When we are young, we often take some things that some people do for granted, because it has been like this for many years. When I grow up, I gradually understand that no one pays, which is what it should be.
After marriage, Chen Moyuan often chats with an elder sister next door, who is three years older than her and has been married for nearly six years. Although not from a province or city, I still have a different kind of intimacy.
In Chen Mo's view, this elder sister's life is no different from that on TV, even more dramatic than that on TV. She has been married for six years, and has never been back to her mother's house once, and no one has come to see her.
Chen Mo can't imagine such a thing. How can a daughter really be like spilled water after marriage, and her parents will no longer care? My sister told her that two years ago, when she was ill, she wanted her mother to help with the children. Her mother gave her 5000 yuan a month's salary, so she couldn't come.
She certainly couldn't get this salary, so her mother hung up rudely: "Who gives birth and who takes it? I still earn more than 3 thousand a month outside?" How can I come here if you don't pay more? Your brother must marry a wife. "
After all, all the reasons are for her brother. Including the bride price of 80 thousand when she got married, the dowry is only three sets on the bed. Because of this, my mother-in-law has been very picky and has seen her position in the family, so she is helpless.
Although her husband is on her side, but her husband is working outside and often not at home, it is impossible to block all the embarrassment for her. She can only spit on Chen Mo. Chen Mo listened and denounced: "Your mother-in-law is simply too much!"
And every time I listen to my neighbor's sister say something, Chen Mo will feel scared silently, because at the beginning of her marriage, she and that sister had almost the same beginning.
02
For a woman, marrying far away is a brave decision in marriage.
Before you make this decision, you have to consider many things. Have you decided to go to a new place for the rest of your life? Do you know his family? Do you really know him? Are you sure about the happiness you want? Can this person be given to you in the future?
But many women didn't think so at first. At that time, in their eyes, there was only love and water, and love was greater than the sky.
Chen Mo's sister next door is like this, and so is Chen Mo. Who didn't set out for love? In just six years, let my sister next door see clearly that love is really illusory, with no beginning and no end.
You don't know when it will come into being and when it will end. It's easy to fall in love at first sight, but it's really hard to stay the same. As soon as she saw Chen Mo, she said to her, "Oh, sister, why don't you listen to your parents?" ? "Why are you married now?"
Chen Mo was surprised. How did she know that she didn't listen to her parents? Yes, she has always respected her parents' decisions, but this time, she didn't listen to her parents.
Chen Mo, who graduated from college, and her husband are both first lovers. After graduation, they are faced with the result of breaking up in different places. For the sake of love, Chen Mo lied to his parents at first that he stayed in his hometown and worked in the provincial capital. In fact, she has gone to his city, found a good job and settled down.
It was not until she went home for the New Year two years after graduation that her parents urged her to find someone. Only then did Chen Mo say that she had a boyfriend from other places. When her parents heard this, they immediately objected, told them to break up quickly, and then asked Chen Mo to go back for a blind date.
Of course she won't. The Spring Festival is very unpleasant. She left before the end of the year. Later, her father called her and said that they had agreed to be together, but the boy was coming to buy a house.
Chen Mo didn't say yes or no. But she knows in her heart that this is definitely impossible, because the boy is the only child in the family, and his parents will naturally not let him go to work in other places to buy a house.
03
Everything seems stuck. Chen Mo finally came up with a very bad idea. Anyway, she didn't break up, so she wasted it with her parents. After all, when she gets older, they have to agree if they don't agree.
Even then, she felt that her parents were unreasonable. Why do they only know that he is from other places for so many years and don't look at their feelings? She said, "How many four years can you spend in love in this life?"
She insists that he is the one who loves himself the most and the one who deserves to love himself the most. Therefore, for their love, she will never compromise.
In fact, the consumption method is not the worst. Later, the way she got married was even worse: having children. Although the child was not intentional, the arrival of the child was undoubtedly the biggest bargaining chip for her parents to finally compromise.
Her father sighed while preparing for the wedding. Mother got angry and began to scold her. Her mother has a bad temper, but she hasn't scolded her for many years since Chen Mo grew up.
She was miserable one by one, thinking that she could get married as long as she got married anyway. She never thought whether her waywardness disappointed her parents or consumed their love. And this love, have you ever been consumed?
She didn't think about these questions, because in her subconscious, she always thought that parents loved their children and they were willing to forgive their children for any mistakes, so she dared to be so reckless.
After listening to that elder sister telling her story, she didn't see her parents again after being married for six years. She began to panic: Will she be like this? Won't mom forgive her?
She remembers calling her mother some time ago and saying that she was alone here and couldn't understand the local dialect. She wants her mother to play and take care of her pregnant self. Her mother replied, "I'm going to travel, and I don't have time!" " "
When she remembered these things, she was even more flustered. So I called my mother again, and I was in tears: "Mom, are you and dad not going to want me?"
04
The next afternoon, her mother came over and suddenly appeared at the door without saying hello. Opening the door, she looked cold: "What are you looking at? Do I have words on my face? "
Chen Mo didn't know whether she was happy or other emotions. Anyway, there has never been such a moment. She thinks her somewhat malicious mother is cute. She invited her mother in, with three points of doubt, three points of disbelief and four points of joy: "Mom, didn't you say you didn't have time to come and take care of me?"
Her mother sat down, looked around, and then said, "I'll see if you're dead. Are you still alive?" Later, I learned that her mother recognized the abnormality in her words that day and was in a wrong mood. She thought she was being bullied here and didn't dare to tell them, so she quietly came to explore the situation and see what was going on.
Seeing nothing, I naturally began to scold her: "Look, you wanted to marry yourself at the beginning, and now you regret it?" Do you know what we said is true? "
Chen Mo has been married for less than half a year. In fact, she doesn't regret marrying him. She just walked away and found herself really homesick. She is afraid that one day, like that sister, she will be unfamiliar with her family.
She asked her sister why she didn't go back. She said it would cost money to go back, and no one at home welcomed her. When I went back, I only asked her for money. Without money, her parents were unhappy, saying that she had no filial piety and so on.
Only then did Chen Mo realize that she didn't realize the preciousness of what she had from the beginning, and she thought it was normal for her children. In fact, there are so many things to take for granted in this world. Everyone's kindness to himself is like a gift from God. You have to learn to cherish, in order to understand its value.