There are many problems in this vote, but it can reflect some thorny issues. For example, for most women, filing is even more unacceptable than slag. Note that this does not mean that women can accept "slag", but that they do not accept "mud" when comparing the two. Before discussing this, let's talk about three small examples:
A relative and friend of the same age reads a sister paper every day and brushes her WeChat circle of friends, but doesn't chase it. Please tell me why not. He said: "I feel it will be difficult, that's all." I said, "So you don't like it?" He said, "No, I like it very much, but I don't want to spend too much energy." I said, "Then you should be cold." He said unconvinced, "Can't you just say no? Many playboy men can! " I said, "But these playboys are handsome and rich, and you are ugly and poor. What's wrong? "
A brother asked to introduce his girlfriend in detail and said, "I'm looking forward to accepting my job." I have to get off work at twelve o'clock every day and work overtime on Sunday. " I said, "You have no one here." He was unconvinced: "Can't I see this kind of working hours?" Playboy man looking for it! "I said," it is also possible to find such working hours, but everyone else is at Goldman Sachs. This working time can't be with others, and can't be compared with a promiscuous man. What do you want? "
A disciple was dumped, and the tearful workshop didn't understand that his ex-girlfriend "would rather be with playboy than with him for money". Tease _ Rong for example: "That guy is my scum!" And: "Does he have anything other than money?" At this time, a brother at the next table was still ignorant. He said, "But you don't want anything but money." They fought with each other, but everyone was thinking privately: Is the neighbor's brother right?
As mentioned above, many men will use the excuse that "women love playboys" and "the key is that I am too good" when they are rejected by their beloved girls, and they will say that "good people have no chance", "women are too utilitarian" and "social development is too practical". In fact, to be precise, women are not with playboys, but with handsome guys. It's just that playboy men are generally elegant and as delicious as fried food.
There is a saying here, that is, the famous "men are not bad and women don't like it". Many people understand this "bad" as "social moral defect" and strengthen this cognitive ability according to the personal behavior of many playboy men who harm women in social development. As everyone knows, this understanding is a kind of expectation and prejudice mixed with emotional instability. The implication of firmly believing in this cognitive ability is: "I was rejected because my social morality is modest, unlike playboy." What happened to this woman's eyes? It's not that I'm weak. "
The "bad" of "men are not bad, and women don't like it" actually focuses on the exquisite dating skills and strong working ability of boys. The girl said, "You are good or bad!" In this case, it is not to deny the boy's quality, but to express a compliment to the boy's romantic surprise, display his talents, create fun and other related work abilities. At this time, a "bad" word is not to deny the character of a boy, but to express pleasure. To put it bluntly, it is something like "happiness is self-evident" and "tongue-tied with excitement".
The relativity of "bad" is "good" Girls love to say, "You are a good person, but we are not suitable." Many rejected boys really think that this is a girl's evaluation of their social morality. They even complain that their "kindness but rejection" is bad luck or unfair social development. As we all know, refusing by "sending a friend card" is the basic quality of every girl who has at least self-restraint and IQ. I think it proves a lot about you, but it only proves a lot about her.
The sentence "I'm sorry you are a good person" does not mean that you are really a "good person with good character" in the eyes of sister paper. She just chose an expression that doesn't hurt your feelings and self-esteem, and doesn't hurt your image, temperament and reputation. For a man who is not interested, women don't care whether his quality is good or bad. They just want to get rid of their uninterested friends of the opposite sex as soon as possible in a civilized, polite and gentle way to prevent unnecessary inconvenience.
If the "you are a good person" that girls often say is translated in direct words, it will often be: "You don't deserve me, I look down on you, and I have no time or interest in fooling around with you." If a woman says, "You are a good man", I am sorry for your loss. Most of you will catch a cold. If the other person says, "You damn fool!" Congratulations, you can kiss right away.
There are two key things to deal with, quality and style. Quality is your "reliability level", which accurately measures the "harmfulness" of falling in love with you; Style is your "working ability level", which accurately measures the "profitability" of falling in love with you. Appraisal style can be quickly estimated according to wealth, diploma, appearance, manners, self-restraint and dress. The identification of quality must go through a long period of exploration and excavation. Distinguishing a man's style is probably just a meal, but in order to understand his social morality, we must dig deep into various Internet big data such as ex-boyfriends and past love histories.
It is the man's demeanor that determines whether two people can be together at first, but it is the man's quality that ultimately determines whether two people can be together. Quality and working ability are fully displayed in feelings. True love is a temple, with the gate at the foot of the mountain and the hall at the top of the mountain. Style is the threshold of the palace, and quality is the new way. If you want to enter the temple to burn incense and worship Buddha, you must first cross the threshold of the temple gate at the foot of the mountain and then climb the mountain.
Many people were rejected, not because they said "good quality", but because of his poor style, which eliminated the connection with quality. In the whole contact process in recent days, when everyone's quality is very clear and uncertain, choosing a higher style is a very objective choice, and it is not a "brainless woman" at all. Emotion is work, and the principle of operation is at least: under the same standard of risk unpredictability, the discount rate and return on investment are naturally higher.
Even in terms of quality defects, women will be more tolerant of elegant men. For example, when dealing with Takeshi Kaneshiro, he deceived me and thought it was his own fault. Who let himself find Takeshi Kaneshiro? Don't divide, don't endure. However, falling in love with Huang Hai Bo, he felt very humiliated and angry when he cheated. Look at that ugly look, the more you look at it, the more it burns. "It's so ugly, you his mama still ambiguous with mom? ! What do you want my sisters to think of me! ? "
In addition, women have different degrees of tolerance for men's repentance and rehabilitation. The scars with meritorious military service are sexy and charming, and the tears of the strong are also charming. For the ruthless male god, even if he has made mistakes before, once he starts again, he will especially tempt girls to cry. But a hanging spring that repents and turns over a new leaf is not easy to cause big waves, and salted fish is also idle fish. The premise of "Starting from scratch" being widely praised is to blaze new trails after the prodigal son returns.
Therefore, it must be clear that the key to the problem is not "whether there is anything wrong with women" or "whether the quality is good", but whether men have the ability. Women don't love men with poor quality, but men with high personality, strong working ability and fun.
Many people are single for different reasons. To sum up, they are not only embarrassed by themselves, but also despise others. On the one hand, they don't think they have enough working ability and assets. On the other hand, they don't want to improve themselves. They just question the social outlook and deny girls' choices. According to the concept of denying society and girls' selection, it seems that it is of little significance to make elimination because of weakness.
In the final analysis, all they complain about is one sentence: "Why didn't I hug the queen?" Here, one thing must be clearly questioned, that is, "the correlation between personality and style." According to the specific daily life, the quality of suspension spring is not necessarily better. Borrowing the content of Bian Xiao's previous article, it is: "You are not necessarily a large number of people, but you have no chance to wander." For example, Gao Yanei in Water Margin is a Wu Dalang who can only recognize a good godfather.
In short, many times, people mistakenly think that "the key to the problem is quality", but in fact, "the key to the problem is style". Girls stay with playboy men because many "good men" who think they are worthless and unable to work pull their beloved girls away from playboy men and give her happiness. Maintaining association depends on quality, and creating association depends on working ability. Poor working ability, you say quality?
We must pay attention to this point in writing. Everyone is not fighting "embarrassment". I bought emotional counseling service, not encouraging "scum". It is definitely not recognized that "crying in the BMW 5 Series" is better than "laughing on the bike". Just pay attention, if we are weak in finding a partner, that is, frustrated in some aspects, then we don't have to escape the defects and deny women's choices, but should improve ourselves, from the shallow to the deep, and basically improve our personal charm from the quality. If you love Ford Mustang, go and develop the prairie quickly.
Other people "on the BMW 5 Series" didn't cry as you think, but were sincerely cared for by another person who was more capable of working. Loyalty is not all feelings, but the moral bottom line of feelings. For a relationship, whether a man can improve his popularity with his heart is itself a "warlords". If everyone can't work hard for love, what can we talk about loving her?
We all love sister paper, and so do others. You may do nothing, but it's not easy for your third party. What a woman wants is not only to really love her, but also to cherish her. Complaining blindly and being emotional will always increase the ridicule of others. Even if the goddess breaks up with playboy, she won't ask you out. Because, she probably would rather be with another love rat than spend the rest of her life with a loser who only complains.
The idea of "getting what you want" only by "a sincere heart" is ridiculous, while the psychological state of "not eating red grapes but saying sour grapes" is despicable. If you love her, you should fight for her instead of complaining in nightclubs and accusing the Queen of being blind or unfair in social development. The standard is not very good, and he is not diligent, and his social morality is arrogant and full of complaints. Who would you replace without replacing you?
True love is a job that requires capital investment and infrastructure. In this emotional arena where people fight hand in hand, the road to the enemy is narrow, and the brave win. If we are not strong, everyone's favorite queen will be snatched away by the devil and shed tears. A good man with a sense of mission should charge ahead and immediately cross the knife, as the song goes: a good man is not easy to hurt his lover a little.