Now on the dam, the bride price to be more and more, this year I actually heard of 50,000. In order to become a family spend a lot of money, from the men and women to meet, under the bride price, set the wedding date to hold a wedding ceremony, every step of the way have to be a few thousand or even thousands of dollars, coupled with the cover of the new house of spending, at least have to spend five or six million yuan, more than seventy or eighty thousand. In some places, in order to be able to marry a daughter-in-law, some young men start to work and save money from their teenage years. In order to make more money, they often choose the labor-intensive work, and it is too late to learn any skills, which creates a vicious circle, the poorer the more no opportunity to develop.
Originally earned some money to do something of their own, but can not not pay the bride price of tens of thousands of dollars. If you use this money to learn some skills, our future life is certainly much happier than selling hard labor, but the backward thinking makes us more and more backward. Starting from the matchmaker's doorstep, every step is inseparable from money! The "bride price" is getting heavier and heavier, and it has already pushed people to the brink of exhaustion. Some work hard for a year, the money earned is not enough to send a bride price; this has seriously affected the improvement of the quality of culture, and even for the bride price to hurt the peace of many people. Parents too much meddling in the marriage, more intensified after the marriage of contradictions, after the marriage of several years not to board the mother-in-law's door is not uncommon.
I don't know if it's because I'm a man, and it affects the perspective in this matter, I hope there are women who can speak here and say what you think. Do you dare to speak to your colleagues in the big city about the custom of talking about marriage in our hometown? One of my classmates once said, "If you have the means to find a partner, don't look for one in the dam. The bride price is not to say, the idea has been seriously corrupted". I'm not sure if I'm a good person, but I'm not a good person, and I'm not a good person.
Ugh ！！！！！！
Author: 219.238.54.* 2005-7-18 20:45 Reply to this statement
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2 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
Nobody said anything?
By 219.238.54.* 2005-7-19 08:29 In reply to this statement
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3 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
Let me say a few words, the dam to the bride price money is indeed a vicious circle, so that the hometown people are getting poorer and poorer, the main idea is still backward, the root cause in fact, is the vision is not put out of sight, did not go out.
I just want to say a few words about my situation and thoughts: these years outside, because they are gradually growing up, mature, have their own independent thinking. I've had a lot of disagreements with my family, and at first I was miserable, but then I slowly figured it out. Parents are in that kind of thinking environment for most of their lives, you try to change their minds, very difficult, or you will be a benevolent and unrighteous reputation. (Although this is not the case), sometimes, they put out what they think is very right, will make you laugh and cry, but at the same time will give you a very helpless feeling, because no matter how they think, how to do, their starting point is not wrong, is out of a kind of love for their children, I believe that you will not refute me.
Once I saw an article on the Internet, I forget where I saw it, so that I completely understand, buried in the heart for many years a knot opened. Grateful parents, although they want a lot of bride price practice is very bad, but do children can go against? The people of the world, the people of the world, smart you, do not go against your parents, and do not rely on them to do, because they have been wrong.
Thorough communication with parents to understand what concerns they are out of, and then find ways to dispel all these concerns, in addition, there is also a point is the public opinion of others, the rural people say anything, say what the girl from the family white with someone else what, and so on, 。。。。。 The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to get them to work for you. Of course we don't care, but as our parents, they care, care, care, care very much, because they still have to continue their lives in that piece of land; some families may be out of this, can't ask for less money for the bride price. At this point, should you do something about it, with the facts to prove to them, prove that you did the right thing, because not according to their requirements to live, you live and very good, then no one else can say.
Author: Thunderstorm Feifei 2005-7-19 08:57 Reply to this statement
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4 回复
The custom of the bride price on the Damshang
After reading the two insights, I also have a feeling, where the Damshang side, including around the dam or other counties and cities have this, many people who have never been out of the house, and now began to compare, you want 30,000, I want 50,000, you want 50,000, I want 80,000, from the earliest three big things, to now want a variety of things to say that can not be out of the folding of the set, and even made up the Jyutong, what three gold a smoke ............ and other feudal stubborn ideas, more now has begun to popularize to the county house, and cell phones and so on, I think now many of them are not going to use the computer, perhaps that day, even the computer, MP3 and other high-tech The first thing I want to do is to get rid of all the things that I've been doing for a long time.
There is also a kind of from the far solid to now left behind, now many young people in the marriage has not listened to the arrangements of parents, they chose the freedom of love, but to the key time, that is, to the time of the wedding ceremony, the parents still want, of course, appropriate to want some, but also with the number of rituals, but also to comfort their own, but to want too much for the man is really difficult to come up with, so the young man if you can find a good place outside, you will be able to find a good place to live, so that the young man is not a good place to live, so that the young man will be able to find a good place to live. The young man if you can find a girl in the south of the country may be able to give the family to alleviate this burden it ~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Kambanor 2005-7-19 09:34 Reply to this statement
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5 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
更有现在已经开始流行要县城的房子,及手机之类，还流行什么？
Author: 雷雨飞飞飞 2005-7-19 09:52 Reply to this statement
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6 回复 : About the custom of asking for a bride price in Damshang
Thanks for your replies, when my sister married, I did a bad job for my parents and ended up asking for 1,000 yuan, but it was the least in the village. I posted this post, I hope you can mobilize more of their relatives, abandon this bad custom, to be honest, to bride price to be the man's heart is cold, will cherish your daughter? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this!
Author: 219.238.54.* 2005-7-19 11:09 Reply to this statement
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7 Re: the custom of asking for a bride price on the dam
I would love for a lady to come up and say something, I wonder if I have a bias in favor of the men's point of view on this matter
Author: 219.238.54.* 2005-Jul-19 11:10 Reply to this statement
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8 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
1000元
Don't know what to say ~~~~~~
Author: 康巴诺尔 2005-7-19 11:10 Reply to this statement
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9 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
What does the owner say about leaving a name ~~~~
Author: Kangba Noor 2005-7-19 11:11 Reply to this statement
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10 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
革命的道路很长，困难是有滴
作者：雷雨飞飞飞 2005-7-19 11:18 回复此发言
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11 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
呵呵
这是啥革命呀
作者：康巴诺尔 2005-7-19 11:22 回复此发言
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12 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
打倒巨额彩礼的革命
作者：雷雨飞飞 2005-7-7 -19 11:32 Reply to this statement
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13 Re: About the custom of asking for bride price in Damshang
Down with the revolution of huge bride price
This doesn't even make sense, really,
！！！！
Author: 雷雨飞飞飞 2005-7-19 11:33 Reply to this statement
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14 Re: about the custom of asking for a bride price in the dam
West.
Author: Thunderstorm Feifei 2005-7-19 11:33 Reply to this statement
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15 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
是我发的，忘登陆了
作者： 网中网rs 2005-7-19 12:58 回复此发言
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16 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
Should be changed!
Author: 我心已然 2005-7-19 13:06 Reply to this statement
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17 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
欢迎已然大哥，谢谢捧场
作者：雷雨飞飞飞 2005-7-19 13:34 回复此发言
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18 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
就我们坝上四县要的厉害，坝下就没有坝上这么要的恨
作者：网中网rs 2005-7-19 13:40 回复此发言
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19 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
嫁个能干的老公贫穷可以改变，要上千万家产，无能照样花完
作者: Net in the net rs 2005-7-19 13:47 Reply to this statement
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20 Re: about the dam to be bride price The custom of the bride price
9494
Author: 雷雨飞飞飞 2005-7-19 13:49 Reply to this statement
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21 Reply 3: About the custom of asking for a bride price in the dam
A rich life can't come from how much you ask for a bride price, the key is whether or not you've had the conviction of a good life. Instead of letting your future husband work hard in a construction site, you should put the request for a bride price. Replace it with having your in-laws spend money to mold your friends.
Author: net-in-net rs 2005-7-19 14:01 Reply to this statement
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22 Re: about the custom of asking for a bride price in Damshang
9494
Author: 雷雨飞飞飞 2005-7-19 14:06 Reply to this statement
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23 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
狂顶~~~~
作者：康巴诺尔 2005-7-19 15:39 回复此发言
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24 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
精品就顶~~~~
作者：康巴诺尔 2005-7-22 10:10 回复此发言
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25 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
出了外的女的，那个敢把家乡婚嫁那一套和人家其他地方人说，人家会以为将故事
Author: net in the net rs 2005-7-22 10:20 Reply to this statement
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26 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
我敢,
我们办公室只数我能说,每天中午，都给他们讲故事!
Author: Thunderstorm Feifei 2005-7-22 10:57 Reply to this statement
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27 A peasant girl sobbed about the rural bad habits
The wedding bride price has caused me so much pain! (From the heart)
I am a peasant woman living in a remote mountainous area, now 26 years old. I don't want to say my real name and address, but I would like to borrow a corner of your newspaper to pour out a pile because of the prevalence of rural comparison to ask for a bride price wind, my parents greed to ask for a bride price is too much and too heavy, so that my life after the marriage of the difficult pace, into the plight of the matter. I wish more parents could understand the difficulties of their daughters after marriage, and never ask for the bride price again.
5 years ago, my parents gave me engaged, engaged parents will take me as a "money tree", moving me to the man to ask for this and that, each time less than one or two hundred dollars, more than four or five hundred dollars, three years down, to the man more than 8000 yuan. Ready to get married, parents and many families to marry the same, to the man asked for a variety of bride price of 20,000 to 30,000 yuan. On the day of the wedding, what "away from the mother money", "grooming money", "unlocking money", "on the horse money", "Crossing the river, crossing the bridge money" and so on, and asked for more than 2,000 yuan. Together with the man to buy furniture, electrical appliances, motorcycles and wedding expenses, etc. All calculated, the man spent more than 50,000 yuan for the wedding. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this, but I'm sure I'll be able to get out of this one!
This foreign debt has been pressured by the two of us can not breathe, although my husband outside the long years of hard work to earn money, I planted in the home, feed the pigs and chickens, frugal, meticulous, but always a hole in the big filler nails small, so far there is a foreign debt of more than 1.5 million yuan. To be honest, married for three years, we have not worn a decent clothes, did not dare to spend a penny should not spend money, but the money is not yet earned to the hands of a debtor forced door. Spring planting, other families rush to buy fertilizer, mulch, seeds, etc., we do not have the money to rush round and round. On weekdays, other people's families run around doing business, business store to earn money, but we do not have the money can only be bitter in the heart! I remember once, we were angry because of money, I ran back to my mother's home to complain, but my parents do not understand, but also said what, today's society, the daughter to get married, the bride price to be less, people still joke miles! Young age, to top a famine afraid of what? I had no choice but to run home full of grievances. Alas! Think about it, nowadays, after marriage debt is high and not only my family. But who knows that the harmful bride price is really unbearable ah! When can we be debt-free, comfortable and open to live a happy life?
Shanxi Huuguan County young woman Li × × oral
Shanxi Hu Guan County Zi Tuan Mountain Literary Society Qin Feng Ming collation
People's Daily (January 23, 2003, 14th edition)
Author: net in the net rs 2005-7-22 11:02 Reply to this statement
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28 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
湖北省妇联权益部闵自萍林安莉：
建议在第十七条增加对农村彩礼的 relevant provisions. In rural areas, there is still a prevalence of engaged men and women to give bride price custom, for the definition of the bride price, whether it is as a gift from the man to the woman, or as a man and a woman of their respective pre-marriage property, the marriage law is not clearly defined.
It is time to use the legal constraints
Author: net in net rs 2005-7-22 11:06 Reply to this statement
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29 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
Sun Mou for the bride price even robbed the cab
Not into the cave into the first classroom Sun Mou, male, 22 years old, Tengzhou Longyang Town, Longshan Village people. Two years ago, the introduction of Zou City, Zou City, look at the town of Li Lou village Li Mou to establish a romantic relationship. Sun can not get 8000 yuan dowry, the two have been unsuccessful in marriage. 2004 May 21, Sun, Li two people for the rapid preparation of the dowry to achieve the purpose of marriage, the idea of robbing a cab. The two conspired, in the evening in Tengzhou city to Zoucheng in the name of visiting relatives, renting an Alto car. When the car line to the town of Jiehe after the date of the village north of the remote road, Sun Mou from the body out of the dagger prepared in advance, with intimidation, coercion and other means of driver Zhao Mou's neck, fingers, etc. stabbed, robbed the vehicle due to the Sun on the car driving is not familiar with the car, abandoned the car and fled the hasty in the night.
Did not snatch the "bride price" of Sun's heart is moping, but in a few days, and rumors of his girlfriend Li Moumou to get married to someone else's news, he drank wine while thinking of a revenge Li Moumou "good" way, so pick up the phone and dial the Longyang police station. dialed the number of Longyang police station: you find the cab was robbed? I know who robbed it ...... He thought that Li Mou confessed, she must "go in", so she can not marry himself and can not marry someone else, can not and their own into the cave together into the classroom. Longyang police station police officers use caller ID, quickly rushed to his home caught a positive, and overnight to Zoucheng in one fell swoop captured Li Mou.
At present, Sun and Li have been criminally detained.
Author: net in net rs 2005-7-22 11:07 Reply to this statement
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30 Re: The custom of asking for bride price in Damshang
I suddenly have this idea, if the government can organize such a publicity pamphlet, the net in the net rs warrior of these cases, all into the edit in, and then sent to every household.
Author: 雷雨飞飞 2005-7-22 11:46 Reply to this statement
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31 Return to court for the bride price
Since ancient times, China has a custom, men and women to conclude the marriage contract, the male party to the female side of the bride price and bride price to show sincerity and commitment, the bride price and bride price is commonly known as the "bride price". Although the "bride price" is a symbol of good fortune, it can sometimes be a stumbling block to marriage. China's current law to respect the freedom of marriage, does not recognize the legal effect of the marriage contract, so when one party to request the dissolution of the marriage contract, there are often disputes over the bride price.
Matchmaking
For Gongyi City, Luzhuang Township, Chang Shuqin, the biggest wish is for the 23-year-old son of Xi Jitao to open a marriage. According to local rural customs, the son's age is not small, it is time to marry and have children.
So, the relatives and friends to help his son to pay attention to the right person. The first time I saw this was when I was a little girl, and I was a little girl, and I was a little girl, and I was a little girl, and I was a little girl. The first time I saw this, I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling. Jing Haitang recommended a girl named Liu Hongdan to her. Detailed description of the conditions of the man and woman, Chang Shuman, Jing Haitang feel that the two are suitable, and from the matchmaking, so that Xi Jitao and Liu Hongdan soon met.
Settle the marriage contract
Through a period of understanding, Liu's family has a Zhengzhou City, and the family is very satisfied with Xijitao, Xijitao also recognized the conditions of the woman. Subsequently, according to local custom, Liu Hongdan and his mother accompanied by two introducers, together with Xijitao home to see the house, and held an engagement ceremony. The two sides agreed to hold a wedding at the end of 2003.
After the engagement, Xi's family began to prepare for the upcoming wedding, Xi Jitao is also happy to wait for the wedding date. However, the development of things is not as Xi family expected. The two young people who were expected to enter the marriage hall have gone to court.
The deadlock
XI Jitao said, looking at the wedding day is approaching, he found Liu Hongdan asked to go together for the marriage registration formalities. However, at this time, the Liu family began to put off for a variety of reasons, but also said that the time is not good preparation for the wedding will be postponed. Who knows that this delay is more than a year.
At the end of 2004, when Xi's family again urged to hold a wedding as soon as possible, Liu's family, Xi's family to take out another 10,000 yuan to the woman. For this request, the family made it clear that they could not accept it. On the one hand, the Liu family insisted not to give 10,000 yuan of money will not talk about the marriage; on the other hand, the Xi family also repeatedly said it is impossible to come up with the money. The thing is at once in a deadlock.
For this marriage, why did the Liu family insist on such a request? We found the answer in Liu Hongdan's mother. Liu Hongdan's mother said, the reason why they made this request, the reason is very simple, is to take this to cancel the marriage with the family. Because Liu Hongdan and Xi Jitao get along for a period of time, she and her family feel that although Xi Jitao conditions are good, is a city household, but I do not have any great ability, the future must not be much big development.
For this reason of the Liu family, XI Jitao thinks that the real reason for the Liu family to ruin the marriage is not that he is not capable, but that his family is not as rich as the Liu family thought, so the Liu family wants to repent the marriage.
Claims for bride price
In any case, things have developed to this point, the two families understand that the marriage can only be stopped. At this point, the family asked the Liu family to return the bride price and goods paid to the Liu family before and after the engagement, to completely end the matter. Xi's family said, according to local rural customs, men and women meet, if you agree to continue to interact, a very important process is to change the handkerchief, meaning that the handkerchief wrapped in the bride price money with the woman formally betrothed. Therefore, his family in and Liu family betrothal, with hand towels wrapped 4000 yuan money bride price to the other side. In addition to the bride price, they had also bought jewelry and clothes for Liu Hongdan, these should also be returned.
For the Xi family's request to return the bride price, the Liu family flatly refused. They said, they have never received these things, how can they return?
In the end, in the return of the bride price, the two sides failed to reach agreement on a number of consultations. The family said, in order to this marriage, they spent more than two years before and after, to the end of the ride in the money can not be returned, this result they can not accept in any case. So, the family decided to resolve the matter through legal channels.
Court mediation
March 28, 2005, Xi Jitao a paper will Liu Hongdan sued the court, requiring it to return the bride price of 5600 yuan. After XI Jitao sued, Liu Hongdan that XI Jitao prosecution behavior damage to their own reputation, XI Jitao filed a counterclaim, requesting the other party to stop the infringement, apologize, and compensation for moral damages of 30,000 yuan.
Gongyi Municipal People's Court accepted the case, the case was heard in public. After listening to the two sides of the defense, the presiding judge announced that due to the defendant Liu Hongdan in the court within the specified period of time did not pay the litigation costs, in accordance with the provisions of the law on its counterclaims will not be heard.
Author: net in the net rs 2005-7-22 12:06 Reply to this statement
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32 Retirement for the bride price in court
In the court investigation stage, the plaintiff Xijitao showed the court witness testimony. Witnesses Chang Shuman and Jing Haitang testified that the plaintiff Xi Jitao gave the defendant Liu Hongdan 4,000 yuan bride price and the value of 1,000 yuan of platinum necklace, worth 200 yuan of clothing. The defendant's agents have objected to this, they believe that the witness Chang Shuman is the plaintiff's immediate family, so its testimony does not have the force of law. For the witness Jing Haitang testified, the defendant's agent said because Jing Haitang and the defendant's two families had a dispute, so its testimony is not credible.
In this regard, the plaintiff's agent, Chang Shuman and the plaintiff Xijitao is not a legal sense of the immediate family, the law does not stipulate that the relatives can not testify. Moreover, Jing Haitang is a simple rural women, its testimony has not undergone any processing and modification, the court should be admitted.
After the court debate, the panel adjourned. The court mediation, the plaintiff and the defendant voluntarily reached a mediation agreement: the defendant Liu Hongdan on June 6, 2005 to pay the plaintiff Xijitao 1000 yuan, the plaintiff Xijitao voluntarily give up other litigation claims; the case processing fee of 234 yuan by the plaintiff and the defendant all share.
Expert Comments
The law does not support the bride price
Zhang Bin ("Into the Court" host): bride price is a very old folk custom. So, from the legal point of view, how do we look at the bride price?
Liu Chao Wang (Henan Yuda Law Firm):
The bride price as a folk custom, in our country continued for thousands of years, can be said to have a long history. Ancient marriage all depends on the parents' order, matchmaker's words, the bride price symbolizes auspicious and public effect.
The current marriage system to register as a prerequisite, the bride price naturally lost its original meaning, turned into a stereotype. China's "Marriage Law" clearly stipulates in Article 3: "Prohibit the arrangement, sale of marriage and other interference in the freedom of marriage, and prohibit the use of marriage to obtain property." Obviously, the law holds a negative evaluation of the bride price.
Although the bride price is sometimes "voluntarily" given by one party to another, it is not equivalent to the gift in the Contract Law. Contract law gift, is a completely voluntary behavior, involving only pure property relations. Even the act of making a conditional gift does not change this characteristic. In the bride price relationship, one party to pay the other party a certain amount of bride price or bride price, although the surface is also voluntary, but the purpose of such payment is very clear, that is, to conclude a marriage relationship, the establishment of a specific identity relationship as a prerequisite.
The bride price dispute witness is very important
Zhang Bin: see the trial of this case, I have been thinking, for the gift of the bride price, the two sides are often agreed upon verbally a thing, and there is no written material. At the time of the gift, the two sides are not likely to record, what I give you today, the value of how much money. But in the future, if the bride price problem because of the dispute, the two sides therefore went to court, how can the court find the facts at that time?
Liu Zhaowang: In the case of litigation arising from the bride price, witness testimony is the main form of evidence.
Due to traditional attitudes, most of the bride price is not possible to give the bride price of the party issued such as receipt and other textual evidence, but the delivery of the bride price is usually a matchmaker or other witnesses present. Therefore, in the case of the demand for the return of the bride price, the witness statement this form of evidence in the whole evidence composition occupies a major position. Witness testimony is also a legal form of evidence under the law. (Han Ru Cui Kejing Wen Shou Shi Song Zengfeng Figure - Editor: You Li)
Author: net in the net rs 2005-7-22 12:06 Reply to this statement
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33 回复：关于坝上要彩礼的习俗
Now the urban marriage to implement property justice, now the rural areas, the divorce rate is also higher and higher, about the property issue Mrs. disputes, will gradually increase.
Author: 网中网rs 2005-7-22 14:17 Reply to this statement
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34 Re: the custom of asking for a bride price in Damshang
I think no matter how much I tell the elderly about the dangers of the bride price, it is difficult to change their deep-rooted concepts at once.
By: 厥子流 2005-7-22 14:25 In reply to this statement