When I read "I have an inexplicable sense of happiness", I think Mr. Ren actually thought about the above questions and came up with his own answer. Teacher Ren is happy for his smooth growth, but he is confused about whether the prescription of "waiting" really works, which is also the reason for his inexplicable happiness.
Faced with frequent family problems, Mr. Ren made the choice of "waiting". If I were you, I might not do this, because this seemingly successful "magic operation" is actually full of risks, just because Xiao Xia's family situation has improved because her parents have found a new job, and these risks have been fortunately avoided. In the whole process of this case, there are many links that any teacher has missed. Just imagine, if Xiao Xia doesn't go home and spend the food money given by his parents freely, can the class teacher give him help and guidance in time? Xiao Xia doesn't go to KFC to do his homework after leaving campus every day. Can the head teacher be responsible for his own safety? If Xiao Xia's parents can't find a job again, will things get better in Xiao Xia? These risks are only passed on because Mr. Ren subjectively thinks that this family can't help. As a class teacher, he wants to educate a student alone, or even save a student alone, which is not in line with the development law of basic education.
An iron-fisted class teacher, a flowing student. The head teacher can manage the class section by section, and can learn lessons and come back. But for every student, his high school career is only once, and he can't afford risks and failures. So I think the class teacher should not fight alone when he encounters problems, but should actively seek foreign aid to solve the problem.
So what foreign aid are you looking for? How to find foreign aid? You can think from the following aspects:
Foreign aid 1: school department
Class management is inseparable from the support and help of the school, especially the problems that are difficult to solve by our own efforts. We should actively seek the support of the school. In this case, Xiao Xia ran away from home due to poor communication due to family problems, and the class teacher failed to solve it many times or even intensified. In that case, why not seek help from the school's moral education office, the school's family guidance center or the mental health department? With the support of leaders, professional guidance and the enthusiastic help of the head teacher, I believe the problems in Xiao Xia will be better solved. In recent years, there have been many conflicts between teachers and students in news reports, mostly because the class teacher regards himself as the only person in charge of class management and doesn't know how to maneuver when encountering things. Face-to-face confrontation leads to both losses, but he doesn't know that education is no small matter, and every step is related to the growth of students. If it is fruitless to solve it alone, he must find a way to gather the strength of all departments to educate together.
Foreign aid 2: peers
In class life, students' important others, except teachers, are classmates who live together day and night. Therefore, peer education is an indispensable way of education. They can share experiences, help each other and achieve common development. In this case, we might as well let our classmates act as the third person to accompany the head teacher's home visit, talk more about the advantages of Xiao Xia, and use the praise of the third person to change parents' evaluation of Xiao Xia. In addition, Xiao Xia can be given a post that is not difficult to do but needs to be adhered to, such as collecting milk for the class and being a blackboard cleaner in the class, so that he can realize that even ordinary people can bring light to others.
Foreign Aid III: Community Government
Xiao Xia is a minor. When her family encounters difficulties or can't continue studying, she can also seek help from the community or the government. In this case, the class teacher can advise Xiao Xia's parents to seek help from the local community or the Women's Federation. Schools can also contact the community to inform Xiao Xia's family situation. The community can recommend jobs to Xiaoxia's parents. The Women's Federation can also guide Xiao Xia's parents to correctly handle the parent-child relationship. When necessary, the community can also take a series of rescue measures for such families. In this way, we will strive to grow together in many ways.
Of course, there are other foreign aid. For example, Mr. Ren can also use similar students who have graduated before to invite him to have a dialogue (online and offline) and use his own experience to guide the relationship with his parents. In addition, Mr. Ren can also help Xiao Xia tide over the difficulties through targeted film and television works, documentaries and books ... In short, there will always be a way, and foreign aid will always be waiting for the invitation of the class teacher somewhere.
The management of a class teacher is like a circle, and the circle is the effect he can produce when educating students. If foreign aid can be used, it is equivalent to adding a few petals around the circle. At this time, the perimeter of the class teacher's ability is much longer than before (pictured), which can produce better effect of educating students and avoid some unnecessary risks.
It's not that spring stands out, but that spring is full of flowers. Education is the art of cultivating all love, and naturally it cannot be done by one person. The head teacher should remember, don't think you are an omnipotent god. The occasional success of going it alone may bring a sense of accomplishment, but students are the main body to take risks, and the consequences are incalculable. Therefore, when the class teacher tries his best to give full play to his own light and heat, he might as well borrow more light from other great gods to find the most suitable way to guide students to grow up actively.
Attached to the original case:
Son, you will understand when you grow up.
"Hello, are you the parents of Little Summer? I'm Xiao Xia's teacher. He hasn't arrived at school yet. Is there anything wrong? " "Oh, teacher, he went out last night and didn't come back. We don't know. Let him go. " Then the phone hung up, and when you call again, you said you were busy and hung up in a hurry.
In order to find Xiao Xia as soon as possible, I contacted him on QQ, but there was no reply. I found Xiao Zhang, the best classmate in Xiao Xia, and asked him to send a message to Xiao Xia, saying that he was at home on leave and wanted to play with Xiao Xia, and asked him where he was. Sure enough, Xiao Xia was in a basketball court nearby, so I pretended to play by myself, then "bumped into" Xiao Xia and took him back to school. After understanding, I found that Xiao Xia's family came from other provinces to do business. During this period, they owed a lot of debts, and their grandparents in their hometown were seriously ill, so their parents were very irritable. They are considering moving back to their hometown completely. However, there are still two months before the senior high school entrance examination in Xiao Xia, so it is not realistic to transfer. So they vent their emotions on Xiao Xia, and they are more and more strict with Xiao Xia, so they get angry easily. The contradiction finally broke out last night. When parents saw Xiao Xia playing with her mobile phone, they smashed it directly. Xiao Xia ran away from home penniless and slept at the bus stop all night. What's more, this is not the first time he has run away from home. There have been several times before, but his parents don't care, so the teacher doesn't know.
? Because he usually performs well, I didn't know his difficulties until today. If an adult encounters this situation, it is difficult to estimate, let alone an adolescent child with immature mental development and soft blood. Xiao Xia's grades are very good. In class calculation, I understand the importance of learning and hope to share my parents' worries. However, parents are sometimes really "unreasonable", which makes Xiao Xia's mood fluctuate greatly. From him, I can already feel a child's thinking about the meaning of life. At this rate, there is a high probability that he will be depressed. I patiently enlightened Xiao Xia and decided to go to his house at night.
? When they met, it was polite for his parents to see me bring Xiao Xia back, but during the conversation, there was resentment between the lines. I stated the importance of reading and illustrated with examples that the present difficulties are nothing compared with the children's future. As long as you study hard, everything will be fine in the future. Now focus on the child's study first, don't be too hard on him, give him some freedom, and parents agree.
? When I came back, I had a vague sense of foreboding that they would change easily. Sure enough, two days later, Xiao Xia didn't come to school again. When the phone rang, the parents' tone became even more indifferent, saying that Xiao Xia was hopeless, and advised the teacher not to look for it again. Who sent the message this time? Xiao Xia didn't reply. I was so anxious to look everywhere that I finally found him in the evening. He sat at the bus stop with a blank face and glassy eyes. It seems that he will spend the night at the station again. Only after asking did I know that he left home without eating last night and has been hungry until now.
? I took him to eat his favorite noodles and repeatedly thought about how to help him solve the current problem. As parents of elders, it is easy to make them change. How easy is it for Xiao Xia to grow up instantly, understand his parents and adapt to such a family environment? He has no other relatives here. If this happens again, maybe they will all leave the city, so I won't be able to find them so easily. To be fair, with the present situation of his parents, who dares to take Xiao Xia in easily? Xiao Xia wants to study, but when he comes up, his mood seems "loveless"
? I think, with the growth of Xiao Xia, he should gradually become less stubborn and soft-blooded, mature and steady, more understanding of his parents, and more responsible for his own life. But with his current psychological level, the senior high school entrance examination is coming soon. How can we help him deal with the contradiction with his parents? On second thought, I told Xiao Xia that he had come up with a "definite solution" and he agreed to let me take him home.
? In front of their family, I put forward a solution: in the future, he won't eat at home in the morning, evening and weekend (there is lunch at school), and his parents will give him some money to eat. After the summer, he will go to the nearby KFC to do his homework at night. 10 will go home to take a shower on time, go to his room to sleep, and get up in the morning to go to school directly. Everyone should try to avoid meeting each other and give each other space. I am glad that this plan has been recognized by everyone, but at the same time I feel that the task is arduous. After all, there are hidden dangers for Xiao Xia to stay in KFC, and I will do my duty to protect and care for him.
? In the next two months, I went to KFC to accompany him from time to time in the evening and invited him to my house for dinner every once in a while. He also trusts me very much. Although there are some minor contradictions, they can be solved because of mutual trust.
After the senior high school entrance examination, Xiao Xia returned to his hometown. After the results were announced, he did well and was admitted to a first-class standard school. He usually lives on campus and goes home on weekends, and his parents have found a new job. Everything seems to be slowly getting on track.
A few days ago, Xiao Xia came back to see me. He is a senior three now. He is a big boy, full of expectations for the future, a little more stable. When it comes to parents, he is no longer angry, but more understanding and care. Suddenly, I have a sense of happiness. Yes, life is not a movie. There are not so many moments of epiphany and recovery, giving children room and time to grow up. With the accumulation of years, children grow up and gradually understand a lot of things.
(Dongfu Middle School, Haicang District, Xiamen City, Fujian Province? Ren Shaoduo)