Basic skills of psychological counseling
Golden sentence:
If you don't practice boxing, you will practice basic skills when you are free.
A man who can control his emotions is greater than a general who can win an ideal city. -Napoleon
Give each other what they need, not what they want.
Qualities of consultants: Personality (helping others)?
Psychology (insist on giving)
Four basic skills: listening to questions and expressing observations.
First, listen.
Are you an excellent listener in all kinds of relationships?
(A) Listening attitude
1. The meaning of listening
(1) to establish a relationship
(2) cathartic and therapeutic effects
Golden sentence:
Let's say that life is infinite, and we hear more in silence than they hear in sound.
Speech is expression, and expression is healing.
(3) Understand the problems and root causes
2. Types of listening
(1) Selective listening (mainly consultants, cleaning up the mess)
(2) Non-selective analysis (mainly visitors, let them express freely)
3. pay attention.
(1) Psychological Framework of Listening
A. Tourists' experience
B. The mood of tourists
C. Tourists' behavior
Case: Senior 2 students /5-person sand table group/divorced young women
(2) Combination of listening and attention: Have a complete and accurate understanding of visitors' problems.
A. understand the surface meaning and deep meaning of visitors.
B. literal meaning ~ moral
C. listen objectively: don't show surprise or disgust, don't interrupt casually, but react early.
D. The audience should respond positively.
Case: 4 0-year-old male remarried /32-year-old female /39-year-old financial female/middle-aged incestuous male.
Psychology solves two problems: the unity of knowledge and action.
(2) Pay attention to posture
Eye contact
Stranger: Look at this triangle. (Between the shoulders and the top of the head)
Regular customer: Look at the inverted triangle (between eyes and nose).
Unfamiliar: Look at the triangle. (from chin to middle forehead)
(1) the starting point of communication
(2) Eyes are very important (natural gaze accounts for 30%-60%)
2. Changes in sound characteristics (including sound quality, volume, tone and speaking rhythm). )
(1) Volume: size
(2) Tone: high and low
(3) Speech speed: speed
Experience: "Go home and stop shopping"/"Will you hurry up?"
A sensitive grasp of the above nuances is the ability of an excellent consultant.
Learn to listen
Listen attentively.
A sign of respect
Performance of understanding
Fundamentals of information processing
Guarantee of relationship establishment
Listening is the basis of consultation.
Listening is the basic skill of the consultant profession.
Listening is the basis of effective consultation.
listening exercise
1. The purpose of training is to better accompany visitors, pay attention to and analyze the whole story of the problem through effective listening.
Two. Key points of training
1. Grasp the meaning of listening and distinguish between active listening and being listened to!
2. Pay attention to the linguistic and non-linguistic features in listening.
(Multiple queues/phones)
3. Grasp the appropriate response in listening.
(C) passive listening and active listening
Common passive listening has the following manifestations:
One is to judge before listening.
Second, I heard what I wanted to hear.
Third, there is no patience.
The fourth is distraction or distraction.
Fifth, the sensitivity of listening is not enough (the same frequency as the person in front of you)
Thinking: What's the key point?
How to weave a sieve and how to adjust the size of the sieve hole is a kind of sensitivity, which is composed of psychological counseling technology, diagnostic theory, experience and personal characteristics.
Second, the alliance training
1. Team members and role playing
A four-person team: a visitor and three consultants.
2. Case study: Set different help-seeking scenarios.
The training content is as follows
Case:
Helper: 22-year-old female teacher, unable to accept the affair between her good friend and her husband. To get help.
My husband's affair turned out to be my good friend (hands clenched). I can't believe that she is that kind of person (sighs and shakes her head). My husband and I were in love for five years before we got married, and our relationship has always been very good. My friend's relationship is very smooth. Love failed several times. I've been trying to help her. Unexpectedly, she seduced my husband and brazenly told me that she was jealous of my happiness (hands clasped). My happiness comes from my own efforts. She used to have two feet on both sides. I accompanied her to take care of her during the abortion and kept her secret. I always clean up the mess for her. What are people still doing? Get what you deserve (shortness of breath) She ruined my happiness today (hands clenched). What is this woman still doing alive? Serves you right. (Shortness of breath)
Counselor 1. In the face of the helper, lean forward slightly, make eye contact in time, make things dignified, change your hands with the helper's movements, and occasionally nod your head to show your understanding of the helper's feelings.
Counselor number two. Lean back when facing help. Eyes really look underground, face expressionless.
Counselor number three Facing the helper, lean back, look into the distance and meditate.
Comments:
Psychological Counselor 1: Nonverbal information conforms to the psychological and emotional state of people who come to hide, and conveys dedicated respect.
Consultant 2: I didn't put myself in the customer's question.
Consultant 3: I didn't concentrate on listening to the customer's questions, but only on my own thinking.
Watch industry tourism
Helper: I have been dating my girlfriend for several years, and I am her first man. I thought it would work! I didn't expect to feel less and less about her now. Recently, I fell in love with another girl At first I thought it was just an emotional transition, but the longer I walked, the more I couldn't extricate myself (my voice dropped), just like the first love. I can't live without her. What have I done? If my girlfriend finds out, she will hate me to death (keep her voice down and keep her head down), but I have no feelings for her. I am in pain. What should I do?
Counselor 1: You are in love with another woman, and you can't help being attracted to her. It has reached the point where she can't do it, but your girlfriend is in the way and you can't pursue her wholeheartedly.
Counselor 2: You have no feelings for your girlfriend. You like another woman, but you dare not break up because you feel ashamed of your girlfriend. You are miserable because you don't feel comfortable pursuing the person you love.
Counselor 3: You are in love with your girlfriend. You think you will be the last candidate. Unexpectedly, another person appeared, ruining the relationship between your. You are ashamed of your girlfriend.
Comments:
Consultant 1: only reflect the key points 1, distort and ignore the key points 2 and 3.
Counselor 2: It can correctly reflect the focus of the client's verbal and nonverbal behaviors, indicating that the counselor is very attentive to the client's expression (thoughts and feelings), falls in love with another woman, has no feelings for his girlfriend, continues to maintain the pain, and feels responsible for his girlfriend, so he can't break up.
Consultant 3: It completely distorts the focus of the customer's narrative.
Case 3
Scenario setting (1): Friends who haven't seen each other for a long time meet to talk about the recent situation.
A: How's it going?
B: Fine, just busy |!
A: Yes, I'm too busy.
B: I'm very tired recently and I have to take my children to work.
What are you doing? Your child has grown up, and now I'm ... alas, it's only three months, so tired! (Don't listen+deny)!
Well, I was just wondering if I should resign.
Why did you resign? Women have no job and no status. (Didn't listen to+suggestions)
Scene Settings (2)
Child: Mom, two students in our class were criticized by the teacher today because ...
Mom: The teacher's criticism is for your own good. Don't do that.
Imagine: What's unfair about this? You will be punished for talking in class!
Thinking:
Will you listen?
What is effective listening?
Child: Mom, today, two students in our class were criticized by the teacher for speaking in class, and they were also fined for running five times on the playground. I think it's unfair.
Mom: Well, mom heard what you said, so what do you think is better?
Child: I think a punishment is enough.
Mom: Well, can you think of another way?
Child: Mom, actually, I feel embarrassed to be criticized in public. There is no need to stand as a punishment.
Mom: Hmm (nodding and smiling to signal the child to continue)
Child: Well, the best way is for the teacher to remind you, just keep on lecturing.
Mom: Hmm (nodding and smiling to signal the child to continue)
Child: But the teacher reminded me several times, and both of them couldn't stop, so the teacher became angry.
Mom: Then what?
Child: The teacher is angry.
Mom: Oh, son.
Then what do you think of the problem of classmates talking in class? What would you do if you were punished by the teacher for running five laps?
Comments:
Form a sense of listening
Master the skills of listening
Get into the habit of listening
No matter what the mother asks, she is expressing her curiosity about the child, inviting the child to speak, so that the child can learn to think independently and solve problems in question and answer.
Nonverbal information in psychological counseling is often a bridge to the inner world of husband and wife. As consultants, we must try our best to observe people's nonverbal behavior.
Training iv
Language style training of consultants
Refers to the tone, intonation, expression characteristics and thoughts and feelings expressed by psychological counselors in the process of psychological counseling.
1. Training purpose: To know the characteristics of one's own tone and expression, to know the exact information expressed by one's various expressions while being familiar with the common tone and intonation, to avoid mistakes in tone and expression, and to express one's feelings with the help of consultation.
Training implementation: Language and expression are important ways of interpersonal communication, the content carrier of psychological consultation and treatment, and also an important tool for effective consultation and treatment |
Practice intonation to avoid language mistakes.
Watch industry tourism
Helper: 45-year-old female. Because I can't get along with my husband's ex-wife's daughter, I ask for help.
Helper: Although everyone says stepmother is difficult, I just don't believe it. I think as long as we have love and treat her as our own child, it should not be difficult for us to get along. I didn't think it was right. Whatever I do, I just can't please her. Even when she was ill, I helped her undress and still couldn't get her favor.
(2) Expression training to avoid expression errors.
Group members imitate the story told by the helper, and other members make four expressions of concern, understanding, appreciation and sympathy.
Case 1-4 omitted (following visitors)
Listen attentively.
Five levels of effective listening:
Listen with your ears to get information.
Listen and understand the words with your eyes.
Listen and understand body language with your body.
Listen attentively and understand the meaning of thoughts.
Listen with your brain and master all the expressions.
Listen attentively.
Growth thinking problem:
1. What effect does the counselor's listening response have on the consulting relationship? (Calm mood, safe and warm, positive and open)
Thinking: What does the psychological counselor's concentration and listening attitude bring to the help seekers?
2. In combination with yourself, under what circumstances are you unwilling or unwilling to listen? At this moment, what happened in our hearts?
Second, observe
Second, the observation technology
What do you think of "sense words and sense emotions"
Overall effect of information exchange
7% of the words
3 8% intonation
55% body vocabulary (non-verbal action group)
(1) facial expression? Eyes, mouth, eyebrows
Head.
(2) Body movements? Gestures, body posture,
Lower limb movement.
Counselors observe visitors, and visitors see counselors.
(3) Silence: it belongs to nonverbal behavior and is common in consultation.
1. type
(1) Creative Silence: "Gaze at a certain point in space"
Active waiting
(2) Spontaneous silence: I don't know what to say or have already expressed my thoughts, waiting for the response from the psychological counselor. "What are you thinking now? Can you tell me? " "Do you have anything to say? I am listening. "
Active breakthrough
(3) Conflict silence: Embarrassed, or don't know whether to say or how to say "I feel you are a little embarrassed. Can you tell me how you feel now?
* * * Emotional participation
Different types of silence, psychological counselors carefully identify, respond flexibly, face up to and face silence, and even make better use of silence, thus changing and improving the quality of consultation.
Comments:
The psychological barriers of help-seekers are closely related to the phenomenon of terror in schools. Counselors want to know the real reason why visitors can't go to school, which will activate the related strong negative emotional experience and hinder expression. Consultants should avoid impatience and wait patiently. The process of silence is the process that visitors deal with emotions, which is helpful to the progress of consultation. Silent company, silence concretizes the phenomenon of terror, and visitors finally overcome the strong negative emotions, and only after describing the scenes that make them horrible do they subconsciously realize it.
(4) Comprehensive phenomena:
(1) Through the impression of clothes, conversation, hairstyle, etc., one's views and opinions on a person as a whole.
(2) In psychological counseling, the information conveyed by nonverbal behavior is often a bridge to people's inner real world.
As consultants, we must try our best to observe people's nonverbal behavior.
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