You must pay attention to the occasion when speaking. If you do not pay attention to this and say something inappropriate for the atmosphere of the occasion, it will often be counterproductive to the original intention.
There is such a story:
Once upon a time, there was a man who never lied. He told the truth about everything. But it was very strange that no matter where he went, he never told the truth. Be popular. He was destitute and had literally no place to stay. Finally, he came to a monastery. After the abbot asked him the reason, he left him to settle down in the monastery.
There were several animals in the monastery that were no longer able to work. The abbot wanted to sell them, but he did not dare to send his men to the market for fear that they would keep the money from selling the animals in their pockets. . So he asked the honest man to take two donkeys and a mule to the market to sell them. An honest person only tells the truth in front of the buyer: "The donkey with the broken tail is very lazy and likes to lie in the mud. Once I tried to pull it up from the mud, and when I pulled it hard, the tail was broken; this bald donkey They were very stubborn and didn't want to go any further, so they whipped it; because it was whipped too much, its hair was all bald; this mule is old and lame." "If it can do the work, why should the monastery sell them? Drop it?" As a result, the buyers left after hearing these words. As soon as these words spread in the market, no one came to buy these animals. So the honest people drove them back to the monastery in the evening. After listening to the honest man's story about what happened in the market, the abbot said to the honest man: "Friend, those who drove you away were right. People like you should not be left! Although I like the truth, However, I don’t like the truth that goes against my pocket! So, get out of here! Go wherever you fall in love!”
In this way, the honest man came out of the monastery again. was driven away.
In ancient times, Tang Bohu was good at poetry and painting, and could also compose couplets. Once, an official and businessman asked Tang Bohu to write a couplet for him. Tang Bohu knew that this official and businessman was a man with no ideas and a blind eye for money, so he wrote for him:
Business is like a spring breeze
Finance is like flowing water
When the businessman saw it, he looked unhappy and thought that "spring breeze" and "flowing water" did not express the meaning of making a fortune. He asked Tang Bohu to write another one and made a request that it should have the meaning of making money. It doesn't matter if it's close. Tang Bohu thought for a moment, then took up a pen and rewrote:
Business in front of the door is like mosquitoes on a summer night, input and output
The copper coins in the cabinet are like lice in winter, catching more and more many.
This time the businessman was satisfied, smiled happily, kowtowed his thanks and left.
The businessman is just arty, so all he cares about is "patent". Therefore, although the latter couplet is suspected of being a joke, it satisfies the businessman.
In the last years of the Qin Dynasty, Chen Sheng rebelled in Shandong. The envoy reported the incident to the court. Qin II summoned doctors and Confucian scholars and asked: "The border guards recruited from Chu area attacked Qixian County and entered Chen area. What do you think about this matter?" More than thirty doctors and Confucian scholars He stepped forward and said, "This is a rebellion by the subjects. Rebellion is rebellion against the emperor. The crime of rebellion cannot be forgiven. I hope your majesty will send troops to attack them immediately." After hearing this, Qin II became angry. Shusun Tong quickly stepped forward and said: "Your Majesty, what everyone said is wrong. Now the world is unified, the castles in the counties and counties have been destroyed, the weapons have been destroyed, and there will be no more wars in the world. Besides, there is a wise king above, and there is no war below. There are complete laws and regulations, everyone obeys the law, and people come from all directions to submit, how can anyone dare to rebel? Chen Sheng and others are just sneaky thieves, why should they care? The county guards and county lieutenants are arresting them. There is no need to worry about being brought to justice!" Qin II said happily: "Okay! Good!" He asked the Confucian scholars to express their opinions. Some Confucian scholars said it was rebellion, while others said it was thieves. After the discussion, Qin II ordered the censor to inspect the Confucian scholars, and any Confucian scholars who said rebellion would be handed over to the government for punishment, because this was not what they should say. Anyone who calls himself a thief will not be held accountable. Because Shusun Tong's words were in line with the emperor's wishes, he was given twenty pieces of silk, a set of clothes, and appointed him a doctor.
In the second year of Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, Shusun Tong surrendered to the Han Dynasty.
When Shusun Tong surrendered to the King of Han, there were more than a hundred Confucian scholars and disciples who followed him. However, Shusun Tong did not recommend anyone to the court, but specially recommended strong men among the former bandits.
The disciples complained to him privately: "We have served your husband for several years, and we were lucky enough to defect to the King of Han with him. Now he does not recommend us, but fully recommends the cunning man. Why is this?" Shusuntong said to his disciples. : "The King of Han is braving arrows and stone rain to fight for the world. Can you Confucian scholars lead troops to fight? Therefore, now I only recommend warriors who can kill generals and raise flags. Please wait patiently for the time being. I will never forget you." The king of Han appointed Shusun Tong as a doctor, and he was known as the Sijun of Ji.
In the fifth year of King Han (202 BC), the princes worshiped King Han as emperor in Dingtao. Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty abolished the strict etiquette and regulations of the Qin Dynasty and strived to simplify everything.
Most of his ministers have not read many books, and many of them are still his childhood friends, and they do not pay much attention to politeness and etiquette. Moreover, these people have military exploits and believe that they conquered the world. They are arrogant and indulgent in their words and deeds. Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty gradually realized that a set of court etiquette should be formulated to regulate civil servants and generals in order to establish the emperor's authority and govern the world well. Shusun Tong was very familiar with the Confucian etiquette system. At first, he knew that Liu Bang was not good at Confucianism and did not dare to give advice. At this time, he observed that the emperor had the idea of ??establishing a ritual system, and said to the emperor: "Those scholars will hardly be useful in conquering the world, and they are indispensable in governing the world. Your Majesty wants to establish a court etiquette to restrain the words and deeds of his subjects. What a brilliant move. Lu is a country of etiquette. I request to recruit a group of Confucian scholars who are familiar with etiquette to work with my disciples to draft court etiquette so that all civil and military officials can follow it. Said: "It is good to formulate etiquette, but I am afraid it will be difficult to implement." So Shusun Tong was ordered to go to the state of Lu to recruit more than thirty Confucian scholars. Two Confucian scholars in Jin State refused to answer the call and said: "You have served nearly ten monarchs, and they all gained closeness and wealth by flattery in person. Now the world has just been peaceful, the dead have not been buried, and the wounded have not recovered. You also need to establish rituals and music. It takes hundreds of years for rituals and music to flourish. We don’t want to do what you do. What you do is not in line with the ancient ways. We won’t go. Please go away and don’t tarnish ours. Reputation!" Shusun Tong said with a smile: "You are really despicable and pedantic nerds, you don't know how to act according to the changes of the times."
It can be seen from this that we must adapt to different occasions and situations. Only when the time comes can success be achieved.