Imagine if you are in a business negotiation with a customer, and the customer says that his terms are already the most favorable and have reached the bottom line, and even act on the spot as if they would not hesitate even if the negotiation breaks down. , how do you know whether the customer has really reached the bottom line, or is just pretending to get more returns?
There is a way that allows you to rely on science instead of feelings. This method is to observe the micro-expressions of the negotiation partner. Because when people receive effective stimulation, they often involuntarily show micro-expressions that are not controlled by thinking. Microexpressions are instinctive reactions inherited and inherited by humans after long-term evolution. They cannot be deliberately "pretended" and last only 1/25 of a second. Therefore, they are the most accurate clues to understand a person's true inner thoughts.
We can judge whether the other party is lying by observing micro-expressions. In addition, when preparing for negotiations, we can take certain measures to prevent possible deception and reduce the probability of the other party lying. Today we will talk to you in detail around these two aspects.
Magical micro-expressions
Micro-expressions are magical and can be seen everywhere in our lives. For example, when you see someone you don't like, you will subconsciously wrinkle your lips and raise your upper lip, but if you see a friend you haven't seen in three years, your eyes and mouth will open wide at the same time, and you will cheer with joy.
For example, the gesture of touching the nose can reflect a person's true thoughts. Scientists at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago found that when people lie, chemicals called catecholamines are released, causing cells inside the nasal cavity to swell. Scientists have also revealed that blood pressure rises as a result of lying. Increased blood pressure causes the nose to swell, causing the nerve endings in the nasal cavity to transmit an itchy feeling, so people can only frequently rub their noses with their hands to relieve the itching symptoms. This gesture usually involves quickly rubbing the lower edge of the nose with your hand a few times, sometimes even just a slight touch. The speaker touching his nose means he is covering up a lie, and the listener making this gesture means he is doubting the speaker's words.
However, we must keep in mind that the gesture of touching the nose needs to be interpreted in conjunction with other body language. Sometimes people do this simply because they have pollen allergies or a cold.
Micro-expressions are not isolated. They must be analyzed in conjunction with the scenario. Let’s go back to the negotiation situation mentioned at the beginning of today. The first thing you have to do is to focus your attention on the other party’s Various micro-expressions, such as eyebrows raised and drawn together, and lips tightened, indicate anger. The eyebrows are raised and the mouth is open to express surprise. A raised corner of the mouth and on one side of the face shows contempt, so don't just listen to what the other person says, but observe whether his or her entire facial expression and body reactions are consistent with what he or she is saying.
Secondly, since people generally have strong psychological defenses when negotiating, especially some good negotiators are good at hiding their emotions, so at this time, you can chat with the other party about some relaxed topics. Talk about anecdotes or tell a story that are not related to what you are negotiating today. Since these contents are not important, negotiators will generally give some real reactions. From this, you can understand what the other party’s instinctive reactions and habitual reactions caused by real emotions are like, and thus obtain the other party’s “baseline reaction” ".
Then you need to be adaptable. When judging whether the subject is lying, the most important thing is to compare the subject's response with the "baseline response". If there is a difference, it is likely that the other party is lying. For example, when you make an offer and the other party shows a happy or dismissive micro-reaction, then maybe the other party originally expected a higher offer, or they suspect that you are unable to provide top-notch services. You can quickly and timely adjust your quotation plan.
When you see this, you may think that the other party’s lying during negotiation is beyond your control, and negotiation requires a high degree of concentration. I hope you can focus your limited energy on things you can control. . Of course, the doubts of these friends are understandable, but if we use the right methods, we can actually take certain measures to reduce the probability of the other party lying.
There is a definition of lying in psychology: it is the act of deliberately concealing, distorting, or fabricating false information out of thin air to mislead others while knowing the truth.
But on the other hand, lying is an instinct and a "self-defense" protection mechanism of human beings. It reflects people's anxiety and insecurity about the surrounding environment. So after we understand how lying occurs, we can use some techniques to inhibit the other party from lying from a psychological point of view.
How to restrain the other party from lying?
To inhibit the other party from lying, we can start from the following aspects.
The first is to “promote positive interactions”. Research has found that humans have a significant "reciprocity tendency" for exchanging information, which means that when others share sensitive information, most people will instinctively respond with equal candor. This is more obvious in face-to-face communication. A good way to promote positive interactions is to be the first to provide "key information." For example: you want to sell a piece of land, the price depends on the degree of development. You can tell potential buyers that you want to sell for the best price in the market. This may also allow the other party to disclose purchase plans, and at least allow both parties to discuss their interests candidly, which is very important for reaching a win-win solution.
Speaking of "key information", I also think of the "offer" in the negotiation, and the "time" for its presentation may depend on the situation. Let me tell you a little story first: When the inventor Edison was working as an electrical technician, one of his inventions was patented. The company manager expressed his willingness to buy the patent and asked him how much it would cost. At that time, Edison thought: As long as it can be sold for 5,000 US dollars, it would be great, but he did not say it directly. Instead, he replied to the manager: "You must know the value of my patent to the company, so I still ask you for the price." Tell me about it yourself." Unexpectedly, the manager said "400,000, how about it?" What else could I do? The negotiation ended happily and smoothly. This story tells us that if you can't "know yourself and the enemy", it's best to stay calm, make a quote later, obtain information from the other party's quote, and revise your thoughts in a timely manner.
Whether a "quote" is "preemptive" or "preemptive" must be handled flexibly according to different situations. Generally speaking, if you are an expert and well prepared, you should try to make the first offer to restrict the other party, because the party who bids first will often form an "anchoring effect" in the other party's mind, limiting the negotiation within a certain framework. No matter how much the other party bargains, they will basically follow the price of the first bidder. But if the other party has more say in the market, then learn from Edison in the story just now and make a quote later.
In fact, the order of "offers" can be seen as a means for both parties to prevent their negotiating positions from being damaged. In addition, there is another way that will have the same effect, which is to "conceal key information." For example, a person may want to sell his company, but only he knows that critical equipment needs to be replaced. In order to strive for a higher price, he may avoid related topics. This is where information asymmetries can arise in negotiations, so it's important to ask the other side direct questions. Because the research found that: when asked about information that may damage their bargaining power, 61% of negotiators can still answer honestly; but if they are not asked, no one will actively provide information
At this time How to avoid such risks by asking smart questions? Julia Minson, a psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, said that it is easier to get honest answers to questions asked from a negative perspective than from a positive perspective. For example, in the example about equipment just mentioned, the buyer's negotiator should not ask "The equipment is in good condition, right?" but should put forward from a negative perspective "The company will need to replace the equipment soon, right?" Because compared to affirmative misstatements, It’s harder for people to deny what’s really going on.
However, when faced with straightforward questions, some negotiation veterans will not answer directly, and many people do not have the talent to recognize this "avoidance attitude". Because researchers have found that answering questions head-on without being eloquent leaves a far less impressive impression than avoiding questions eloquently. This leads to many questioners forgetting what they were asking in the first place. What. The proverb "being stunned" refers to this phenomenon. But if the questioner deliberately remembers the question asked, he will be better able to detect the other person's "avoidance behavior." You can start by listing the questions on a piece of paper, and then write down your counterpart's answers in the margins. Every time the other person answers a question, think about whether it contains the information you need. If so, you can continue to ask.
Today I share with you the psychology of negotiation. We can focus on the other party’s micro-expressions, create a relaxed environment, obtain the other party’s “baseline reaction”, and promote positive interactions and negative perspectives. Ask questions, pay attention to avoidance behaviors, etc. to help you strive for better results in negotiations and achieve a win-win situation