I have been hesitating before writing this article because I don’t have the guts to make my ugly crimes public. I feel very embarrassed and ashamed! But in order to make more people awaken in lust, I decided to write down my past experiences and current situation so that everyone can take a warning! ! !
When I was in the first grade of junior high school, I learned the trick due to the guidance of bad friends. With the mentality of giving it a try, I took the first sinful step. From then on, I couldn't control the pleasure of handjob. I handjob when no one is around during the day, handjob at night when I sleep, handjob when taking a shower, and even when I use the toilet! So many times that I ran into the bathroom to masturbate even though I didn't want to go to the bathroom, for no other purpose than the pleasure! I dated a girlfriend when I was in the first year of junior high school, and I continued to work like this until I was about to graduate in the third year of junior high school. I was finally about to take the graduation exam, and my brain was very unruly. My head was often heavy, my palms and soles were warm, and I couldn't sleep at night. Sleep. I used to like playing football, but since I started playing football, I have obviously lost my physical strength. I am out of breath within a few minutes of running. The exam day is getting closer and closer, but I can't muster any energy. When reviewing, I feel like dawdling. Finally, retribution came. The school announced that because my results in the mock exam were extremely unsatisfactory, the school was afraid that it would affect my reputation and ban me from taking the exam! When I heard the news, my mind buzzed. I cried that day, very sadly! It was finally time to graduate. My classmates were all admitted to their ideal high schools, but I stayed at home, living every day under the blame of my parents. The most frightening thing is that the more unhappy I become, the more I use my hands. It seems that only playing games can comfort my wounded heart. Finally, my parents found a middle school for me through some connections, and I secretly vowed to go to college to give my parents a good reputation. Around the time I was in my first year of high school, my girlfriend of three years suddenly left me and started another relationship, and I could only live in sadness. There is a saying that dogs cannot change eating shit! When I entered high school, not only did I not change my bad habits of handcrafting, but I also changed them! Almost every day, my mind was filled with thoughts of obscene things, and then I couldn't help but put my hands into my crotch... Just like that, I was in my senior year of high school again, and my original ambitions no longer existed. I was like mud. I would fall asleep as soon as I opened the book. There was no energy left to study. My crafting almost consumed all my energy! Finally one day greater retribution came! While I was studying in class, my heartbeat suddenly started to beat wildly, and my emotions were extremely high and I couldn't control myself. I rushed out of the classroom immediately. My heart was beating so fast that I felt like I was going to die! I had a very strong sense of dying, and I ran home crying. My family immediately took me to the hospital for an electrocardiogram test. The highest heart rate at that time was 140 beats per minute! The doctor prescribed a lot of medicines for me, but none of them were of any use. My "heart attack" would occur from time to time, and it was like this until the college entrance examination. I think by writing this, everyone probably expected that I would be admitted to college in this state. It's impossible. Yes, I failed! Even I didn’t expect the score to be so low! My parents were hit the hardest this time, and my dad cried. Because I failed the exam, I was very stressed and locked myself in the house all day long. The saddest thing is that I still have Ying in hand. Finally, I couldn't bear the pressure anymore and my spirit collapsed! Bedridden! My whole body felt like a deflated rubber ball with no energy at all. I felt extremely depressed and eventually I suffered from depression. I lay in bed like this for three months, feeling like I was waiting to die. In the end, my father was still unwilling to give in and used his connections to find me a university. But how did he know that my current situation was extremely bad! I have no ability to learn at all! ! ! But I had no choice but to promise my father! When I entered college, I felt that I was in a very bad state. I was so dizzy that I had almost no thinking ability, and my body was extremely weak. In the end, I just stayed in bed every day and stopped going to class. But at this time, I still haven't completely gotten rid of my ying, and I make it a few times from time to time. If my class teacher hadn't been kind-hearted and thought I was sick when he saw my appearance, and used his connections to help me graduate smoothly, otherwise I might have disappointed my father again.
Although I have a diploma, I feel very disgraceful!
The next step was to find a job. At this time, I met a female netizen and had an affair. During this period, I even had a one-night stand with a young lady! With no income I had to find a job. The first application failed! The second application failed! The third application failed! It failed until the eighteenth time! So I began to wonder if I was destined to be unlucky? So I found a master who knew how to calculate horoscopes. This master was indeed very accurate. But it was his last words that changed me! Before leaving, he told me that if you want your life to improve, you must convert to Buddhism, otherwise not even God can save you! So I walked into the temple with the attitude of giving it a try. Gradually I was influenced by Buddhism and started chanting sutras, burning incense and worshiping Buddha. Maybe it's because of my talent. I'm making good progress and gradually understand some things. Finally I converted and became a lay Buddhist. I finally understood why my fate was so unlucky. It turned out to be all caused by evil! So I changed my ways and never tried again! It didn't work at first, but sometimes I couldn't help but do it again, so I simply soaked myself in Buddhist scriptures, read Buddhist scriptures when I had nothing to do, and went to the temple to worship Buddha! As I progressed in Buddhism, my concentration gradually became better and better, and I was able to control my behavior and thoughts. During this period, I also let go of the scriptures. Finally, I started quitting sex in November 2006, and for a whole year until today, I have never committed any sexual misconduct, let alone found a girl! So I am really grateful to Buddha and Bodhisattvas! Thank you Dharma! It made me face myself and life again. Now I have a decent job, a fiancée who loves me very much, and my health is recovering well. I have no problem walking up to the 16th floor in one breath! I have undergone such great changes in just one year since I started quitting, which shows that Buddhism is true! So everyone must do more good and less evil! Ying is the leader of all evil! ! ! Even people with such severe hand problems like mine can quit, and I believe you can too! Have confidence in yourself! Have faith in Buddha and Bodhisattvas! We must have more confidence in Buddhism! Here I wish my friends who are recovering from illness to make brave progress! Don't give in to lust! Be a good man who is upright and upright! ! !