Because of the current situation, my family moved to XXX temporarily. Embroidery lives downstairs in the villa opposite the Zhang family.
Xiu Xiu is eleven and I am thirteen. At first, we felt uncomfortable with each other. When we met, we both
Have red face, ready to avoid each other. But every time I always look at each other at the same time and pay attention to each other.
There is an attraction that makes it difficult for you to escape immediately. So one afternoon, we
They stood in front of Zhangjialou, not far apart, and watched many people exchange old clothes and shoes for bowls.
Embroidery is smart enough to squeeze through the crowd shyly and point to a pair of beautiful small magnetic bowls for me to see.
Tell me in a secret and intimate voice that she wants to go home and exchange a pair of old shoes. I looked at her excitedly.
When I got home, my heart was full of happy expectations. In less than a few minutes, I was both admired and gratified.
Yue went to see a play, in which Embroidery made a deal with a bowl-changing businessman and became Embroidery's good friends.
That little photo is still hanging gently on my chest. After all these years, I can still see.
Embroidered with two braids and tied with red velvet rope, his eyes are bright and his mouth is closed, and he jumps over while walking.
One is carrying a pair of old shoes. The merchant selling porcelain has a cigarette in his mouth, like a
The tall shadow is shrouded in the burden of two clusters of porcelain with different colors, and it is as beautiful as a cloud! Some curiosity
People are sticking their heads out to look. "Who wants such small children's shoes?" The tough tone of the dealer is made up of
Exhale from the oblique angle of the tube.
"This is a pair of leather shoes, or new!" Xiuxiu looked at the old leather shoes in her hand lovingly. Those shoes
Undoubtedly, I once gave embroidery a lot of dignity to be proud of. There are two buckles on the vamp. Bowl changer
Finally, I was persuaded by embroidery. I picked the cigarette from my mouth and buckled it on the gray cloth belt. I picked up my shoes and studied them carefully.
Embroidery knows that this opportunity should not be missed. It will soon hold two small flower bowls that I have longed for many times.
Give it to her. But the hand of the talon-like trafficker has already reached over again, making the embroidered hand as beautiful as a dream.
Two small bowls full are still closed. Embroidered embroidery has nothing to say, blushing face upturned, eyes moist and lost.
Look at the light.
I heard many jeers behind me, and felt the isolated situation of embroidery and some insults around her.
Humiliating oppression, unconsciously played an injustice. "You can't bully her!" I heard my own voice.
Under the threat of smugglers, the wind sounded. "Can change it. If you can't change it, return the shoes to her! " "Human traffickers?
I am reasonable and don't care about embroidery. I'm busy trading with others, and he still has the little leather shoes.
"Change it, Lao Li, change it, people have children." A nice guy suddenly appeared in the crowd.
Make a smile and a kind voice. In order to "rank according to seniority", he once again picked up two small bowls in his burden and handed them to him.
Xiu Xiu said to me, "Well, you two children take these two bowls and go!" "I was surprised to receive a letter.
Bowl, at a loss. Embroidery belongs to embroidery, but my affectionate little face tugged at my sleeve and waved to me with a happy smile.
Crowd out with her. The old man may not know that he stuffed more than two into our hands at that time.
A bowl and delicious friendship.
Since then, our contacts have become closer and closer every day. In the morning, I accompanied Ah Xiu to Lu Xiao in the west street.
Buy some odds and ends. Embroidery is a task. What she bought in the shop was oil, salt, sauce and vinegar. Her mother
On the day my mother cooked the necessities, I saw her asking for the goods in the store very well.
I always admire her ability and envy her secretly when paying money or changing coins to hang tickets.
Experience. What surprised me most was the impression her mother gave me. Yellow and thin, that mother is a coward.
A weak woman seems to have a bad temper because of illness. She directs all kinds of things.
Embroidery does embroidery, but all the time mutters to herself and teaches her children.
At first, I thought Embroidery had no father, but I soon learned that Embroidery's father was a very rich man.
Things. His surname is Xu, and people call him Uncle Xu. Like many fathers at that time, he had other family members living in another house.
Location. Xiuxiu and her mother and daughter lived in two small rooms downstairs of this relative for a long time. It's good.
Like a forgotten widow. Xiu Xiu told me that she had been to her father's house, and that was her new aunt.
Before giving birth, her mother asked her to ask her father for some money. Embroidered red face, bowed his head when he said this.
Going on, I am entangled in all kinds of shame and grievances. I dare not speak, and I forgot my embroidery.
Unpleasantly, she looked up and told me that her father had a great marine dog at home. "Dad!"
Tell it to sit down and it will sit down. There is also a foreign clock. Embroidery can't forget the door on it.
Embroidered embroidered eyes lit up, "when the time comes, the door will open and a bird will jump out from it. When is it called? "
A few times. ""that's-that's what dad bought for my aunt. " Xiu Xiu secretly told me again.
"I remember one time my dad hugged me," said Xiu Xiu, who often told me about the past.
Love. "At that time, I was young and not sensible, so I wanted to go to the fields. I think my father must be very
Unhappy! "Embroidery embroidery regret to uncomfortable, regret the lost.
A little fatherly love. "At that time, you were still young and not sensible." I comforted her. "but ..
That visit to my dad's house made him unhappy again! "Embroidered embroidered heart on this matter, it is very possible.
More than once, I thought sadly, "When I left that day," she added, "Dad.
I opened the drawer and asked my aunt if there was anything good to play with. I don't think my aunt promised, for fear that she would be unhappy.
Said, I don't want anything, dad was very angry, closed the drawer and said, forget it! "——
Embroidery was crisp voice here obviously a bit dumb, "when I want to talk again, my father has got up and handed it to my mother.
Give me the money and say, you tell her to see a doctor and take medicine if she is sick, and I don't want to die tomorrow.
Tube! "Embroidery told me sadly this time, sitting in our backyard and sobbing gently.
Play on the threshold, walk home slowly, until it gets dark, and the back disappears in the gray downstairs of the Zhang family.
It's hot in summer, so we often treat Xiu Xiu to soda, lotus root and watermelon. Mom made me too short.
Bought a flower shirt for Xiu Xiu to wear. She played very lively in our house, helping everyone pick vegetables and make bean jelly.
Peel fruit to make sweet sauce, and listen to teacher Guo Wen telling books and stories. Her mother always sits at her window,
He shook a cattail leaf fan and shouted warily from time to time: "Embroidery! Embroidery! " She complained that she didn't.
If she goes home, "... like her father, she can't sit still at home! ”"
One day, it was getting dark. Xiu Xiu said he had a stomachache and hurried home. It's time for dinner.
At that time, Zhang's mother came to our kitchen and said that Xiu Xiu's child was very ill, and her mother wouldn't call a doctor.
I was so anxious that I sat in front of the bed and cried. Hearing this, the family asked Mrs. Chen to look at the embroidery and brought a dose.
First aid powder. I secretly followed Mrs. Chen to the embroidery room to see her. I saw my little friend.
Pale and groaning, lying on the wooden bed, the house is obvious in the sultry summer and in the dim light at night.
It's messy. Huang's mother knocked on the bed with her hands crossed and cried from time to time.
Nothing suitable will be prepared for children except embroidery. The big mosquito bit the child.
Legs and arms are the same, and large particles of sweat flow from the child's forehead to the hair. The old minister turned around in panic,
Clapping Embroidery's back, he asked Xu Da's mother, Embroidery's mother, for boiled water and a medicine pot to decoct medicine. I steal.
A chance to sneak into the embroidered bed and call her. Embroidered son heard the sound and barely opened her eyes to see what I had done.
Smiling, she laboriously whispered, "The mosquito-repellent incense ... is in the corner ... Please light one ..." She obviously learned.
Accustomed to mother's uselessness
"People are still clear!" Old horse minister feels at ease to boil medicine. Speaking of which, Mrs. Xu muttered, "I told you.
Drink less soda! Fruit is not good either. We didn't eat that. We don't listen. It was a trick.
Woe to you! .. You this little friend is finished, I this desperate efforts also don't .. "Embroidery embroidery in the middle obviously groaned.
Still crying and arguing. "Where are those, mom? This morning, I was thirsty and drank a lot of spring water. "
Someone at home pulled me back. I remember not sleeping well that night, thinking about embroidery and planting.
A terrible dream. Xiu Xiu has been ill for almost a month, and he still doesn't know what it is.
They invited two different doctors and bought a lot of miscellaneous medicines each time. Her mother gives her porridge every day. formal
Without medicine, nutrition is zero.
Because of Xiu Xiu's illness, her mother blamed us, so no one dared to give her food when she was ill.
When she was recovering, I only sent out some children's pictorial and other things to play with her every day.
After illness, Xiu Xiu's flexible face lost all its colors, and became more strange and gentle, almost super.
Dust-free beauty is like a child god in a picture, and the voice is very fragile and beautiful, which makes people uncomfortable.
Can you not feel pity? But in the future, I often think of God's merciless mercy, putting such a beautiful and sensitive, can.
A beloved child is abused in such an environment, and a child whose parents are dead is so lonely.
Suffering makes her more dependent than losing her parents. Of course, apart from giving her a little childhood friendship myself,
Apart from being a short-term playmate, there is no other ability to help children fight against fate.
During her illness, her father visited them and stayed there for a short time. but
Because he couldn't stand Xiuniang's complaint, he angrily and cruelly turned their mother and daughter against each other.
Reprimand, lecture or abuse. In a rage, he left a little money and left by himself.
Announce that I will never come to see them again.
I know Xiu Xiu privately hopes that her father will visit them, and it is her child every time.
The child is incomplete outside. This made her very painful. This time she couldn't bear it any longer. She complained boldly.
Thinking of her mother, "mom, it's all because of your noise, so dad left angrily and won't come again tomorrow!" " "
In fact, Xiuxiu is also complaining about her father. She once told me gently, "Dad.
Dad is so cruel. Although mother has a temper, she is really bitter. She is ill. You know she had a baby.
Of the six children, I am the only woman left. Once upon a time, she often cried her dead child alone at night.
Japan and China always do their own things, which is very different from now; Good temper, too "But embroidery although speak.
After I-her friend-her mood and sympathy for her mother, Grandma Xu only heard embroidery.
I complained that she was angry at the moment, so I used the topic to exaggerate my grievances and cried to my daughter.
Make noise, abuse.
That day, some people in the Zhang family listened too much and went in to interfere, which moved Grandma Xu even more.
Shasta Leah's temper is just sitting on the ground with anger, biting her teeth and beating her chest, crying like crazy.
By the time I got the news and went to see them, Xiu Xiu had cried till his eyes were red and swollen, and he was curled up in a corner of the bed.
The room wriggled like a poor lost child. Some neighbors were curious and went in to have a look.
I heard people talking about them and said, "Uncle Xu gave birth to a boy two months ago. It was given to the children that day.
There are several tables and seats at the full moon. Grandma Xu was so angry that she didn't eat a good meal for several days. Today, grandpa came again.
She said that she was embroidered with embroidery, which was even more annoying. I can't wait to work with that new person! It happened that embroidery is also embroidery.
Protect dad, blame mom. Do you think she is crazy and take it out on her children? "I also listened to it.
Seeing that some people are unfair to embroidery, some people say, "It's all karma. Embroidery should be his turn in his last life. "
What are you? Poor thing, so young, so close all day. Do you think she won't die of this disease?
Shouldn't it be that they haven't paid off anything? ! "
The environment of embroidery is getting worse every day, and it really seems that there are bad debts. Her mother is more violent than before.
It grew rapidly, although she did not effectively maintain embroidery's condition because she was worried about her daughter's health.
However, disturbing facts have increased her symptoms of weakness and palpitation, making her an easily stimulated woman. for
At the slightest thing, she will angrily scold embroidery. A few times, I just hit the child unreasonably. Loushangzhang
Family members are very annoyed and often interfere, causing many unpleasant quarrels, which makes peaceful embroidery more important.
How inconvenient and difficult it is.
I don't think I'm superstitious anymore, but people say that embroidery seems to pay off debts, but it's just a deep imprint.
In my mind, it reminds me again and again, and it doesn't let me get rid of the theory of samsara implied there.
Children in The Journey to the West saw Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio, and there were many absurd things in their minds.
Fantasy and unintentional superstition will naturally have a considerable impact after listening to it. Shortly thereafter
Later, I secretly talked to Xiuxiu about the magical power of Guanyin Bodhisattva. The two men carried people behind their backs to track the willow branches Guanyin statue caught in the middle.
In the book, I often do some funny westward journeys in the backyard, or burn some mosquitoes at home.
That's great. I also secretly taught embroidery to recite "Amitabha, Guanyin Bodhisattva" and told her.
Tell her that it can alleviate the sudden disaster. Sick, thin, white and gentle, cute and cute, so really often.
I often drop my eyes naively, let my long eyelashes cover my face beautifully, close my little hands and whisper devoutly.
Nan prayed to Guanyin for some children's extravagant hopes, which is said to save suffering.
"But, little sister, what about Jesus?" One day she suddenly felt the God she trusted.
This question is a bit strange. We all went to missionary schools-our education was the same.
Many children are as contradictory as before.
"Yes, and Jesus!" I was stupefied and couldn't give her a reasonable answer. God himself appeared.
This question, the gods have their own justice and compassion, and so on, will be shaken. But a vagrant can't live with his parents.
Lonely children obviously need to convert to master, so as far as I know, Guanyin and Jesus unexpectedly came later.
At the same time, I was solemnly saluted by her in my embroidered heart!
As the days passed, the weather became colder and colder, and embroidery was instructed to pick in a nearby shop.
Doing miscellaneous things, the thin figure is swaying in the cool breeze in the early morning, without the excitement of early summer. Seeing people is always
I'm too embarrassed to say anything, but I don't often come to our place to play except to come out with me.
Suddenly one morning, a strange and nervous voice came from the downstairs of the Zhang family. Grandma Xu was crying.
The shrill voice cursed, complained and gasped angrily, and this shrill voice was accompanied by a heavy and angry man.
Accent. It's obviously serious I flew to find embroidery when I was a child. Parked in front of Zhangjialou.
An exquisite family car, the door of Mrs. Xu's room is open, and all the servants and cooks upstairs in the Zhang family,
The handyman, with his mother, walked back and forth in the corridor, listening curiously to the excitement. There is more order in the house than usual.
Disorder, just bought meat standing on the lotus leaf, a handful of vegetables like a handful of grass, on the edge of the table.
Give off a unique smell next to the kitchen or in the food market. A bunch of bowls and chopsticks, used and unused, are all in the same water.
It's next to the pool. The monthly card of the beauty brand cigarette on the wall has been hung askew. The strangest thing is,
Cigar smoke never seen in that house. Uncle Xu is sitting on the wooden bed in the east. Lock your eyebrows,
With a scowl on her face and a cigarette in her mouth, she pretended to smoke calmly. Grandma Xu is accompanied by an old woman in the neighborhood.
An old spinster with little feet was lying on an old cane chair, crying intermittently.
When I came in, Xiu Xiu was holding Mrs. Zhang's hand upstairs and saw me with my head down.
Tears welled up obviously, and I wiped my swollen eyelids with the back of my hand.
Grandma Xu complains loudly when she sees people coming in. She said to Mrs. Zhang upstairs, "Third Grandma,
Listen to our uncle's unreasonable troubles! .. I have such a half life that I can't let it go for no reason.
They were killed! After more than 20 years, I'm being kicked out like this? People must have one.
God bless! .. I came to his house when I was seventeen, and my in-laws got through it without suffering ... "
Mrs. Zhang looked at Uncle Xu, and Xiuer looked at her father with wide eyes. Grandpa just smoked first.
Serious and indifferent silence. Then he suddenly stood up, pointed to the embroidered face and made a tough one angrily.
The gesture said, "I tell you, don't talk so much nonsense. You have to leave those at home today anyway."
Give me back the title deed .. This is outrageous! Ridiculous! The field origin of the ancient family
You are also in charge of the contract. What a nice conversation! "
Both husband and wife then have many refutations; Grandma complained that her husband abandoned her and deducted her money, no
Despite the old love, she has another love, regardless of her life with her children and wasting it with that woman outside. Grandpa said
His wife, ignorant and incapable of being a man, can't improve, so she has to mention that remarriage can be docile.
His woman leads a different life, and he refuses to admit that he abused his grandmother. When it comes to title deeds, the two men hold their own words.
Because of the dispute, one said that it should be the basis for her pension, and the other said that her ancestral property could not be determined.
She makes decisions. By lunchtime, grandpa's attitude was getting tougher and tougher, but grandma was panting.
From crazy crying to helpless sobbing. Others gradually quit.
Until I was urged by my family to go back for dinner, Xiuxiu sat in the corner in silence.
Hopeless with two parents who hate each other, listening to a few sober and fair words from Mrs. Zhang upstairs,
Especially about embroidering your own place. The point that Mrs. Zhang said is that the couple should look at the embroidered faces.
Don't be too stubborn. She said that "the child has been very ill recently" and added that "grandma wants to stay.
One thing is also thinking about the future. A girl will get married when she grows up. You should prepare for her.
Point. "She added," I think Xiuxiu is very clever. She won't go to school next season. She should be sent to cram school in spring.
Order books. "She suggested to her uncle," I think my uncle will raise some tuition fees for embroidery every month in the future. This year,
Girls can't stay away from school and do housework at home. "
The good words of these middlemen reached the ears of the angry two people, which seemed to be more exciting.
Grandma just sneered: "People have sons, but they still care about their daughters!" Grandpa said:
"I give her tuition, and her stingy mother doesn't necessarily send her to school?" Grandma felt more wronged.
Waste, "I don't let her read? Didn't you say yourself: girls don't have to read so many books? "
In any case, both of them are stubborn and eager to vent their hatred for each other.
I have no intention to use reason to find a solution to my dispute, let alone care about everything about embroidery.
At that time, I hated embroidered parents very much, and I couldn't wait to reason with them and put out everything I saw.
Tell them everything, wake them up, and even make them repent, but it's always because of themselves.
They are too young, the situation is too severe, unable to bear, and cowardly to suppress. But when I bite,
When I hated them with tooth poison, I happened to look back and see my little friend sitting there with helpless eyes.
Staring at one side aimlessly, I suddenly have a very strange feeling. I realized that at this moment, in my opinion,
There is no doubt that these two hateful people are gentle and peaceful parents. I know very well that even if
Embroidery also hates them a little at the moment, but the knot is in Embroidery's heart, which is still true for these two people.
That incredible love!
I went home for dinner in dismay. After dinner, I couldn't wait for everyone to disperse, so I slipped back to the Zhangjia downstairs.
This time, to my surprise, there was silence in front of the embroidery room. It's windy outside, with leaves and dust
Roll to the aisle, I gently pushed the door and went in. I was so surprised at the situation in the room that I almost lost my voice.
Shout out that everything that was just put on the wooden shelf on the table was smashed together and scattered on the ground.
Now, grandparents are obviously absent, and there is neither sobbing nor heavy anger in the room.
The voice of reprimand, only pale embroidery, holding broken desire, infinite sadness, sitting next to her mother.
Son, this way. The smell of cigars still hangs over this sad and funny painting.
"Xiuer, what's the matter?" Embroidered red eyes, barely adjusted the choked voice.
"Mom didn't give that-that deed. Dad threw things when he was angry, and then ... they were going to fight.
As soon as the aunt next door persuaded him, my father left angrily .. My mother asked them to take them upstairs to see Third Grandma. "
Little feet mother began to clean up the debris on the ground with a broom.
Suddenly, in a mess, I saw some broken porcelain flowers, and I hurried to embroider two people.
Bend over and test together.
"Embroidery!" I cried, "aren't these your two small magnetic bowls?" Also .. let your dad blow it? "
Embroidery nodded with tears, but did not agree, such as two clusters of flowers, the burden of porcelain and the scenery in early summer.
In order to float across my heart again, I hold the embroidered hand and keep silent. The autumn wind outside shook the broken hundred in front of the building.
In the leaf window, they watched the little maid put the beautiful remains and other pieces of the teapot bowl together.
Tea leftovers are put together in an old dustpan and buried in the dust.
Many disputes in this world have puzzled our children's hearts-the eleventh year of embroidery, I was thirteen.
Finally, that winter, the confusion of embroidery ended on a snowy morning. Zhangjialoufang
The river behind him was covered with thin ice, and the midday sun shone pale on the floor through layers of fog.
In the face, embroidery embroidery has no need to shrink its neck, along that road, facing the cold wind to go there! Inadvertently, she
But I left her confusion in my heart, wandering in front of Zhangjialou and between shops until today.
26, 3, 20
(Originally published in Ta Kung Pao Literary Supplement in April 1937)
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