It is not within the boundaries of right and wrong.
I will wait for you there.
When the soul lies on the green grass,
The richness of the world,
Words are far beyond description.
Ideas, words, even statements like "you and me",
Has become meaningless.
This article continues to talk about my relationship with "me". The original title was Embrace Your Opposite, but I changed it to Me and My Shadow, which means that there is always a shadow on the sunny side. If a person has no sunshine, there is no shadow.
Let's start with the conclusion: if the A side reaches the extreme value, the -A side will also reach the extreme value. It is a truth that A and -A coexist in one person. People's thinking is easy to solidify something and judge whether it is good or bad. We want the good, but we should stay away from the bad. But the more we hold this binary "good or bad view", it means that the more our hearts and human nature are divided, so there will be such a situation: we consciously strive for A, but our subconscious mind is always attracted by-A.
Reminds me of a popular saying that loneliness is a carnival for one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. Let me talk about my feelings first. I think my personality is actually extroverted, but I really can't stand the environment of discos. I have never understood that some people are particularly good at chatting and dealing with strangers. In such a noisy environment, they can't hear clearly and no one can see who they are. Hundreds of square meters of houses, they want to send WeChat to find someone. I wonder what a group of people are doing there. Later, when I saw this sentence, I understood that the environment was just a carnival for a group of lonely people. All my voices were muffled, I was drowned in the crowd, and I did whatever I wanted. I went from one real world to another. Isn't this the world I've been looking for, my own world?
Let's give another example of a star. Although Cui Yongyuan has a trademark faint smile on his face, he is a depressed patient. He once said that he was "smile depression". What a solid contradiction Cui Yongyuan is.
Because -A is always hidden in the depths of the subconscious, it is difficult to be seen. If a person can't see his -A at all, then he will find someone who obviously shows the characteristics of -A, and establish contact with the quality of -A by being with this person.
The following may subvert people's usual ideas. Modesty is not as good as you think. Teacher Zeng Qifeng, a domestic psychoanalyst, said: In fact, humility can make people obscene. The more modest, the more obscene. Modesty in the bones is meanness in the bones. Because humility is not human nature, arrogance, pride and narcissism are. If the narcissism in our bones has not changed, but we try our best to be modest, then modesty is only superficial, conscious and even false, while the narcissism in our bones and nature is still full. But this full narcissism is regarded as "bad" by us, so it can't be expressed publicly. Once expressed, I feel that I have presented a bad trait. At this time, we have a feeling of fear, guilt and furtiveness, so it is mixed into a wretched feeling.
Finally, talk about people's motivation. Wu Zhihong believes that narcissism, sexuality and aggression are the three driving forces of human beings. -a is often these three motives. We oppose arrogance, avoid talking about sex, and emphasize restraint of anger. I think this is a terrible thing.
If these three driving forces are vitality, then the -A we oppose is not vitality itself. The farther away from narcissism, sex and aggression, the less angry people are. On the contrary, people who can directly show these three energies are easy to cause controversy, but they are easy to have various manifestations of vitality such as enthusiasm, creativity and charm.
Here I want to mention a writer, Yu Hua. Personally, I like this writer very much, because he can always write the feelings of the characters in his novels very vividly. He has a novel Brothers, in which there are two protagonists, my brother Song Gang and my brother Li Guangtou. Song Gang is an A and Li Guangtou is -A, so I won't go into details. Interested friends can read this book.
I just briefly introduce two characters here:
Li Guangtou: Li Guangtou's father is a disgraceful hooligan. In a sense, Li Guangtou himself is also a "rogue"-when he was a child, he was a hooligan who peeked at a woman's ass and told pornographic stories. When I grow up, I am a big rascal, a profiteer, running around and having sex with men and women for a few dollars. He tried his best to make use of his little resources and intelligence. In an era when things are scarce, he tried his best to pull his mother to the grave with a special scooter, which made her feel extremely proud and moved. After the failure of his first career, he was not discouraged, and he willingly lived in the wild, still proudly pioneering industries that others did not want to set foot in. ?
? Song Gang: Song Gang is an image of a nice guy in the novel. He is kind to his parents, his brother and his wife, and completely altruistic. Won the love of Lin Hong, the most beautiful girl in the city. He was kind and upright, but he didn't get a good reward, and finally he came to a tragic end. After her mother's death, Song Gang obeyed her mother's wishes, took care of Li Guangtou meticulously, cooked and knitted sweaters for Li Guangtou, and left home to do business to support his family. She was tired all her life. However, on his deathbed, he had to take off his glasses so as not to break them, and put on a mask so as not to spread his lung disease to others. Song Gang is so introverted that he has always been regarded as the shadow of others. Finally, he found his wife, Lin Hong, with his younger brother, Li Guang. The desperate Song Gang finally committed suicide by lying on the track.
Ah ... I found something wrong with the route. I don't want everyone to love money, be arrogant and play hooligans ... I mean, everyone is a synthetic version of Song Gang and Li Guangtou, so we should completely embrace ourselves.