The main function of description is to make the object of description more real and vivid, giving people the feeling of being there. The article is beautiful and vivid, and description is essential.
Example 1
Hu Fenfen was left alone before jumping off the viaduct. At this time, the crossbar has risen to 1. 35 meters, one centimeter higher than last year's women's high jump record. The whistle of the game sounded and I saw Hu Fenfen galloping forward. Less than half a meter away from the crossbar, she jumped over the crossbar and broke the record of the school sports meeting.
Disadvantages: This passage is only over 100 words in total. The scene where Hu Fenfen really broke the high jump record in one sentence is not specific, only twenty or thirty passes.
Modify strategy: decompose action description and reproduce action details.
When the whistle sounded, Hu Fenfen jumped a few times in situ, habitually pressing his left leg, then pressing his right leg, straightening up and taking a deep breath. At this time, he took a brisk and powerful step and rushed to jump over his head. (Run-up) When approaching the high jump, a sharp turn and one foot on the ground are almost completed at the same time. Before the audience could blink, her head and shoulders had crossed the crossbar, and then she held out her chest, abdomen and waist. This was a "back-crossing". (End) ... "Success!" Breaking the school record, the applause thundered around, and the crossbar on the elevated platform seemed to jump. (Landing)
Exercise: shoot, shoot
C Ronaldo rushed to the front of the penalty area with the ball, flew up and kicked the ball into the net.
Modify the strategy: break down C Ronaldo's wonderful shooting action into five small moves:
Then the five small moves are described in detail in turn.
(1) catch the ball; (2) the ball; 3 people; ④ Avoid
Goalkeeper; 5 shooting.
C Ronaldo got up in the middle of the station to tuck in his abdomen, caught his partner's high ball and was used to hitting his calf gently. The ball magically jumped over the head of the opposing defender. He jumped up quickly, with a flexible and realistic fake action, took the ball around the sniper of the other three defenders, rushed into the restricted area, cleverly avoided the goalkeeper who had jumped in front of him, and started sideways, and the ball slammed into the net.
Example 2
I was reading a Chinese book in the dead of night. At this moment, my mother pushed the door in with a glass of milk.
Mother said, "Qian Qian, the senior high school entrance examination will be held tomorrow. Stop reading tonight, drink milk and go to bed early! " " .
I said, "I don't want to drink, I want to watch it for a while." Mother said, "You'd better go to bed early for tomorrow's exam." .
After listening to my mother, I was very angry and said, "Stop it! I can't even look at it! " .
Disadvantages: monotonous and straightforward
Modification strategy: add verbs and adjectives to modify and enhance descriptive.
In the dead of night, I am still looking through my Chinese book in confusion, but I can't understand it at all. At this time, my mother gently pushed the door and came in, holding a cup of hot milk in her hand.
"Qian Qian, the senior high school entrance examination will be held tomorrow. Don't read tonight, drink milk and go to bed early! " Mom said with concern with a smile.
Although I know my mother's mind, my irritability has turned me into a hedgehog, and my mother has become the object of venting.
"I don't want to drink. I don't even have time to read. Do I still have time to drink milk? " I don't look up, my heart is as short-tempered as grass.
"You'd better go to bed early for the exam tomorrow, or you'll be listless tomorrow." There was a hint of anxiety in my mother's tone.
"You leave me alone! I can't read my book! " I yelled at my mother.
Example 3
The paper was handed out, and I got 100 in Chinese. I am very happy. However, several students said that I plagiarized and made many sarcastic remarks in front of me, which greatly stimulated me and increased my confidence in learning.
Disadvantages: This very vague narrative is quite representative in the exam composition. How do students satirize me, how do they stimulate me, and how is my mentality not specific.
Modify strategy: change narrative to description
The results have been published. Ha, 100 points, long live! I want to sing and dance, and I want all people I know or don't know to share my happiness. Several classmates came over and I greeted them with a smile, ready to accept their congratulations. I don't know what came into my ears was a string of sarcasm: "Look at that arrogance, the sparrow has become a phoenix!" " ""well, I'm proud of copying! " "Hee hee hee hee ..." "Ha ha ha ..." Boom! As soon as my brain exploded, the warm sunshine in front of me became chilly. I want to cry and cry to my heart's content! No, I can't cry! I want to use more 100 points to prove to them that my sparrow can become a phoenix!
Example 4
A little girl stood by the flower bed, and her thin little hand slowly reached out to the most blooming chrysanthemum. As soon as her fingertips touched the petals of chrysanthemum, she suddenly shrank back. She looked around warily, then stretched out her little hand and stopped beside the chrysanthemum. She took a deep breath, touched her little hand, cut off the stem of the chrysanthemum and flew away with a chrysanthemum.
gongbi painting
In the most prominent place in the article, or the place that can best express the character, the author should spare no effort to describe it in detail. The more delicate the description, the more beautiful the language, and the more likely it is to infect and impress readers.
Example 5: Vivid description of exam composition
A car carries a cauldron, a bag of dough, a bag of parsley and onions, a basket of eggs, and several plastic bottles filled with spices. A rusty tin box shook the lonely coin with a nail.
She is a short middle-aged woman, always wearing an apron full of oil stains, smiling at passers-by and showing jagged teeth. He stood silently, collecting money and delivering things.
She just expected someone to stop in front of the car, and then happily agreed, skillfully pushed the dough away, sprinkled the ingredients and fried it on the pot. He opened the mouth of the plastic bag with both hands, let her gently stuff it into the breakfast, handed it to the customer and took the money.
-"They"
Second, turn the abstract into concrete.
1. Interpret abstract concepts with concrete examples in life.
Example 6: Details of Love
In the pouring rain, the young mother took her daughter by the hand and crossed the road carefully, although the rain dripped quietly on the young mother's back; In the warm sunshine, an elderly couple walked to the depths of the park with help, although they stumbled; In the dim light, the little grandson is jumping in front of his grandfather, holding his hand, although he doesn't understand his joy and happiness ... great selfless and sincere love is an indispensable scenery in the world.
Example 7: concretization of maternal love
Many past scenes suddenly came to my eyes: the best sheets at home, facing the best room, the best flowerpot, the best food, and even the most exquisite bowl when eating. ...
-Qiao Ye's "sunshine zone"
Example 8: What is a sense of responsibility can be specifically elaborated by borrowing the deeds of responsible Chinese and foreign celebrities:
The sense of responsibility is a model for which Zhu Gekongming devoted himself. The sense of responsibility is a public servant monument set up by Kong Fansen to leave his hometown and mother and shed blood on the plateau. The sense of responsibility is Beethoven's symphony of destiny, challenging life and surpassing oneself. The sense of responsibility is Pavel Colta King's tenacious struggle and love for life.
Such a vivid exposition makes the composition language suddenly flexible.
Examples of exercises: happiness, tolerance, youth …
2. Clever use of metaphor
Clever use of metaphor can achieve the effect of turning abstraction into concreteness, turning barren into fullness, and turning rough into delicacy. Make the article charming, radiant and charming.
For example, the phrase "Spring is coming" means "Spring is coming". However, the author uses personification, regards spring as a beautiful little girl, and walks towards us with light steps, which can better show the loveliness and affection of spring than Spring is coming.
Another example is: "Spring is like a little girl, dressed up and walking with a smile." In a word, the author uses metaphor to write a vivid and expressive live wave with beautiful and dynamic characteristics.
Another example is "Spring is like a newborn baby. It's new from head to toe and still growing. Spring is like a little girl, dressed up and walking with a smile. Spring is like a strong young man with iron arms, waist and feet. He led us forward. "
After describing the spring perfectly, the author praised it heartily with the method of parallelism, further revealing that spring has unstoppable creativity and infinite hope. The use of parallelism here not only makes the words have a sense of rhythm and beauty, but also facilitates the expression of feelings, killing two birds with one stone. The three figurative metaphors, gradually juxtaposed and magnificent, suddenly summed up the full text powerfully, which really made people deeply moved.
Example 9:
Happiness is a naughty bird. When I was looking for or staring at her, I didn't know that she had quietly landed on my shoulder, but I ignored her existence because I looked around.
I want to thank life, thank life and feel happiness with my heart. I will find that happiness is not a bird in the distant clouds. She jumps around me, and I can even count her feathers-just feel it with my heart.
Comments: Very aura. Analogy turns abstraction into concreteness, and language expression is full of interest.
Example 10:
Listening is the flower of the soul. Listening can reflect the light of pure enthusiasm. Listening is a breeze that can blow away the haze hanging over people's hearts; Listening is a meteor that breaks through the night and can bring hope to people; Listening is an unparalleled flower, which can bloom the core of life in exchange for people's appreciation and trust. -"Listen"
Here, the author compares listening to the breeze and shooting stars to making abstract things tangible.
Example 1 1:
Bringing a smile to life is like the sun shining on the earth, the breeze touching the warmth of the forest, the fiery glow of the sunset burning heaven, and the passion of the waves washing away rocks. ...
-"Bring a smile to life".
Of course, the use of rhetorical devices should be based on the needs of the language environment. There are many rhetorical devices in writing, such as antithesis, exaggeration, rhetorical questions and so on. If used properly, the language of the composition will surely come alive.
Third, appropriate quotation adds luster.
Famous aphorisms, poems, songs and sayings have stood the test of time and are the best in the language treasure house. Proper quotation in writing can enhance the appeal and shock of the article, give people rational beauty and artistic beauty, greatly add luster to the article, and also show the examinee's rich cultural background.
Example 12: Feel the beauty of literature;
Literature contains endless treasures of ideological beauty: the tragic beauty of "the wind is rustling and the water is cold, and the strong men are gone forever." The beauty of lofty sentiments, the beauty of ambition, one day I will ride the wind and waves, sail straight up and cross the deep sea, the beauty of philosophy and the beauty of nature. Beautiful and charming, let me "indulge in it, I don't know where to go." I know. Literature has been branded in my heart and cannot be erased. I will continue to water it with diligent spring water until it bears fruit. The author strolls along the corridor of classical poetry, climbs up the stairs, blends into the realm of self, makes poetry flow with emotion, expresses his feelings about the beauty of literature, weaves a strong bookish atmosphere and shows the author's talent.
There is no scenery on the earth. Read, a thick cultural history. The grandeur of "the desert is lonely and straight, and the long river sets the yen" is a landscape; The sadness of "when is the bright moon, asking for wine from heaven" is the scenery; "One day, I will ride the wind and waves, and set my cloudy sail straight and bridge the deep, deep sea" pride and self-confidence is a kind of scenery; "How much sorrow can there be, just like a river flowing eastward" is like a landscape. Thick and profound culture is an indispensable landscape in the world.
Fourth, temper the words and strengthen the expressive force.
Verb reconciliation
Mr. Lu Xun's description of catching birds in the snow in From the Herbarium to the Moon in Santan is as follows: "Sweep away a piece of snow, expose the ground, set up a big bamboo curtain with a short stick, sprinkle some chaff under it, tie a long rope on the stick, and people will hold it from a distance and watch the birds come down to peck." When they reach the bottom of the screen, they will pull the rope and cover it. " It uses a series of verbs, such as sweeping, revealing, supporting, paving, tying, pulling, watching, pulling and covering, and describes in detail all kinds of actions when catching birds in the snow, accurately, vividly and hierarchically describing the whole process of catching birds, and writing out the surprise and excitement when children catch birds.
Look at a passage in the article "Squirrel" I learned: They have a handsome face, sparkling eyes, vigorous bodies, brisk limbs and are very agile and alert. Buffon used four adjectives to describe the face, eyes, body and limbs of the squirrel, which accurately described the external characteristics of the squirrel and made the image of the squirrel lively.
The use of reduplicated words can not only make the description more accurate, but also make the language have a sense of rhythm, thus making the language full of musical beauty. Such as light, slow, soft, quiet and sparse combing in Zhu Ziqing's Spring, light, slight, slow and slow in Bing Xin's Little Orange Lantern, and so on.
Pay attention to the change and diversification of sentence patterns. For example, in "Jingle Bells", "The owner of the car stood steadily in the car, jerked and shook, and the whip trembled in the air, suddenly shaking out a beautiful fox shape". According to the format of long sentence-short sentence-long sentence, it shows the joy of the people in the Great Northern Wilderness during the harvest, and the writing has a sense of rhythm.
A series of synonyms, synonyms or antonyms can also be used in the composition to make the language rich in changes; Pay attention to the change of emotional color of words, so as to make the feelings of composition language clear.
These are just some language skills in the process of writing. To really improve the ability of language use, besides skills, we should also pay attention to the usual observation and thinking, learning and accumulation, and writing application.
Example 13:
"I am looking for your beautiful trace in spring", and the sentence "looking for" seems very dull, such as "I click on the whole spring to find your beautiful trace", which is expressive because of the use of the network language "click", which makes the static narrative bring vivid action.
When a person writes about the warm feeling after returning home, when he writes: "There is a blue flame running under the pot", he thinks about how to use a more appropriate and emotional verb. After careful consideration, he used another verb, which immediately made the whole sentence warm as spring. "
practise
He changed it like this: ""
We must understand that when choosing words and making sentences, we should avoid platitudes, avoid following others' advice, and create words with personal "patents".
The blue flame licked the bottom of the pot.
Skillfully use adjectives, modifiers and reduplications.
"In the morning, the sun shines in my bedroom, birds flap their wings and sing in the trees." Such sentences are not enough to reflect the author's pleasant mood when enjoying nature.
In the morning, the bright sunshine shines softly in my bedroom, and the light birds flap their wings and sing softly in the trees. The effect of expression is much stronger.
Five, the sentence is lively, and the whole is combined with the dispersed phase.
The whole sentence is solemn and powerful, symmetrical and harmonious, showing a kind of overall beauty; Some whole sentences are properly interspersed in prose, which is holistic, uneven, symmetrical and musical! There are both smooth melodies and sonorous rhythms, which enhance the expression effect.
When writing, if you can use a variety of sentence patterns, you can use the whole, scattered or scattered, with uneven levels and ups and downs; Both scenery description and narrative reasoning can change posture and give people a sense of beauty.
Example 14: My sense of happiness
Having youth is happiness. Sixteen, the same age as flowers. Young and vigorous, I have enough time, enthusiasm and energy to study, struggle and create. With youth, I can think freely. With youth, I can be full of hope for the future. In youth, we are unwilling to be lonely, with shyness, persistence, turmoil, struggle and high heads. I want to plant the seeds of happiness in the season of youth.
The language is refined, fluent, beautifully written, and the sentence pattern combination is perfect, which embodies the flexibility of writing, is rich in phonology and gives life to the composition.