In real life, we also have moments when we feel that life is getting more and more boring, we have no passion for work, and social activities are also boring. I used to be interested in things, but now I am not interested in love. I have nothing to say with my partner, and my feelings are getting weaker and weaker.
Therefore, we want to know:
Barbara, the most influential mentor in the field of personal growth? Dr Angelis wrote the answer in How to Improve the Ability of Love. She told us that passion is the source and motivation of everything. After reading this book, you will regain the joy of life, stimulate greater enthusiasm for life, know how to love, express love and keep love fresh.
Barbara? Dr Angelis is a famous American interpersonal expert and best-selling author. In the past 25 years, she has published 14 bestsellers, which have been translated into more than 20 languages and sold more than 9 million copies. Among them, living in the present, love is the answer to everything, how to practice in love, inner revolution and so on. Have topped the best-seller list in The New York Times.
The book How to Improve Love Ability is divided into two parts. The first part is about the reflection of passion, and the second part is about how to improve the ability of love through practice.
Football fans watch the World Cup, drama fans indulge in soap operas, book fans indulge in novels with wide brains, and otaku indulge in online games because they are eager to get passion from them and make us happy. These are all external exciting scenes.
What we need is inner passion. Only the passion that comes from ourselves can truly satisfy ourselves, so that we will not be stolen and we can feel that we are really alive.
Passion comes from commitment. When you devote yourself to a dream or a career, you will be passionate about it. The greater the commitment, the more full and intense the passion.
Passion can not only give you strength to learn, but also make you laugh and love with gratitude, and it can also have an impact on the world and the people around you.
Once the author Barbara flew to give a lecture, and her neighbor was a salesman. He has been traveling for a week and is on his way home now.
Barbara talked to the shop assistant for hours. At the end of the conversation, the salesman sincerely said to Barbara, "I must admit that I really envy you."
"Why?" Barbara asked curiously.
He said, "Because I am just a salesman, and your work touches people's hearts and makes a practical contribution to the world. How I hope that my job is not just to support my family, but to do something really meaningful like you. "
Barbara looked at the warm and considerate person in front of her and recalled the happy chat time just now. She said, "Thank you for your honesty, but I also want you to know that you are wrong! You have done many great things in your life. In fact, you have been doing this for hours. You are a passionate and caring person, and your passion has undoubtedly added something valuable to my life. Your kindness and love have influenced me. I bet that your love and enthusiasm will have an impact on many people's lives. "
The salesman's eyes filled with tears and thanked him in a hoarse voice. "I really need to hear this." I feel like a failure recently because I didn't do anything decent. Before you said what you just said, I never thought that my passion for life could have an impact on others. But I know you are right, because your passion has a great influence on me. "
Passion is your source. No matter who you get along with, passion will make you sing. All the choices you make will echo in passion and echo in passion.
Passion is not an idea or an idea, but a feeling or emotion. Passion can enhance the energy of love, and the truly powerful signal of love is transmitted through nonverbal means, through eyes, expressions, gestures and actions.
Love is everyone's instinct, but how to love better and how to make the other person feel your love needs practice. The book gives several ways to improve the ability of love.
1, overcome fear
In modern society, more and more young people choose to be single, partly because they dare not give their hearts.
Because deep love requires great courage, you need to overcome your fear, drop your guard and disguise in front of your lover, open your heart frankly to each other and show your most intimate hiding place.
Deep love will make you uncomfortable because it forces you to look at yourself like a mirror.
Deep love also requires you to leave your comfort zone and go to another world.
However, once you overcome your fear and give your heart, intimacy will become your refuge and safe house.
In Barbara's house, there is a very special sculpture, in which two big bears sit back to back, leaning against each other, staring at each other, with contented calm on their faces. This statue is a portrayal of the love life of Barbara and her husband.
They opened their hearts to each other, completely walked into each other's lives, and felt at ease around each other, able to look up to their expectations and dream their own dreams. No matter what they do, they feel at ease because they know that another person is by their side.
2. Learn to share love
Jin Yunrong, a psychological counselor, told a story. When she was studying in Paris, she studied color psychotherapy. In class, the teacher told everyone to close their eyes and imagine that they were in a beautiful garden. There are many roses in the garden. You can smell the roses and feel beautiful, peaceful and rich inside. Then the teacher asked everyone to stretch out their right hands and hold the left hand of the person next to them.
After shaking hands, I kept thinking to myself: "I am in the beautiful rose garden, I feel so happy and happy, and I feel very lucky to sit next to you and study together."
The teacher told them to keep thinking about this feeling instead of saying it. Then, something special happened, and the holding hands began to tremble slowly. The people next to each other felt the affection in each other's hearts.
After the class, Mr Jin Yunrong went home and practiced sharing love with his husband. At that time, they were watching TV in front of the TV. Mr. King said nothing, but held his hand and crossed his fingers. Mr. Jin has been saying in his heart: "I love you so much, I feel so happy, you are a very good person, and I am very happy to marry you." She kept thinking like this in her mind, and then her husband felt it. His hands began to tremble slowly, sweating a lot, and then trembled violently. He felt the love and energy she shared.
This is a magical and special emotional communication, which can convey rich friendship and love energy without speaking.
3. The power of hugging
Barbara accidentally burned her finger while trying to repair electrical equipment. She showed her injured finger to her husband who was watching TV. The husband immediately put the ice on Barbara's hand and then held her quietly. After that, he put his arm around her shoulder, stroked her hair with one hand and sat quietly with her for a few minutes.
Barbara said that when she nestled in her husband's arms, she allowed herself to be completely immersed in this moment and let her thoughts fly freely:
Such a deep hug can heal the pain of the past.
A deep hug is a heartfelt and loving hug. This affectionate hug will make our skin record that moment, and the power of this hug will spread throughout the body and heal ourselves.
4. Love with your eyes
Our eyes can transmit temperature. If your eyes are full of love, you will feel Shi Huo's love. Through the practice of gazing at love, you will see your lover's heart and be more connected with him.
The book gives the practice method of falling in love with eyes:
Hold your partner's hand and focus on his eyes. When two people's eyes meet, don't stare, let your eyes relax, take a deep breath, and imagine that you are looking through his eyes, looking in, looking deep, and seeing the depths of your soul through your eyes:
Feeling as if your other half is a pure expression of love, send him a silent message: "I see all of you, know the real you, and I love you."
Imagine the love flowing in your eyes, pouring into your partner's heart and smoothing every scar.
Step 5 feel love with your heart
There is a concept called beauty, which is to cultivate the ability to feel beauty and contact beauty in daily life.
Feel the cool breeze in summer evening, the slight coolness when autumn comes, the feeling of a drop of rain falling on the palm of your hand, the fresh sound of stepping on the fallen leaves on the roadside, quietly observe the changes of potted plants on the table, listen to the church bells, watch geese fly through the sky and taste their own tomato and egg noodles.
Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind are always open, and daily life will make us very happy, so we don't have to go far away to find freshness and poetry.
You can also use this method to cultivate your love ability and consciously and actively look for the advantages of your lover: her delicate gestures, his strong back curve, her supple hair and his solid and powerful physique; Her gentleness is like water, and his humor. ......
In this way, every time you see your lover, you will find more reasons to love him deeply.
Conclusion:
Barbara said that the ability to love is like any language. If you want to use it freely, you must study and practice until you master it.
In addition to the above methods, the book also talks about love words, love touching, love kissing and other exercises, which can improve your love ability.
Reading the book "How to Improve the Ability of Love" will give you the ability to create a full and complete life, make you full of passion every 24 hours, and bid farewell to boredom.
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About the author: tireless human color, constant reading and writing, looking for self in the text.