Do you still remember his dreams and wishes from childhood? The first memory may be the envy that being a president can be a household name, and being a soldier looks magnificent and powerful; When you are old, you may want to be an authoritative and knowledgeable teacher, or there are too many volunteers to prepare and decide to be a "useful person who contributes to yourself"; In any case, you may think that it is more practical to make a lot of money no matter what you do; Finally, maybe I just want to live a quiet life every day.
In short, these dreams and ambitions, whether vigorous or ordinary, are almost all our experiences in setting an ideal future for ourselves. However, there always seems to be some gap between ideal and reality, because ideal can be expected to be woven, but reality comes step by step.
Studies, work, economy, family, various interpersonal problems and tests followed. The price of being in such a complicated situation is: stress, tension, anxiety, busyness, loss and even blindness. Will and confidence are also frustrated and unconsciously exhausted. Sometimes, even if we don't want to negotiate bad emotions and feelings, these negative feelings are hard to get rid of.
Whether it is based on human instinct or acquired cognition and learning, we have the motivation to seek good and avoid evil for everything, and we expect good development and results in both material and spiritual aspects. The material level may be based on economic ability; On the spiritual level, I hope I will be healthy physically and mentally and adapt well.
Psychologist Carl Rogers believes that "the tendency of self-realization" enables everyone to develop their potential to maintain or improve their lives, which is the basic need for us to pursue growth. Another psychologist, Abraham Maslow, is famous for putting forward five kinds of "hierarchy of needs": physiology, safety, belonging and acceptance, self-esteem and self-realization. He advocates that these gradually satisfied needs can build a good foundation and eventually become a "self-fulfilling individual" with full potential and harmonious personality.
This is a very practical concept, because a person who has realized himself has great insight and judgment on reality, is harmonious and efficient, and can accept himself and respect others. Therefore, a "self-actualized person" is a "confident person" shown in daily life. He is not a perfect favorite, but he will not over-inflate or belittle himself, but calmly face his strengths and weaknesses, and be able to rationally analyze and face solutions when facing threats of pressure and difficulties.
Self-confidence refers to an individual's positive and objective evaluation of self-concept and external environment. A confident person has full consciousness, confidence and courage in himself, dares to try and accept challenges, and can quickly choose to deal with external emergencies, correct himself and handle them properly. After handling a challenge properly every time, he will be satisfied with his growth and give feedback to himself, so that he will be more confident in a virtuous circle.
In addition, usually a confident person can trust not only himself, but also others, so it is easy to establish good interpersonal relationships with his surroundings; On the contrary, a person who lacks self-confidence often has a negative and pessimistic evaluation of everything, which may be followed by fear and retreat, fear of trying, complaining, lack of flexibility and adaptability, not believing that he can complete the task, and not necessarily trusting others, which will create obstacles to interpersonal relationships and things and form a vicious circle for a long time. In fact, self-confidence represents an attitude, which can be achieved by changing one's behavior, rather than changing the environment. Everyone has the ability to change himself. Once we really do it, we will really make a difference.
Now we are changing, the external environment remains the same, but the ideas and practices are different.
There are five steps to pursue and cultivate self-confidence:
The first step is to know yourself first. Know what you are, what you have, what you lack and what you want to pursue. Maybe we have been busy studying and taking exams since childhood, but we have never had a chance to calm down and face ourselves and think, "Who am I?" "This problem is the basis of all the pursuit of change and cognitive reality.
The second step is to take responsibility for yourself. When we figure out what we are and what we want to pursue, we will have a series of choices. Because "I" am making choices, deciding what to do and how to live my life, I must also take responsibility bravely with a mature attitude. No one can replace me.
The third step is to keep a curious and learning attitude towards all the people, things and things around you, and constantly try to observe, understand and reflect, so that you can not only absorb new information like a sponge, but also let the judgment mechanism of your mind play a screening role, thus eliminating weeds and maintaining keen judgment and flexible thinking ability.
The fourth step is to learn the ability of tolerance, care and sharing. Tolerance and care release the restricted self from the narrow frame, and let us look at things from different positions and angles and gain new understanding. At the same time, we can get the same feedback from others by opening ourselves up.
The fifth step is to motivate yourself to be brave in trying, full of action ability and be able to really start, otherwise it will be a failure. Fear and fear sometimes come from unfamiliarity with environment and conditions. Instead of setting limits for yourself, it is better to do it yourself. Familiarity will really increase your confidence.
No matter what our ideal is, we should keep the enthusiasm of pursuing our dreams. Pursuing self-confidence and becoming a self-fulfilling person can help us successfully get rid of the bondage of pressure and blindness, show our potential and make ends meet. Finally, I want to remind you that when we believe what we will be like and expect what we will do, we will really move in that direction. This kind of "idealistic present" power, which is called "self-fulfilling prophecy" in psychology, will really work!