Student: Zhou Meiling.
From the nature reading club
30 19.8.29
First, reading summary
Only when you can solve practical problems for yourself, especially efficient EQ is considered as high EQ.
Second, golden sentences/quotations
1, in making friends, cost awareness is essential.
2, can not use tactical diligence to cover up strategic laziness.
3. Only those who know how to treat social interaction with cost thinking can be considered as high EQ.
4. Life algorithm is a basic routine that you keep repeating in the face of the world, which improves the probability of achieving your goals.
People used to say that the essence of competition is the big fish eat small fish, but now it's the time when the fast fish eat the slow fish.
6, regardless of the return, regardless of the cost of help, in fact, is crushing each other's dignity, you may do bad things with good intentions, cleverly accept each other's feedback, your help can help you win contacts.
7. Really high emotional intelligence is to dare to compliment others blatantly.
8. It is a sign of integrity to criticize others bluntly, but kind praise to others is also essential in the world.
9. Flattery for personal dark self-interest can only be contemptible cleverness, but seeing the advantages of others and being able to praise others publicly is the performance of being broad-minded and able to achieve great things.
10, the art of criticism is to achieve one's own goals without hurting the other party.
Third, think about the problem
Q 1: Please recall the scene of your chat. Have you ever talked about rollover? How do you make small talk go on happily?
A: I have had the experience of chatting and overturning.
In May this year, my husband and I went to a colleague's full moon wine. After dinner, we started chatting, chatting, chatting. Did the husband let the children buy insurance? Unexpectedly, the lively scene was quiet in an instant. Without the following, my colleague was quite embarrassed to hold the child and didn't say whether to buy it or not.
I stayed about half a minute. I immediately said that my husband is a senior account manager of Ping An. If you need to buy insurance for your child, you can directly consult him and add a WeChat. Then he shifted the topic to children, saying that children are afraid of heat in summer. What should they pay attention to?
In this way, my husband and colleagues added a WeChat, and the insurance business did not continue to talk. We chatted casually and left.
Summary: If you want to chat smoothly and happily, you need to pay attention to two points. First, don't mention topics that the other party doesn't like or want to hear, or topics that require the other party to pay the cost. The second is to cater to each other's likes and find topics directly related to each other.
Q2: Using the ecstasy principle, please prepare and tell a brand story related to yourself;
A: My story is Color Change Life.
I am a color worker, engaged in soft-fitting work, mainly dealing with owners who decorate houses. Ten years' working time has witnessed that the quality of life of countless owners is reflected by the color of decoration.
There are five ways for us to absorb external information, namely vision, hearing, touch, smell and taste, of which vision accounts for 87%, which means that feelings are conveyed through looks, while color accounts for 65% in vision, so the texture of clothes and house decoration will be reflected through colors.
Let me take a client I just received this month as an example. This is a school district house with an area of 150 square meters. There are three people living there, a young couple in their forties and their teenage daughter. I remember when I first entered their house, I thought it was a house I had not lived in for a long time. It was dark and cold, and there was a faint musty smell, which made me not want to stay for a moment.
The room is on 15 floor, with four bedrooms and two halls, and the big window is more than 4m. Why does it feel like the ground floor wrapped in a big tree? After careful observation, I found that the living room, bedroom and study were all filled with books. The man is a university professor and the woman is a university teacher. The daughter has just finished the college entrance examination, and the family has been studying all day, and their temper is getting worse and worse. In their words, there is a lot of pressure.
Knowing about their family, I decided to kill them. I took down all their walls and curtains and put on new clothes. A family of three just booked tickets to Xinjiang on the 6th, and it will take more than 20 days to come back at the end of the month.
On the 25th of this month, the owner came back to leave me a message to express his thanks, and then took a photo and sent it to my circle of friends for publicity. He said that the house for decades suddenly changed, and he felt that he had gone to the wrong door, thinking that a beautiful and comfortable house would always belong to someone else's house, and the whole family had classes. I feel that the efficiency of my home has improved a lot, and I have become fond of cooking and dressing up my home.
How did I change? In fact, it is very simple, that is, choosing the right color. The charm of color makes them feel different and gain different life feelings.
Original: 1, the living room is white latex paint, but this latex paint has turned yellow and is a little off, and it will be moldy when it is wet in the rainy season, so it has a musty smell.
2. The wall of the master bedroom is the same as above, and the curtains are piled up in two layers, which basically blocks the vents of the windows. The yellow curtains are hotter in the sun in the west.
3. The rose curtain used in my daughter's room, the whole room turned red through the curtain, as if the sunset glow shone into the room.
4. Purple curtains for study. When I turned on the desk lamp, the first thing I saw was particularly conspicuous purple, and I was particularly dry. I especially wanted to go out to the living room to read.
After revision: 1, the living room was pasted with a plain wall covering of pale grass green, and the curtains were blue with green mixed with a little pink flowers. The whole living room is like the grass in spring, full of vitality, with flowers blooming on the balcony, just echoing the color of the living room, as if smelling the flowers all the time, drenching with rain and dew, giving people a feeling of pleasure and relaxation, and reading and watching TV here is particularly comfortable.
2. The wall of the master bedroom is light beige, the curtains are moderately green, and the decoration is green and white leaves. Green can reduce the heat of light and give people a gentle feeling. The curtains are divided into four pieces on average, so the windows are particularly spacious. You can sit on the bay window and chat and drink tea.
3. The walls of my daughter's room are also light beige wall covering, the curtains are solid colors of sea blue with a little pink edging, and there are wooden beds and desks, just like vacationing at the seaside. Reading and studying is no longer a burden.
4. Like other rooms, the color of wall covering in the study is light beige. The curtains are made of high-grade gray. The colors of books are red and green, and the tables and chairs are all mahogany. Gray is used in the lively study room to cool down and give people a quiet reading environment.
The house is still the same as before. The furnishings in the house are basically unchanged, but the colors of the walls and curtains have changed. There is a great difference between before and after, the owners have reacted greatly, and the lifestyle has also changed greatly. I have to say that "color can change people's lives".
Q3: Please give an example to explain how you understand the art of apology with high emotional intelligence.
A: Take trivial matters at home as an example.
One afternoon, my mother-in-law and father-in-law took her daughter to play in the community. I was making a client plan at home when I suddenly received a short message, "Boiling mung bean porridge", which was sent to me by my mother-in-law. After receiving the instruction, I immediately rushed out of the bedroom and went to the kitchen. As a result, I saw my mother-in-law holding a corn and saying "cook corn porridge". I saw it, even said "all right", and then went back to the bedroom to continue making plans.
Until eight o'clock in the evening, my mother-in-law and father-in-law brought her daughter back for dinner and asked, "Is the porridge ready?" I'm at a loss. I thought my mother-in-law went home to cook corn porridge. Later I learned that she had gone home to get a water bottle for her daughter. And then I couldn't make it clear. Seeing that I don't cook porridge, my in-laws are hungry and say with a sigh, "Are we the only ones who can cook porridge?" Do you have to wait for us to go home and cook? "After that, I went into the kitchen and started cooking dinner. Because I am angry, I have endless power. Soon I cooked a table of dishes, then I ate with my head down, didn't talk, and didn't help my daughter bathe. I realized that my parents were really angry, but I was also really wronged, so I remembered the scene in my mind and said nothing.
The next morning, I got up early and helped my mother-in-law make breakfast, as if nothing had happened. Then I took the initiative to do a lot of other housework. When I saw my father-in-law, I also took the initiative to ask him if he slept well and if he wanted to eat meat recently. Then I hugged my daughter and started laughing. In fact, what happened yesterday may have been forgotten. After all, my family didn't care too much, but I didn't make it clear that I was uncomfortable. So while everyone was in a good mood, I repeated yesterday's porridge cooking from beginning to end, and then I said what I thought at that time from my point of view, and asked her if she thought so from the perspective of her mother-in-law. As a result, we all thought that both sides were cooking porridge, which led to no porridge. I thought there was no further communication, so I suggested that we communicate more effectively in the future, and then I would actively participate in housework without being reminded by others. As far as I can remember, this is the first time that my mother-in-law and I have had such a small misunderstanding, so after communication, we both feel that there is no big problem and we have not left a bad impression on each other.
An apology with high emotional intelligence is to find the right time, bring it up in a relaxed environment for both sides, and then tell the truth. In this process, say what both sides think. Generally speaking, misunderstandings are caused by disagreement between the two sides, and then analyze their own views, let the other side accept that this view is not what the other side thinks, and express what they will do to make up for this mistake in the future. In the end, it led to the behavior of both sides for so many years, so that the other side completely released their inner prejudice and accepted it sincerely.
Q4: Please give an example to explain how you understand the sentence "A good brand has a vision"? Please make a list of image management and investment for yourself;
A: When our customers go out to buy decoration materials, they will first go to Baidu or inquire which building materials market is the best and most comprehensive, and then search which brand has the highest sales.
If a customer walks directly into a building materials market, he will walk and watch to see which store has an atmosphere, the hanging samples are very colorful, and the sales staff inside are neatly dressed, friendly and professional, so he will walk into which store and know what he needs to buy.
1. Dressing: Besides two sets of textured professional clothes, you need to prepare several sets of fashionable leisure suit and casual dresses. 1 set of casual sportswear.
2, makeup: generally do basic care at home, draw a light makeup at work, if you meet important customers, you need a more delicate makeup.
3, walking: long-term writing at the desk leads to a little bending of the back, so you need to straighten your waist and abdomen when walking.
4, sitting posture: wear trousers to pay attention to one-third of the bench, so that the back will be straight, wear a long skirt to pay attention to the legs tilted together, abdomen straight waist.
5. Speaking: Pay attention to listening between speaking and speaking, and then give a corresponding reply according to the speed of the other person's speech, and keep smiling.
Investment list:
1, clothes, 5000-8000 yuan a year.
2, skin care, 5000-7000 yuan a year.
3, walking posture, prepare to spend 5000-7000 yuan a year to report to the yoga studio, and then practice by yourself.
4. Speaking is a long-term process, which requires reading more books, giving more speeches, participating in community activities, and preparing the activity funds of 2000-4000.
Q5: Please give an example of how you broke down the barriers in the circle with "network thinking" separated by six degrees.
A: Personally, there are thousands of people in my mobile phone address book and WeChat address book, but there are more than a dozen intimate relationships. Less than 30 people keep in touch regularly, and no more than 500 people contact each year. This is the data after reading Meng Jie's book.
However, after I entered the nature reading club on July 30th, I met many young strivers who had never met before but had the same goal. They are positive and sunny, and each has its own unique skills. Everyone has a hard skill. Nature and Yuee's speech and organization ability, heartbeat and star-making Mandarin, Han Xuan's hand-painted mind map, skin care experience of smiling and celebrating, and gull's attraction law all influenced me. I broke the old contact circle in the basic work field. Before I entered the community, I made the rules of networking, which may be the supplier of soft clothing materials, the designer of soft clothing, and our customers are all colleagues or users. Now the circles I make in the community are all friends who have no intersection at work, but always encourage each other, influence each other, praise each other, guide each other and forge ahead together.
How to use network thinking to break down the circle barrier? I think we can enter some positive energy clubs and look for partners with the same frequency in other fields besides work.
Four. Inspiration and harvest (more than 3)
A: Inspiration 1: Never try to make friends with everyone.
Harvest: I learned how to choose the friends I need and make friends with pertinence and goals. People in the whole circle are in an interactive ecological environment and will not be embarrassed to make friends they don't like because of politeness.
Inspiration 2: Keep a sense of boundaries and get along just right.
Harvest: whether it is husband and wife, parents, girlfriends or even strangers, always give each other enough privacy, so that the relationship will be easier.
For example, my dad likes to ask me how many bills I receive every month. I answered four or six orders, and he asked how much each order was. I say it's about 5-8 thousand. He went on to say how much he spent this month and how much he could save. Until the end, I really want to hang up, and the number of calls will be reduced because of my father's inquiry. My husband is most afraid of calling him. On the contrary, my parents-in-law are very nice. They never ask how much they earn this month or why they don't work at home today. Because the in-laws maintain a sense of border with each other, we will get along well without pressure.
Inspiration 3: Nothing can't be refused, only those who don't know how to refuse.
Harvest: Before I met this sentence, I suffered a lot and did a lot of things I didn't want to do. For example, in life, my cousin occasionally added me to WeChat one day, and asked me to borrow money after a few simple chats. I saw him ask again and again, question mark after question mark, right, sister? I borrowed it. Can I pay you back next month? I'm really in a hurry. Well, I think his parents are still good to me, but he asked for 8. 1 billion, knowing that he could not get it back after borrowing it, but he still couldn't get through. To tell the truth, he was not in a good mood when the money was spent, because it was not easy to earn money by himself, even if he donated the money to the disaster area.
After understanding this sentence, I also tried to refuse. My client came to me to look at the decoration materials. Without paying the deposit, he asked for measurement, drawing and making budget statements. To tell the truth, it takes time and effort to do these things. If the customer doesn't pay the bill in the end, all this will soon become sunk costs, so he replied that there is no problem in doing these things, which is what our company should do, just paying the 500 yuan deposit in advance. If you are not satisfied later, that is the sunk cost.
Learning to refuse artistically can improve your work efficiency, reduce social costs and optimize your contacts.
Use mind mapping