This article is written for confused sisters.
I grew up normally, like you, and then I met him. Although he is ordinary, everything is stable. Until that day, he suddenly couldn't go home.
I couldn't sleep the first night. I believe you are all right. How can you sleep? The feeling of the sky falling is so much. Is it fear? Still worried? I didn't cry because fear occupied my heart. His mother and son are here, and I can't cry. From that moment on, I became the pillar of his family. We're not married. He is a single-parent family with a son. I have to settle down.
After that, there was a series of running around, looking for a lawyer to get back the criminal detention order, sending clothes and living expenses. I have shared these processes before, and all of them have come together. Today I just want to talk about my changes now.
In the first month, I suddenly lost 10 Jin. So far, I have lost 20 Jin. I have run out of cash, so I need a loan because I can't tell my family and friends. Economic pressure sometimes makes me extremely anxious. I spent a lot of money before, and finally realized that I had to hesitate for a few dollars, and then decided not to buy it. I usually give up what I like to eat. I'm hungry late at night and dare not order takeout. For the love of beauty, I no longer buy new clothes out of season. I changed thousands of skin care products into low-priced creams. I never dare to go to parties between friends again, even if it's AA spending. I don't want to socialize for entertainment ... too much helplessness, but I am happy.
I don't know how to thank big brother. The economic situation is really tense. At first, each article was rewarded with some small change, and now I have begun to save it. I really have no choice but to write an article to express my gratitude. I feel very honored to be one of the few fans who can trust him privately for the first time.
With the help and patient explanation of my eldest brother, I dare not say that I am proficient in his case, but I will never be cheated by a willing heart, and my mentality is getting better every day. So I want to share with my sisters what we should do and what we should not touch at this stage.
My family has ruled now that the court will open on the sixth month. The result was not satisfactory, so I decided to appeal. There is still a long way to go, and I won't give up. I also hope that the sisters who read the article will give me a little blessing and wish everything well.
1. If you have the conditions, if you want to hire a lawyer, ask the local price and ask more questions. Don't be cheated. Hundreds of thousands of people have heard of flowers, but I don't think it will be that expensive. The most important thing for a lawyer is to tell him that I am still here and my home is still there. And lawyers know the process better, which is more or less helpful.
2. Don't hold out too much hope for finding a relationship! Unless the relationship is particularly hard, that's fine. But we are all ordinary people, otherwise we will not look around for information gathering in this official WeChat account, so everything should be rational. Under the current system, no one will lose their job or even their future for a little money and so-called friendship! People in public security law are more aware of the influence of criminal record on them. Not to mention the chances of being cheated!
One day, when I went to the detention center to pay my living expenses, I met an old lady wandering at the door and came to talk to me, saying that her daughter-in-law spent 10w to find a relationship for her son, but she was told that she could not find a guarantor. I am helpless to hear this, but I can understand it, because I thought about it when I just had an accident. Another father spent millions trying to get one of his brothers, but he failed.
3. So what can we do? Very limited, don't expect to be involved in the case. The only thing that can be handled is a lawyer. First, the living expenses should be paid. Usually 500 yuan a month is enough. The money is mainly used to buy daily necessities and order snacks. According to my husband, the following items can be bought:
Snacks (three people order a dish together, average per person 10 yuan) can only order one meal the day before, and two meals can be ordered these months, so I adjusted the living expenses in January to 1000 yuan.
Fruit 50 a bag 10 (only apples and oranges are sour in winter, so my family didn't buy them)
The variety of non-staple food such as ham sausage and steamed stuffed bun is uncertain, and it cannot be decided if things are out of stock. No instant noodles.
Milk, 80 a box. I used to force him to drink it every day, but now it's cold and I have diarrhea, so I don't drink it.
All the daily necessities are complete, but since he went in, I also sent them in. So I didn't buy it inside (please note that dangerous goods such as toothbrushes can't be sent, and soap and toothpaste can be sent casually)
There is a thick quilt inside, so don't worry about catching a cold. After all, the detention center doesn't want everyone to get sick inside! People on duty will also send a military coat to keep out the cold. I suggest you send a pair of gloves. Thick cotton shoes don't need shoelaces, but thick insoles are enough.
Not every day there is hot water, I don't know exactly how many times a week, but when it comes to hot water, you can take a hot bath (he just took a shower on the day of the court session, and his face turned red, hahaha).
Life inside is pretty much like this. I am here, and it is convenient to deliver things, so I know that these things may be different in each region, but they are all the same.
Besides living expenses, the most important thing is to discipline cadres. Basically, everyone will receive a phone call from the subject to inform everyone of his needs and so on. And the mobile phone number will be saved, and occasionally bring a cigarette to the discipline when you send something to the locals. This money is definitely more useful than finding a relationship! Because you can send food in! Food is not allowed to be sent during the epidemic, and sometimes you can find letters when you are familiar with the discipline cadres, but they can't involve the case and will be reviewed. In short, the cadres are the closest to him. Since there is nothing we can do, let him have a better life! At the same time: discipline will look at people for the general world, not teach everyone to pay bribes, but ordinary human relations, and will not violate their regulations.
The living expenses have not been cut off in recent months. He didn't have the daily necessities he wanted, but I also sent everything in, including some plastic bottles of Dabao and lip balm in winter. And these are not only things, but also allow him to get warmth and care from his lover, so that he can better adjust his mentality.
We really can't do anything else except the above. Of course, taking care of the family outside is also the best comfort for him. We should take care of and protect ourselves. Although a woman is like water, a strong-hearted woman can win a thousand troops. I hope my sisters can be safe, strong and look forward to tomorrow. Fear and despair are useless. What we need is to look to the future and tomorrow. When he comes home, there must be light in the future!
These days, my mental state can really be said to be earth-shaking. I have been able to accept and wait calmly, no longer anxious and anxious.
Quoting a passage helps me a lot. I don't remember the exact words. Today, I feel that great things and obstacles will make you desperate and anxious to end yourself, but tomorrow will still come. When tomorrow comes, you will find that yesterday's mood is not so anxious. Is something getting smaller? No, your mood has changed. Therefore, the only thing that can't pass is the state of mind at that time. As long as you come back tomorrow, you will find that the bad thing is not the thing itself, but yourself at that time. Jump out and give yourself a chance to wait for tomorrow.
I hope that every tomorrow you wait for will be better, and the person you wait for is the one worthy of your life. Especially married people with children, even a stepmother like me can do it. What can't you do?
It doesn't matter to me what a man or woman who has been in prison will become in the eyes of others. But I firmly believe that he is the one I have to wait for. Only after such a desperate separation can they cherish and wait for their own woman, and no man will fail-the woman who gave him hope at the lowest ebb. Therefore, everyone you are waiting for, at this moment, all the time, must be thinking about living well after returning home and cherishing the little days with their families.
Suffering from temporary helplessness, I can accompany you for a lifetime.
I understand that sentence, and I don't know how to cherish it if I don't lose it. I really hate that I was so melodramatic in the past. I didn't tell him I love you well. I didn't find that I loved him so much. I always enjoyed his inclusive care. Fortunately, it's not too late. When he comes home, I will change my mind about not having children in my life and give him a doll.
Mine is not a hero, and he won't marry me on colorful auspicious clouds. Even if he is poor and has nothing, we may live a poor life when we come back. But I am a strong woman. So! It's my turn to protect you and your son.
After this Christmas Eve, the last Saturday in 2020, I wish him an early return to China! We are one year closer to reunion and hug! I wish you all the best, the people I care about are safe, the children are healthy and happy, and we are getting stronger and stronger.