Chapter 1: 10 Simple and easy-to-learn decompression method.
Chapter two: put away your bad mood
Chapter III: Facts and conjectures.
Long-term psychological stress will bring us a lot of negative emotions. The accumulation of these negative emotions will eventually affect our physical and mental health. So how to avoid the accumulation of such emotions?
Simple and easy to learn 10 decompression method
Stress is a physiological and psychological response to actual or potential threats in the environment. What is most easily perceived by us is negative emotions. Negative emotions can stimulate energy related to the electrochemical reaction of the central nervous system. If emotions are not treated correctly, they will become uncontrollable energy forms, which will affect physical and mental health. In short, any way to release energy can play a role in reducing pressure. Moreover, many decompression methods seem simple and common, but they can play a very good decompression effect.
1. Cherish yourself
Strengthening self-esteem at any time is the key to stress management. Self-esteem is like a person's energy reserve against stress. In the face of pressure, people with high self-esteem are more likely to remain calm and respond positively. Any activity that cherishes, appreciates and meets one's own needs is conducive to increasing self-esteem.
Cherish your own prescription: silently review the gains and progress of the day before going to bed, say positive words to yourself or thank yourself.
discuss
Talking is the most direct way to release stress. A high-quality conversation process can not only release negative emotions, but also a process of sorting out ideas and promoting problem solving. The key is the choice of the person to talk to and the boundary of the content to talk to. It's a very private matter, and you may have concerns after telling your friends. Try to be mentally prepared for the content before you speak. The effect of conversation depends largely on the trust and familiarity of both sides and the listener's reaction.
Prescription: Before you speak, communicate with your trusted confidante, let him/her listen to you patiently, don't interrupt actively, and give advice before you stop.
3. Abdominal breathing
Abdominal breathing is the simplest relaxation technique. When the attention of breathing is focused on the abdomen instead of the chest, the excitement of the sympathetic nervous system is reduced and the body's feelings will be relaxed. Abdominal breathing can immediately deal with tension, treat insomnia and relieve pain.
Abdominal breathing prescription: (1) comfortable posture; (2) concentrate; (3) Combined with imagination, such as inhaling fresh and clean air, changing the whole body and exhaling dirty gas.
meditate
Meditation is a simple and efficient relaxation method, which can effectively make you enter a state of inner peace, relax your mood and concentrate your thoughts. Meditation can clear the mind, increase awareness and acceptance, enhance intuition, contribute to physical health and prevent cardiovascular diseases. Thematic meditation can also play the role of psychotherapy. Such as "safety" construction, a sense of security in the mind, "safety" to manage stress or unpleasant experiences, "hugging yourself" to increase self-confidence and self-acceptance, and talking with important people to deal with emotional entanglements and traumatic experiences.
5. Humor relaxation method
Relaxation theory holds that laughter can release repressed thoughts and psychological energy. Humor can be used to reduce anger and anxiety, which has the dual effects of increasing happiness and reducing pain.
Humor prescription: (1) Find humorous things every day; (2) Watching comedy programs, movies, dramas, cross talks, etc. (3) play with children; (4) share jokes with friends; (5) Learn to exaggerate when describing situations and telling stories.
6. Organize emotions with words.
Writing itself is a way of self-expression and a controlled way of emotional catharsis. Long-term writing can promote problem solving and improve self-awareness. Writing unsent letters helps to deal with any breakdown and conflict in interpersonal relationships and alleviate the pain of the death of loved ones.
Writing prescription: (1) undisturbed private space: (2) Don't examine and judge right and wrong; (3) Let ideas flow freely.
7. concentrate on listening to the song.
The music is great. When people hear their favorite music, their first reaction is to feel comfortable and quiet inside. When the "emotional center" of the human nervous system receives auditory stimuli, emotions and moods will change and even penetrate into the unconscious level. Music can also break through the powerful psychological defense line, let emotions naturally follow the melody, and release potential and depressed emotions.
The prescription of music therapy: (1) Choose soothing music that suits your mood; (2) Quiet listening environment; (3) Take a posture and state similar to meditation (relax and concentrate).
8. Aerobic exercise
Exercise has antidepressant effect: A study by Yale University shows that regular exercise can activate a gene called VGF, which has antidepressant effect.
Yoga and Tai Ji Chuan are both good ways to relax, and physical relaxation will bring about emotional relaxation. Studies have confirmed that people who practice yoga for a long time will have positive changes in their self-image and reduce their sense of stress. Yoga and Tai Ji Chuan, the integration of body and mind, can increase self-acceptance, self-confidence, release negative emotions, and increase emotional control and calmness.
9. Get close to nature
Devote oneself to nature. For example, lying on the grass, sitting under a big tree, putting your feet in the flowing spring, enjoying the grass and trees quietly, feeling the breeze, or just breathing and savoring the breath of nature. Everything in nature will keep your attention away from worrying thoughts or depression. The whole person is bathed in sunshine, grass and beach. A trip to nature can calm and repair his heart for a period of time.
10. golden sleep time
Midnight 1 1 to morning 1 is the prime time for sleeping. At this time, the pineal gland secretes melatonin most vigorously. Melatonin can inhibit the excitability of human sympathetic nerve, lower blood pressure, slow down heart rate, help enhance human immune function, relieve fatigue and even kill cancer cells. After a good sleep, physical and psychological energy will be restored, and the sense of stress will naturally decrease.
Put away your bad mood.
Some people say that children are just like a pure blank sheet of paper, just waiting for adults to draw. You teach her kindness and generosity, and she will be kind and generous; You teach her to be mean and arrogant, and she will be mean and arrogant. I know, I always want my children to be kind, lovely and caring. I secretly told myself that I must put away my bad mood in the future, not only to learn to infect love with love, but also to convey warmth with warmth. I also want to use my care to care for that sincere and loving childlike innocence.
My daughter has a habit of telling me what she saw and heard at school every day when she comes back from school. Today, too, my daughter said, "My deskmate didn't bring a marker in painting class today, so I lent mine to him." I drank all the milk I brought today. I'm afraid I didn't drink. Xiaoyi drank it all at once. She said it was cold, so it tasted very comfortable. "
I am busy cooking, so I don't care what she says. I told her to do her homework quickly, and then turned and went to the kitchen. After a while, the doorbell rang. It was Sister Zhang next door who came to see us. We chatted in the kitchen for a while. This is the same mother. When she speaks, she talks about her children.
Sister Zhang complains that her son is heartless in everything he does, and some things can't be remembered after a hundred times. That's stupid. He always lent his notebook he bought on weekdays to his classmates, so I borrowed it. I never saw anyone listen to Jason. I suddenly thought of my daughter. I couldn't help complaining just now: "Sister Zhang, don't be depressed. Children are usually like this. Look at my children. They clamored for me to buy watercolor pens several times a semester, but they all lent them to my classmates. " Every day, she is afraid of thirst, so she prepares milk to take to school. But every day she always drinks less and gives more to others, and she doesn't know that it is unsanitary for everyone to use a cup. "
Jason and I talked for a long time in the kitchen. My meal was ready, Jason said he wouldn't bother you to eat, and he left. I invited my daughter to dinner, and she sat at the table and picked up chopsticks without taking food. After a moment's hesitation, she finally told me seriously: "Mom, I will never lend my watercolor pen to my deskmate again, and I will never give anyone milk again."
Suddenly, my daughter said this, and I was surprised. It is not a day or two since she lent her watercolor pen to her deskmate. I can hear others drinking milk every day. I had never heard her say such a thing, so I asked, "What's the matter?"
The daughter put on a look of disgust and said, "Aunt Zhang is right. My deskmate is really hateful. Even if I didn't bring a watercolor pen once or twice, I didn't bring it every time, so I deliberately licked my oil. " And milk, I think, really, it's unsanitary for several people to use a cup. "
As my daughter became more and more enthusiastic, she began to remember to me who was sloppy when she caught a cold and who always had juice stains on her lips when she ate.
She danced and I listened, but I couldn't help feeling sorry. I'm sure my daughter heard our chat, but she is too young to understand. My "bad mood" just now actually followed Jason's words. In fact, in my heart, I really appreciate the mutual help and care between children, but unfortunately she doesn't understand.
Facts and conjectures
I met him once in the consulting room.
There is a young girl. I didn't remember her at first. I only remember that she was wearing a light-colored monotonous dress, which made people unforgettable. But the white face was hidden by the black hair hanging on one side. To see her inner expression, it seems that you can see her inner appearance through that lock of hair first.
I wonder, is this hairstyle for girls a barrier to cover up their own thoughts?
After sitting down, we began to talk. At the beginning of the conversation, I felt mixed with an unnatural greeting. It's not that the visitor's expression is not fluent (in fact, she is very eloquent), but that her tone is wrong. I felt that there was a kind of irritation and provocation in her words, as if she was going to type something before she stepped into the clinic.
Do visitors come to see a psychiatrist with dissatisfaction? What is the reason why we broke up before we met? I realized that I couldn't keep this strange state, so I patiently said to her, "mind your own business first." We have been sitting face to face for more than ten minutes. Do you want to hear my feelings? "Some girls are surprised, as if I can't respond with such a calm and direct attitude.
Later, I learned that she was recommended by psychologists in other consulting institutions. For this reason, the girl thought that she was given a cold shoulder because she had to re-register and wait. At the same time, she is worried that she doesn't know me, and I will refuse her for some reason, or refer her to other psychologists again like kicking a ball. These thoughts kept surging in her mind. As you can imagine, when she sat in front of me, her mood was a mixture of expectation, worry and hostility.
After this heart-to-heart communication, I finally understood the girl and she gave up her hostile attitude. In this process, as a psychologist, I sincerely express my feelings and try my best to understand the visitors. The psychological distance between the two sides has narrowed a lot. She told me, "I think the proposal itself was rejected." I don't think I'm likable, and the consultant behind me must be unlikable. I even concluded that we can't be together for a long time, and even thought about what kind of hard words I would use to attack you if it was not accepted. "
I believe that she is not exaggerating, but really "prepared". In this way, in the first consultation, we focused on the feelings of the consulting relationship. It is very important to realize the psychological dilemma of visitors as soon as possible for mutual understanding and finding the starting point of consultation.
At the end of the consultation, the girl asked me, "Can I come next time?"
I asked her, "Shall we continue this topic next time?"
She said happily, "I hope."
I said to her, "Then you decide, it's all for your needs."
"You mean it's up to me? Is it really my phone? " The girl's question reveals a questioning tone, as if it needs to be affirmed again.
I nodded. "Yes, it's entirely up to you."
This kind of situation often happens in life. We might as well make an extended reflection on how we explain the people and things around us and whether we can involuntarily imagine the motives or intentions of others based on past experience.
If a person has experienced various misfortunes in his early years, such as being rejected by his parents, bullied by his brothers and sisters, and criticized by his teacher, all these will form a basic feeling and evaluation of himself: I may be a worthless and unpopular person, so I am alienated by everyone.
If a person always feels that he is not welcomed by the people around him, and no one really understands and likes him, then he will encounter psychological difficulties in his later growth, and interpersonal relationships, especially intimacy and trust, are prone to various problems. The most likely problem is that when we speculate about some people and things, we will more or less project our inner feelings and behaviors on others, and assume that these are also their motives and intentions. Unconsciously, the mixing of "our own thoughts" and "others' thoughts" will affect our correct understanding of things, and their perspective is distorted by our own so-called experience.
In the former case, the girl's growing environment and interpersonal relationship have never found a positive feeling. Too many negative experiences make her not believe that others can accept her and are willing to help herself, so she mistakenly understands the normal job introduction between psychologists as a "cold reception". Excessive defensive psychology makes her feel "decisive" to anyone, in order to protect herself from harm at any time. Understandably, too many injuries have caused this state.
Why do people have this misunderstanding? That's because we are usually used to believing what we have experienced and experienced. In the process of cognition, we are used to justifying ourselves and sticking to our own views. None of the above is your fault, but it should not be simply "transplanted" or "applied" to others. Because simply pushing yourself and others, it is likely that a "small mistake" in judgment will become a "thousand-mile fallacy" in fact.
In psychological counseling, the process of getting along with the visitors is to establish and repair the relationship on the premise of mutual understanding, which in itself is to complete a kind of growth. Everyone's heart is a small world. A can't be equal to B. C and D are different. Therefore, it is impossible to infer the truth without knowing what the other person really thinks. We might as well have a hypothesis (what might it be) first. Whether the hypothesis is true or not, we need to verify the following facts. The expression of the other party is verification, its behavior is verification, time is verification, and the fact result is verification.
We don't need to rely solely on ourselves to push others to get along with others, then we will see a more real relationship state.
Conclusion: In fact, there are many ways to relax the brain, such as talking, listening to music, singing and exercising. All these methods can help you relax your stress, drive away negative emotions and restore your physical and mental health. (The article was originally published in the first issue of Psychology and Health. : 2065438+May 2002, by Lu, Guan Hongfen and Li Jianru. Copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible and we will delete the content as soon as possible.