Probe a look, bottomless.
I can't see the change of seasons in the cave.
Can't feel the warmth of the sun
Until one day, I fell down and lost consciousness.
The story of the elephant and the white rabbit
The little white rabbit and his father have been quarrelling for many days.
Dad often brings home the negative emotions caused by orangutans, because the boss of orangutans has a particularly bad temper and takes it out on the white rabbit.
When she doesn't get 90% in the exam, her father will scold her: how careless she is, even writing such a simple topic wrong.
The little white rabbit is very sad. She wants to talk to her good friend Hedgehog, but Hedgehog has been preparing for the exam, and she is not easy to disturb. The only person who can talk around is Brother Elephant.
Brother elephant often sends her favorite cakes to the little white rabbit and takes her around in a battery car. Even the first beer in my life was drunk with Brother Xiang.
Brother elephant is the sun when the white rabbit is most confused.
For a while, Brother Elephant disappeared. The little white rabbit has been looking for him.
One day, I happened to meet Brother Elephant at the door, but his attitude towards the white rabbit became cold and he seldom took her to buy delicious cakes.
The closer you get, the more terrible you are.
There is a feeling that looks ordinary on the surface, but unconsciously absorbs your energy. This repeated consumption is not easy to detect at all, but it leaves a long and fatal wound on the victim.
The story of the White Rabbit and Bill Bear tells us that Bill Bear was infatuated with the White Rabbit at first, but after getting along for some time, he began to avoid the White Rabbit for some reason, and even felt that the White Rabbit was not as good as before.
You can obviously feel the huge gap in getting along for a period of time, and even find that this relationship has reduced you from an independent and excellent self to a person who has lost self and dignity, so please be alert, the closest person around you may be that terrible emotional vampire.
The lie of the savior
These emotional vampires often play the role of savior in life.
Psychologist Dr. Schmidt, in the book "45 Classic Character Prototypes", analyzed many characters in the script from the psychological point of view. This analysis also talks about the savior.
Rescuers are like nurturers, women's friends or rescuers. Once they go beyond their realistic cognition, they are likely to have the so-called savior complex.
This kind of complex will give people a strong feeling that I am a hero, and he will dream of saving everyone and then satisfy his ambition.
There is a control between the rescuer and the victim that is different from that of the oppressor, but this control also prevents the victim from making his own voice. They are not respected under the protection of the savior, but they are only vassals of the savior.
Are you an emotional vampire?
If you have the following characteristics, you are probably an emotional vampire.
My needs are more important than others'.
You always care more about your own needs, and you always turn a blind eye to each other's needs.
If I can't do whatever I want, I will lose my temper.
Such a person is not looking for a partner, he is looking for someone to replace his parents, and then asks the other party to tolerate him unconditionally. In such a relationship, the relationship between the two will inevitably get out of control.
You must abide by my rules.
Just like: don't talk while eating, don't smoke before going to bed, you must listen to what I say. This kind of person may be extremely inferior, so he needs to conquer you to satisfy his inner unfulfilled desires.
◆ Good at communication.
Emotional vampires are particularly good at socializing and get attention through socializing. When you are sad and want to talk, I can always be by your side.
I want sunshine, I want positive energy.
I don't want it! I don't want it! You can't beat me, I want positive energy.
If you can't end your relationship with an emotional vampire and don't want to be influenced by him all the time, Han Min, a consultant at Tianjin Sheng 'an Mi Yue Psychological Counseling Center, tells you that there are three effective ways to try:
◆ When communicating with the other party, pay attention to the result, not the process.
Some vampires are good at blurring your vision through words, so you must set a goal before communicating. It can't be wrong.
Stand one's ground
When he talks to you as a victim, he asks you to spend a lot of time and energy on companionship and comfort, but these demands have disrupted your personal arrangement. You should resolutely refuse and put forward some restrictions, which can be time or space. It's hard to refuse a person. You need to constantly remind yourself to stand your ground and not be influenced by others.
◆ Give yourself space
You can go out for tea, chat with friends and relax.
Some people say that when you are in love, it is nothing to be angry with each other for flirting. I think it's fun to quarrel occasionally. If you are like an emotional vampire, it is wrong to always induce the negative energy of the other person to satisfy yourself-this is not love.
In hot summer, silver, white porcelain bowls, sour plum soup, ice floes and bowls-such a comfortable fantasy should be the true appearance of love.
Emotional vampire routine, you know?
(Note: The pictures in this article are from the Internet)