What should we consultants do when children's help seekers don't communicate with them? I used this question to investigate the psychological counselors in the advanced class of cognitive behavioral therapy. Everyone put forward ideas and suggestions from different angles. This paper sorts out everyone's thoughts and suggestions for your reference when facing the same problem.
1 Interact with other forms.
First of all, we can think that since the other party is unwilling to speak, we don't have to force the other party to speak. Counselors can interact with children through other forms, establish relationships through interaction, and then start a dialogue on this basis. Zhao Liang, a psychological counselor, said, "Sometimes we use a sand table, sometimes we use an OH card, starting with playing games. This kind of child is more likely to * * *. " Jing, a psychological counselor, took a similar approach, but she used an hourglass instead of a sand table. She said, "I tried a fifth-grade boy and gave him an hourglass to play with and consult while playing."
Sheldon Kashdan, an object relationship consultant, talked about his experience with Mark, a boy of 12 years old. He has tried everything, but the boy still won't talk to him. He decided to take out his chess, and Mark looked at the consultant contemptuously. The consultant is playing chess alone, and Mark is staring at the chessboard to see the consultant playing chess alone. Later, the consultant invited Mark to help move the chess pieces. Later, it was found that Mark was playing chess with the consultant. They have nothing to say except playing chess. The only words that came out of Mark's mouth were "General" and "Dying", and they were said several times later. Mark was glad to win the consultant. The consultant invited Mark to talk about his thoughts and feelings of becoming a consultant. Mark finally started a conversation with the consultant.
2 *** Feel the thoughts and emotions at this moment.
Affection with helpers is an important condition for establishing consulting relationship. If the counselor can understand the idea that the helper is forced to come at the moment, or even want to leave such an idea, it is easy to establish a relationship and start a dialogue.
Lu Huimin, a psychological counselor, thinks * * * is very important. She said, "You don't seem to want to talk to me. Let me guess, you must feel wronged and angry ... "On * * *, Xiao Wen, a psychological consultant, introduced her experience. She said that she had coached a student, who was brought by a counselor. When the students stopped talking, she said to them, "It seems that you don't want to talk. First, hearing what the counselor said, the student immediately spoke, and it can be seen that he has great grievances. Xiao Wen went on to say, "I see. It doesn't matter. Slow down. I can stay here with you for a while before you go. "Later, with the next consultation.
Deng Caixia, a psychological counselor, mentioned Wai-Yung Lee's handling method. Miss Wai-Yung Lee was in no hurry to give advice to the children, but she kindly told them, "I know you don't want to come, but they want you to come and you want to go home from the hospital. Tell me what you want to do, and I'll tell my parents and doctors for you. See if I can help you get out of here. " As soon as the child heard it, the kind teacher couldn't help it and told the counselor.
3 explain the setting of psychological counseling
One of the important reasons why children don't talk to psychological counselors is that they don't understand psychological counseling. They feel that counselors work with parents and teachers, and they are the object of "repair", so they have resistance to counselors and psychological counseling. If the counselor can explain the rules of psychological counseling and dispel children's doubts, it will help them speak.
Regarding the principle of confidentiality, Xing Bing, a psychological counselor, suggested that the counselor should say to the parents in front of the children: "I think I won't disclose any information to you unless the children tell you themselves."
In addition to the principle of confidentiality, counselors should also explain that counselors and helpers are allies, not parents, not teachers. Explain to the help-seekers: The purpose of psychological counseling is to help the help-seekers, stand in the position of the help-seekers, consider the interests of the help-seekers, and help the help-seekers solve the current problems.
There are different reasons why children's help seekers don't talk: First, they don't understand psychological counseling. In this case, we should explain the principle of confidentiality and the principle of alliance with helpers; Secondly, they are wary of the psychological counseling environment or have limited language expression ability. At this time, arranging them to do sand table, painting and other activities is conducive to opening the dialog box; Third, because of conflict or hostility, in this case, the interpretation of the negotiation rules and the feeling of * * * are good starting points.
When the client has not communicated with the counselor, the counselor should not rush to consult. Establishing a consultative relationship is an important task at this stage. As long as the helper can come to consult next time, it means that the first meeting is successful.