Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is one of the most uneconomical things.
It is because of some abnormal or inappropriate things that hurt the feelings of two people for a lifetime.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, no one should say who, and each other should be more blx.
Mother-in-law is not a mother, and daughter-in-law is not a daughter, so you must pay attention to your words and deeds, because you will really hold grudges for a long time.
For the rest of my life, even if two people seem to be reconciled, there will still be a gap in my heart.
From the moment the contradiction arises, it is doomed that we will never speak again.
I think anyone who has experienced the feeling of smiling without smiling will understand this feeling.
In fact, most people are uncomfortable in their own hearts.
I remembered a girl's original words: "No way. Really, as soon as I saw my mother-in-law, I remembered what she had said and done before, and my heart could not be indifferent. An anonymous fire immediately rose. "
Before giving birth to a child, her mother-in-law always looked at her unhappily, saying everything was prickly and full of superiority everywhere.
It was not until she gave birth to her son that her mother-in-law began to accept her slowly and smiled more in front of her.
But she still can't get over it.
She said, why do you want your mother to be expensive when you get married yourself? Mother-in-law has no right to play tricks on herself like this. She is very comfortable like this. What about me?
For the sake of her husband, she has never torn her face with her mother-in-law, but the door in her heart has been closed to her mother-in-law forever.
Before she got married, she wanted to get along well with her mother-in-law in the future. If possible, she is willing to treat her mother-in-law as her own mother.
What she envies most is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that is, two people can sit together and tell family stories and talk about small things in life.
When she was young, her mother-in-law could help her a little. When she is old, she is willing to be a filial daughter-in-law.
Then she said, "Come on, what mom? My mother is very protective of my image in front of everyone and never lets me make a fool of myself. "
She and her mother-in-law have been married since their wedding day.
02
Many mother-in-law have a wrong idea.
I think that when a daughter-in-law marries her own family, she belongs to her own family, and as a mother-in-law and elder, she can be choosy and take care of her daughter-in-law.
After all, the man who married his daughter-in-law is his own son.
They all neglected one thing: the son has grown up, this is his own family, and the rest of his life is his own, not his mother's help.
Although the initial starting point was good, it went too far. As a mother, if she gets too involved in her son's marriage, she will easily end up being annexed.
This kind of self-attack acts on mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and in serious cases, it will also affect the marriage relationship.
How did the contradiction between her and her mother-in-law arise?
First of all, it comes from the mother-in-law's sense of superiority.
Her husband's family is doing some small business in the county, and the conditions among relatives have always been better. I bought seven houses back and forth at home, which is my mother-in-law's greatest confidence.
In fact, in her view, these seven houses are only in a small county on the 18th line, and there are several old houses. In fact, the value is not as high as her mother-in-law expected.
Moreover, these houses are none of her business, and she has never thought of adding her name to the real estate license, so her attitude towards this matter is relatively peaceful.
The most crucial point is that she and her husband both work in the city and buy a house in the city.
Regarding the down payment, she and her husband didn't want it at home. Originally, they planned to pay half each. Later, she paid a little more, which is all the money they saved after graduation.
Her husband's salary is not as high as hers, so his savings are not as high as hers.
Therefore, after analyzing these conditions, she thinks that she has not taken any advantage in this marriage, and the two are equal.
However, her mother-in-law doesn't think so.
Mother-in-law was dissatisfied with her when she learned that she was still a rural hukou.
03
Her family is not as good as her husband's. She is very ordinary. Her parents have been working outside the home all their lives. She has a suite in the county seat and a married sister.
I don't need them to worry too much about my parents' future life.
She said that because parents have no sons, they have been preparing pension money early in the morning, have fixed deposits, and both of them have social security. They will be responsible for their own lives every month from now on.
She and her husband are in free love, and the bride price symbolically took 8888. She doesn't value these things, and parents also think that it is most important for children to live well.
But their two daughters, their married parents, still prepared a dowry of 50 thousand.
When I went to see my mother-in-law, she was still quite confident.
She thinks that although her husband's family is better off than herself.
However, in terms of personal ability, her education is higher than her husband's. She is a graduate student and her husband is an undergraduate, so the unit and income are better, so they have their own advantages and disadvantages.
However, her mother-in-law was completely critical at first. Although she is satisfied with her education, she is still inferior to her son. She only thinks that her son is powerful and chooses to avoid her advantages.
Although she knew her mother-in-law's opinion from the beginning, mainly because she was a rural person and did not deserve her family, she thought it was not enough to threaten the feelings of two people.
Later, they got married.
Unexpectedly, her mother-in-law gave her a bigger "surprise" at the wedding.
Because the two families were having a banquet together, her family came over and said something polite, saying that she was lucky and married a Mr. Right or something.
Who knows, my mother-in-law directly satirized her in front of everyone and said, "Poor people are crazy to climb my house."
Then, laugh and say that you are joking.
However, when my mother-in-law spoke, I could see that she was really not joking.
Since then, she and her mother-in-law can no longer untie this knot.
Although now, because of the birth of her grandson, her mother-in-law has accepted her, but I still feel relieved when I think of all the things before.
04
If the mother-in-law can be the master of her son, let it go for the time being.
In this case, most boys need to be financially or otherwise attached to their families, so the marriage also needs the consent of their parents.
However, if the son is independent, the mother-in-law will put on airs in her son's marriage at this time, whether intentionally or unintentionally embarrassing the daughter-in-law, after all, it is a hidden danger.
On the one hand, you can't change your son's decision, on the other hand, you are offending your daughter-in-law.
Son and daughter-in-law will be a family in the future. What's in it for them?
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of several friends around me is like this.
My mother-in-law was never satisfied, but they got married anyway. At first, my mother-in-law said some ugly things. Even though her mother-in-law changed a lot later, her daughter-in-law always had a thorn in her heart.
The existence of this thorn determines that the daughter-in-law always has a bad feeling towards her mother-in-law.
Of course, there are very few people who really tear their faces, but it is really difficult to think for their mother-in-law from the heart.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be tangled rather than solved.
So you should be polite to each other from the beginning, complain less, be more considerate and be less intimate, but at least you can't make a big mistake. This is the best state.