But in fact, even the most loving couples will have more than 200 thoughts of divorce and more than 50 thoughts of strangulation in their lives. Therefore, in contrast, quarreling in love and escalating contradictions can only be regarded as pediatrics.
There is no real "meeting the right person at the right time", but when you think you meet the right person, you have mastered the skills of how to get along with your lover and resolve conflicts.
If, unfortunately, your's relationship has already broken up, or even broken up, and you are thinking about how to recover, it is very important to resolve conflicts and learn to rebuild the mode of getting along with each other in the process of recovery. Generally speaking, we can start with the following points.
1. Don't get back together, and don't be divorced blindly. Some people's first reaction after breaking up is to apologize to each other and get back together In fact, at this time, the problem between you has not been solved, and the other party is at the highest point of rejection. Even if you apologize, you can alleviate it properly, and it is impossible to reach a settlement immediately. If you can make up with an apology, it is definitely not a real breakup.
However, it is not advisable to break off diplomatic relations blindly, because during the period of breaking off diplomatic relations, it is entirely possible for the other party to find a new lover immediately and invest in another relationship, and you will be fine from then on.
The most important thing you should do at this stage is to keep in touch as far as possible without resistance from the other party. Don't let him think that you are still waiting for him and want to get back together, but at the same time, you can't let him think that you have considered finding a new lover. If possible, it is best to keep a little closer than friends, but if you don't feel love, you should learn to upgrade your relationship to an ambiguous state. If it is a boy who saves his girlfriend, remember not to be all hands at this stage, keep a gentleman's demeanor and do a good job of caring; If you are a girl, remember not to let the other party get anything they want, and there should be no interaction and contact between couples until they are reunited.
Remember, at this stage, just try to adjust the relationship closer to ambiguity and don't go any further.
2. Apologizing is only a formality, and the subsequent growth is more important, but only if the other party needs to participate and witness. Generally speaking, when a relationship breaks up, the other party has no absolute fault, but there must be one party who needs to apologize from the division of responsibilities. If the party who breaks up wants to save the relationship, it can apologize, but as long as it goes through the motions, this action is ok.
The next thing to do is to prove your change with actions, because the most important point of apology is "how to change, what to do next", so you should let the other party see that you really have the heart to repent and change. This process needs his witness. Because you can't change overnight, and even if you can, he won't believe it.
So all you have to do is let him see this "process of hard work", even if you pretend in the early stage. The key is that you have to pretend to be true. Just like you insist on doing good deeds, the first day you are pretending, the second day you are acting, and the third day you are putting on a show, but if you persist for ten years, the nature will be different.
3. Don't expose the sense of demand at once, you need to output slowly and steadily. If you tell him at the beginning of your recovery that you want to recover and will change for him, then most of them will not believe you and will not be moved. Even if you ask him to witness, he may not be too lazy to look at you.
Because you are selling these actions and trying to make him see you in your way, but people will resist and don't like such orders, even if you are gentle. Especially when it comes to saving boyfriends, men like challenging things. Now that you know you won't leave and you like him, he can find other targets in the raiders with peace of mind.
So even if there is no way, this sense of need can't be exposed at once. Let him get used to your existence gradually, and output your feelings for him smoothly after setting off an ambiguous atmosphere. The key is that the output of feelings needs mutual benefit. If he doesn't have this output, and you just express your love for him blindly, then saving this relationship becomes an impossible task.
However, if you can do this well and combine the tips mentioned above to speed up the improvement of your relationship, then you have a great chance to make a smooth transition to the love stage, and it is only a matter of time before you express your willingness to get back together or even confess again.
The above is the general framework for couples to resolve conflicts and recover smoothly after breaking up. Of course, we need to make different adjustments according to different personalities, but the thinking is unchanged. What needs to be improved in the process is the ability to feel each other's emotions. In short, it is higher emotional intelligence and its application in speech. How to say the right words at the right time and accelerate the warming of feelings? This requires a correct response according to the specific chat scene.
[Recommended in the past]
Key points of reunion in recovery period
Falling in love is not playing "you draw and I guess"
Do you really love him? Beware of falling into the emotional trap.
_
Press and hold the QR code for 3 seconds.
We provide professional emotional services. For details, please click "Read the original".