1
Keep your eyes open in the mixed psychological market and identify orthodox psychological counseling, not success.
Distinguishing standards, one that allows you to grow internally and achieve balance in all aspects; The other makes you fly and pursue more distant fantasies.
We need to polish our eyes and screen.
Although psychological counseling emphasizes objectivity and neutrality. However, we should not fall into that mechanical and rigid robot mode.
For the establishment of the relationship between consultants and visitors, it is easy to fall into occupational diseases and lack flexibility and affinity, which is also very unfavorable and ridiculous.
2
trust
Based on the trust between people, we can get to know each other better.
Trust, that is, building relationships, plays a very important role in psychological counseling.
three
Understand; Understanding
As a consultant, in order to have a relatively effective consultation, have you got to know your visitors carefully?
(Portrait of users: tailor-made consultation for different visitors; Based on different users, tailor the most suitable advanced training program for him. )
In psychological counseling, we should pay great attention to understanding the background information of visitors, that is, collecting information. (Questionnaire, inquiry, careful observation)
In addition to discussing her life events, growth experience and even the influence of family background, we should first ask her if she has any physical diseases.
Aaron quoted Eriksson as saying: the process of understanding the history of a case is the process of treatment.
In the second consultation, you can learn about the visitors' diet and daily life during this period.
Aron said that asking about the specific life of visitors can not only get rich information, but also promote the establishment of relationships, because this kind of detailed inquiry about daily life can increase the sense of closeness.
In addition to the collection of background information, it is also important to understand the interpersonal relationship of visitors. (Mode of getting along, social support)
Psychological counseling is not an assembly line operation, but also needs to tailor the counseling plan for different visitors according to their situations. (Different people, different situations, different problems, different technologies)
Aaron emphasized that "technology is most effective only when it comes from different interactions between therapists and patients at any time."
four
Feedback and explanation
The acceptance, understanding and affection of counselors provide a good environment for visitors to feel safe and trust in the consulting room, and they are willing to put their emotions and themselves.
But this is not the most critical, "feedback" is the real scalpel, which can make consultation no longer superficial, but enter a deeper level of work. (Feedback, response)
"Window of johari" means that each of us has four parts.
If a person's blind spot is relatively large, then his life will be very narrow, and there will be many obstacles to social adaptability, just like a blind person walking, it will naturally not be so smooth. (self-care, narcissism, feeling good)
A lot of feedback from consultants is aimed at the blind spots of visitors, helping them gradually narrow the blind spots and enhance their ability to test reality. (stuck point, reason, root cause, feedback from others)
Effective feedback is based on a large number of solid theoretical foundations and clinical experience of consultants.
Psychological counselors should be careful what they say and do, and improper feedback may cause harm or other consequences to visitors.
It should be noted that although the psychological counselor saw the truth of the matter to the point, it should not be too hasty and direct to let the visitors slowly accept, see and understand (guide and enlighten) at the right time and at the right rhythm.
Give visitors time to show courage, acceptance and willingness to act, and then give feedback when they contact you. Don't push it all at once!
Therefore, before giving feedback in consultation, you must become an ally with the visitor. On the importance of relationship, only when two people's consultation alliance is established will visitors be willing to trust you and listen to your feedback. (Connect first and then correct)
Aaron was very wise, and he made a gentle invitation to his patients, neither invading nor shrinking. Under normal circumstances, tourists will not refuse such a sincere invitation.
The effectiveness of feedback-the appropriate time of feedback, the attitude of the consultant and the language content of feedback have a great relationship. At the same time, based on the relationship of consulting alliance, the rhythm of visitors and the status of visitors.
The attitude of consultation should be sincere. If you are an experienced consultant, you will know that our sincerity depends largely on our own cultivation (personal growth and healing).
Aaron said that it is necessary to avoid giving general feedback, but to make the feedback clear and focused.
For general questions raised by patients (such as do you like me? ), don't simply give a positive answer, but redefine this question and discuss ways to attract you to patients and ways to distance you, which will enhance the effectiveness of your answer.
The words of the experiencer made me feel that I could see the sun from the clouds. Many times, we sometimes fall into the diffuse fog, and the language of consultation is like a street lamp through the fog, which slowly helps us to see the problem clearly and find the direction. (Lighthouse, street lamp)
Every visitor is different, and with the accumulation of consulting experience, our feedback is also different.
explain
In the consultation of psychoanalysis school, special attention is paid to interpretation. The counselor will explain the visitor's defense, his empathy and his subconscious motives.
Aaron talked about this problem in a chapter in his book. He gave a very interesting topic called "Don't take explanations too seriously".
Interpretation often does not represent facts, but is based on professional analysis. There may be many explanations for the same event, and they only represent part of the possibility. Is not necessarily the only answer.
Freud, a psychoanalyst at that time, would smoke a "cigar of victory" as a celebration of every insightful feedback and explanation, while Aron was more concerned with the process of knitting together between two people in a consulting relationship.
As a consultant, what do you think of this?
five
Technology here and now
Visitors will unconsciously apply the mode of communication with people in daily life to the process of communication with consultants.
Therefore, counselors should always know the facts and give feedback to stimulate visitors to be more inspired.
After the consultation, the consultant can also review and review today's cases through the here and now.
six
How to promote the progress of consultation?
How can we make progress in the negotiation? It is a process that allows visitors to vent their feelings, loosen their solidified ideas, accept themselves and let students learn to be responsible for themselves.
As far as feelings are concerned, both sides have a "sense of movement" to advance or deepen in the negotiation.
If you always feel "stuck", or if the consultation is always spinning in the same place and you can't talk about a topic, it must be blocked.
There are many reasons that hinder the progress of consulting. From a big perspective, it may be the lack of technical level and personality status of consultants; Visitors' motivation to seek help is weak; The relationship between consultation and interview is not matched enough, and the trust is not enough; The supervisory growth system of consultants is poor; The weakness of the visitor support system and so on may affect the effect.
Freud believed that therapists should be like a whiteboard without their own things, so that visitors' things can be projected onto their psychological screens. blank screen
Aaron cried out affectionately in the book and said, forget the blank screen, it's more real! If there are too many black screens, it is like wearing a consultant's mask. )
Let the tourists take responsibility for themselves. The ultimate goal of our reception of visitors must be to give them the strength to leave us and make them have the responsibility to return to normal life and adapt to society.
Psychological counseling is similar to physical exercise, and the persistence of counseling is an important part of promoting progress, just as persistent exercise can make you have a good figure, so systematic counseling can accumulate a more perfect personality state.
seven
Explore the existence of life
In fact, he may be the root of many problems.
Many people may be like me when I was a child. They like to squat on the side of the road and watch a group of ants busy. In fact, in the vast universe, human beings are as small as an ant, and they also run around all day.
I don't know if one of the ants I saw when I was a child will suddenly stop and think about who I am and why I don't stop running.
But I know we humans will have it, and we will think, who am I? Where is the land I come from? Where are you going? What is the meaning of existence?
Our four ultimate anxieties include: death, freedom, loneliness and meaninglessness.
die
Only by learning to face death bravely can we live more soberly. Epitaph, death meditation.
Depressed people are the kindest and bravest people. Kindness lies in that they always take care of others and don't attack outside, so they have to attack themselves for depression. Courage lies in that they may have the feeling and experience of facing and approaching death more than many people.
freedom
Because oneself, not external force, is an active choice. Decide according to your own wishes and be responsible for your actions.
Choosing one side means that tourists will lose the rights and interests of the other side. Therefore, at any time, consultants should not help visitors make decisions. Because that would deprive them of their right to freedom.
We should return the freedom of choice and decision to tourists.
However, the consultant should not enforce it rigidly, but have some art and wisdom to let the visitor know that you care about him and pay attention to his results and progress.
lonely
Building a relationship with others lies in the relationship between people, which can dispel this loneliness.
Even if there is no suitable person, you can stay with your inner children, accompany each other, encourage each other and grow up together.
Another is the same frequency, let others know that you are with him, we all have certain characteristics, and he will feel that he is not alone.
Explore the meaning of life.
You can discuss it with the visitors. If you write something on the epitaph, what do you think it will be?
In the end, all the meanings of life will be attributed to altruism, enjoyment, dedication, creation and self-realization.
eight
dream
Aaron spent several chapters explaining dreams, because dreams are very important in psychological counseling.
I think in daily life, in the relationship between people, dreams also have a bond and generate trust.
Dreams are erratic, hidden and very hidden.
The emotion in the visitor's dream may be the embodiment of the emotion in the consultation process. Such as fear, anxiety and worry.
Pay special attention to the visitor's first dream.
You can realize your dreams through free association and positive imagination. You can also ask what happened on the first day.
Aaron often asks patients to close their eyes and turn the face in their dreams into any face. In this way, they learned about many people who disappeared in patients' lives.
Of course, the consultant had better explain his dream first.
No dream can be completely explained.