If psychological counseling is really effective, then you need to find a suitable therapist, so how should you find a suitable therapist?
Recently, a lot of friends will privately write the official account of WeChat in Weibo and ask me about many psychological problems they have encountered. I didn't reply much to this. I explained the reason in Weibo. As far as the professional requirements of psychological counseling itself and the consideration of curative effect are concerned, a few replies from individual professional psychological counseling may not only help solve psychological problems, but even cause secondary harm to friends with psychological problems. At the same time, this is also a very unprofessional embodiment, so I hope my friends who trust me can understand.
So how can we find a psychological counselor who suits us?
First of all, clinical work experience is very important, that is to say, you are not looking for a psychologist, because their main energy lies in theoretical research and demonstration. They may be more interested in tossing apes and mice and studying brains and nerves. Their achievements may be applied to all walks of life, or put on hold for a while, but they seem uninterested in why you are upset because of lovelorn, unemployment and family disharmony, and they don't have enough patience to listen to your chatter.
What you are looking for is a psychological counselor who has been specially trained and engaged in clinical psychological consultation and treatment. In China, they are generally practitioners who have obtained the qualification certificate of psychological counselors. However, at present, the working threshold of psychological counselors in China is low, and the practitioners are mixed. Textual research is too easy, it's an open secret. In other words, either the holder is an excellent psychological counselor, and an excellent psychological counselor is not necessarily a counselor suitable for you. Therefore, having a professional qualification certificate is only a basic requirement.
A good psychological counselor should be a person with a positive and healthy attitude, who studies and delves into professional knowledge (not only with certificates), but also with certain talent and clinical consulting experience.
Professor Xu Youxin pointed out: Psychotherapists and visitors should establish and develop good interpersonal relationship, and use interpersonal interaction based on this good relationship to solve various problems between them that hinder the smooth progress of treatment and achieve curative effect.
In other words, psychological counseling is essentially the relationship between people, and the basis for establishing a good relationship between people is trust. No matter what school psychological counselors belong to, and what treatment methods and means they adopt, they can't do without this foundation. From this perspective, finding a suitable consultant is actually similar to finding an object. First of all, there must be? Eye margin? After all, only when you meet the person you like, will you have a sense of security and trust, will you open your heart, will you show your true self, and will the therapist make further psychological healing possible through the special interpersonal relationship established between you.
Therefore, before receiving treatment, you have the right and need to know as much as possible about your counselor. Including age, gender, professional experience, thoughts and attitudes towards others, life and career. If you can, read more about his blog, homepage and Weibo to find out if this counselor is suitable for you.
Every counselor has his own strengths and weaknesses. For example, I have been concentrating on the study of positive psychology, and I am good at emotional counseling and career guidance. I don't care much about the parent-child relationship and the education of teenagers and children, but I feel a little tired of the psychological problems of middle-aged and elderly people. For psychological diseases beyond the scope of general psychological counseling, such as psychological disorders, neurosis, (phobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc. ) and psychopathy, limited to book knowledge and only a few months of internship experience in a mental hospital. Recommended? Mechanism, that is, refer visitors to more suitable psychological counselors, but sometimes not all psychological counselors will? Hard top? If you feel uncomfortable and inappropriate during the consultation, you can ask to terminate the consultation at any time, which is the same as breaking up when two people can't go on. Don't be embarrassed. Of course, you are not required to go to great lengths to inquire about his personal privacy. Everything is only beneficial to the cure.
As far as the consultation method is concerned, it is best to have an interview. Due to the limitation of conditions, online consultation and telephone consultation can also be considered. Generally speaking, counseling is scheduled for once a week, each time lasting about 40 to 50 minutes. Occasionally, there are some special situations, such as more counseling in traditional psychoanalysis schools and longer treatment time in family system. It is best to fix the time and place of psychological counseling, which is beneficial for visitors to get support in the counseling environment and keep the real life state at the same time.
Used to establish consulting objectives and? Course of treatment? The length of the consultation is determined by the consultant and the visitor during the consultation. With the deepening of the negotiation, the negotiation objectives and methods will be adjusted until the negotiation is suspended or the problem is solved.
Psychological counseling can't be solved once or twice. There are few technical terms and a few seemingly professional and rational guiding answers, which is why I didn't reply to my friends who asked me questions at the beginning of the article.
To paraphrase a catchphrase from Han Han's movie See you later:? We have heard countless truths, but we still can't live a good life. ?
If a few words of truth and a few words of truth can completely solve a person's psychological problems, then the profession of psychological counselor is completely unnecessary. If I can solve your problem in a few words, I am not alone, but like? Sakyamuni Jesus Christ. Such a role, not to mention that even they need to practice, should be convincing, let alone wait for ordinary people?
If psychological counseling is really effective, the therapist and a truly open you (including the subconscious) will establish a safe and trusting relationship between psychological counseling and visiting, and accompany, support and heal you through this relationship. I remember I wrote a passage in Weibo that change means long-term pain and hard work. Thank you for your trust and courage. I can be an important person at some stage of your life. I feel that I am experiencing your story, observing your mood, accompanying you, knowing myself and crossing the thorns. I am willing to tolerate and accept all your emotions, bright and dark, strong and fragile, and accompany you to find the courage and strength to enrich your heart and overcome difficulties.
All these require a certain amount of time and professional skills, which puts forward higher requirements for the professional quality and level of psychological counselors besides reasoning.
A good psychological counselor will always discuss with you about stopping counseling and ending treatment at an appropriate time. Of course, if you think treatment will lead to you? Hurt? You can also stop consulting at any time, but it is necessary to discuss your ideas frankly with the counselor, because during the consultation process? Empathy? It may lead to a feeling of discomfort or challenge, which is precisely the beginning of the imminent effect of treatment and may be an opportunity for further treatment. We need to find out what it is. Empathy? Or something.
In addition to obtaining curative effect, solving problems and terminating counseling, it is also right to terminate counseling when you meet an unreliable counselor or a good but inappropriate counselor, but giving up counseling does not mean giving up asking for help, just as breaking up does not mean not falling in love and giving up love, there will always be a suitable person waiting for you in front.
Also, in the process of consultation, consultants and visitors should protect their personal safety. Protecting yourself and avoiding injury are all noteworthy issues.
Let's talk about the charge for psychological counseling. Freud, one of the founders of psychological counseling, once said: Free psychotherapy is useless to patients.
First of all, charging is a kind of respect for the work done by consultants. I believe that no one wants to work for free for a long time. An excellent psychological counselor must study and train hard for a long time. In addition to the expensive training and study fees, they also spent a lot of energy and time on it. Psychological counselors also need to earn income through work to support their families.
Secondly, charging is conducive to establishing a good consulting relationship. The charge not only reflects the sincerity and trust of the helper, but also gives the consultant the obligation and responsibility. In order to save time, the helper will definitely take the initiative to cooperate with timely treatment. After the consultant collects fees, the service will naturally be more dedicated, and both parties can devote themselves wholeheartedly, so that the consulting effect can be guaranteed.
Third, the process of psychological counseling needs the careful cooperation of both sides. For free counseling, visitors often lack the ability to actively explore and change themselves when receiving treatment. They always hope that they can comfortably solve the problems that have plagued them for a long time through a few words from the counselor. This concept of waiting for others' help without doing anything and wanting to reap without paying is itself a kind of morbid state.
Finally, I remember that someone on Weibo privately believed me. I have questions, free of charge? ,? We are friends. Talking about money? There are also friends who send me a lot of words directly, saying their own difficulties and problems and trying to get answers. Faced with such a situation, as a psychological counselor, I could have refused directly. The answer not only violates the professional requirements of psychological counseling, but also the effect of counseling can not be guaranteed. Now my daily consultation time is already very tight, and I have to write a lot, which is really busy. However, as a sentimental young artist, he seems to feel a little guilty for not answering his heart.
I remember reading an article when I was in college. The psychological counseling industry in the United States is very mature and the fees are quite high. People are willing to pay for their mental health. For those at the bottom of society who can't afford expensive psychological consultation fees, the government and society pay the bill, which ensures the welfare and treatment of psychological counselors who are obliged to conduct psychological consultation, thus ensuring the right of poor people to receive psychological treatment and support.
However, this is obviously difficult to do at home. I think, through my writing, I may be able to provide some knowledge and services about mental health for those who are unable or unwilling to pay the fees. After all, in this society, the more reasonable people, the more warm and loving people, the less man-made tragedies. In this way, the society we live in will become more comfortable and safe, and we can live with more dignity.
So I began to explore and write about positive psychology on the Internet, insisted on writing some notes about psychological counseling on Weibo, shared some ideas about positive psychology, and wrote some essays about solving psychological puzzles and getting spiritual growth. Some time ago, many articles about emotion, career and interpersonal relationship were encouraged and affirmed by many readers and friends. I thought, well, forget it? Free? It is also very helpful and meaningful for us to gain spiritual growth together and help others and ourselves in this process.
;