I am a mother of two children, and I have also experienced and thought about this problem!
I think it is possible to be a full-time mother, but what kind of full-time mother should I consider? !
1. A mother who simply takes care of her children
I think such a full-time mother is not advisable!
It is easy to devote yourself wholeheartedly to the family and lose yourself.
I discovered a phenomenon. When a woman has a child, she can easily change her WeChat avatar to a cute photo of her child. Have you fallen into this trap? [Laughing] Anyway, I fell into this trap. Once I have a child, the child becomes the center of my life. Surrounding the children all day long, I gradually lose my original self [face covering]
[Poor] If you stay as a stay-at-home mother like this for a long time, you will gradually lose touch with society and cannot keep up with the times. .
[Haze] After being a stay-at-home mother like this for a long time, she will become more and more afraid of finding a job and not know where to start.
[Petrochemical] After being a full-time mother like this for a long time, it is easy for her to be unkempt and slovenly.
[Crying loudly] After being a stay-at-home mother like this for a long time, it is easy for her to grow further and further away from her lover.
2. Learning mother
Learning mother is what I advocate!
The special thing about such a full-time mother is that although she does not go to work, the learning mother is always learning, constantly enriching and updating herself, and always preparing for work in the future, in order to achieve the goal of family life Work seamlessly.
[Shy] A learning mother who dresses herself beautifully every day needs a sense of ritual in her life. Men also always like to see a beautiful wife, not a yellow-faced woman who has been tortured for life and children.
[what] Learning mothers also often think about, in order to learn, arrange time reasonably, adjust learning methods and methods, understand new things in society, and constantly update themselves.
[Laughs] Learning mothers also care and educate their children differently. I will learn to make my parenting methods more scientific. Let your children grow better, not only in terms of physical fitness, but also in spiritual and cultural aspects.
So when life forces you to be a stay-at-home mother. Try to be a learning mother.
There are also some mothers in the society whose family background is very good, but in order to raise their children better, they give up their jobs and take care of their children with peace of mind.
Of course there are various situations...
In fact, the first three years of raising a child are the hardest. After these three years, after the child goes to kindergarten, the road It will get better and better.
As a mother of two children, I gave up a good job to work full-time for nearly 5 years. I feel deeply about this issue. First of all, you must understand that the education of your child in the first few years is indeed very important, and you cannot relax in the subsequent education. , but it doesn’t have to be you. It’s possible that a mother who has a career but doesn’t have much time but is attentive will have a more positive impact on her children than a mother who has time at home but isn’t very motivated! You have to think about the following questions:
1. Do you have a husband who understands Dali, understands life, values ??education, is considerate and tolerant, and is not chauvinistic? Because your life cannot be separated from your husband, you have to know that it is very likely that the life of a stay-at-home mother will make you mentally empty, physically tired, and have no sense of existence, and will make you suffer a lot of grievances. On the one hand, many men think that you are just... Taking care of children is very leisurely and may cause you to lose your status; on the other hand, being a mother is not easy!
2. What kind of person are you? What are you pursuing? If you think that women should be independent and have their own career pursuits, and cannot live just for their children and leave only temporarily, then you have to consider the significance and impact of your current career on your life. If you return to your family, what will you lose? Is it possible or easy to find yourself again after a few years? If you completely believe in yourself, go for it bravely!
I believe that after weighing it, there will be an answer. No one can make the decision for you! I wish you to be the helmsman of your own life!
Whether you can be a full-time mother should be judged based on family conditions and your own life plan.
Maybe you will say that full-time mothers can also make money at home, micro-business, self-media, etc... In fact, if you do these, I understand that it is not the concept of a full-time mother. A full-time mother must be wholeheartedly dedicated to her family. , career is family, so what I am talking about here is a stay-at-home mother without any job.
If your answers to the following questions are "yes", then I think you can be a stay-at-home mother:
1. Can you tolerate staying at home 24 hours a day? Surrounded by children at home?
2. Is it acceptable to accept that you have no source of income and can only rely on your partner to "pay you salary" irregularly and irregularly?
3. Is it acceptable to have few other friends in life besides family?
4. Are you willing to accept that you will have no other personal achievements except your family for the rest of your life?
5. Can you ensure that while you are a stay-at-home mother, you can keep up with the times and bring the latest educational concepts to your children?
It is not recommended to be a stay-at-home mother for the following reasons:
1. Out of touch with society
2. Gradually alienate friends and colleagues
3. The economy is tight, and asking your husband for money will hurt your self-esteem, especially when your parents need money
4. The relationship with your husband is tense, and there are no similar topics
5. You may also have a tense relationship with your child, because you stare at him all day, and he may find it troublesome
6. Most stay-at-home mothers stay at home because they really have no choice, but they have a bad mentality The mild ones often have a bad temper, and the severe ones may lead to depression
Of course, if your family's financial conditions are particularly good, your relationship with your husband is particularly good, your husband is a very good person, and you have a good mentality, then of course It is possible to be a full-time mother. This is what I have concluded through my own blood and tears.
If conditions permit, absolutely fine.
First of all, the economic conditions must allow it, and whether the husband still has some surplus to work to support the family. If one person is working to make ends meet, consider where your family's focus lies. If family members agree that educating their children is the first priority, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a bit hard or tiring, but they must raise their children well, then they can also choose to be a stay-at-home mother.
Secondly, can you endure being at home for a long time, almost isolated from the outside world? Is this kind of life what you want? Can your husband support you? Is he too stressed out working alone? After a long time, can you still integrate with society? If you don't think this is a problem for the sake of your children, you can also choose to be a stay-at-home mother.
The benefits of being a stay-at-home mother are also very obvious. First, it allows the husband to concentrate on his career and solve his worries. Second, raising children by yourself is more beneficial to the child's growth and can be better cultivated, so that the whole family can fully develop. In ancient times, there was also a saying that men were the masters outside and women were the masters inside.
I have a cousin who is a stay-at-home mother. Her conditions permit, her children are raised very well, and her family is very harmonious. As for me, because I have to work, I can only take care of my children with my parents-in-law. Since my parents-in-law take care of the children for intergenerational education, there will inevitably be some problems. Sometimes I have to take care of my children due to my faultless work, and I am often unable to discipline them myself.
In short, as long as there are conditions and a woman is willing to sacrifice her own life for the sake of her children, she can still choose to be a stay-at-home mother.
Hello, can I be a stay-at-home mother? I believe that every family has a different answer to this question. I personally think that the main considerations are as follows:
1 , Your current family's economic conditions, if you don't work, will it have a great impact on the quality of your family's life?
2. Consider the relationship between you and your husband. If your husband does not agree or is unwilling for you to be a stay-at-home mother, this will be the trigger for the breakdown of your relationship with him.
3. Understand whether you can accept it, because after a few years, your children are studying and you are free. If you want to continue to work at that time, it will be more difficult to engage in a more professional career. After all, there is no Been working for many years.
4. The most important point is to discuss and communicate with your husband.
It depends on whether your husband has the ability to support the family, and it also depends on whether you have the ability to do a good job in housekeeping. First of all, don’t underestimate the housekeeping aspect, which is also very hard. The most important thing is whether you have the ability to educate and raise your children. With this ability, it is easy to raise children, but it is very difficult to educate them well. During this period, you should also try not to derail yourself from society. Otherwise, the communication distance between you and your husband will become wider and wider. The greater your husband’s ability, the greater the distance. The more, the marriage may be in danger. Even if there is no danger, when money is needed, especially when the mother's family uses money, she will be very righteous and guilty. This convenience must be considered. I suggest that women do not necessarily have to support the family, but You must be able to support yourself.
Personally, I don’t recommend being a stay-at-home mother.
First of all, the value of a stay-at-home mother is only reflected in the family, and social value requires work to be reflected. Is it a bit of a waste for a stay-at-home mother to study for the first twenty years just to raise her children?
Secondly, stay-at-home mothers cannot get a sense of accomplishment at work. According to the fourth level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, people have the need to gain self-respect, confidence, achievement, respect for others, and be respected by others. Being successful at work, experiencing a sense of accomplishment, and gaining respect from others is something that stay-at-home moms cannot experience.
Once again, the life circle of a stay-at-home mother is too small. Except for the children, they only have a few best friends, and interpersonal communication is limited. Moreover, due to the constraints of their children, stay-at-home mothers have limited space for activities. If their husbands are not considerate, they will have no way to express their inner loneliness, isolation, and helplessness, which will have an impact on their mental health over time. This is how postpartum depression develops.
Also, stay-at-home mothers have no income if they don’t work, so they have to rely on men. After being a stay-at-home mother for a long time, women will lose part of their charm, such as self-confidence. At this time, men will often dislike you. When you leave your destiny to a man, you have to ask, is the man you meet reliable? If it's not reliable, don't hand over the initiative. Happiness still has to be created by yourself.
Finally, according to the highest level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, people have the need for self-actualization. For example, creativity, problem-solving skills, etc. often need to be realized in society, at work, and in interactions with others.
To sum up, after returning from maternity leave, stay-at-home mothers should go to work to create their own value. You need to be careful when being a stay-at-home mother. If you stay at home for a few years and then go out into society, you may be eliminated.
Being a stay-at-home mother actually depends on your personal abilities. Some people don't have the ability.
Turning a stay-at-home mother into a Filipino maid, she turned into a middle-aged woman with a shabby appearance. Some people can turn stay-at-home mothers into family CEOs if they have the ability.
Everyone has a different personality. Is the family situation different? It cannot be generalized. All I can say is that if you want to be a stay-at-home mother, treat it like a career. It is no less than a workplace. For example, relatives, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, and daughters-in-law are powerful colleagues or rivals in the workplace, and your husband is your boss. You are a subordinate, your family is also a company, and your children are your intellectual property rights and patents.
In addition, don’t lose yourself because you become a full-time mother. Only you can maintain your independence and space. Love yourself more and others will love you. If you don't care for yourself, why should others care for you?
Being a full-time mother should be considered from two aspects
One is financial conditions. This can be divided into two points. The first point is that if you live in a rural area and have little financial pressure, you can be a full-time mother. Point 2: If you live in a city, it depends on your family situation. If the financial situation is good, you can be a full-time mother and take good care of the children. If the financial situation is not good, you can work part-time and take care of the children at the same time.
The second child is the flower of the motherland and the hope of our parents. Every parent hopes that their children will become dragons and phoenixes in the future, so we parents must make sacrifices. Only with dedication can we have hope. Although I am now Being a stay-at-home mother will be looked down upon by many people, and she will be out of touch with society. But I don’t think this is wrong. In the future, I will raise my children to be outstanding and become the pillars of the country. This means that my half-life has not been in vain, and it is all worth it. .