Chapter 1: Three Steps to Avoid Stuttering in Interview
Chapter 2: Dealing with Fear, 7 Steps
Chapter 3: Don't let wrinkles crawl into your mind.
June is the graduation season, most graduates are busy looking for jobs, and interviews are commonplace. Some people look comfortable, while others are too nervous to know what to say. They won't say anything prepared. What about stuttering in the interview?
The third step is to keep you from stuttering in the interview.
It's almost a year since Hong Yang graduated. When applying for jobs everywhere, he was always rejected because he stuttered during the interview. Recently, Hongyang took the civil service exam again and reached the final interview level. The hearts of Hongyang's family are in their throats! Hong Yang's father contacted me.
The first step: psychological adjustment
Sitting in the consulting room, Hong Yang, bent over, hesitated: "I, I applied for civil servants this year, and the competition was fierce. Two rounds of written tests have passed, and now it is the last level. I will interview in a few days. " "Isn't this a good thing? Congratulations! " "Didn't you see? I stutter. If I want to talk in the interview, I will eat it all my life because of my mouth! " Speaking of which, Hongyang's head is buried deeper. To be honest, although I feel that Hong Yang doesn't speak fluently, I really wouldn't associate him with stuttering if he didn't say it himself. In other words, his oral expression ability is basically normal. Hongyang listened to this expression and said, "You are right. However, I do stutter sometimes, and the more nervous I am, the more I stutter. Talking to you today, I was a little nervous at first, but I stuttered a little. Later, I felt that you were easy-going, and I myself felt that I spoke more fluently. " "Exactly." I took the topic, "in a relaxed conversation, it is not easy to stutter because of physical and mental relaxation."
Therefore, before speaking at the scene, try to relax, which is the first step to overcome stuttering. It can be called' relaxing on the spot'. Hongyang said, "I am very relaxed now, and it feels good to talk to you." ""everyone does. You feel good when you relax. When you are nervous, it is difficult to avoid stuttering. " "That's true. My father stutters when he is in a hurry. "Hong Yang blurted out." Very good! Look, you didn't stutter at all just now. "I consciously render atmosphere. After I mentioned it, he was surprised and confused: "What's the matter?" "It's not surprising at all." I said, "Just now, you were eager to tell me your' great discovery', and you have reached the state of forgetting yourself. The more I realize myself, the more I think about' I'm talking', and the more I care about other people's attitudes, the more likely I am to stutter. On the contrary, the more you forget yourself, the less likely you are to stutter. Therefore, we should actively create a situation of forgetting to speak, and try to dilute or even eliminate the consciousness of' I am talking' and' how do I speak'. Sometimes, in order to forget myself, I simply play a talking role, practice alone first, then go to a strange place, talk to people in the state of entering the role, and then gradually turn into life. This second method can be called' self-forgetting method'. " "Forget the method is reasonable. "Hong Yang's expression is getting smoother and smoother." Since many people have stuttered, it means that stuttering is not a big deal, so don't worry too much. ""Yes, sometimes you stutter because you worry too much. As soon as the worries are eliminated, the speech will naturally flow smoothly. This is also an important way to overcome stuttering, which is called' the method of eliminating troubles'. "Then, we summarized the above three psychological adjustment methods. I suggest Hongyang go back and imagine how to use these methods in the interview.
Step 2: Language training
The next day, Hongyang came to the consulting room as promised and told me excitedly, "I imagined all the methods yesterday." On-site method, I can imagine the interview as chatting with my buddies and relaxing; Desalinate the self-method, I pay attention to the conversation and imagine myself as a person talking and forgetting myself; In order to eliminate my worries, I will throw caution to the wind and throw away all my stuttering troubles. Do you think this is okay? ""yes, that's it. " I said firmly, "especially the way to eliminate troubles is more important." "Do you know Valenda? He is a famous tightrope walker in America. He was successful all his life, but in his last farewell performance, he fell off a tightrope. Why do you say this is? " Hongyang thought for a moment and said, "He values the final result too much." "yes. What does this mean? " "During the interview, regardless of the result, throwing caution to the wind. Otherwise, the more you value the result, the more nervous you are, and the more likely you are to stutter. " "Very well said. Do you know why? This is because the more you value the result, the more you worry about stuttering, which is a negative self-psychological suggestion. We usually say' the more afraid of ghosts, the more we encounter them'. This is a fact. Therefore, we should completely get rid of the idea that' if the interview is unsuccessful, our life will be over', throw caution out of the clouds, indulge in it, and throw the interview results out of the clouds. In this way, the troubles are completely gone, the body and mind are relaxed, and the conversation is smoother. "
At this point, Hongyang finally straightened up on the sofa for the first time, and then asked, "If you are in a hurry, especially when you stutter at first, is there any other way?" "One is the soothing and smoothing method, the other is the rhythm pronunciation method, the other is the first word breakthrough method, and the three methods are comprehensively used." I said, "Why do stutterers hardly stutter when singing or reciting?" Because there is rhythm when singing and reciting, and the rhythm is very slow. Therefore, you should practice speaking in a thin, slow, light and soft tone. At the same time, you can also knock the time quietly. This slow-paced exercise should be used especially on the first word of each sentence or word. At the beginning of the speech, consciously remind yourself' slow, light, slow, light'. In this way, the airflow is slow and the vocal organs are not easily blocked. If the tone of the first word and sentence is mild, it will break through the first level and be beneficial to the whole speech. How about trying it? "Then, we used a children's song for on-site actual combat training. The training mode is as follows: There is a big iron cow in the village who can't/eat grass/like to drink oil. Tail/drag/big comb, comb/field/naked. There is a big iron cow in the village, and the sun is still roaring. Ask if you are/plow/tired, just/shout/don't talk. In the nursery rhyme practice above, the so-called soothing balance method is to pronounce every word in a soothing tone by dragging the sound; The so-called rhythm pronunciation method is to pause where there is a "/"; The so-called first word breakthrough method is to say some words quietly like "whispering". I suggest that he can find a poem when he goes back and practice his pronunciation in this way.
Step 3: Auxiliary measures
Two days later, Hongyang visited again. We used the above methods comprehensively and did some language exercises. With our practice, Hongyang's pronunciation is becoming more and more fluent. Then I suggest you try the following auxiliary pronunciation methods when necessary: (1) Take a deep breath. If you find yourself stuttering, stop before you speak and take a deep breath consciously. (2) Action coordination. Use some actions related to words to match the speech. For example, if someone asks you what your exam score is, you can say "80" and slowly stretch out two fingers to compare with "8". (3) Vague language. Usually we don't pronounce every word clearly. Many words used to be vague. For example, listen carefully to the phrase "China people". Only the word "zhong" is clear, and the other two words are vague. Especially the pronunciation of "country" is passing by. When stutterers encounter words that are difficult to pronounce, the best way is to be vague and pass them by. (4) Change the word circuitous. When you encounter words that are difficult to pronounce, you can take circuitous tactics. It is to add one or two meaningless words before what you want to say, or replace them with synonyms. (5) smile. Keeping a calm smile can not only adjust your mood, but also help you use some methods. (6) Motion correction. For example, some people who stutter want to speak with all their strength from the beginning because of difficulty in speaking, and over time, their necks are tilted. Over and over again, you get into the habit of speaking a little harder and your neck will be crooked. In language training for this phenomenon, he should pay special attention to his neck and not let it skew. After many corrective trainings, this accompanying action will be corrected together with stuttering.
Finally, I emphasized, "Stuttering is a kind of heart disease. Therefore, it is very important to use the previous methods for psychological adjustment. More importantly, give yourself positive psychological hints and believe that your spoken English is normal and you can communicate smoothly. This is the key. " We agreed to use the time before the interview to create conditions for active conversation and do some self-surprise training.
Near the first day of the interview, Hongyang called and told me that hard practice was very effective and full of confidence in the interview. Now, there is good news. Relying on his own understanding ability and self-help action, Yang finally overcame the "stuttering" and won the interview for civil servants. Stuttering is a kind of "heart disease", which mostly happens to men. It is said that heart disease is caused by the organic reasons of a few vocal organs, mostly psychological reasons such as imitation, nervousness and suggestion in childhood, which are gradually strengthened. In addition, the stuttering of teenagers is usually situational, temporary or accidental, which does not affect the normal language expression. Therefore, don't label yourself "stuttering" just because you stutter occasionally, which is very important to "overcome stuttering". At the same time, appropriate psychological adjustment measures should be taken in time. Generally speaking, as long as psychological adjustment is carried out as soon as possible, better correction effect can be achieved. Also, some young people who don't stutter at first will stutter because of nervousness during the interview. In this case, don't label yourself "stuttering". You should adopt the above psychological adjustment methods to help you pass the interview.
Dealing with fear, seven steps
Everyone will experience fear more or less in life, but living in constant fear for a long time will do harm to the body, reduce immunity and cause other diseases. So, how do we deal with fear? Here are seven steps that can help you reduce the intensity of fear without hindering your attempt.
Step one: deepen understanding
Know what scares you. Doubt is the main cause of fear. Deepening the understanding of fear is a big step to eliminate fear.
Step 2: Self-training
If there is something you are afraid to try, you should face it bravely and gradually overcome this fear. Being familiar with what scares you will eventually make it easier for you to overcome this fear.
Step 3: Find a partner.
You can find a person who is not afraid of this and that, spend some time with this person and observe how the other person faces this kind of thing or situation.
Step 4: Listen carefully.
Listen to examples where people openly talk about their fears and speak out their fears.
Step 5: Design the game.
Design an imaginary game. If you are afraid to speak in front of everyone, it may be because you are afraid that they will judge you. At this point, you can imagine that these people are all naked. As the only person wearing clothes in the room, you can judge.
Step 6: strengthen your faith.
Don't design any grand blueprint, but have the belief of getting rid of fear step by step.
Step 7: Seek professional advice.
Fear is not a simple emotion. If you can't overcome your fears yourself, you should consult or seek professional help at this time. At present, there are many ways to treat phobia. I suggest you do it under the guidance of experienced professionals.
Don't let wrinkles crawl into your mind.
We use wrinkles to perceive facial aging, use a thermometer to measure body temperature, and use time to measure work efficiency. But have you tested your mental premature aging index? In fact, among many factors affecting mental aging, personal psychological characteristics and social psychological factors play a greater role, which makes it possible for us to delay mental aging.
Please be careful of the following symptoms
Although everyone says that "people are not old when they are old", how do you know if your psychological age is beginning to age? Psychologists have summarized the early signs of 10 mental aging, which can help us to correctly identify them.
1. People who have no innovative ideas about their careers often feel empty and bored, especially mental workers, and feel more and more at a loss.
When I am alone, I often sigh. Facing the times and life, I often feel that I am behind the times.
3. The reaction is abnormal, one-sided and sometimes extremely sensitive. I always feel that my family and people around me are giving me a hard time, and my heart is full of doubts. On the other hand, sometimes they turn a blind eye to what is happening around them and react coldly.
4. Stubborn, no matter what you do, you want to be self-centered and act according to your own wishes;
5. He is very withdrawn. When he meets something slightly unsatisfactory in life, he will become furious, complain about others, like to be alone and go his own way.
6. Slow thinking. In the face of emergencies, people are often at a loss, flustered and at a loss.
7. Impatient, easy to get emotional, increasingly irrational in words and deeds, easy to misinterpret other people's kindness, sometimes unable to listen to other people's opinions, not calm, easy to break out:
8. I am in a trance, like to indulge in past memories, my feelings are fragile and my emotions are "naive".
9, gradually lazy, depressed, often feel lack of energy, quiet and noisy, weak, often rely on wine and tea to refresh themselves.
10. Work efficiency is reduced, memory is obviously decreased, indecision and lack of vitality. To do a thing, you often have to start it several times and put it off again and again.
Causes of premature psychological aging: anxiety and fatigue.
Main environmental source: family environment.
Universal expression
I often think about things at work on weekends or before going to bed.
Sometimes, there will be excessive behavior because of inexplicable anxiety and uneasiness.
Frequent insomnia or restless sleep:
I am most afraid of hearing the voice of dissatisfaction with my carefully prepared plans and ideas.
I always worry that I can't handle interpersonal relationships well or offend others.
When I hear people around me talking about some topics, I feel uneasy:
Psychologist analysis
When people lament that time and tide wait for no man, they often say "Fuck your troubles". Worry is anxiety. It is like a fire in your inner world, which makes you fall into endless busyness and unnecessary troubles. The most intuitive effect is to cause endocrine disorders and accelerate physiological aging.
A coup to enhance physical and mental vitality
Release all the tension.
Find your own emotional outlet, effectively release the pressure, tell your family or friends about your troubles, and let them make suggestions for you; You can also vent your emotions through exercise to keep your body and mind happy.
Make some friends younger than yourself.
Get along with the younger generation at home, and make some young friends, so that you can be infected by the vitality of youth and enrich your heart.
Keep curiosity
Choose some interesting projects outside your major, such as linguistics, tourism, cooking, etc. Try your best to avoid premature mental aging.
The inducement of premature psychological aging: numbness reaction
Main environmental sources: social environment.
Universal expression
Sometimes I like to look at those bloody pictures or pictures on the Internet.
Nothing smells good recently, or I want to eat everything I see.
I haven't contacted my former friends for a long time except my colleagues.
Always turn on the TV, change channels, stay up late,
I don't notice small scratches or bumps.
Psychologist analysis
Numbness is considered as a common psychological defense way for urbanites, which can make us immune to all kinds of negative emotions. The price is that we also lose our sensitivity to positive psychological feelings. From this perspective, most people who work hard in the workplace have an obvious knowledge that they are not old, but they are "precocious".
A coup to enhance physical and mental vitality
Restore a regular routine.
One of the most direct ways to adjust numbness is to try to restore regular work and rest, force yourself to do more exercise, find fun in life for yourself or join your favorite circle.
Keep a positive attitude.
First of all, we can review the aggressive state of youth and strengthen the memory of the signals left in our minds in youth. Secondly, we should face the reality, strive for our own life goals and further realize our own life value.
The reason of premature psychological aging: fear of reality
Main environmental source: workplace
Universal expression
Always find reasons to refuse invitations from friends or colleagues.
Believe some recent negative opinions or news.
Often jealous or feel that heaven is unfair.
Often criticize colleagues and leaders in front of friends or family.
I feel that there seems to be a problem with interpersonal relationships recently, and there are more and more unreliable people around me.
What I am most afraid of is that my mobile phone rings on weekends, and sometimes I even hear voices.
Psychologist analysis
In a competitive metropolis, many people will feel more or less insecure. Although the dream is full, the real life is very skinny. We can let ourselves live longer and find our own fun in the busy life.
A coup to enhance physical and mental vitality
Try various ways to express your feelings.
Feeling rich, happy or angry, complaining about being single and negative. So, gradually try to express your feelings instead of complaining. If you can communicate with friends and colleagues with a cheerful attitude, I believe that the feeling of lack will disappear.
Be good at turning your emotions into the best state.
After working continuously for a long time, the brain often feels tired. If you can transfer to another job of different nature in time, you will adjust your mental state. By listening to music, walking, outing and other activities to transfer their negative emotions, you can always maintain your best mood.
Conclusion: Do you have the above mental aging phenomenon? Then try the psychological doctor's coup above! Change the same life and make yourself younger! (The article was originally published in Health Expo Healthy World, serial number: 04,2012, by Feng Zhiguo, Zhicheng and Wenjing. Copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible and we will delete the content as soon as possible.