Disasters are inevitable for human development, and suffering is also a necessary factor that forces a person to grow. As the principal said, life is like a lifeline. If it goes well, it will be dead. Before 2020, I had my own happy family and my own small business. Although I don’t earn much, I live a fulfilling and happy life every day. In 2020, my physical clothing store was unable to operate normally, but my father had a rare form of Burkitt's lymphoma that also grew in his heart. It was like a bolt from the blue. After my brother's accident, my long-married daughter became the only support for my parents, and I was always worried about their health. Sure enough, something was wrong with my body. At that time I complained that my brother was ignorant. If he had not been sensible, he would not have spent his father's pension money, and his father would not have become ill because of sadness. He would not worry about his sentence every day and complain about his incompetent brother. Instead, he would use his savings to help him repay the online loan and ask a lawyer to help him reduce his sentence. In 2020, I suffered career losses due to the closing of my store, my brother’s criminal case, accompanying my father in the hospital, the pressure of being separated from my beloved husband and children for the first time, the pressure of borrowing money from everywhere, and the loneliness and helplessness of my parents and relatives. 2020 will be too much. I'm very worried, and I don't know why. I just know that maybe my dad is not good enough, which caused his brothers and sisters to leave him, so they won't feel sorry for me. After all, it is their duty to help a family and it is their duty to help.
Before meeting Principal Mei, I complained about my father’s preference for sons over daughters, which led to my brother’s rebellion and was deceived into prison. I blame my mother for abandoning us since we were young, entering this world alone, and letting our brothers and sisters grow up wildly; I blame my brother for not listening to advice, because fair-weather friends are not real friends, and they are not worth making friends; I blame my uncles and aunts for being heartless, but at home When such a big thing happened, they ignored me and left me to bear everything alone. Fortunately, my husband, children, parents-in-law gave us a little warmth and prevented us from completely collapsing. Principal Mei’s reply stated, “Whatever you grow up to be, what you want will come to you. Each of your achievements is just a carrier of growth.” Only when you learn to change your perspective, your The world will change. "Yes, I have never thought about what kind of person I want to be. It seems that I have been seeking justice from my father, family warmth from my mother, and great love from my relatives. But I never thought about practicing it." "Be 100% responsible for your own life."
So I reflected on myself and found that it was actually because I loved my own small family so much that I demanded more from my mother's family. Since I am a daughter, I will take this as a burden , plant a seed of love for the children, and be more tolerant towards their relatives. It’s not that I don’t want to help, but my father’s stubborn character makes them afraid to help. Since God gave me a stubborn father, I can only do it. Learn to accept it calmly. Accept that your long-term loneliness leads to a lack of friends, accept that your long-term loneliness leads to mistrust of everyone, accept that you have long-term teaching primary school mathematics but rarely read books and newspapers, which leads to cognitive bias, accept that you have lived in the countryside for a long time and do not know. Internet information needs to be discerned. Accept that he has not seen the world well since he was a child, which makes him cherish his life more, so I can stop complaining. His failure to cooperate with treatment and his refusal to listen to my suggestions led to a series of unnecessary complications.
When I accept all this, my inner peace is my ability to practice. When I am calm, I will realize the present moment. When I realize the present moment, I will find that, as the principal said, I am my own worst enemy, so I start to change myself and find my own shortcomings from my parents. Get to know him and make corrections. Taking advantage of the compound interest effect mentioned by the principal, I believe that if I gain confidence every day, my heart will become stronger. If I continue to cultivate my inner peace every day, I will be able to deal with everything calmly.
I will give nothing every day, expect nothing, and turn a blind eye to my father’s complaints about me, so that my daily life will be rich. Once my heart is full, I no longer care about other people's opinions, so I live a very comfortable life, such as live broadcasting. I can live broadcast in the hospital. Even if my eyes are red because I stayed up late and haven't oiled my hair for several days, it will not delay my live broadcast at all, because I set a goal and I will accomplish it. I believe that through this compound interest effect, my wealth and freedom will come sooner or later.
The principal said in his reply that gratitude is the basic color of love. In the past, I only knew how to cherish my husband's kindness to me, and I would treat him in the way I thought was best for him. I didn't know they weren't what he wanted, so I would be angry. Angry that he wouldn't accept my thanks, I learned to express gratitude and I discovered why I asked for this affirmation. At present, my husband is making money to support the family, and he is also responsible for my father's medical expenses and part of my brother's legal fees. This is already a great thing. I should be grateful to him for allowing me to leave my children behind and run back to Fujian to take care of my father. I should thank him for silently shouldering my father's medical expenses when all my relatives were hiding behind and afraid to help. I should be grateful to him for hiring a high-priced lawyer to appeal whenever there was a glimmer of hope. I'm grateful that he understood my situation. I have this grateful heart, so I don’t have to force him to do things he doesn’t like, such as asking him to apply ointments or taking health supplements. He doesn't want me to communicate more and maintain my health in another way, otherwise it will be good for him to lose my care in this quarrel. When I change for this, my husband will also silently change for me. We even had a few late-night conversations involving sensitive terms on both sides. I never knew that he would resent me and say, "You hate you for no reason. It turns out that I know that sudden unhappiness every day has a huge impact on children. After this in-depth conversation, I silently made up my mind to correct my previous little behavior." Problem, believe in the compound interest effect. Give your children a peaceful mother. All problems come from yourself. When you change, the world you see changes. My thoughts are all my subconscious mind. Once my husband points out these behaviors to me, I will realize that it is my subconscious problem, and I will correct it in time.
It is not enough to just know how to correct it, but I must also learn to force it. Grow by yourself. In the next 21 days, I will follow the principal and force myself to live life to the fullest!