This is a consultation exercise that will come soon. Perhaps for this reason, all three of us are very relaxed. At the same time, because we are familiar with each other and have a foundation of trust, as an observer, I see the openness and tacit understanding between visitors and consultants. Because it is offline, I am more focused, have plenty of time, and we communicate more fully, which also makes me realize the value of consultation and training from the perspective of observers again.
Let me explain it from three roles:
From the observer's point of view, I am more of a "see" consultant. In this process, I especially "saw" the consultant's slow fever.
At the beginning of the consultation, the psychological counselor was in a normal state and could see that his mood was stable. As the consultation continued, visitors kept opening their hearts. As the visitors became more and more excited, I saw that the consultant was slowly "ignited" because of the energy of the visitors. Why is it ignited by visitors? Because I noticed that the consultant was "imitating" the movements of the visitors. When the visitor stood up, the consultant also stood up. When the visitor talked about the emotional place, tears appeared in the eyes of the psychological counselor; When the visitor picked up the cup to drink water, the consultant also picked up the cup to drink water ... Later, when I gave feedback, the consultant said that she didn't even realize these actions.
At the same time, for the counselor, I "see" her and she needs to be "seen". During the whole consultation process, the counselor was moved by the story of the visitor, and at the same time, the counselor also shared his feelings. When this feeling received a positive response from the visitors, the psychological counselor became more excited. The expressions of excitement are: speaking faster, changing voice, laughing and so on. All these remind me of some of her past behaviors, and let me better understand the reasons behind her behavior. Later, we also had some discussions about this, which further confirmed my guess.
From the observer's point of view, visitors also have more "seeing", and seeing visitors is good at using body movements to strengthen expression.
Because the visitor needs to choose the ability card for her while listening to the visitor's narrative, which makes me observe the visitor more carefully. I have seen some features that visitors themselves have never noticed-being good at using body movements to strengthen expression. I see visitors dancing when they talk about their emotions, and at the same time, most of their body movements, especially gestures, are in the high-energy zone. This also makes me feel that the visitor is a very positive person, which makes the visitor particularly surprised and moved. After the visit, the visitor shared with me a photo taken by others when we went to a club activity the night before. In the photo, she holds a microphone in her right hand and puts her left hand in the clavicle area. Is this different from us ordinary people?
This is an excellent training method for the observer, that is, me.
Practice listening
Because in the whole consultation process, besides feedback, I need to control myself not to talk. I have always been a person who likes to talk, so it is necessary for me to practice well.
Listen, not only to control yourself from talking, but also to listen to the main content. Because I need to choose a card and need feedback, which requires me to listen attentively, think at the same time, identify key information and grasp key information. Last year, I realized that my ability to capture information needs to be improved, and I want to improve it. I didn't find the right way, but I suddenly felt it today. Isn't this the right way for me ~
Practice record
Not only can it be used to practice listening, but also the ability to record information. If you really can't help but want to say it, you can choose another way, such as writing down the keywords you hear and recording the words that suddenly flash across your mind. In short, I can record whatever I want.
In the feedback stage, I can also share these records with consultants and visitors, which may provide some different perspectives and make them feel different ~
Cultivate self-awareness
In this process, I also realized some of my own characteristics, such as sensibility, observation, picture sense, thinking ability and learning ability.
I really felt my feelings for the first time. Today, I can clearly feel that a very harmonious field has been established between visitors and consultants, and I am a separate field, so I automatically put myself out of their field, so I won't be too influenced by them. Seeing them stand up and talk, I still sat, not affected at all.
My observation seems to be ok. I will pay attention to some details that visitors and consultants don't realize, such as observing the actions of consultants and visitors. For this reason, I also discussed with N. I think it may be because of the psychological foundation of four years in college, because I have studied lectures for nearly 1 year, or because I have long loved works that need "reasoning" such as solving crimes and exploring ancient tombs, which makes me pay special attention to this action point. This also makes me understand why I have been stubborn since I realized that my ability to capture information needs to be improved last year, because it is very important to me. I think by observing the outside, we can infer the real thing inside.
In the process of listening, I will automatically fill in some pictures. For example, when a visitor talks about her life in those days, some pictures will automatically come to mind. This reminds me of the last time I read a book in a Shanghai bookstore, I couldn't help but burst into tears when I looked at it, because those pictures appeared in my mind.
When I am listening, I will automatically match and process the key information I have captured with the information in my mind. I will listen and think, because I don't need to talk, so I can see these thinking processes more clearly, which also allows me to quickly match what I need to strengthen my study.
In today's consultation, visitors and counselors were emotional and couldn't help crying. This picture immediately reminded me. A few days ago, when the teacher talked about her supervision in the live course, her supervision teacher told her not to give him a paper towel when the visitor shed tears. I believe the visitor has his own solution. He can use clothes and wipe them with his hands even at the worst time ... Thinking of this, I will continue to record. Suddenly I feel that my learning ability can be wow, and what I have learned can be used immediately. So, I have several similar things in my mind for an instant.
When I was recognized because of the feedback I gave, the sense of value generated in my heart also made me very happy. It turns out that I still have so many characteristics that I can make more use of them in the future.
By the way, I forgot to mention that in such consultation and training, we also produced a lot of ideas ~ the next step is to implement them ~
In a word, this kind of consulting training is really a win-win situation. For consultants, visitors and observers, they can have different experiences from different angles, so I look forward to next week's training ~