Text: Zheng may my words warm you ~
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Teacher Tu Lei, an emotional expert, once described marriage like this:
The road to marriage is a one-way street. Some couples kept walking hand in hand, while others got separated at the fork in the road. There is no life, no time to go back, the lost will never come back, and the broken heart will never heal.
Marriage has a slightly different meaning for men and women. For men, marriage is to find them a harbor and let their wandering body and mind have a home. For women, marriage determines their happiness for the rest of their lives, so they must be treated with caution.
As the saying goes, men are afraid of getting into the wrong business, while women are afraid of marrying the wrong person. Because a man's character will determine whether a woman's marriage is happy or not. So I always think that women must choose carefully when choosing a spouse.
In fact, everyone's pursuit of marriage is the same, and they all want a happy marriage. But how to operate in marriage is different for everyone, so the outcome of marriage is different. But think about it carefully, I believe that marriage is happy as long as both feelings and materials are taken into account.
Speaking of older women, I believe people like them have a bad impression. Most people think that the reason why older women stay behind is because they worship money, or they are not allowed to be themselves and overestimate themselves.
In fact, these reasons do exist in most leftover women, but they do not represent all. The reasons why older women stay behind are very complicated, so we should treat this phenomenon dialectically.
-02-
In people's eyes, Zhang Ying is an elderly woman. She is 32 years old, single and unmarried, and is a white-collar worker in the city. My own conditions are not bad, and my eyes are naturally high.
Over the years, there have been many qualified men around Zhang Ying, but at that time, she was so proud that she always felt that the next one would be better, so she chose to leave herself.
At the age of 30, most people around her are married, and excellent men look down on her age, so she is a little panicked. But this kind of thing, marriage, cannot be solved at once. I believe everyone knows how difficult it is to meet a suitable person. Therefore, although Zhang Ying was in a hurry, she still couldn't find a suitable man.
People around her advised her not to set her sights so high, but to find an ordinary one. Zhang Ying also relaxed the conditions and introduced a lot to her, but she still felt a little poor.
In fact, the reason why Zhang Ying was left behind is very complicated. She once had two relationships, one of which was the first love. The man was her college classmate and had a good relationship, but in the end he broke up because of family discord.
Zhang Ying broke up with her first boyfriend when she was 25. Then she was single for two years and met a second boyfriend.
-03-
Zhang Ying talked with her second boyfriend for more than two years. Originally, they had talked about marriage, but the two families had differences because of the bride price and buying a house, which eventually led to the breakup.
After these two feelings, Zhang Ying had some doubts about marriage and love. But her parents at home think that she is too old and has been forced to get married. They also asked her to marry any suitable man. After all, the older a woman gets, the harder it is to find a partner.
But Zhang Ying didn't want to find a man casually, she wanted to find a suitable one that she liked, so she kept insisting. She doesn't think she is picky. She believes that finding a life partner must be cautious, not blind and not casual.
She said: I don't really ask much. Besides being able to look each other in the eye, the most crucial factor for me is that I must be the right person. This is a greater condition for happiness.
Because only when the two companies are equal in strength and the ability and level of two people are equal, there will be a real match, and there will be no situation in which one will overwhelm the other.
Therefore, in her criteria for choosing a spouse, she definitely doesn't want to touch foreign men and Phoenix men, saying that it is for her own life and happiness.
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Zhang Ying once kissed a Phoenix man, but that blind date made Zhang Ying very angry.
Phoenix man's name is Hong Qiang. At the beginning, it was introduced by a friend of Zhang Ying's parents, saying that men have excellent conditions. When his parents saw him, they were moved. Let Zhang Ying have a try.
Zhang Ying has seen pictures of men. They look ordinary and have average bodies. Two people once added WeChat and talked a few words. Hongjiang asked Zhang Ying to meet him.
Zhang Ying also knows the basic situation of Hongjiang. He is 33 years old, the same age as Zhang Ying, and holds a bachelor's degree. Now I am a section chief, so I am young and promising. I heard that my family is not so good, my hometown is in the countryside, and my parents are farmers. But over the years, he bought a house in the city by his own efforts and is still repaying the loan.
On the blind date, two people made an appointment in a cafe. After they met, they chatted for a while. Zhang Ying thinks Hongjiang is more polite and cultured, and his character looks calm and mature. He looks really good. Zhang Ying doesn't hate him. I also think those people in the world may be too prejudiced against Phoenix Man.
But what Hongjiang said next made Zhang Ying angry.
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Said: "Zhang, I am a straightforward person. I will talk about my mate selection conditions on this blind date, and then if you think it's ok, we can continue to contact. " If we don't agree, then we don't have to waste time. "
Zhang Ying one leng, but still nodded and motioned for him to go on.
Hong Qiang went on to say, "Actually, my mate selection conditions are very simple, and I know your basic situation. I just want you to do two things. One is that you want to marry off your house when you get married, and the other is that I will take my parents to live together after marriage, and then you will honor them and serve them. "
Zhang Ying was very angry when he heard this: "Do you mean I should post it backwards?"
Hong Qiang said naturally, "You are 32 years old and an older woman. It is no exaggeration to say that it will be more difficult to have children in the future. Me, too. I have a successful career. It's the highs for you to marry me, and it's also appropriate to marry a house. As for filial piety, you will be my family after you marry me, and my parents will be your parents. This is what you should do to commemorate them. "
-06-
Zhang Ying stood up directly and said, "Sorry, you're not getting married, you're just sucking blood! Trying to drain my family's property! I can't accept it. "
The two finally broke up in discord. Since then, Zhang Ying has been afraid of Phoenix Men.
After that blind date, Zhang Ying resolutely didn't want to find a Phoenix man whose conditions were too different from his own, for fear of meeting a family who always asked for it and always needed his own support but had no margin.
At the same time, because she is and needs to take care of her parents, she doesn't want to find a foreign account. I'm worried that if the man goes back to his city in the future, he won't be able to take care of his parents. If he doesn't follow, the relationship between husband and wife will face problems again.
Sometimes, too specific and harsh standards may make you miss a marriage that might be more suitable for you.
In fact, choosing the other half of marriage is not measured by a ruler, but by the life and conduct of the other party. The key is to find the right person.
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The above is related to the saying that men are afraid of thirty-three, and it is about the sharing of marriage. After reading the meaning of female fear 285, I hope this will help everyone!