Private: I have an explosive news for you.
Qizhi: My sister is married.
Private: My grandmother passed away.
Qizhi: We have already sent out an invitation at the village radio station.
Private: I played funeral music on the radio all day.
Anecdotes: villagers (accompanied by soldiers' sorrows and joys), fathers and villagers, on this big day, my sister and
My brother-in-law died unfortunately, and both the village chief and the director of women attended the memorial service-stop!
Who died? Who died? There you are. Bah ... Bo.
Soldier: I seem to have heard that your sister and brother-in-law died unfortunately.
Qizhi: I let your sadness and joy bother you so much that Bobo almost didn't give the village head to Bobo when he came up.
Soldier: You too. Will I kill my people if you marry me?
Qizhi: I'm glad to hear your sadness and joy. How annoying you are.
Soldier: I met him. what can I do?
Private: Don't get me wrong. We are villagers in the same village.
Qizhi: Ah, our village has some money in hand these two years.
Private: I have made a fortune in the past two years.
Qizhi: This man has to compare everything with me.
Private: I can't miss anything.
Qizhi: You said my sister got married. Can you compare with me?
Soldier: You said I was dead, so I can't compare with you.
Qizhi: My sister won't mix styles when she gets married for the first time. I must do a good job.
Soldier: If you don't fuck me, I will stop breathing for the fourth time.
Qizhi: The first three times were all turned back halfway.
Soldier: This time, I guess she is basically in trouble.
Qizhi: I finally closed my eyes.
Soldier: I will have a wonderful celebration.
Qizhi: He wants to celebrate again.
Soldier: I mourned her once.
Qizhi: That's more like it. I requested a song on TV and spent 50,000 yuan to make my sister get married and never divorce.
Private: 50,000 yuan for a song.
Qizhi: I let him broadcast it for half a year. At first the director didn't agree to see how much I paid. He just postponed the broadcast time.
Soldier: When?
Curiosity: 2: 30 p.m.
Soldier: that will change the night song (funeral music)
Qizhi: After the broadcast, two sentences were left on TV.
Private: Goodbye.
Qizhi: Good night.
Private: One thing.
Qizhi: My family has been able to sleep at 2: 30 in the evening for half a year.
Private: Go to bed early.
Qizhi: Isn't going to bed early a waste of my money?
Soldier: stingy, you are not as good as me. To show my filial piety, I spent 654.38+10,000 yuan to advertise in the newspaper for one month.
Wande: 6.5438+10,000 yuan
Private: There is a huge portrait of my grandmother on it.
Qizhi: Why didn't I see it?
Soldier: I didn't even see it. Finally found it. It's the fourth edition, the small print at the bottom.
Qizhi: You also have a huge photo.
Soldier: Looking at it with a magnifying glass, it will be very big.
Qizhi: Your microscope is still very shocking.
Soldier: I know. This is a portrait of my grandmother.
Qizhi: I don't know?
Private: I don't know I put up a security sign here.
Miracle: patented products
Soldier: Search beside him. You are older than him. I don't care. I cheated. I didn't give him money when I registered.
Qizhi: You are not as good as me. 50 thousand. I only gave him 500
Soldier: I admire your meanness. You are the first.
Qizhi: Cheating. You are the champion.
Qizhi: The villagers came to the east end of our village.
Private: villagers come to the west end of our village.
Qizhi: There is a wedding in the east of our village.
Private: We have a grand memorial service here.
Qizhi: We are very busy here.
Private: Our side is exciting.
Qizhi: We are lucky here.
Soldier: We are very happy here.
Qizhi: We are greeted with a smile here.
Soldier: You can't win by cheating here.
Qizhi: We are soliciting customers. What happened? What did this rob you of?
Private: one more person and one more penny.
Qizhi: Everything is better than mine. We have set up eight cauldrons here.
Soldier: We have built ten big stoves.
Qizhi: Yes, we are cooking.
Private: I don't know I thought we were making steel again.
Qizhi: We invited 80 chefs.
Private: I invited 120 ladies.
Qizhi: What do you want with a dead woman?
Soldier: That makes you hire so many chefs.
Qizhi: I have many cooks and security guards. I'm afraid of losing things.
Private: Miss 120 in my room looks bright and beautiful.
Qizhi: We have received a lot of bride price here.
Private: We charge a high fee for this account.
Qizhi: Oh, our wife has collected half of the oral liquid here, and now she is washing it at our house.
Take a bath, take a bath with Taitai oral liquid.
Soldier: Oh, this is bath water, right? You are not as good as me. There are so many blankets that I can't help it. Finally, I only give you a dollar.
Wholesale crushed six skulls on the spot, can you believe it?
Qizhi: We have a collection of more than a dozen color TVs here.
Soldier: We collected 20 urns.
Qizhi: What are you doing with so many things?
Soldier: What are you doing with the color TV?
Qizhi: I have a color TV in a room. I have the biggest color TV in the toilet. I sing karaoke while I go to the bathroom.
Soldier: Why don't you prepare one of my 20 urns (ah, 20 urns) for my family?
(It's scary) The last four extra ones are really unwanted. A: What should I do? ) I took them out for money.
Qizhi: Do you have this thing for money?
Soldier: This is the only insurance. (Ah) Who dares to steal the urn?
Qizhi: We have supper here.
Soldier: We have food here.
Qizhi: We have North and South dishes here.
Soldier: We have raw seafood here.
Flag: Our Man-Han Banquet
Private: We have diarrhea here.
Qizhi: I tell you, we eat badly here.
Qizhi: We can drink this good wine at will.
Soldier: We can smoke freely here.
Qizhi: Our good wine was sprayed into the fountain.
Soldier: We smoke like this here.
Qi Zhi: Don't smoke less.
Private: Great.
Qizhi: We have souvenirs here. When we leave, it's time for us to lead such a big live person to deliver the pot and take the water fish home. Singing: Sister Yang Qizhi got married and took the tortoise home. How interesting!
Soldier: Why don't I (ah) send a photo to everyone here?
Curious: Who got the photo?
Private: my grandmother's.
Qizhi: Who dares to take this portrait?
Private: The portrait is on the front.
Qizhi: What about the opposite side?
Soldier: The sexy star Madonna is a treasure.
Qizhi: We invited 20 professional and funny people to set off the atmosphere.
Soldier: We have 30 people crying here.
Qizhi: I tell you, our professional joke is about the wedding ceremony, and now we have to laugh for three hours at a stretch.
Soldier: As soon as we said the memorial service began, they cried. Anyway, I cried for five hours before I gave the money.
Qizhi: We all laughed and cried. They say it is not easy for us to earn so little money. We laughed and our faces cramped.
Soldier: We cried and cried here. (Ah) They said that none of us really cried.
Qizhi: The two teams meet at the entrance to the village.
Private: This is a mess.
Qizhi: Tell us about our experience.
Soldier: Did you eat well there?
Qizhi: What are we doing here? A table 10 people carry a bowl of meatballs, only eight.
Soldier: There were two more in 2008.
Qizhi: Ah, once it's out of the pot, let the chef taste it and it's gone.
Private: There are more cooks.
Qizhi: When a young man sat at this table and scooped up five pills with a spoon and swallowed them, our faces changed.
Soldier: It's very hot.
Qizhi: I brought another plate of braised pork. I only have three. I can't be polite. I can't be calm. I can't be silent. I went up with chopsticks!
Private: Take two pieces.
Qizhi: I even took the plates.
Soldier: You are really good. We're still a little short.
Qizhi: How bad is your place?
Soldier: We can't even eat food here. In this case, the lady walked with food and she tasted it.
Qizhi: Hey, Miss 120 is not enough for them to eat.
Soldier: It's my turn to sit here. There is only vegetable soup left. I ate two plates of soup and soaked rice.
Qizhi: Oh, that's disgusting!
Soldier: I can't play here anymore.
Qizhi: What should I do?
Private: I'll look at the kitchen door myself.
Qizhi: Eat as soon as it's out of the pot.
Private: See my mother when we arrive.
Qizhi: What's the matter?
Private: Hundreds of people are standing in the dark.
Qizhi: Beggars are invited.
Private: I don't know who called for the robbery.
Qizhi: It's over. There was a riot.
Soldier: I rushed into the kitchen and ate at random. I squeezed in. Look, there is no broom.
Qizhi: Look at this meal.
Soldier: I caught a cabbage and two onions for half an hour.
Qizhi: What should I do?
Soldier: Then I'm welcome. I ate with soy sauce.
Qizhi: Why don't you come here to eat? (Ah) How much do we have here? With your physique, you can catch some cooked food.
Have to eat.
Soldier: I'm not coming. I made a favor to 200 yuan here and haven't eaten yet. Besides, we will need it soon.
Lottery.
Qizhi: You still get the prize when you die.
Soldier: Ah, our first prize is 30,000 yuan.
Qizhi: Then you are not as good as our side. The lottery return rate here is 80%, and now I have won.
12 pack of washing powder
Soldier: You are not as interesting as us.
Qizhi: How can we have fun?
Private: We have 10 mahjong table here.
Qizhi: We all have dice games here.
Private: We are playing video games around the coffin here.
Wonder: Our new house is haunted.
Soldier: We have a dance in the mourning hall.
Miracle: Our bride danced on the bed.
Soldier: We still have programs to watch here.
Qizhi: Our song and dance party to warmly celebrate Yang Qizhi's sister's wedding ceremony begins now.
Soldier: Let's pay tribute to Mrs. Wang. The cross talk sketch contest begins now.
Qizhi: First of all, thank you for coming.
Private: Thank you for your red envelope.
Qizhi: On this big day.
Private: We are very sad.
Qizhi: Let's bless the bride and groom.
Private: Rest in peace. Amen.
Qizhi: It's a shame to mix any longer. You handle your funeral. Oh, we danced well in the west of the village.
We are singing and dancing. Those two girls are beautifully dressed. See them from a distance.
It's almost naked. Take a closer look, it's really that short without clothes.
I can't see the village director, the village head, the mayor, or my uncle.
After sitting in the front row, I watched it for a long time ... ) I didn't dare to go out for three days and got my hair done at home.
Is the towel hot?
Soldier: You are not as good as me.
Qizhi: What about you?
Soldier: I'm busy here. I'm dancing in a group dance. I'm jumping. I'm jumping over the coffin.
main points
Qizhi: Then what group dance do you do?
Soldier: My grandmother rolled out.
Qizhi: Oh, it's so scary!
Soldier: Later, when I danced, I found a lead dancer in front. It's so exciting.
Qizhi: We invited famous singers to entertain us.
Soldier: Oh, which one are you entertaining?
Qizhi: Ah, I'm tired. I am tired. I just rushed to the west of the village happily.
(The deceased) is singing (on our side). Next, I will sing a song for happy people.
Soldier: yo-yo, who is it for?
Miracle: pull for happiness.
Private: The happy (the dead) are on our side.
Qizhi: What's this side?
Private: get married.
Qizhi: Oh, then I'll sing Ghost to the living.
(singing)
Private: Yu Yu
Qizhi: Ah, ah, why are you yelling like a donkey?
Soldier: What if you want to sing a dead song? What's the matter? ) That's a song that you can't live long after you get married.
Kai Zhi: Ah, I sang the wedding song "Is there a car in heaven?"
Soldier: You can't sing this either. Haunted.
Qizhi: Why is it haunted here? Ah, ah, where is my service fee?
Private: labor costs. Is it necessary to go to the toilet?
Qizhi: Rock stars all smell like this.
Private: Hehe, you still have to work. Will you be disabled?
Qizhi: You are going to hit someone. It almost killed me.
Private: Ignore him. Our memorial song and dance party will continue.
Qizhi: That's where they started.
Soldier: This is the female chorus "Ah" by Liu (the old lady) and He.
Qizhi: Three old ladies.
Soldier: All three are coffin suits. Let's go (this one has to be memorized). Dear Wang Laoai, it's me.
The living Ma You.
Miracle: Comrades of Matan Arena
Soldier: Your death is a great loss to us.
Kai Zhi: We feel extremely sad.
Soldier: Since I lost you as a gunner.
Qizhi: Yes.
Private: Our income has dropped greatly.
Qizhi: She is our second artillery now.
Soldier: We rehearsed a memorial program. I hope you will like it. Please listen to the girls' chorus.
Together: "Farewell to comrades"
Wonder: prepare three.
Together: (singing out of tune, quarreling)
Qizhi: I said I want to fly solo.
Soldier: You are a soloist. You can't sing.
Qizhi: You are the second.
Soldier: Your luck is worse than mine. You lent me the money from 5 yuan yesterday, but you haven't paid me back.
Qizhi: I used the money to buy food.
Soldier: This is Lippi.
Qizhi: I just don't give it.
……
Soldier: I said I can sing well alone.
Qizhi: One person is a solo, and the three of us are a chorus.
Together: (Singing: Going to the Western Heaven, silent, with tears in my eyes and a mahjong sound in my ear, Ma You, Ma You, dear.
Wang Manmian's love is so lively tonight.
Soldier: At this moment, my grandmother sat up from the coffin.
Qizhi: Why are you sitting up?
Private: She also sang a song.
Qizhi: What song does she sing?
Soldier: Actually, I don't want to leave. Actually, I want to stay.
Qizhi: Go back!
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