How can I give my child a good name?

Names are not only symbols to distinguish themselves from others, but also contain parents' ardent hopes and wishes. A good name is displayed in front of people, just like a password, waiting for you to decode; Or just like a little poem, waiting for you to enjoy it. Some names are very common at first, but the products are far-reaching and wonderful; Some names look amazing at first sight, but they are embarrassing to read carefully, which brings all kinds of misunderstandings and troubles to the communication between names and hosts.

Over the years, I have given names to babies all over the country, and many parents have consulted me after choosing their own names for their babies, from which I deeply realized the trend of learning from teachers and was deeply moved. In order to get a good name, parents usually think carefully and make great efforts. I fully understand this seriousness. China's writing is extensive and profound, with many dialects and countless homophones. Sometimes, parents don't pay attention to details when naming names, and an unintentional mistake and misunderstanding makes their hard-earned names become a beautiful embarrassment, which greatly reduces their parents' good intentions. In the process of naming many babies and giving advice to some parents who consulted me after choosing names, I gradually accumulated my own unique experience and learned that naming should not only pay attention to the overall effect, but also ignore the details. The so-called "details determine success or failure." Therefore, this paper summarizes some factors that parents may ignore when naming names. These factors are related to the quality of names, so as to arouse parents' thinking.

One: Parents' surnames even lead to misunderstanding in communication.

Children are the crystallization of parents' love, like treasures in the palm of their hands. When some parents ask me for a name, they hope that I can incorporate the surname of their children's parents into their names, such as putting the mother's surname at the end of the child's name, or putting it in the second word of the name, taking a four-character name, and even using homophonic to commemorate the mother's surname. This naming method is novel and ingenious, which can make children better understand their parents' good intentions and remember the kindness of parenting, and has its merits. However, I would like to remind parents that they should carefully consider the choice of four-character names, especially girls, and consider long-term solutions to prevent unnecessary troubles for their children in the future. In Europe and America, women take their husbands' surnames after marriage, and many women in Taiwan Province also take their husbands' surnames before marriage, such as Zhang Lishi and Wang. Giving a baby girl a four-word name may cause some misunderstandings in the future. Once, my parents asked my advice and named their baby daughter "Chen Lin Yu Ran". The name comes from the idiom "Smile". Father's surname is Chen and mother's surname is Lin. The name is beautiful and sunny, and there are few duplicate names. In my opinion, when a girl grows up, people who meet for the first time or are unfamiliar with the name may ask, "Is your husband surnamed Chen?" Isn't it embarrassing to be misunderstood and get married? Besides, when people address this girl, should they call her "natural language" or "Lin"? When asked his last name, should he answer "Chen" or "Chen Lin"? A name is like a business card. When the business card you hand to others is vague, it is not conducive to interpersonal communication. Therefore, I hope that when parents name their babies, they should not only remember the kindness of parenting, but also consider the problems that may be encountered in future interpersonal communication. I was once entrusted by a parent to name his baby boy, father surnamed Wang and mother surnamed He, and asked that their surnames be incorporated into the child's name to show my love for my wife and cherish the child. After thinking, I suggest that parents name their children "Prince He" and "Tong Tong", which are taken from the famous saying "Gentlemen are harmonious but different" in The Analects of Confucius. It has rich cultural connotation and educational significance, and at the same time "harmony" is homophonic. This method is not only ingenious, but also can avoid unnecessary troubles in children's future interpersonal communication, so that children can deeply understand the educational significance and implication contained in the name. Second, expectations are too high, and there is a contrast between subjective and objective. Names always place parents' ardent expectations on their children. From the moment it was born, it carried the expectations and hopes of parents. Parents often give their children a name with high expectations. However, development is objective and does not depend on people's subjective will. Names are just parents' expectations, and the future development of children is not necessarily the case. A parent asked me to change my child's name. The child's name is "Jun Gao". When I first took this name, I hoped that the child would grow tall, handsome and steady. However, as time went on, I found that children were shorter and looked more ordinary. When a child goes to school, people can't help whispering or snickering when they see his name. Parents are worried that this will make their children feel inferior, so they hope I can change my name. I would like to remind parents that the implication of naming their children should not be too extreme, and it is more appropriate to focus on cultural connotation and educational significance. If the name is in sharp contrast with people, the name is contrary to people's temperament, which is not conducive to children's mental health.

Three: excessive neutrality and unclear gender distinction.

Traditional parents often follow such rules when naming their children: boys tend to be masculine and girls tend to be feminine. However, in recent years, more and more parents advocate naming their children, especially girls, mainly because of the promotion of gender equality, the status of girls is improving day by day, and the requirements and expectations of society for women are also increasing accordingly. Parents also hope that their daughters can make greater achievements in addition to the gentle family care of traditional women. Such names are more novel and fashionable. For this trend, while praising Ke, I also remind everyone that neutral names are ok, but not too much. My parents in Hubei once asked me to change my baby daughter's name. The reason is that I think it is unconventional to give children a neutral name. I didn't expect the name to be so atmospheric that people thought the child was called a boy after he went to school. What makes this parent even more depressed is that when helping children to apply for documents or registration, others always fill in "male" directly in the gender column when they see their names. In addition, the daughter's personality is very gentle, which forms a great contrast with the name, giving people a very awkward impression. On the contrary, some boys' names tend to be feminine, while I am introverted, so names often become the topic of ridicule by some friends.

Four: even the name, resulting in bad homophonic.

The name itself is good, but it is funny to read it with the surname. Such names are quite common on the Internet, such as "Zhu Yiqun" (a group of pigs) and "Jiao Hougen" (heel). Although some of them are just jokes invented by netizens themselves, there are indeed examples of bad homophonic names in reality. A parent in Jiangsu asked me to change the name of his child. He confided to me that he named the child "Chang Ziqing", which is homophonic for "self-purification". He wants children to be clean, clean, pure and self-purifying. Unexpectedly, after the child went to school, people laughed at him for being "frivolous". He often loses his temper with his parents when he comes home. He was so angry that he was given such a name that he couldn't eat at all. Parents are very distressed. This homophonic effect is not what parents want, it is just a moment of carelessness. Parents are advised to read their surnames several times to avoid misunderstanding and bad homophonic.

Five: three-tone continuous reading, leading to the change of surname.

Generally speaking, the name is very suitable, but because of pronunciation problems, there are auditory errors. Not long ago, a Mr. Xu from Chongqing called me: "Doctor, what do you think of naming the child?" No matter whether Ziang's name is good or not, I immediately reminded my parents: "Is your surname Xu or Xu?" In the end, the parent gave up the name Zi Ang for a simple reason. The word "Xu" is the third sound, and so is the word "Zi". Read the two words of the third sound together. According to the rules of pronunciation, the first word should be changed into the second sound, and "Xu Ziang" should be changed into "Xu Ziang". When children introduce themselves in the future, it is easy for people to misunderstand their surnames, which is tantamount to letting themselves drift. When exchanging baby's naming experience with parents, I will pay special attention to those with the third surname, reminding parents not to give their baby the name with the first letter of the third pronunciation, and then make a choice.

Six: Excessive Westernization, mistaking China people for foreigners.

A good name must be something that every new parent is worried about. Sometimes I think about it for a long time, and finally I choose two words with beautiful literal meanings as my names. For example, "Anna", "Peace of Peace" and "Wind of Inheritance" all hope that their babies will grow up healthily and safely. The word "Na" is a disyllabic word with a graceful figure, which is very suitable for girls and expresses parents' hope that their baby will be handsome and elegant. The meaning of these two words, is very traditional China thought, girls are safe and beautiful. However, it is not difficult to find that the transliteration of "Anna", that is, the English name "Anna", is easily misunderstood as a foreigner, and the first thing that comes to mind when reading such a name is not the culture of China, but a foreign name, which is inevitably suspected of worshipping foreign things and flattering foreign countries. The good wishes pinned on the name are easily overlooked and greatly discounted.

Seven: Dialect differences, moving to a different place is a problem.

When naming names, many parents will first consider pronouncing them in their hometown dialect or Mandarin. But there are many dialects in China, so it is inevitable to go to another place, do as the Romans do and speak the local language. A parent once told me that her daughter said that her classmate's name was like a hearty meal, and her nickname was "Rousong". Originally, this classmate was born in Chaoshan and was named "Vae", which means "the sun rises and the pine and cypress are flourishing". Later, she moved to Guangzhou. The word "Vae" sounds similar to "Rousong" in Cantonese, and this person is slightly fat, so she understands. Parents may only think that it is okay to pronounce names in Chaoshan dialect and Mandarin, but never think that their children are Cantonese and will probably live and work in a Cantonese-speaking city in the future. In this way, it will be awkward to pronounce the child's name in Cantonese. Parents are advised to consider the dialects to which their children may move in the future when naming their children, so as to prevent the embarrassment of the above names.

In fact, naming is a wonderful process. As long as you are careful, I believe every parent can find a good name for their children. However, when everyone is not careful, often an unintentional mistake may bring great trouble to children in the future. The original intention of naming them is good, and eventually they will become embarrassed. I hope parents in the world will be cautious.

Naming culture is extensive and profound, and the details that are prone to misunderstanding and embarrassment are far more than the above, which need to be carefully discovered and summarized. As a doctor of ancient literature, my research and love for naming is growing day by day. Every time I give my parents a good name for their newborn baby, my joy is always beyond words. Wang Wei's poem "There is a picture in the poem, and there is a poem in the picture" left a deep impression on us. If it is named "Famous in Poetry, Famous in Poetry", it will be even more ingenious. It coincides with National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival. Since ancient times, the mountains and rivers have been clear in autumn, and even the moon is particularly bright in the Mid-Autumn Festival. It can be described as a beautiful scenery. Babies born around this festival can poetically incorporate the beauty of the Mid-Autumn Festival into their own names, which are not only beautiful and moving, but also full of commemorative significance of the festival (see the essay "Dr. Deng on the naming skills of holiday babies" for details). I hope the newly promoted parents can give the holiday baby a good name. Finally, I use a poem "Happy Mid-Autumn Festival" (Bu Dongpo rhyme) to congratulate parents and babies on their happy Mid-Autumn Festival.

Clear autumn festival on earth, rainy days in the south. Fortunately, relatives and friends from all over the world flew in to congratulate the Chinese New Year. People meet the spirit of the festive season, and there are children at home. Why is the moonlight cold? You know, it's too cold at the top, and home is on earth.

Zhouqu disaster, Yushu earthquake, sad sleepless. Shanghai World Expo and Guangzhou Asian Games have a wonderful dream. Japanese thieves were arrogant when fishing on the island, watching the rise of China to protect me. The human heart is like a bright moon, where there is no beauty.