Father and son should forget to make friends after reading 1 Mr. Feng Jicai once wrote a beautiful essay entitled "Father and son should forget to make friends". Yesterday, I took the liberty of writing this passage in my own handwriting.
Teacher Feng writes about his son as a father, and I write about the father in our younger generation as a son.
When we were young, we were associated with cigarettes. Whenever the sun sets in the western hills, after dark, my father comes back from the field with the joy of giving. Call me to my side before I wash my face and hand me the fifty cents I took out of my pocket. "Koharu, go and buy a pack of cigarettes-remember to pay forty-five cents, and use the remaining five cents to buy three pieces of sugar. Give Qiu two pieces when you come back and keep them for yourself. " At this time, before he finished, I was halfway there. Because these words are familiar to me.
At that time, I couldn't understand my father's logic of sharing sugar and why I got it. Sometimes he said humorously to me, "If you let the second child buy it, you won't get any sugar when you come back." I couldn't figure out why at that time. But I was afraid that I really couldn't get any sugar, so I tried to do it. Later, I gradually realized that my father let "responsibility" take root in my heart in the logic of sharing sugar. At that time, my father never gave me money in advance for the next day, and neither did I, because we also like the pleasure of delivering goods to our doors every day.
I have never advised my father to give up smoking because I like his leisure when he smokes. On the contrary, my biggest wish in my heart is to buy cigarettes that my father likes. Besides, I hope to honor him as a gift in the future. Admittedly, this is also an illogical idea, but this logic is completely established between us. Because understanding people is a kind of happiness and being understood is also a kind of happiness.
Really, in the past twenty years, my father and I haven't had many face-to-face conversations, which may be my fault, because I never like to pester my busy father with questions. And because I also know that he doesn't like being pestered by others.
The way of communication between us is often that when my father is tired, I pour him a glass of water, light a cigarette, and pass him a towel after listening to his face. When I was punished by my mother for making a little mistake and not allowed to eat outside the door, when I stood alone at the door, there was always a strong hand sneaking into my pocket. When he took away his hand, my pocket was bulging, and then my father's eyes were full of "You boy …" and Wan'er smiled at each other. Yes, we always have such a tacit understanding. I often think: people often say "tacit understanding", so it is!
Neither of us likes to exaggerate with words because the other has done something, because we also like the penetrating warmth that silence brings us.
My father said very little, let alone told me. He never teaches me a sermon, but he is always demonstrating, so I regard him as my role model, because I know that his actions have defeated all languages.
Among the words my father said to me, what I remember most is: "I am your father, you are my son, I am your role model, and you are my student." I have a mother and you have a mother, so you should care about your mother as much as I care about my mother, and you should care about my mother as much as I care about your mother. " Every time I think of these words, my heart will be greatly touched, so I have to show myself from time to time.
It is true that father is not clever, but he is very clever.
My father is not tall, but he is very strong.
If the mother is compared to a warm home, then the father is a safe haven. The former is the holy land to eliminate fatigue after running around, and the latter is the dependence of his son when he is wandering outside.
If the mother is compared to prose, then the father is a beautiful and philosophical short poem. The former is delicate and feminine, while the latter is profound and profound. All languages will be eclipsed before him.
As a child, the biggest duty is to deeply understand, but also to understand their parents. We should not only love them, but also learn to love them. The highest level of the relationship between parents and children is to become close friends and respect each other to better understand each other.
Father and son should forget to make friends this year. When my son was admitted to college, the gossip mentioned the cost. He suddenly said, "I have been paying my tuition with my own money since junior high school."
My wife and I were taken aback. I asked my son, "Where did you get the money?" "The usual pocket money and the lucky money for the New Year in the previous year are awkward." "Why use your own money?" I'm still confused.
The son later said to his mother, "I want to rely on myself like my father." My son has grown up at once.
The boy who played football with me all day, played with me, and was teased by me, suddenly left. When people grow up, it is not the enlargement of the body, not the soft moustache on the lips and the raised Adam's apple under the neck, but the emergence of a mature and independent personality. But how did he grow up quietly and without trace, and suddenly one day surprised me and made me strange? Is it because my eyes pay too much attention to the season of life and social life, and ignore my son who is changing quietly every day?
It turns out that in the hearts of all fathers, sons are always born. For men all over the world, the experience of being a father is different, but the feeling of being a father is roughly the same. This feeling is half from nature and half from tradition.
1976 On the night of the earthquake, I slept on the first floor. "At the moment when the earth shook, I instinctively pounced on my son's cot and held him tightly in my arms, leaving my legs bruised by bricks. Afterwards, I told you how bravely I defended my son. That kind of pride and air is actually a kind of self-enjoyment. Enjoy being a father.
As for the traditional feeling of being a father, it is the dignity of the elders, the identity of the mentor, the condescending perspective and posture ... Every generation feels this kind of father's patent from the elders, and once they become fathers, they will inherit this patent.
It is in this semi-natural and semi-traditional state that we fathers are both happy and confused. I thought I knew everything about my son, but when my son grew up, I was surprised to find that I knew nothing about him. The most familiar becomes the strangest, the nearest stands farthest and communication is blocked. Every father will face the problem of getting along with his son again.
I remember that my son never brought his classmates to my home to play since he was a child, for fear of disturbing my writing. Why don't I take this as his understanding and respect for my work? He hasn't turned over any writing paper on my desk. Why don't I see that literature is equally sacred in his heart? An old woman who looked after him said that he had never pulled other people's drawers, and he was curious and envious of other people's things ... When I linked many details that I didn't notice, I began to approach him bit by bit.
He has a world of his own for a long time, and there are many shining things in it. I didn't put my head in until today. For an adult child, don't treat him as a child, but as an independent person.
I began to try not to reason with him. Even if it was true, I just expressed it as an experience. He only stepped in when I needed him. We don't disturb each other's world, don't intrude and don't tell us what to do. This is what men should do.
I know he doesn't like to express his feelings in words, but advocates action itself. He is used to suppressing his excitement. Our personalities are just the opposite, but I learned to communicate with him in this empathetic way. For example, when I buy books in a bookstore, I often pick a few books he likes and put them on his desk without saying anything when I get home. That's how he works for me. He doesn't like to embellish, but he regards the love between father and son as inevitable as heaven and earth.
Son, in childhood, is a kind of meaning. But when I grew up, I changed. Apart from the blood relationship between father and son, I am a friend and an unforgettable friend. Only by truly becoming this kind of mutual bosom friend can we get the perfect happiness like father and son and have a real, warm and perfect life.
The sincere affection between father and son in this paper fully illustrates the responsibility of a famous father and his positive attitude of daring to face challenges.
I really hope that they can "be friends with each other in addition to the blood relationship between father and son." Only by truly becoming such unforgettable friends can we get the happiness of father and son and have a real, warm and perfect life. "