Use total score structure:
Total: Description (good vision or pain point problem), commitment
Points: Proof (argument 1, argument 2, argument 3)
Overview: urge (call to action)
Upgrade version:
Consider who to say, what to say, how to say it, and where to say it
Homework:
There is a kind of hair fluffy spray, which can make hair fluffy and not greasy like washing without washing hair. Product features: natural raw materials, patented design, used by big stars. If you were asked to write in a 4P copywriting framework, what would you do? Who do you think is the audience of this product? What are their characteristics?
Who to tell: people in the workplace, 996, under great pressure.
How to say: time is not enough, come out in 3 seconds.
How to say: 4P
Where did you say: public places (elevators, subways)
The intensity of 996' s work makes you have less time to wash your hair. Get up in the morning, look in the mirror, my hair is stuck on my clothes, and my mental state is so poor! At this time, you urgently need a healing artifact-XXX hair fluffy spray, which can help you for 3 seconds.
Hair is fluffy, not as greasy as washing. This product is made of natural raw materials, mild and non-irritating; The design is patented and sold by only one company; XX stars are also using the same model. Now the products are engaged in activities, buy one get one free, only once a year, the opportunity is rare, don't miss it!