Some parents agree with this practice and think it is the cultivation of children's independent ability; Some education experts also said that this is a utilitarian performance of parents' increasingly demanding children. These alternative practices are special and not suitable for all parents to copy.
Hot Dad: Alen Rock Climbing Equipment Designer.
Allen is engaged in rock wall design, rock wall equipment research and development and production, and is also a rock climbing instructor. Allen's climbing wall is three meters high and covers an area of more than 20 square meters. The design scheme was all made by Allen.
The birth of his son made Allen find this wall very useful. "Children's nature is crawling", so he redesigned it. "I reduced the difficulty. The rock point is in cartoon form, and I put some photos and toys on it to attract my son's attention. "
Now my almost 4-year-old son climbs this wall many times almost every day. "When he climbed the mountain, we gave him protection. For him, this feeling is like walking. " Sometimes, my son is addicted to rock climbing, but because he is young, Allen has to control his exercise. "On the one hand, it can cultivate his attention, on the other hand, it can also exercise his coordination ability. Probably because I have been climbing, the little guy is much braver than the children of friends and relatives. "
Hot mom: Cai Nengna fashion editor
"Now the living conditions are getting better and better, and the children are living smoothly in honeypots, and there is no chance of suffering. Therefore, it is necessary to cultivate their ability to resist blows and setbacks. " Cai Nengna's point of view is as young and fashionable as her own. Therefore, when her daughter was still in the kindergarten class, Cai Nengna made a choice for her-learn roller skating. "I was very active when I was a child. I learned to skate before. I think girls should have artistic temperament, but also have sports cells. " This choice is completely forced for my daughter. "At that time, she was very unhappy, timid and afraid of falling." Cai Nengna was beside her, trying to get rid of her timidity. "In the beginning, she sat on the ground and cried every time she fell. I walked over and let her fall and get up from there. "
Later, after practicing more, she stopped taking wrestling seriously and mastered wrestling skills and how to make herself less injured. After half the course, my daughter fell in love with roller skating Now that her daughter is in the second grade of primary school, Cai Nengna said that she didn't pay attention to her homework and tried to satisfy her extracurricular hobbies. "As the saying goes, I hope she has a healthy body and mind, which is more important than anything else."
Hot mom: Chichma civil servant
Eight-year-old Kiki is very capable and has a regular life. Every morning, she washes clothes first, then reads for a while, and then walks to school by herself when it's time. Now most children are taken to school by their parents, but Kiki has been going to school alone since kindergarten. At home, Kiki often does some housework within her power. She is a little teacher in the eyes of her classmates, and the class teacher's evaluation of her is "more sensible and independent than children of the same age".
In the eyes of neighbors and friends, Kiki's mother is very strict with her. Every time Kiki makes a mistake, her mother will severely criticize her and never relent. For example, eating, it is stipulated that you must finish eating within 20 minutes, otherwise you can't eat any more. On one occasion, Kiki couldn't finish her meal within the stipulated time, so she took advantage of her mother's unprepared and quietly poured out the meal. As a result, in the evening, Kiki was hungry and asked her mother for something to eat. Mother not only refused to give her food, but also severely criticized her. Later, no matter how she cried, her mother ignored him. This time, the experience of starvation made Kiki dare not be half-hearted after eating. For example, Kiki forgot to bring his exercise book to school and did his homework at home. Her mother never reminded her, but let her be criticized by the teacher.
Social competition is becoming more and more fierce, so "cool mom and hot dad" began to spread. "Cool mom and hot dad" doesn't mean you don't love children. Putting away love is to let children grow up better. To some extent, they represent a new educational model. All kinds of life affect modern parents and change their ideas. Therefore, this unique educational model embodies the characteristics of the times and contains many aspects. Of course, like all other educational methods, the social evaluation of "cool mom and hot dad" is also mixed.
Opponents say that the practice of "cool mom and hot dad" will make children feel neglected, which is not conducive to their healthy physical and mental growth. Those in favor say that "cool mom and hot dad" can cultivate children's independent personality and make them adapt to this society more quickly. For other parents, how to really learn from "cool mom and hot dad", discrimination and choice also need wisdom.
The answer given by Miss Wang, who has been favored since childhood, is that she firmly plays the role of a cool mom: because of her parents' "meticulous" care, she has developed personality defects such as strong dependence, indecision and poor hands-on ability, and it is difficult to change. Because of this, Mr. Wang is willing to play the role of a cool mother in children's education and never wants his son to make the same mistake again.
Many mothers, like Miss Wang, have subverted the typical traditional maternal expression of "love is like a flood" and pursued the creed of loving deeply even if they love. They will not give unconditionally, nor will they always be tender, but often teach their children to face the cruel life with incomparable gentleness.
The witness, Mr. Zeng, said that he had seen a Japanese film "The Story of the Fox", in which there was a scene that he could not forget: on a snowy night, the little fox, who had just learned to walk and feed, was driven out of the cave by his parents. The little fox stood in the snow and screamed in pain, trying to go back to the hole again and again, but every time he was bitten out by the old fox stuck in the hole, in order to exercise the little fox to make a living. China's parents not only have unlimited responsibilities for their children, but also do endless duties for them. Ceng Laoshi believes that this is not helping children, but harming them.
Parents who agree with Ceng Laoshi believe that it is important for children to establish a sense of self-reliance. In particular, parents are partial to their children, not only eating and drinking, but also paying money to help their children get married and raise their children until their parents can't move. This is actually harmful to children.
Liu Xia, a senior early education expert, said that although some examples of "cool mom and hot dad" are only special cases, they also reflect a common phenomenon, that is, parents demand their children earlier and higher. Parents are too eager to cultivate their children's abilities in all aspects, but it is easy to increase pressure on their children. 3-year-old children should focus on developing language ability, while independent ability can not be formed until 4-5 years old. Now many parents take some alternative extreme ways to promote their children's independence in advance. "From the perspective of children's physical and mental development, this is not in line with the law. Once the child can't do it, it is easy to cause the child to have no confidence. "
In addition, some education experts believe that the correctness of alternative education is difficult to evaluate, and the key is to look at individual differences. For this kind of alternative education, it may indeed effectively make up for the shortcomings of children in some aspects, but children are individuals after all. If you mechanically copy other people's educational methods, it will suppress the development of children's personality. Especially for younger children, we should create a healthy and happy growth atmosphere for them.
In addition to some cruel alternative education methods, there are many "gentle" ways for parents to choose, which can also help children learn to be independent, social, brave, firm and responsible.
Keeping pets can cultivate children's sense of responsibility to take care of another creature. Take care of dogs, cats, etc. Can let children know what is a sense of responsibility.
For example, when the family dog shows up at the door at three o'clock every afternoon, waiting for the little master to return, it is not difficult for the child to understand what loyalty is, which is far better than giving him a few moral lessons. Moreover, the puppy will continue to demonstrate this truth to the little master. For another example, children sometimes abuse kittens by grabbing their tails, but afterwards kittens play with their owners regardless. Parents can teach their children what tolerance is through this incident, and at the same time tell him to learn tolerance when dealing with other people's mistakes.
Comments: Of course, if parents are busy with work and have no time to keep pets, they can let their children walk their dogs with their neighbors, or let their children make a nest for the school guinea pigs during the holidays.
Parents often encourage their children to aim high and make progress, but in the face of his failure, they are often blamed and at a loss.
In fact, when a child fails, it is also the time when family is most needed. For example, if the child loses in the competition, the best way at this time is to let the child leave the scene as soon as possible and take him to a place where there are only two of you, so that he will not be embarrassed in front of many friends.
Comments: Compassion can make a child feel understood. When he calms down, you can have a deep conversation with him. At this time, he doesn't need great truth or vague suggestions. Might as well say to him: "Next time you lose, you can shout at the sky." Such practical suggestions are far more helpful to children's physical and mental health than those empty sermons.
Many parents believe that the intimate behavior of husband and wife at home should avoid children, otherwise it will have a bad influence on the growth of children. Experts believe that the love between parents is beneficial to children's emotional education.
If you want to dance in the living room at home for a while at night, you can dance in front of the children, because it is very important for them to see your dancing, hugging and even kissing. Nowadays, children are often exposed to some inappropriate sexual information and ways to express their love. Parents have an obligation to let them see what healthy love is like.
Comments: For children, getting used to their parents' intimate behavior will make their relationship with friends around them more harmonious, especially for their future life with their loved ones.