Xiaoling sleeps on the table. Iverson lost a book with him. Get out. Xiao Wu came in and took Xiao Ai's seat. Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat! Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you! Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you? Wu: I took it last night. Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position! Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to pull it off early! Xiaoling woke up: What was that noise? It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning! Do you know what mistake you made? Huh? Xiao Ai: Yes. Wu: Let's stop arguing. Xiaoling: What you can't forgive is that you woke me up! Iverson sat in front of Xiaoling. Xiao Ai: Last but not least, develop style. Dude, take the exam as I say! Wu: Huh? Today's exam? Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today! Xiao Ai: Scared? Xiao Wu: Did you sleep? Xiaoling: None of them are right! I'm tired of playing with grass! Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil! Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard? Xiaoling: Do you also play with grass? Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling leaned over: What do you think? Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: Come on! Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book) Xiaoling: Go to hell! Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that? Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick? Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz. Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her. Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet? Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there? Xiaoling: Three steps! Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod) Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod) Step 3:-Hand in the paper! Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper! Wu: What's the problem? Xiaoling: I'll give you another question; Say, who didn't come to the exam today? Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaoling? Xiaoling: I'm not here! Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu? Xiao Wu: Yes! Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa! Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not! Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not yet! The teacher came in. Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in? Three people laughed. Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon! Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill! Teacher: Give out the roll paper quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do? Teacher: The exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself! Xiao Ai: I compare my teacher. He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands! Xiaoling: Exactly! Is he a legendary rapper, or why can't he keep mumbling? Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Heavier than the salt sea! Three people copy. Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: I didn't copy it! The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying! Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk! Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it! Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! Unfortunately, the teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go. Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour! The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the roll paper to the table and copied it. Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending! I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all. How did you copy it? Like this? Like this? Wu: Lower it! Lower it! Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's roll paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book? Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I can't play grass as well as her (Xiaoling)! Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu. Teacher: That's right. Remember to mow the grass next time! I like this kind of hard-working child. Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers. Put away the roll paper. Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon? Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up grass) What did you take just now? Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that? Three people: study how to mow the grass! The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone). Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher! Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Handing the paper roll to Xiao Ai) Xiao Ai: What's the matter? Teacher: You read it. Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has a melon face ... Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign to write claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face! Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it? Teacher: Keep reading. Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful … Teacher: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end! Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words? Teacher: So you are only * * beautiful? Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings! Teacher: Hum, tell you, you are only 496 words! Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful! Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. Touch the tree and die. Xiao Ai: Find an old pagoda tree to hang yourself! Teacher: Why is it an old pagoda tree? Look, you explain words, explain death, and you write death! Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death! Teacher: (with a helpless face) You, you hung up again! Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times! Teacher: OK, I'll give you a chance. I've heard of pemphigus, and I'm comfortable with it, right? You can make sentences easily, and I'll give them to you when it's right! Xiao Ai: Do you have any fish? ! Fish ... fish, fish swim in the water, and there are fish in the blade ... Teacher: (laughing) Congratulations, you won-Xiao Ai: Did you pass? Teacher: (it doesn't matter) the sixth chance to rebuild. Xiaoling and Xiao Wu: Forget it, let's study the tall grass. The teacher came in. Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher! Teacher: Xiao Wu! Wu: Yes! Teacher: Look at your roll paper! My question is: this is the question, please answer. what did you say ? Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake? Teacher: Is this a question? Teacher: You-OK, next, the essay question: What is courage? Why didn't you answer it? Xiao Wu: I answered! Teacher: Just five words! Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage! Teacher: You-you wait to hang up! Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I hung up fifteen times! Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your luck ... Xiao Wu: Two-too many! Teacher: OK, the first question is correct! If you don't answer the second question, I will let you pass. How many hairs do you have? Xiao Wu: I wish I were bald. Teacher: Answer! Xiaowu: 123456789! Teacher: How do you know? Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don't have to answer the second question! Teacher: OK! Very good! Very good! Holding (handing a piece of paper) Xiao Wu: This is-Teacher: Re-examination Form! Xiaoling and Xiao Ai: Let's study advanced mathematics-the teacher came in. Xiaoling: English teacher! Teacher: Xiaoling, why are you running? No breakfast! Xiaoling: No-Teacher: I saw you eating this morning! Xiaoling:-Have breakfast tomorrow! Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the roll paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just choose the topic without looking at it at all? Xiaoling: No! Teacher: How dare you quibble! Xiaoling: I didn't even look at the question, just the answer! Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar? Xiaoling: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph … Teacher: Xiaoling, it's time for you to wake up! You this time-Xiaoling: Ah! Teacher, I failed five or five times, no, fifty times! Can't hang up any more! Teacher: it's not that I didn't give it to you ... this ... for example, can you translate what evening dress means? (to the audience) This is an evening dress! Xiaoling looked at Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu. Xiao Ai: Night is night, right? Perfect for big games! Xiao Wu: clothes are clothes, MM is always clamoring to buy them! Xiaoling: Oh! Teacher, I know! It's a night suit! The teacher shook his head. Xiaoling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two take your time! (2) Xiao Ai: Forget it, mowing may not be useful. Am I leaving?
1. When I was a freshman, a buddy in my upper bunk talked in his sleep every day. One night, he said shyly, "I'm pregnant." We all fainted.
2. A boy who is usually exhausted in the dormitory shouted at midnight: "* Come and pull!" According to the survey, it is indeed a dream talk. There is also a lesbian theory-a girl in the dormitory suddenly said in the middle of the night: "Two pieces of bread, two handsome boys, the bread has gone bad, and the handsome boy has disappeared ..."
3, a high school classmate, a GG, suddenly sat up in the middle of the night and shouted: "Look at me filming you!" Then lie down and go back to sleep.
4. I used to listen to my roommate tell me that in the middle of the night, I suddenly said "My industrial and commercial password is …………………………………………", but I didn't get a "yes" for a long time, which made the two buddies anxious. After hearing this, I was extremely cold ... I immediately went out and changed my password.
I remember chasing a girl and asking her phone number. I'm afraid I'll forget it and go on. I didn't expect to ramble in my dreams when I slept at night. As a result, my mother heard it and called the girl the next day. Make of girls never ignore me, depressed. ...
We have been training in the army for a month, and the food is poorly controlled every day. A buddy shouted in the middle of the night: "That piece of braised pork is mine, don't grab it!"
7. Freshman, late at night! Everyone else is asleep. I am playing computer by myself. Suddenly I sat up and said calmly, "Then flowers are blooming …" I was shocked and asked, "What are you doing?" He fell down. After a while, he sat up again: "That's as sweet as honey ..."
8. One of the students is G Jun, who plays CS more on weekdays. One night, his mother came into his room, turned on the light, and suddenly heard: "Ah! Who throws a flash bomb! "
9. It is said that there is a person in our dormitory who loves to sleep and often snores! One night, I suddenly stopped snoring, and I was ecstatic ... and then at 2 o'clock in the morning, I heard a bang! ! The whole dormitory woke up. It turned out that he kicked down the bookcase under his feet and the books splashed all over him. Then I heard him turn over and say, "You're out of your mind!" Everyone was speechless and went back to sleep. At about 5 o'clock in the morning, he woke up. First he gave a "yi" and then he swore at who did it! Everyone fainted together! ! I will never forget ...
10, reading in the middle of the night, MM on the opposite bed suddenly sat up, looked at me straight for ten seconds, nodded and said, "Well, not bad." I asked, "What are you doing?" She fell asleep with a snort, so scared. ...
1 1, a buddy in the same dormitory, upper bunk, one day, the baffle of the bed was broken, and before going to bed, he worried and said, "It won't fall off at night, right?" In the middle of the night, suddenly "plop", the gentleman sat on the ground, wrapped in a quilt, and said to himself, "Oh, it really fell ..."
12, our dormitory is unique. One person suddenly shouted "help" in the middle of the night, and another person replied, "Who is calling for help so late?" Then two people continue to sleep.
13, the university suddenly woke up at night and saw a figure dangling in front of the third bed. Turn on the light! It's the old six in the dormitory next door, touching our old three's head. Mouth chanting: "the melon is ripe, the melon is ripe." Then we go to bed and don't forget to lock the door. ...
14, a brother in our dormitory, said a word when sleeping at night, shouting "Please don't kill me!" Everyone was depressed and speculated. The next day, they went to the canteen to have breakfast. In their sleep last night, they heard a group of MMs at the next table say that there was a MM in their dormitory: "I must kill you!" " "
15, when I was in college, a gentleman got up in the middle of the night and shouted: I love Fang La!
16, a girl sat up, her hands were drenched with rain, she looked up and said in her mouth, Down, Down, I want to blossom.
No matter how high the martial arts are, you are afraid of kitchen knives. No matter how high the IQ is, a brick will fall.