just have a strong sense of superiority, thinking that their families should listen to their own arrangements, even those who are far behind should listen to themselves.
05
Therefore, it is better to advise those people with crooked brains not to toss about any more.
If you want a house, you must earn it by your own efforts, not by playing tricks.
As a friend of Feifei, I think Feifei is doing the right thing, because if she agrees to her sister-in-law's request, there will definitely be more bottomless things waiting for her in the future.
Fortunately, Feifei's husband still has a trace of reason and IQ, knowing that Feifei is a very good girl and that her sister's request is unreasonable.
If you meet a man who only takes the words of his sister and mother as the imperial edict, then Feifei's marriage must be over.
So why does Feifei's sister ask Feifei so many questions with confidence? Because she is still considering the problem from her own point of view, she thinks that nowadays girls are afraid of facing divorce, and now girls will definitely agree to her husband's family's request in order to maintain their marriage.
I don't know, however, that girls have been practicing martial arts for a long time to prevent being cheated and hurt, and it is the best policy to protect themselves.
At the same time, it is also suggested that girls should polish their eyes, observe attentively and look at people, and don't ignore each other's personality and family quality because of love.
If you can meet a man like Feifei's husband, his character is ok and he can bear it, even if his family quality is similar. I'm afraid that the family I met is not good, and men still obey their family's arrangements, which will make life difficult in the future.