From the time I interviewed too many counselors who settled in my platform to the present, from the feedback from visitors to me, from the communication with major psychological circles, I suddenly realized that it really doesn't matter how thick the academic qualifications and certificates of counselors are, what matters is whether they are really spiritual and savvy.
I have heard many lectures given to us by so-called doctors of psychology, some of which made me sleepy, some of which went deep into my heart, and some of which were eloquent. I have also heard of some psychology colleagues who are not particularly big. Many of them really surpass many doctors in philosophy and foresight.
So, you ask me: "What kind of ability does an excellent and competent psychological counselor rely on?"
I think it's more about comprehensive ability, transparency and enlightenment of perception and self.
A small number of psychological counselors, who have never been married, have never given birth to children, have never even talked about boyfriends and girlfriends, and even have no experience of chasing people or being chased, use the so-called theory to guide the family education of the second child and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This feeling is really like an armchair strategist. In fact, there is absolutely no need for a young psychological counselor like this to choose to do psychological counseling on marriage and emotion;
There are also a few psychological counselors who have no jobs and don't know where their future lies, but they make career plans for visitors. This seems to be a very difficult thing. Because it is possible that the anxiety in the heart of the visitor will eventually make both the counselor and the visitor fall into the trauma of anxiety. How is that possible?
Some psychological counselors dare to treat schizophrenia, depression and anxiety without even seeing mental illness. ...
I know that the world is big and there are many people in need, but it doesn't mean that psychological counselors can treat all heart diseases. Psychological counselors are really not omnipotent. Many times, we can only choose one or two fields that suit us to study in depth, instead of learning more, learning more and learning everything.
Many psychological counselors have learned a lot of skills, but if you really think about it, most of the skills that visitors can use when they ask you for advice are one-on-one case psychological counseling. After all, the purpose of the visitors to consult you is really not too complicated, that is, to treat you as a tree hole or a person who is sure of his own ideas. It is impossible for a psychological counselor to deify himself excessively, to help the world and save people, or even to understand all the problems of the other party. The other person doesn't even know what his subconscious is doing for a second. Do you think you can improve other people's lives by studying for a few years? This is a very difficult thing.
Some psychological counselors will even explain to visitors even if they don't fill out the scale. ...
Some psychological counselors have limited language skills, such as inaccurate words, limited language organization and copywriting skills, and insufficient emotional intelligence. When communicating with visitors, visitors are easily misunderstood.
Many novice psychological counselors Xiao Bai asked me when he was looking for my supervision: "What is the psychological counselor's perception, odds and comprehensive ability?"
You see, many psychological counselors have spent tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands looking for supervisors and attending open classes, but why are they still overwhelmed by my traumatic mentality every day or confused all the way? There is no other reason, that is, you are really unfit to be a psychological counselor.
The profession of psychological counselor is a multi-dimensional treasure for young people, covering the comprehensive theoretical and practical ability of many disciplines.
For a simple example, if you are at school, the teacher assigns you to write a composition: a day in the countryside.
No matter how good a famous teacher your parents have invited to guide you in writing this composition, no matter how many gorgeous lines you have, as long as you don't really stay in the countryside for a few days and do farm work until you sweat and cry, you really can't write a heartfelt and profound good composition.
Art comes from life and is higher than life. But the starting point of any art is the starting point and tempering of life.
The process of psychological counseling learning is also an art, which does not mean that you can realize the truth after listening to millions of classes. Then if millions or hundreds of thousands can make a person, it is good to set up psychological counseling in line 360. Can't everyone get rich?
But what about the facts? 90% counselors' real investment is not proportional to their real income. Quite a few psychological counselors only see that some visitors spend thousands or tens of thousands to consult her once or dozens of times today, but they can't see that after the consultation, psychological counselors go to a more expensive supervisor and participate in group classes and training courses with ten times the investment.
Psychological counselors, the most heartfelt point is not the amount of income, but the bottomless pit of investment.
A counselor who doesn't really make himself transparent is spending money until he is old, and may still be opaque.
A life that makes you fully enlightened can never be completed by taking one or two exams or taking classes for several years. It is the whole process of tempering, trauma, healing and self-repair that you have really experienced in your life. This kind of repair and healing is your own research and development, not those universal templates in the course tell you.
Once, in order to be a good career planner, I really interviewed 100 companies and met 100 HR from different industries and occupations. I kept all their salary structure and recruitment needs in mind and marked them differently.
At the same time, in addition to helping my visitors pass the offer smoothly, I have to put my own expertise into it, such as teaching them to broadcast, guiding them to pass the interview talent, modifying and writing the interview draft, matching the interview clothes, guiding the eye etiquette and so on.
In order to be a good visitor of depression, anxiety and perfectionism, I sent a lot of psychological evaluation scales and the study of "Born in a Family" to my students to analyze their family structure and parents' situation. To chat with every student, to understand their family background and traumatic experience, I will continue to stimulate my own trauma, to feel the feelings of perfectionists and forced thinking visitors, to experience. Sometimes because of too much experience, I can't go out for a whole few months;
However, years of perception will leave a memory in your brain. Maybe when a visitor calls, you will have a strong sense of perception, and use your sixth sense to perceive the other person's age, hairstyle, type 9 personality, social status and so on.
With the help of the sixth sense, we can perceive a scene and a thing in the trauma of the other party through a word and a speed of speech of the visitor.
When you are called a "bug" by visitors, this bug-like perception really seems like ten years of hard work and study. But these are not in the book.
In order to do a good job in consultation on marriage and parenting, I paid attention to the video number 1000 of Haide, and then analyzed my own marriage feelings, family relations of relatives and friends and feelings of others in recent years. At the same time, because of my working experience in the hospital, I can also give more in-depth guidance to visitors in obstetrics and gynecology, pediatric health education knowledge and so on;
Like me, many colleagues are doing very well, some are therapists, some are meditation teachers, and Mandarin is the second best.
The peers who guide the career planning of civil servants are themselves government executives; Can give written examination, in-depth interview guidance, examination guidance;
Colleagues who guide academic planning, some teachers themselves are provincial key high schools that have taught students for decades and have taught employment guidance experts;
So, I want to ask you, if you are a psychological counselor, you have to set foot in a certain field. Do you think you can have irreplaceable advantages by listening to a few classes and getting a certificate, or do you really need to polish and develop more advantages to improve your comprehensive ability?
To study in thousands of books, it is better to take Wan Li Road. The theoretical knowledge taught in the book is the original thinking of others, but it may not be suitable for you. The real understanding is self-original thinking.
Whether you are a psychological counselor or an expert in any field, if you don't have the comprehensive ability of self-creation, self-investigation and self-improvement and don't get out of your well, you may only live in your well all your life.
The law of this world definitely does not mean that you read several books, take several papers and meet several big ones, which means that you are excellent. Up to now, you and I are just scholars. Why dare you say that you have seen the world?
The real world is a lifelong practice and a comprehensive ability to get out of the well.
Counselors, the most difficult thing is not textual research, nor is it victory. The hardest thing is that you don't know who you are!